Thank you so much! I never really thought my dinky little journal would draw such praise… 0__0
It certainly makes me want to write more, though!
hahahaha I totally should. She thinks I’m positively nuts already… 
A Train-of-thought Post- Bear With Me (But any advice would be WORSHIPPED)
WARNING: LONG-ASS POST AHEAD. TL;DR STATUS. FORREAL.
I hang out with guys, right? Like, pretty much, only guys. I have maybe 3 girl friends that I see on a semi-regular basis. And I’ve kind of been avoiding them lately… but I digress.
Lately, since I’ve just been hanging around my dude friends, I’ve worn non-sexual pheros. After all, none of them are TG’s, and I don’t want things to get messy. Also, I haven’t been in the mood to fuck with their heads lately. ANYHOO. For the last two nights that I saw them, I wore a perfume with EST one night, and a sort of soft mix with alpha nols, beta nols, and EST the second. Now, normally I can hold my own in a room full of guys, but for some reason, it became “pick on Jericho day.” Nothing mean, but they were treating me the way they normally treated other girls, i.e, poking fun, ganging up on me (humor-wise), and generally hassling me. One even kind of realized what was going on and said to me, “I’m sorry, man. It’s just that kind of a day. I guess today is your day.” Usually, I’m just treated like one of the guys! Hell, I’ve been called “bro” on more than one occasion.
I’ve seen a similar reaction before with a guy I know when I wore IS/b around him. He’s the kind of guy who’ll be a jerk only if he thinks you’re weak, and when I wore the IS/b, he was a total assbag to me, whereas he was normally pretty decent.
Maybe the softness of the mones I wore the other night made me seem like a helpless little girl, so they treated me like one? How irritating.
But here is my conundrum: people tell me that I give off a don’t-approach-me vibe, even when I’m not trying to. Something about the way my face sits when I’m not paying attention, the way I walk, I dunno. So, my answer to that has been looking into mones that will soften my image up, make me more approachable. Hence the EST and b-nols. But when I use them, my guy friends lose the respect they had for me as an honorary dude, and start treating me like “the girl.”
Okay. I think I might have a better idea of what’s going on now. Let me know if any of this sounds like total bullshit.
- My problem with attracting prospective TG’s is the unapproachability factor, guys I’m attracted to have trouble feeling they can get close to me. I’m too much of a guy, or too closed-off.
- The (current) problem with my friends is a respect issue. They are probably getting too comfortable with me, much more… familiar in a way they never would be with me “as a guy.” Basically, I’m losing dude-cred. (lol)
SO, I think I may have a solution. Or at least, an explanation.
The EST and image-softening mones have been working, but I’ve just been applying them in the wrong situations. They made me seem like the girl I’ve worked for years not to be. HOWEVER, that girl, the one that I’d almost killed (save for recent events) in the minds of my friends, is probably the kind of girl that would be attractive to the guys I actually want to date. More vulnerable, maybe? I dunno. I don’t do girly. I’m not used to it. Hence, needing the pheros.
The plan: switch up the mones. Ditch the girly, soft ones around friends, try to find a good respect/dominance mix. Around potential TG’s however, USE THOSE GIRLY BITCHES LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW. As well as cops. Tons of cops. Gotta have my Cops! (heh…
)
Maybe some socials too. CTTM status. Still working on that one… but yeah.
GIST: Get a dominance or respect mix for chilling with friends. FEAR BREEDS PLATONIC LOVE.
…just kidding.
This has been a post on what not to fucking do, by Jericho.
I’ll let you know when I figure out the right thing to do.
..It probably involves cops.
Update: Tonight I saw the same guys as last time, but wore IS/a. A tiny bit of heckling about not having seen Inception, but other than that, I’m back, baby!
While mones can do a great job of compensating, I find that it helps most to emphasize and enhance FIRST what you already have going. THEN worry about compensation or enhancing a part of you that is barely there, but there by just a little bit, seemingly not at all. It is much easier to have congruence and to know what to do with mones that just enhance your more natural version of being sexy.
Best of luck,
Flight
Very true. And it’s not that I lack estrogen completely, I can be feminine as well as tomboyish. The trick is balancing those dual aspects of myself and using the pheros accordingly.
When I’m with the guys, I generally act tougher. So I’d do well using a tough-chick mix. Not necessarily anything sexy though, seeing as that’s not the kind of situation I want to create.
When I’m in flirt-mode, I need to seem girlier, so I’m already turning down my dude-ness a little. The best thing to do would be to reach for a mone that’s congruent with that image.
Basically, what you just said is on the nose. I just had to figure it out the hard way…
I love IS/a. That is all.
This past week, pheros were used to befriend a roadie.
Result: chilled with the band at a motel, and made an awesome new friend.
Score.
A few months of being off the pherotalk grid has taught me a few things:
- Instant shine does NOT work for me.
- Cops are amazing.
- I get more tips with IS/a.
This is kind of what I’m hoping I can do with pheromones too. My first (tiny) order’s still on its way, but yeah I’m kinda like you in a sense. I wanna be ‘one of the boys’ with my platonic guy friends, and kinda alpha female-y/dominant with my girl friends, but the guys I’m attracted to tend to be alphas too. So around them, the girly pheromones to no end, cops if need be. Hopefully it’ll work. Eeep!