# A Few Laughs.....Lol **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [July 9, 2009, 12:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-few-laughs-lol/30543 "2009-07-09T12:25:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 2\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tommy369](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tommy369/32/754_2.png) [@Tommy369](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tommy369)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 12:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-few-laughs-lol/30543/1 "2009-07-09T12:25:43Z")
**To Diet For** A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads “Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (202) 555-0238” and decides to make the call. The operator asks, “How much weight do you want to lose?” “Ten pounds,” he replies. “We’ll have a representative over in the morning,” says the operator. About 9 a.m., there’s a knock on the door. There stands a fairly good-looking girl, completely naked except for a sign around her neck reading “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.” The hefty fellow chases her upstairs, downstairs, and all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing, he catches her. After they have sex, he runs to the bathroom and weighs himself. He’s lost 10 pounds! That night he calls the number again and says, “I want to lose 20 pounds.” “We’ll send someone over.” The next morning, he’s greeted by a gorgeous girl dressed only in track shoes and wearing a sign around her neck that reads “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.” The chase takes a good while longer this time, but later he finds he’s lost 20 pounds! That night he calls and says, “I want to lose 50 pounds!” “Fifty pounds?” the operator asks. “That’s an awful lot.” The man replies, “Listen, just take care of it!” About 7 a.m. the man hears a knock and opens the door. Outside stands an enormous gorilla with a sign around its neck that reads “If I catch you…” **What She Likes** It’s the spring of 1959, and Bobby arrives at his date’s house to take her to a dance. When he knocks on the door, her dad answers. “Have a seat,” the old man says. “Peggy Sue will be ready in a minute.” The dad grabs Bobby a cold beer, and the two sit down together. “You know,” the dad says, “my daughter really loves to screw. She just loves to work up a sweat.” He smiles proudly and winks at Bobby, who has nearly choked on his beer. “Yup, yup,” the dad continues. “She loves that screwing. Just can’t get enough of it.” When Peggy Sue comes down the stairs, Bobby hurries her out the door to his car. Five minutes later, she comes running back inside. “Damn it, Daddy!” she screams. “The twist! It’s called the twist!” **The Call Of Nature** Two women go out one weekend without their husbands . As they come back, just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second , not finding anything either , thought " I’m not getting rid of my panties…" so she used the ribbon of a nearby flower wreath. The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone , and one says to the other : " We have to be on the look-out , it seems these two were up to no good last night , my wife came home without her panties…" The other one responded : " You’re lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, " We will never forget you." **God…** Man says to God : " God , Why did you make women so beautiful?" God says : " So you would love her." " But God," the man says , " why did you make her so dumb?" God says : " So she would love you." 😉 ---
**Author:** ![moonwhisper](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/moonwhisper/32/1735_2.png) [@moonwhisper](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/moonwhisper)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 6:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-few-laughs-lol/30543/2 "2009-07-10T06:03:22Z")
It takes a special kind of stupid to not notice a card stuck to your butt.