# A Little Humor For The Girls This Morning **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 20, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601 "2007-03-20T13:54:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ilsa](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ilsa/32/1552_2.png) [@ilsa](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ilsa)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/1 "2007-03-20T13:54:17Z")
Someone sent this to me on Myspace. I hope this isn’t out of place on this forum,but this is the Women’s forum after all, and I didn’t want to put it in the lounge. This had me cracking up. This is oh so familiar, and something I think we can all relate to… FOR ALL THE WOMENBody:\> \> \>AN OPEN LETTER TO \>MR. JAMES THATCHER, \>BRAND MANAGER, \>PROCTER & GAMBLE. \> \>February 6, 2007 \> \>Dear Mr. Thatcher, \> \>I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I \>appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or \>Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa \>dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in \>tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary \>Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how \>crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and \>secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants. \> \>Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the \>curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting \>right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging \>through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll \>be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with \>knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing? \> \>As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen \>quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ \>monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, \>puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, \>crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough \>time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the \>violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill \>just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken \>chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that \>America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which \>brings me to the reason for my letter. \> \>Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach \>inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and \>there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy \>Period.” \> \>Are you fucking kidding me? \> \>What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really \>think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a \>menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit \>pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M \>freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you \>have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your \>house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens armed with a \>hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For \>the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a \>moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something \>that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular \>Manslaughter Is Wrong”? Or are you just picking on us? \> \>Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, \>there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my \>maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your \>Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending \>bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always. \> \>Best, \> \>Wendi Aarons \>Austin, TX ---
**Author:** ![HotMama](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hotmama/32/1786_2.png) [@HotMama](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/HotMama)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 1:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/2 "2007-03-20T13:59:04Z")
This is freakin’ great! Love the new picture, too! HM ---
**Author:** ![ilsa](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ilsa/32/1552_2.png) [@ilsa](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ilsa)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/3 "2007-03-20T14:02:07Z")
I just reread that with my fiance, and I think I am actually in tears from the laughter… ---
**Author:** ![vkat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/59ef9b/32.png) [@vkat](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vkat)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/4 "2007-03-20T14:31:03Z")
Omigod, this is hilarious…now I think those more pertinent warnings would really be a good idea…it reminds me of what a male friend of mine used to say to me that would always stop me in my tracks…“Two words, vkat…_prison b\*\*tch_”. " Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong 😃 l. Although I read Put Down the Hammer as a suggestion, lol. Thanks Ilsa. You ladies have given me more pure laughter lately - it feels good. ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/5 "2007-03-20T14:44:13Z")
HAHAHHAAHAHA … PUT DOWN THE HAMMER! I love it. ---
**Author:** ![alseides](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/alseides/32/1039_2.png) [@alseides](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/alseides)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 3:10pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/6 "2007-03-20T15:10:51Z")
Haha… dear god, hilarious! I have resisted the urge to write something similar many a time… probably why it strikes me as so bloody (no pun intended) funny. Thanks Ilsa. That was classic! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saraunne](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/saraunne/32/193_2.png) [@saraunne](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/saraunne)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/7 "2007-03-20T15:31:32Z")
HILARIOUS. I’m wearing Always as we speak, too… oops! Too much information! ---
**Author:** ![sam17](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sam17/32/1143_2.png) [@sam17](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sam17)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 3:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/8 "2007-03-20T15:58:09Z")
priceless!!! i just fowarded it to basically everyone i know… ---
**Author:** ![LaurieNY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bbce88/32.png) [@LaurieNY](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LaurieNY)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/9 "2007-03-20T16:59:14Z")
That. Was. _Awesome_. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/10 "2007-03-20T17:08:56Z")
new pic rocks,ilsa! ---
**Author:** ![LaurieNY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bbce88/32.png) [@LaurieNY](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LaurieNY)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/11 "2007-03-20T17:16:21Z")
Agreed. Very pretty, but we knew that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ilsa](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ilsa/32/1552_2.png) [@ilsa](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ilsa)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/12 "2007-03-20T17:53:45Z")
Thanks, you are all so sweet.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jpballerina](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jpballerina/32/1004_2.png) [@jpballerina](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jpballerina)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/13 "2007-03-20T18:15:31Z")
Ahahahaha!! Hahahaha! Ha, ha, ha! _wheezing, coughing, almost dying but gonna live_ xoxo jp ---
**Author:** ![dolly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dolly/32/1591_2.png) [@dolly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dolly)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/14 "2007-03-20T18:28:34Z")
Toooooooo Funny…I love it!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bunny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bunny)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/15 "2007-03-20T18:49:06Z")
_Has just copied and pasted that and sent it to 23 people_ Fab, Kristen! 🙂 Ail 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Katie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a4c791/32.png) [@Katie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Katie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/16 "2007-03-20T19:31:45Z")
Hahahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Katie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a4c791/32.png) [@Katie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Katie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/17 "2007-03-20T19:32:46Z")
Oh…and your pic is FAB ilsa! ---
**Author:** ![ReaderGrrl](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/readergrrl/32/2170_2.png) [@ReaderGrrl](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ReaderGrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/18 "2007-03-21T00:15:44Z")
Hilarious! Mainly because it is only too true! ---
**Author:** ![AKmedic](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/akmedic/32/1487_2.png) [@AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-little-humor-for-the-girls-this-morning/2601/19 "2007-03-21T03:22:11Z")
Heh! that’s too funny. I can’t see avatars right now for some reason, but I bet your new pic is awesome. \*\*EDIT. it IS awesome. Also, I am going to use the phrase, “I feel more secure knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants” in everyday usage. I love it.