# A PASt friend zoned situation, a new man in progress, still confused! **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 21, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980 "2011-04-21T05:06:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![seekingadvice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58f4c7/32.png) [@seekingadvice](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/seekingadvice)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980/1 "2011-04-21T05:06:29Z")
Mones for after 😛, first the story lol Cut this story short 😛 Been in a triangular friend zone situation, 2 guys 1 girl. Both guys after the girl. Girl likes no1. Result until now: 3 friends split from the group! This hoopla was going on for about 2-3 years. Girl knows both guys liked her. Girl unwilling to go out (as in date 😛). 6 months ago, I cut contact with her, it just died and I started ignoring/cut her off because it was getting too redundant and I wanted to meet other girls and was too much to “worry” about. It was dieing sort of. 3-4 months later I get a call from her, which I never picked up or returned. Out of the blue a friend of mine, goes online on Facebook, and sees her on so talks to her and says to her that I have deep feelings for her. And that she should talk to me and go out with me because I will take care of her, etc… She asks how do you know? “he doesn’t even pick up my calls or return them” He says (and gets personal at the same time) that my dad has had some health problems and I haven’t attended college this semester. So she says that she wants to be there for me as a friend and then.. “okay I’ll give him a call tomorrow but make sure he picks up and if he can’t pick up, returns my call”. So basically after her saying she doesn’t want to talk to me b/c of w/e , he convinced her the reason _dad’s health + school_ to talk to me. So 3 days later, I get a call, which I didn’t answer, I was at work. And she texts right after saying “hey..I just heard about your dad, hope he is okay” I didn’t answer yet. What’s best way to go with this? This is the thing, I would like to game (attract) her at one point. I am doing me currently. Trying to meet new people, yes girls but guys too, make more friends and enjoy my life. Only concern is, if I talk to her NOw it will always be based on sympathy, wouldn’t it? So it will always be in her head that she is just sympathizing me and I won’t be able to game her through other techniques? If not, how would I go about this? 😕 I’m not letting it phase me, but honestly I’m not that deep into the gaming world YET where I can just go with however I feel. I have learning to do. But I am a changed man from months ago, a more confident guy. P.S. No I did not tell that friend of mine to go talk to her, he just got into my business out of nowhere b/c he thought he was doing me a favor. Personally I was mad about the fact where he told her about my personal things such as my school and my father’s situation. Last, mones will help no matter what is decided but I think _for me_ congruency + body language is the biggest factor in making the mones and the situation as effective as can be! So that I will get into after some options I see from you fellow experienced peepules 😛 ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980/2 "2011-04-21T05:52:12Z")
If you’re worried about her frame being that of sympathy, you can always respond and just say, “Hey right now is not the time to get together, but when I have some free time I’ll definitely text you.” I wouldn’t keep ignoring her. Sure you can play disinterested, but at some point you’re just being rude…LOL. Then when the smoke clears just text something simple like…“hey…” Nothing more, then let her chase from there. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 7:40am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980/3 "2011-04-21T07:40:12Z")
I think by now she has made it pretty clear your just friends. Even with [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) you cant make people feel something for you that they dont. Pheromones just bring out and enhance feelings that already exist. She made it clear in her response to your friend she is still just interested in being there for you as a friend. I would go with what thegentleman suggested and politely respond and thank her for the support but your to busy right now to get together. If she wants you she will pursue you. Your moving forward and growing on your own and sometimes certain friendships can hold you back. Its natural to outgrow certain relationships. It doesn’t mean you dont like or care for the person just that the friendship as it was was not serving your needs anymore. I think if your rekindle this one fully like it was before it will just hold you back again. JMO Tisha ---
**Author:** ![seekingadvice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58f4c7/32.png) [@seekingadvice](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/seekingadvice)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980/4 "2011-04-21T13:53:06Z")
Thank you guys. 🙂 That’s how I was aiming at this, it would be rude to ignore now and would most likely leave no chance of anything coming out in the future if we were to run into each other. (I think.. or atleast it would be awkward) So pondering it about a little bit, I get both of your points and in all honesty it was a good friendship but nonetheless I don’t want to be stuck in it either. I’ll take your advice and atleast thank for the support, which I believe is the right thing to do. It’s time to continue to grow. Thanks again 😛 ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980/5 "2011-04-21T15:21:18Z")
> [@seekingadvice](#): > > Thank you guys. 🙂 That’s how I was aiming at this, it would be rude to ignore now and would most likely leave no chance of anything coming out in the future if we were to run into each other. (I think.. or atleast it would be awkward) > > So pondering it about a little bit, I get both of your points and in all honesty it was a good friendship but nonetheless I don’t want to be stuck in it either. I’ll take your advice and atleast thank for the support, which I believe is the right thing to do. It’s time to continue to grow. Thanks again 😛 Only from personal experiences can I say that I do have to disagree with tisha on this one 😮. She is correct that most of the times that a girl will tell you that you’re just friends, then you’re just friends. It really is one of two things, you’ve already relegated yourself to the friend behaviours, you didn’t keep sexual tension between you two and kept the light flirting up. The more I experience the more I start to realize that it is very very hard to keep a platonic relationship with a female or vice versa for them. There will always be an inkling of attraction or tension between the two. Now whether the people act on it is a different story. A majority of my experiences of hookups and intimate encounters have been with friends. I can tell you that if you handle it with care and maturity that you can continue being friends. The only thing is to be up front about it. Let me break down the “game” for you as easy as possible. The behaviors and actions that the books teach you are essentially all the same thing, yea they throw lines in and steps, but it just comes down to these things; comfort and confidence. You have to be comfortable with yourself and your surroundings that your body language has to show it, the more tense you are the more you will exude that and on the people that you’re trying to “game”. This directly leads to your confidence, this is really the main aspect of what you need. And confidence, either through validation (will elaborate on this in a little bit) or continuous self improvement will help get you out of the friend zone. I’ll go over game basics, on how I’ve used it, then go into how you can use that to give yourself a better chance with her. When you’re secure with yourself, you exude the confidence, that “walk”, and that aura that women just absolutely find instantly attractive. You essentially will have to take what is stopping you from being that and then work on overcoming them. As you overcome them, your confidence and comfort will go up. Women will be able to tell that you’re comfortable in your own skin, you’re in your element. You have to change your elements around so that no matter where you go, you will eventually lead up to being comfortable anywhere you are whether you’re in a club, a bar, a dinner, a date, or at the grocery store. You’ll be able to talk to women so naturally that your attractiveness will instinctually come. The biggest mistake the guys make when trying to do this with a friend is use techniques and moves that are so off what they’re used to you that they will think its a farse and just dismiss it, some will even get completely turned off by it. I’m just going to link you to my writeup on this before, that should help. There may be some inconsistencies because I wrote that a few months ago and I’ve been continually improving myself and the game that perspectives could have changed. If you have questions, just ask. > [@Turning a friend into something more](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/turning-a-friend-into-something-more/39840): > > I’ve seen a lot of guys here asking how to turn friendship into a relationship or just to escalate things further. Most of us are good people that just want and mean the best things in life. However, sometimes those qualities will automatically put us in the friend zone. Many, if not all guys have been there in that situation one way or another. The following is based off of my experiences and is in no way a guidebook or a step-by-step process to do this. Why we fall. Whether it be physi… As for pheromone usage, I personally like A314, but based on your age on the page and her perceived age compared to yours, I would go with [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/). Get some IH in there and Instant Shine. A low dose of TUTH later on as you escalate flirting and kino would definitely help you out. Remember that you have to do this SLOWLY and do this on your own terms, and don’t be an ass, if she texts you, respond. It may not be on the spot but you have to respond sometime that day. When you do talk to her just explain to her that you really did mean to get back to her, but because of what was going on, you were always getting sidetracked, it wasn’t your intention to ignore her. That’s it, people will only chase so far. ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/a-past-friend-zoned-situation-a-new-man-in-progress-still-confused/49980/6 "2011-04-21T16:36:31Z")
To reiterate the people will only chase so far point… If a girl is chasing you, you do need to iintermittently reward her otherwise the lesson she learns is chasing you equals bad. Simple conditioning here, pavlov’s theory and all. Also, I never understand why in some cases a guy will get all the signals. I mean bells and whistles going off and instead of acting on it they just keep gaming the girl. Ross Jeffries who’s style is Speed Seduction using NLP patterns to elicit behaviors and responses from women tells this one story of a student sitting in a bar with a girl when she turns to him and says, “If I had one more drink in me I’d take you home and fuck you.” The guy tells Ross from there he started doing this pattern, then another and all of a sudden she got up and walked away. Ross told him, “there was only one pattern you should have done…'Bartender!” If you miss the point, the point is once you got the fish on the hook, there’s no need to keep adding on more bait. Just reel her in.