# Advice for me, gay guy here with major crush on partnered man. **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [June 4, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597 "2011-06-04T07:35:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sgcash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@sgcash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sgcash)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/1 "2011-06-04T07:35:10Z")
I’m a gay guy who’s partnered, my partner and I meet up with this other guy to have a 3some and I’ve grown attached to him. (Let’s call him J) So over the course of the last 4 weeks I tell J that I’m into him and I’d like to take things further. We he agrees and we kind of fool around one day and immediately after he tells me he feels guilty and he can’t continue being physical with me but wants me to remain in his life as his best friend. I thought sure let him sort out everything, 3 weeks ago I get my mones delivered from smartmones and proceed in using A314 + a spray of IG and 2 sprays of TUTH. So no contact with him for the week before that, just texts. I put on the mix, he seems to like it when we hug and make out. But this week he suddenly tells me he doesn’t have as intense feelings for me as I do for him and that he has feelings for another guy whom he’s not even met in person just webcammed and chat with. He says he didn’t want me to find out and wanted to “let me down slow” but he’s also said that if he ever were single and if I were single he wouldn’t turn down my advances. I mean they’re both partnered to other people but not getting what they want out of the relationship. (Yes what a tangled web we weave) He tells me he has no sexual attraction for me and yet he doesn’t want to lose me as a dear friend. Can anyone suggest a mix to turn on the sexual attraction? I have ammo, TUTH, IG, IS, A314, IO and IH. I know I should back off and let him figure everything out, but as much as I want to. I can’t ---
**Author:** ![sgcash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@sgcash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sgcash)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 7:45am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/2 "2011-06-04T07:45:17Z")
If it helps J is 7 years (36) older than I am (I’m 29) his partner is 2 years younger. And the person he’s interested in is 11 years older (40) than I am. He keeps saying I’m mature for my age, mentally. I read that IG would probably be better for younger “targets” ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 8:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/3 "2011-06-04T08:41:20Z")
Now please keep in mind that I would give the same advice if a straight person wrote this except in the choice of mones of course. You have a partner in which you plan to cheat on and you want J to go along with this plan even though it makes him feel guilty and bad about himself and you want to deprive him of a chance of his own relationship. Wow you really dont care about this person much do you ? I know you said you cant but there is no such thing as cant but there is such a thing as wont. I think you should back off pursueing this person until you have your shit together. Its not him who needs to get his together he knows what he wants and what he is willing to do and not do. As far as [pheromones](https://a314.com/), while gay men are attracted to male pheromones they tend to like them less aggressive. Your wore a lot of aggressive male mones. I suggest some Ishine IH and P74 to go with the heavy male stuff. Even with the mones there is no guarantee he will be sexually attracted to you if his interest lies somewhere else. If you push it you risk losing his friendship all together. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![sgcash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@sgcash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sgcash)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 9:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/4 "2011-06-04T09:31:55Z")
We all have partners, my partner knows about what I’m doing, J’s partner asked him to do it but doesn’t want to know details and the last guy’s partner is just.. there. Thank you for the advice, will try and sort through my own issues as well. I guess I felt like if he’s going to cheat on his partner with another person who was partnered as well why not cheat with me? I will work on IH and IS, should I still be using [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/)/TUTH/A314? He’s said that he can’t imagine himself without this friendship. And I do not know if that’s a good or bad thing. > [@tisha23](#): > > Now please keep in mind that I would give the same advice if a straight person wrote this except in the choice of mones of course. > > You have a partner in which you plan to cheat on and you want J to go along with this plan even though it makes him feel guilty and bad about himself and you want to deprive him of a chance of his own relationship. Wow you really dont care about this person much do you ? > > I know you said you cant but there is no such thing as cant but there is such a thing as wont. I think you should back off pursueing this person until you have your shit together. Its not him who needs to get his together he knows what he wants and what he is willing to do and not do. > > As far as pheromones, while gay men are attracted to male pheromones they tend to like them less aggressive. Your wore a lot of aggressive male mones. I suggest some Ishine IH and P74 to go with the heavy male stuff. > > Even with the mones there is no guarantee he will be sexually attracted to you if his interest lies somewhere else. If you push it you risk losing his friendship all together. > > Tisha ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 9:45am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/5 "2011-06-04T09:45:12Z")
> [@](#): > > I will work on [IH](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) and IS, should I still be using [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/) / [TUTH](https://a314.com/product/turn-up-the-heat-tuth/) / [A314](https://a314.com/product/a314-classic/) ? Still use the A314. Alternate between the TUTH and AMMO depending on where you are with him. If your going…lets say … out to eat or to a club then go with the Ammo. If your going to be alone in a imtimate type setting go with the TUTH. Layer your Ishine and IH on top. Go a little higher in dose with the socials then the masculines. You want to create/enhance the feeling of comfort and connection. > [@](#): > > We all have partners, my partner knows about what I’m doing, J’s partner asked him to do it but doesn’t want to know details and the last guy’s partner is just.. there. > > Thank you for the advice, will try and sort through my own issues as well. I guess I felt like if he’s going to cheat on his partner with another person who was partnered as well why not cheat with me? Well you didnt mention the other partners knowing about the the nature of your relationship with J. Thats not cheating then. Cheating is when the others are not aware. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![sgcash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@sgcash](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sgcash)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 10:12am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/6 "2011-06-04T10:12:38Z")
Thank you for the tip. > [@tisha23](#): > > Still use the A314. Alternate between the TUTH and AMMO depending on where you are with him. > > If your going…lets say … out to eat or to a club then go with the Ammo. If your going to be alone in a imtimate type setting go with the TUTH. Layer your Ishine and IH on top. Go a little higher in dose with the socials then the masculines. You want to create/enhance the feeling of comfort and connection. > > Well you didnt mention the other partners knowing about the the nature of your relationship with J. Thats not cheating then. Cheating is when the others are not aware. > > Tisha ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/7 "2011-06-04T19:37:33Z")
Tisha won’t steer you wrong with personal advice or advice on mones. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![little](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@little](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/little)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 8:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/advice-for-me-gay-guy-here-with-major-crush-on-partnered-man/50597/8 "2011-06-05T08:19:34Z")
> [@thegentleman](#): > > Tisha won’t steer you wrong with personal advice or advice on mones. 🙂 ditto ~ 😛