# Always the anxious new girl **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [January 19, 2008, 6:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434 "2008-01-19T06:01:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aussiabroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@aussiabroad](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/aussiabroad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 6:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/1 "2008-01-19T06:01:15Z")
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading many of the contributions before signing on. Haven’t laughed so much in a long time! Thanks. My story is sad but true. Used to have a great life, but moved countries and cultures and almost lost my husband in the shuffle - he opted for an affair rather than deal with problems on the homefront and it is hard to have meaningful conversations when your spouse is on the other side of the world in the arms of another woman! 😠 Time and guilt have brought him home and therapy is a torture that we are willing to bear. I got on to the site by thinking about happiness and trying to make myself feel stronger while “going through the process”. Pheromones seem like a kinder alternative to Prozac! And it also seems like you all have a great deal of fun with it and I could use some fun right now.:o So here are my newbie queries. I would love to reconnect with my man and to remind him of all my “qualities” that intrigued him before. I have ordered some to-go sizes of Instant Shine (need me some happy!) and [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) (goes without saying, doesn’t it?), Instant Sexiness and some Lust After Me. My anxieities arise from a concern he will think I’m trying to trick him into something if he detects some new smell. I can vouch that he doesn’t have a particularly good sense of smell and we both adore neroli based fragrances but are they strong enough to cover anything too funky? Can’t stand candy/vanilla or even musky scents myself but I do wear some stronger non-neroli scents in winter (Chanel Allure, Dolce and Gabbana Per Donna, Chanel No5 and an unusual old fragrance called Obelisk from MCM which is really cinnamony and reminds me of all things Christmassy) Do pheromones flip some switch that could freak him out which is the last thing I want. I am prepared to be pretty sneaky at his stage of the game but not if it could have some totally unnerving effect on him! I have been reading a great deal about Essence of Woman and it sounds way too daunting for me! I feel I can wait on the steamy things for now and just want softer, kinder, gentler stuff. It would be so helpful if the site had a “scratch and sniff” section! What would your recommendations be, based on the items I have for the first few times? I need specifics on when and how to apply them so I’m over the head rush of anything before I come in contact with him. I also have two small children and was curious about the effects of pheromones on them. Certainly don’t need the kids acting any weirder than they do right now! I eagerly await any and all pearls of wisdom!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 9:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/2 "2008-01-19T09:16:44Z")
Hello Welcome to the forum 🙂 Nice first order. No your husband wont detect the mones. He may detect a new perfume smell but its not bizarre or anything so he wont think anything. So dont panic if he mentions you smell good. You can smell the mones in the bottles. At least I can with most of them. But when they are on you people just smell the neroli. LAM, I am not going to lie it smells pretty nasty. Works great but its a strong copulin formula that smells like butt cheese. It takes some practice to learn what covers it best. Put on a few drops (its oil based) and let it dry down for maybe 10 to 15 minutes. Then spray your perfume right over the application point. I also suggest you ease him into your mone use. In nature our mone signatures change as we age. He knows your natural mone sig even though he is not consious that he does. If you put everything on at once he will notice that somethings different but he will never guess what it is. This happened with my husband. He would just look at me funny like I grew a third boob or he was seeing me for the first time. He would ask questions like, did you get haircut? Is that a new blouse? Things like that. I would start with Instant shine. 1 spray to hair the first day. Then the next use 2 sprays, 1 to hair, 1 to neck. Move up like that till you start to see results. This way you will know what the most effective dosage is. Its usually around 3 or 4. Then move on to [Instant sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) and so the same thing as above. Next use IH and use it more to the back of you body or low in front, like the back of your head or neck or your wrists , crook of elbow. This way you wont get the self effects if you dont want them. The self effects are not bad it just lossens your tounge a bit. 😉 Save LAM for last and practice with this one using 1 drop way before you know you will see him. work up from there. Actually on the Kid front. Mones like Ishine and IH make them act better in my opinion. They seem more calm and contented. Some of the mens mones can possibly frighten them but even with those they seem to attract more then repel. I think they get a safe feeling from the masculine mones. Other then that I never seen any reactions from them. If you need help or have any question just ask or you can PM me if you like. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Kusro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f05b48/32.png) [@Kusro](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kusro)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 9:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/3 "2008-01-19T09:29:11Z")
Hello aussieabroad, Welcome to the forum! Its a nice place to hang out, share your testing and experiences. The ladies are much more experienced to anwer your specific questions than I am. Great choices of the products that you ordered there. You can start with [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/), one or two sprays, and gauge the self effects and effects on people around you including your man. The smell is nice not over powering. Most of the instant lines dont require any cover scent, they smell good by themselves. After the Instant Shine alone you can add Instant Sexiness in combo with Instant Shine. I havent heard any negative effects on children especially on the Instant line of pheros. You need to experiment slowly and check the results. You can leave the copulin heavy stuff for later on, when you have experienced the ones mentioned above. Most applications are to the back of the neck, side of the neck, hair, pulse points on the wrists, basically in open areas where your target can easily get a whiff of them. Read the stickies in the women’s section, and soon the girls will be around to give you even better advise. Have fun, and do report back your experiences! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aussiabroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@aussiabroad](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/aussiabroad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 10:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/4 "2008-01-19T10:02:42Z")
Hey Tisha, Thanks so much for the response and the information. I ordered last night and have to wait for international shipping. The man is away on business (again!) and isn’t due back for another 10 days so I am hoping it will arrive before he gets back and maybe it will seem like “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. No intention of hitting the hard stuff too early - especially if it smells like butt cheese! I do have some nice aromatherapy blends that are oily and may cover “butt cheese”. Where does one apply it anyway so it is least offensive? And can you apply a lighter fragrance which is predominantly alcohol and water based over the oily stuff? I’m not interested in “waking” anyone else up - like work colleagues (they’re all unappealing to me anyway) so is it the kinda thing I can put on on my way home from work and just breeze in or does it have to be on longer to “mature” on the skin? The questions that arise when you start to delve into this! Thanks again. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 11:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/5 "2008-01-19T11:55:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Where does one apply it anyway so it is least offensive? And can you apply a lighter fragrance which is predominantly alcohol and water based over the oily stuff? For Lust After Me I apply it to my wrists, crook of elbows if I am not wearing long sleeves, On my neck pulse points, I also like to put a drop about a 2 inches behind my ears right wear the skull and neck meet. This way I dont smell it as much. I didnt like my lower neck or chest area cause its to stinky, the Lust After Me not my chest LOL, You can cover with anything you want that works well. Light scents wont cover it so you will have to experiment. You will also have to experiment with how many drops you need to see results. I need alot because I am 42 and was on the pill most my adult life. Younger women seem to need less to see the effects. So while I need 10 drops you may need alot less. So dont get discouraged if you dont see results right away. All [pheromone products](https://a314.com/shop/) take some practice but the cop formulas take a bit more practice then the rest. I understand that your not interested in attracting other people. Instant Honesty, Instant Shine and IS/A are all work safe and can be useful. Instant Shine will make people just more pleasant to be around and IS/a will attract some attention but also gives you a euphoric confident ready to concure the world feeling. So they can still be safe and useful away from home if you choose to wear them or need to apply them before leaving work and need to stop in the store or something. Instant Honesty makes others more comfortable and interested when they are effected by it whoch dependingon what your job is can be useful. I dont know how long it takes for you to get home from work but if you can apply it there let it dry down 10 to 15 min then cover with your fragrance. Now dont panic if for some reason you cant cover it. I have worn it uncovered just to see what would happen and no one noticed in fact one girl said Umm you smell nice what is that? I was thinking Jeez are you nuts I smell like “ode to buttcheese”. Others dont perceive it the same way we do when we smell it. I have no idea why but I have proved it to myself over and over by wearing both Lust After Me and EOW uncovered. I cover just so I dont have to smell them. But once your used to it its like anything else you hardly notice it. You can also use the IS/A Instant Honesty or Instant Shine to cover it which after you have tested for dosage is a good option for effectiveness. I love the smell of those even with the slight pheromone smell coming through. If you need help pop on down to the womens section. Feel free to jump right in you dont have to wait till you get your products to join in. We talk about all sorts of things down there. Plus the parfum section is fun to. 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 12:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/6 "2008-01-19T12:40:30Z")
Welcome. You sound like an upright lady with honorable objectives. Something to consider is embarking on the pheromone adventure together with your partner, with his knowledge. It could be a fun and sharing adventure, as it is for me and my wife. Your relationship may or may not survive, but fun together and honesty may be a more stable ground than even the perception of trickery. I suggest avoiding desperation, either in motivations or perceptions of motivations. As you noted, [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) can inject a note of fun investigation into your life. An added side benefit is that they may make you more attractive and social to others, and this will be seen by your partner. That observation is likely to have a stronger effect than the pheromones themselves. Pheromone effects are usually weakest on those that know us well and have already developed conceptual models of us. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 12:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/7 "2008-01-19T12:56:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Pheromone effects are usually weakest on those that know us well and have already developed conceptual models of us. GW, I know you and your wife share in your mone adventure which I think is great. My husband is just not interested in “smellies” as he call them. He dosnt know they are mones but he hears the word thrown around the house a bit. He thinks its more of a aromatherapy thing which is fine by me. My question to you though is do you think that because your wife is aware you use mones that the effect is weaker ? The effect on my husband is strong. It wasnt at first though it seemed to take longer to effect him then others but when it did, it was amazing. Do you think over time prehaps it can change (I hate to use that word) a persons conceptual model of you? Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 1:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/8 "2008-01-19T13:20:33Z")
Tisha, My experience is that the most obvious behavioral effects are on people I just met or people who don’t already know me well. I think the effects occur on the people who know me well too. The difference is that the ones who know me have a large backlog of historical experience concerning who they think I am. It takes considerable new experience to shift that model. With a new person they have few past experiences of me and so they are just building their model of who I am. Spouses can be highly sensitive to pheromones. The first time I tried a product with copulins my wife had an unusual dream about me being with another woman. She told me about it in the morning. I immediately explained the copulin product I was testing. That relieved her subconscious anxiety. We have also noted ways that pheromones can spice up our lives together, as you have with your husband. I don’t want to discount that possibility. I just don’t want anyone to think their relationship with their spouse is going to do a 180 degree turn due to something they spray on their bodies. It is tempting to believe that after reading about the effects people get in bars, supermarkets, and other places where they are encountering people who don’t already know them well. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 1:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/9 "2008-01-19T13:29:09Z")
> [@](#): > > We have also noted other ways that then pheromones can spice up our lives together, as you have with your husband. I don’t want to discount that possibility. I just don’t want anyone to think their relationship with their spouse is going to do a 180 degree turn due to something they spray on their bodies. It is tempting to believe that after reading about the effects people get in bars, supermarkets, and other places where they are encountering people who don’t already know them well. Oh I totally agree, I find it enhances things sexually, aids in communication and eases tension at times but it dosnt solve things. Its a small part in overall improvement in a way. I was just wondering if you think the results are different because she is consious of the mones, you know what I mean… Like when we test sometimes its hard to get a take on something because your consious of it and looking for results but when you just set and forget reactions just seem to happen. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 1:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/10 "2008-01-19T13:46:02Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > I was just wondering if you think the results are different because she is consious of the pheromones, you know what I mean… Like when we test sometimes its hard to get a take on something because your consious of it and looking for results but when you just set and forget reactions just seem to happen. Interesting question. I’ve sprayed numerous products on her and tried to observe behavioral effects on myself. It’s very difficult and mostly I don’t observe anything convincing. Some of the more obviously sexual compounds like Androstenone, p75, etc I can notice effects, but more subtle products like Instant Sexiness I can’t. However, I am convinced that they work because of the reports I hear from the ladies on behavioral effects parallel the effects on others I observe when I wear pheromones. I think we all tend to have blind spots observing our own behaviors, and it is compounded when looking for a specific effect. Another difficulty observing effects with my spouse is that we are already deeply in love with each other, and sexually attracted to each other. That makes any pheromone effects difficult to sort out from our everyday relationship. I don’t usually tell her what I’m wearing. That helps to minimize her expectations. However, with copulins especially, she will often ask me if I’m wearing them. She seems to have an uncanny ability to pick up on those compounds in particular. Some pheromones she obviously likes. For instance, everytime I wear [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/) she comments on the good smell, and often gets a bit “protective” of me around other women. Those are my mental wanderings, and I still haven’t answered your question. Perhaps the best answer is “I don’t know.” ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/11 "2008-01-19T15:41:11Z")
Hello aussiabroad, Me again 🙂 Just wanted to let you know that I am helping out steveO with the GC’s while he is away and you qualify and will be receiving yours to your email addy in the next 24 to 48 hours. Have fun Tisha 😉 ---
**Author:** ![aussiabroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@aussiabroad](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/aussiabroad)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 9:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/12 "2008-01-20T09:41:36Z")
Hi Gone, I have to warn you that I have taken exception to your understanding of my motives in trying out pheromones within the confines of my marriage. I get the distinct impression that there is a measure of judgement to your reply that I have not seen in other postings by you or am I just the lucky one because I am honest enough to admit my motives to a forum? I didn’t see any comment from you on the particularly offensive (as I found it) thread from rtype6 on what to use on a taken girl - I won’t tell you how it churned my stomach to read some of the (especially) men’s comments on the nature of commitment and the respect of someone who is “taken”. Given my personal situation (that I disclosed from the very beginning) I found it troubling that there were only two people who responded to the guy’s motives. I also see no comments from you about the predatory nature of “dating” by many people. They refer to people as “targets” and responses as “hits”. No comment on the misogynistic use of language here!!! Sorry but did I miss the “morality clause” in the sign on?? So here is my rationale. I am an “upright lady with honorable objectives” - my goal is to return to a sense of peace and harmony in MY life and if that includes the man who is the father of my children and whom I have adored for twenty years and proclaims that he wants to be an active, loving participant in this process, I will take every advantage I can, including the use of products that may or may not effect the way I feel to help me to achieve a level of comfort discussing and dealing with profoundly difficult topics that I never imagined would arise in my previously comfortable little life. If I had the luxury that you have with your wife and had stumbled across this website a year ago perhaps I would be in a different position. Trust me when I say that I wish it were so every day. I realise that many will view my response as extreme but it is a concept that I have struggled with for a few months now but my decision is my own and your suggestion of “avoiding desperation, either in motivations or perceptions of motivations” is fine and I will take it on board. But may I suggest that you make exactly the same comment to all the other people who use the fora/forums requesting information on how to attract people beyond them. My understanding of the products I have chosen with the exception of one (which I don’t intend on using until life settles down more) is that the effects will be most profound on me, making me feel better about myself… I did also point out that I was concerned about the effects on my husband and children and that I was not interested in attracting anyone else or making anyone feel uncomfortable so I think I am being really rather “honourable” in all of this. Maybe in the future we will be able to experiment together but for now, I am doing this all just for me… and I can live with that. ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 1:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/always-the-anxious-new-girl/8434/13 "2008-01-20T13:34:49Z")
> [@aussiabroad](#): > > Hi Gone, > > I have to warn you that I have taken exception to your understanding of my motives in trying out pheromones within the confines of my marriage. I get the distinct impression that there is a measure of judgement to your reply … I extend my sincere apology for any hurt that came from my previous replies. I have been through a heart-wrenching situation similar to your own. It was the most traumatic experience in my life so far and I don’t expect anything, even my eventual death, to top it. I feel empathy for your situation. Again, I apologize for pain I unskillfully caused and I send my best wishes to you on whatever path you chose.