# Am i overthinking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 26, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577 "2010-11-26T23:30:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dmoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@dmoney](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dmoney)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/1 "2010-11-26T23:30:45Z")
I posted this on my journal but i would like as many inputs as possible. There is a girl in my class who seemed to respond well to [mones](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/) whenever i wore them around her. At this point i am pretty certain she has interest in me. i always catch her looking at me in class (our eyes always meet). Sometime i see her looking at me through my peripherals. I got her number and we talk in class every once (cant really talk too much its a math class) in a while and text each other occasionally. Yesterday on thanksgiving i sent a mass text saying happy thanksgiving in the morning. she texts me back 3 hours later and says happy thanksgiving. i ask her how her’s is going, and once again i dont get a reply for a while. She replies back like an hour or two later. she says its ok and asks how mine is going We text back and forth (this time she replies back within like 2-10 minutes). So i say fuck it and i decided to try and set something up. So i ask what shes doing next week. She says" going back to school haha" i jokingly tell her “oh really lol " . She replies back and then i tell her " we should hang out when you get back” she replies " hahah alright" i reply back “ok cool ill let you know when im free” After that i did not get a reply from her again. I am not the most patient person and normally if a girl does not reply to me within an hour i take it that she is not interested. I decided to break my rule this once because she gives me so many [IOI](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/) 's in class. i have not talked to her since my last reply So my questions are one what the heck is up with the long reply times? I know it was thanksgiving and she might have been busy but was she blowing me off or i am over thinking? and two what should my next step be? Should i text her again or wait? I need some input ASAP thanks in advance. ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/2 "2010-11-27T00:19:01Z")
> [@dmoney](#): > > I posted this on my journal but i would like as many inputs as possible. > > There is a girl in my class who seemed to respond well to [mones](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/) whenever i wore them around her. At this point i am pretty certain she has interest in me. i always catch her looking at me in class (our eyes always meet). Sometime i see her looking at me through my peripherals. I got her number and we talk in class every once (cant really talk too much its a math class) in a while and text each other occasionally. > > Yesterday on thanksgiving i sent a mass text saying happy thanksgiving in the morning. she texts me back 3 hours later and says happy thanksgiving. i ask her how her’s is going, and once again i dont get a reply for a while. She replies back like an hour or two later. she says its ok and asks how mine is going > > We text back and forth (this time she replies back within like 2-10 minutes). So i say fuck it and i decided to try and set something up. So i ask what shes doing next week. She says" going back to school haha" i jokingly tell her “oh really lol " . She replies back and then i tell her " we should hang out when you get back” she replies " hahah alright" > > i reply back “ok cool ill let you know when im free” > > After that i did not get a reply from her again. > > I am not the most patient person and normally if a girl does not reply to me within an hour i take it that she is not interested. I decided to break my rule this once because she gives me so many [IOI](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/) 's in class. i have not talked to her since my last reply > > So my questions are one what the heck is up with the long reply times? > I know it was thanksgiving and she might have been busy but was she blowing me off or i am over thinking? > > and two what should my next step be? Should i text her again or wait? > > I need some input ASAP thanks in advance. Be patient. It’s the holidays, people aren’t consistently on their phones. There really isn’t a set time formula for someone to respond to say they are interested. It just happens that way and texts are a terrible form of communication that way. If you wanna set something up, you CALL her and be like “let’s get (insert non threatening activity here) next week, when are you free” I’ll tell you that the bs of setting a firm time and date IME don’t work, the whole “let’s go out tuesday at 8” it’s easier for her to make an excuse or legitimately be busy, you just don’t know. This way you put the ball in her court and if she responds, great, if not, move on. Only make firm commitments and get compliance when you’ve already hung out a few times. She’s gotta be comfortable in that decision first time around. ---
**Author:** ![dmoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@dmoney](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dmoney)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/3 "2010-11-27T00:38:42Z")
thanks for the reply man. what you said makes sense. i was going to tell to come eat at this restaurant that ive been meaning to try with me, but now after what you said i think i should go for something more casual instead. We are in college so do you have an idea of a “non threatening activity?” I was thinking after calling her on monday and seeing if she wanted to meet up to work on our math homework which is due on tuesday. anyways let me know what you would do. your advice has been helpful so far ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/4 "2010-11-27T00:44:21Z")
> [@dmoney](#): > > thanks for the reply man. what you said makes sense. i was going to tell to come eat at this restaurant that ive been meaning to try with me, but now after what you said i think i should go for something more casual instead. We are in college so do you have an idea of a “non threatening activity?” > > I was thinking after calling her on monday and seeing if she wanted to meet up to work on our math homework which is due on tuesday. > > anyways let me know what you would do. your advice has been helpful so far Meeting up for your math hw might put you into that study buddy zone. Granted you can work that angle, but that’s just a lot harder. Ask her to coffee, that’s like the easier way to do it. Start small then work your way up. ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 2:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/5 "2010-11-27T02:20:20Z")
what do YOU do for fun, things you enjoy doing and would go out and do with your friends or even by yourself? Now go do THAT. The point of a date is not to go places you wouldn’t normally go or do things you wouldn’t normally do in order to impress her. You should do things YOU enjoy doing and bring her along. You want her to feel like you’re letting her see a part of you and your life. And since it’s stuff you normally do or enjoy doing anyway you avoid the “pressure” of a traditional date where she pretty much knows every dollar you spend is spent in the hopes of getting some. ---
**Author:** ![Deja\_Vu](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/deja_vu/32/256_2.png) [@Deja\_Vu](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Deja_Vu)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/6 "2010-11-27T05:03:55Z")
For me, I ALWAYS ask a girl her opinion about the latest movies that are coming out. If let’s say she say “Harry Potter! I wanna watch it!” then I got myself a date without me being too “needy”. It ALWAYS work for me when asking a girl out the first time. =) ---
**Author:** ![Reborn](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/reborn/32/1561_2.png) [@Reborn](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Reborn)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 9:36am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/7 "2010-11-27T09:36:09Z")
Avoid asking for her opinion on ideas for the date. Rule of thumb is, when setting up the date, you say 2 times that you’re busy for every time you’re free. “I’m busy Tuesday, and Wednesday I have a meeting, but Thursday I’m going to the club, do you wanna come with?” Edit: P51Mustang said, “Start small then work your way up.” Yus : ) You know how much fun you can have at Walmart? And you definitely can’t start smaller than that : ) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Sebastian](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/john_sebastian/32/1060_2.png) [@John\_Sebastian](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/John_Sebastian)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/8 "2010-11-27T15:50:21Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > what do YOU do for fun, things you enjoy doing and would go out and do with your friends or even by yourself? > > Now go do THAT. The point of a date is not to go places you wouldn’t normally go or do things you wouldn’t normally do in order to impress her. You should do things YOU enjoy doing and bring her along. You want her to feel like you’re letting her see a part of you and your life. And since it’s stuff you normally do or enjoy doing anyway you avoid the “pressure” of a traditional date where she pretty much knows every dollar you spend is spent in the hopes of getting some. I’d like to add to remember that Mustang said “non-threatening” so when Radman says things you like to do by yourself, I’d combine their advice. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dmoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@dmoney](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dmoney)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/9 "2010-11-28T23:15:11Z")
ok thanks for all the input guys. i think im gonna call her up tomorrow and see if shes free to go bowling. should i invite some other people as well? Also one of you said not to set an exact date. So tell her that we should go bowling and ask when shes free and let her pick a day? ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/10 "2010-11-28T23:49:48Z")
> [@dmoney](#): > > ok thanks for all the input guys. i think im gonna call her up tomorrow and see if shes free to go bowling. > > should i invite some other people as well? > > Also one of you said not to set an exact date. So tell her that we should go bowling and ask when shes free and let her pick a day? Are you inviting girls and guys mixed, that can be a two sided sword, she won’t feel like it’s a date, but it’s also going to seem you just want to hang out platonically as friends. If you go out with guys and girls, make sure they understand your intentions with her. Then you’re already fighting the current by making sure you trigger attraction with her is on point. If its just you two, you won’t have to work as hard because there isn’t a perceived notion that you just want her as a friend. It’s more relaxed on your side because there isn’t any pressure. My take, be a man ask her by yourself enjoy and relax with it. AND DONT ACT LIKE A FRIEND ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 8:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/11 "2010-11-29T08:27:33Z")
I gotta agree with P51 on this. If you want it to be a date, then clarify that. I’ve screwed up far too many times than I care to count getting myself caught up in a situation where I didn’t know what we were doing. Was it a date? Were we just friends hanging out? etc. ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 8:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/am-i-overthinking/43577/12 "2010-11-29T08:28:32Z")
oh and yeah you’re definitely over thinking things.