# An Older Gay Male Perspective **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [September 15, 2015, 3:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/an-older-gay-male-perspective/64949 "2015-09-15T15:45:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 44
**Author:** ![HankBuddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@HankBuddy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/HankBuddy)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/an-older-gay-male-perspective/64949/44 "2015-10-07T18:26:13Z")
**SITUATION:** Open mike at the bar for acoustic musicians. **PHEROMONE:** P96 (50 mcg/spray), single spray to neck I was curious about wearing this solo at an event I’ve never been to before. **OBSERVATION:** Lots of people and very crowded. I went by myself, and since it was my first time going to this event, I didn’t expect to see anyone I knew. I managed to find a chair near the stage next to a couple women (40s). I chatted with them, and our conversation was very smooth, friendly, and open. Nothing sexual, but it wasn’t forced like regular small talk. It was a very friendly chat about music, instruments we play, and such. We kept the conversation going until the event started. Between sets we chatted a bit more. During a break, I went to get something to drink. I ran into a guy I briefly dated a few months ago. Didn’t know he was going to be there! Our breakup was strained because he essentially bulldozed over my partner’s boundaries, which was a big no-no in my book, so I broke it off with him. Anyway, he seemed happy to see me, while I was apprehensive. We sat down near the bar and chatted for a while. The conversation was very warm and easy. He seemed like a different person, like he had more empathy. (When we dated, I felt that he didn’t have sufficient empathy.) It wasn’t anything he said per se, but it was mostly in his mannerism and tone of voice. Maybe he was feeling remorseful? As we chatted, I kept thinking, “Could I get it on with him again? Possibly.” We had a lot in common, and we had a reasonable amount of sexual energy between us. He was up next to perform on piano, so we exchanged contact info since I had already deleted him from my phone. I found another seat next to a younger woman (20s). We had a very pleasant chat. Like before, it was easy and friendly. Nothing sexual or forced about it. There was an equal exchange of questions that we asked each other. After another hour, I left the bar. The next day, I sent my friend an email saying I enjoyed seeing him at the bar. He responded with an equally warm message, stating he was glad to see that the communication between us is open again. He even admitted that disrespecting my partner’s boundaries was a mistake and that he had repeated that mistake with someone else recently. However, that situation was much worse. After a few more email exchanges, I came to my senses and decided I didn’t want to get it on with him again. He’ll make a good friend. Nothing more. **ASSESSMENT:** My experience with P96 seems consistent with other mone users. I experienced lots of warmth and friendliness when interacting with people. It’s not always easy for me to make small talk with strangers, but I had an easy time during the evening. The topic wasn’t strained small talk, like talking about the weather or other superficial topic. It was about things that mattered to us. Conversation flowed smoothly and openly. While at the bar, I also saw my friend in a new light, perhaps with a sense of compassion. I even thought about what it would be like to be dating him again. Maybe he’s a changed man. But the next day when the mone wore off, I came to my senses. I definitely don’t want to date him again. I’ll be glad to hang out with him as a friend, but not romantically or sexually. I just have to remember not to wear P96 around him. --- _[View the full topic](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/an-older-gay-male-perspective/64949)._