# Are You just a Friend? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [February 16, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883 "2011-02-16T20:42:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vega199](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eada6e/32.png) [@vega199](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vega199)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/1 "2011-02-16T20:42:07Z")
Hey guys. I was just curious if there is any way to tell if you are in the friends zone. I have been going out with this girl for a very short while now and taking things slow. We flirt a lot and I get a lot of hits off of her but I’m not sure if she see’s me as a potential boyfriend or just a friend. Could be she hasn’t made up her mind yet but I don’t know. So what do you guys think? ---
**Author:** ![vega199](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eada6e/32.png) [@vega199](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vega199)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/2 "2011-02-16T20:46:31Z")
Okay after posting this I realized this thread should really be in the lounge section. Sorry. Anyone know how to move it? ---
**Author:** ![Taibo](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/taibo/32/1396_2.png) [@Taibo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Taibo)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/3 "2011-02-16T21:09:14Z")
You’re probably in the friend zone. If you been hanging out with her for a while and you haven’t slept with her yet or touch her enough, then you are definitely in the friend zone. Move on to a new girl. ---
**Author:** ![vega199](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eada6e/32.png) [@vega199](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vega199)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/4 "2011-02-16T21:21:50Z")
> [@Taibo](#): > > You’re probably in the friend zone. If you been hanging out with her for a while and you haven’t slept with her yet or touch her enough, then you are definitely in the friend zone. Move on to a new girl. Yeah it’s been 2 weeks. You’ll excuse me if I’m not into having sex with them right off the bat and who says we aren’t touching? I do recall mentioning it’s been a very short while since we’ve been going out and we flirt a lot. ---
**Author:** ![1Alpha](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/1alpha/32/190_2.png) [@1Alpha](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/1Alpha)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/5 "2011-02-16T21:24:18Z")
ORRR… you could continue to be ‘friends’ while you continue your search for another close friend… really, depends on what you want to get out of the relationship… Not everyone is looking for some ‘action’… but you may be… I’m guessing that by your question and your intro post… ---
**Author:** ![vega199](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eada6e/32.png) [@vega199](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vega199)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/6 "2011-02-16T21:28:38Z")
> [@1Alpha](#): > > ORRR… you could continue to be ‘friends’ while you continue your search for another close friend… really, depends on what you want to get out of the relationship… > > Not everyone is looking for some ‘action’… but you may be… I’m guessing that by your question and your intro post… Well I would like a long term relationship not just a quick lay. ---
**Author:** ![THE\_GHOST](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/the_ghost/32/1990_2.png) [@THE\_GHOST](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/THE_GHOST)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/7 "2011-02-16T21:58:33Z")
> [@vega199](#): > > Hey guys. I was just curious if there is any way to tell if you are in the friends zone. I have been going out with this girl for a very short while now and taking things slow. We flirt a lot and I get a lot of hits off of her but I’m not sure if she see’s me as a potential boyfriend or just a friend. Could be she hasn’t made up her mind yet but I don’t know. So what do you guys think? When you say “going out” do you mean your just hanging out with her or have you kissed her yet? If you hav’nt locked lips yet the Only way to know for sure if your in the friend zone is make a move, if she resists, you are in the zone. ---
**Author:** ![vega199](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eada6e/32.png) [@vega199](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vega199)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/8 "2011-02-16T22:12:32Z")
> [@THE\_GHOST](#): > > When you say “going out” do you mean your just hanging out with her or have you kissed her yet? If you hav’nt locked lips yet the Only way to know for sure if your in the friend zone is make a move, if she resists, you are in the zone. We have not kissed. ---
**Author:** ![THE\_GHOST](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/the_ghost/32/1990_2.png) [@THE\_GHOST](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/THE_GHOST)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/9 "2011-02-16T22:29:30Z")
> [@vega199](#): > > We have not kissed. I am not an expert on relationships or any kind of PUA, but the advise I would give you without knowing the whole situation is to make your feelings known as soon as possible, the worst that can happen is you carry on being friends, on the other hand if she accepts you could have a nice shiney new GF 😉 All I know is the longer you leave it the more chance of you being zoned. Best of luck to you 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/10 "2011-02-16T22:42:27Z")
> [@](#): > > We have not kissed. OK you cleared that up but where are you “going out” ? Are they actual dates or are you just hanging out together in places you both frequent ? Its not a big deal if you slept with her or not just yet. What will make a difference is the going out thing. 1. If your just hanging out in places you both frequent, catching a bite to eat together, meeting up where all the gang hangs out. Spending time with groups of friends when your together. You dont show up with her and you dont leave with her then your in the friends zone. 2. If you are actually going “out on a date” meaning your going together, your spending all your time there together, your focused on each other there, you leave together and you drop her at her door when your done that is a date. Sure once in a while you may hang out with others like going to a party but your together when your there focused on each other. The first is more friends the second is potential LTR. Now you can move into the friend zone if you keep doing number 2 and you dont kiss her good night at least. I dont mean your polite peck or kiss on the cheek. The real kiss is a clear signal your looking for something more then just friends even if your not looking to sleep with her yet. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Taibo](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/taibo/32/1396_2.png) [@Taibo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Taibo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/11 "2011-02-17T00:20:28Z")
> [@vega199](#): > > Well I would like a long term relationship not just a quick lay. Many men try to befriend a woman in order to “work on her” for a while in hopes that she’ll become interested in him later. I call this the “befriend-and-date” strategy. The idea that this approach works is one of the most commonly misconception for men. If she see’s you as a friend, why would she want to be in a long-term relationship with you? You haven’t even kissed her yet. I know this for a fact because I have a friend that is saying the same thing you’re saying and he never gets the girl. I know this is not the answer you want to hear but I’m just laying it out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/are-you-just-a-friend/48883/12 "2011-02-17T15:58:56Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > OK you cleared that up but where are you “going out” ? Are they actual dates or are you just hanging out together in places you both frequent ? > > Its not a big deal if you slept with her or not just yet. What will make a difference is the going out thing. Agreed! I’ve been attracted to lots of guys that I have not slept with, including male friends. I’ve also had sexual fantasies about men I havent kissed with, so there is no hard and fast rule. I’m not the type to wear my heart on my sleeve but I definitely have intense feelings. As long as the interaction is somewhat flirtatious, seductive and romantic, it is perfectly fine to go slowly. What closes the door to romantic potential is not the duration of the friendship, but the lack of attraction over time. This can happen when the guy is physically unattractive; for example a bodysmell that repulses ever so slightly, awkward bodylanguage, too old. Another cause may be the lack of mystery; a guy complains too much, shares coarse stories or tells his whole life story too early. A third attractionkiller can be a lack of ease with his masculinity. A passion contained can be enticing, suppressed sexually not so. If you try too hard to be a woman’s girlfriend, you destroy the polarity and therefore the attraction. Men who have female friends and then succesfully romance them do not make these mistakes. It is not impossible to cause attraction in a circle of friends, but it is much more easily done when you are alone together. It also helps to meet in interesting, exiting situations rather than boring ones. If you read the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, you will see that most of the historical masters of seduction did not work fast. They slowly delved their claws deeply into their victims before consummating the seduction. Most of them also worked indirectly, concealing their intentions. They tailored their campaign to the victim they had chosen. Fast seduction is in vogue today with those who prefer instant gratification. They tend to have a more or less fixed, mass produced model and select victims that are suited for that script.