# Automatic Attraction Triggers Poll **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [February 5, 2008, 8:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829 "2008-02-05T08:06:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![GetTheEdge](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gettheedge/32/1555_2.png) [@GetTheEdge](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/GetTheEdge)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 8:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/81 "2011-11-07T08:56:33Z")
> [@delocc](#): > > His intelligence, is my other option. We should make a poll like this in the guy section.. it might be abit predictable tho lol ---
**Author:** ![theglitterelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@theglitterelf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/theglitterelf)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/82 "2011-11-16T17:00:58Z")
In general, I think most if not all of these qualities factor into everyone’s attraction. For me the top that I picked were: -The way he looks at you -Eye color and gaze -Voice tonality and strength -Smell The way a guy looks at you where it just melts you into a complete puddle on the ground is amazing. I suppose eye color and gaze fit into this as well. If he has beautiful eyes and he holds his gaze and looks at you with admiration or general intensity, it just beautiful. Unfortunately, this only seems to work if you like the guy back because otherwise it might just comes across as creepy. But if a guy I’m into gives me that look, I’m pretty much gone into happyland. It’s effective hahah. I also love a guy with a great voice, it doesn’t necessarily have to be deep, but just a wonderful sounding voice. I do really enjoy deep voices though haha. And if this wonderful voice comes with great conversation = WIN! Smell, guys, you gotta smell nice! Even if he has no prodcuts on and he just has a great natural smell mmm 🙂 Also, I believe tisha I think stated that she liked guys with big hands, I do too! They don’t necessarily have to be giant or whatever, but just nice, solid guy hands that make me feel safe \<3 These being all relatively physical things…as someone else stated if I see a guy act in an especially kind way or in some other way I like I can be very attracted to him right off due by personality. ---
**Author:** ![WalrusGumBoot](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/walrusgumboot/32/1300_2.png) [@WalrusGumBoot](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WalrusGumBoot)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/83 "2011-11-22T20:53:13Z")
This was a shock poll to me! 😮 “The way he looks at me” is the leader. You know there are ZERO online courses for men on how to pick up women by looking at them a certain way. 😃 There are only a few women that expounded on this look, but inquiring men’s minds want/need to know, What defines a look that melts you versus the ones that creep you out? I will go one step further. Is it the fact that he is looking at you in a certain way despite of his other characteristics, or does his characteristics (attractiveness, height, build, hair style, smell) accentuate the effects of that look? \*\*\* I think theglitterelf posted just seconds before I did. She explains it a little bit (she is into him as well). Looking forward to other responses. I heard kind of a pouty Colin Farrel/David Duchovny look is considered sexy these days, but those guys aren’t ugly. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/84 "2011-11-23T02:18:23Z")
> [@WalrusGumBoot](#): > > This was a shock poll to me! 😮 > > “The way he looks at me” is the leader. > > You know there are ZERO online courses for men on how to pick up women by looking at them a certain way. 😃 > > **There are only a few women that expounded on this look, but inquiring men’s minds want/need to know,** > > **What defines a look that melts you versus the ones that creep you out?** > > I will go one step further. > > Is it the fact that he is looking at you in a certain way despite of his other characteristics, or does his characteristics (attractiveness, height, build, hair style, smell) accentuate the effects of that look? > > \*\*\* I think theglitterelf posted just seconds before I did. She explains it a little bit (she is into him as well). Looking forward to other responses. > > I heard kind of a pouty Colin Farrel/David Duchovny look is considered sexy these days, but those guys aren’t ugly. I descibed it in post 12 of this thread … > [@EPIC WTF - The object of my affection tells other women that I'm GAY](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/epic-wtf-the-object-of-my-affection-tells-other-women-that-im-gay/48997): > > Wow. It’s taken me two years to figure out wtf has been going on with this woman and I’m still a little bewildered. She sometimes “swoons” when she sees me, I’ve overheard her discussing my looks with a physician (“He’s handsome”), she is constantly asking other people their opinion of me. All along I’ve thought that she was obviously attracted but confounded about why she is constantly asking people what they thought of me. A few months ago I had a strong suspicion that she had purposefully int… Tish ---
**Author:** ![WalrusGumBoot](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/walrusgumboot/32/1300_2.png) [@WalrusGumBoot](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WalrusGumBoot)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/85 "2011-11-23T02:44:40Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > I descibed it in post 12 of this thread … > > [EPIC WTF - The object of my affection tells other women that I'm GAY](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/epic-wtf-the-object-of-my-affection-tells-other-women-that-im-gay/48997) > > Tish Hey Tish, Damn. I don’t know what to say.That was a great post. What I read here on this thread. The big, protective hands. The big.. well… let’s not go there (but I will if you insist 😃). I’m a large dude. Really above average in just about every area… physically. If you read my intro, you know I am divorcing a woman who hates men being men. She verbally said she likes to emotionally castrate them. She is really good at that, no doubt about it. So that post about portraying I am gay hits hard, but in a good way. I am so in love with the female species on so many different levels :o I think my lack is closing the deal… lacking that confidence to letting them know that I am attracted to them. Why is it the one period of my life that I wanted to “get even” with women after a horrendous breakup with a women that I would give anything to keep, ended up with me being pursued by multiple women at once? I was such a jack ass to all women. I even met my current soon-to-be-ex-wife in that situation. Maybe it’s that IJ effect. I am not the naive guy I once was. I hope the next 23 years make up for the prior. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![WalrusGumBoot](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/walrusgumboot/32/1300_2.png) [@WalrusGumBoot](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WalrusGumBoot)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/86 "2011-11-23T14:21:01Z")
All the “traditional” qualities that men strove for in past generations score really low: social status, wealth, big muscles, leadership ability. What a wake up call! Thanks ladies for the insight. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![classicalflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@classicalflower](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/classicalflower)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/87 "2011-11-26T20:49:37Z")
I also voted for ‘the way he looks at you’. Not sure if i’ll be able to explain my reason for this…but i’ll do my best! Have you ever met someone who eyes genuinely light up when they see you…they smile with their eyes…melts my heart EVERY SINGLE TIME! Some guys just have the ability to see the REAL you - they see past the clothes, the image etc. Some guys see the best in you and expect the best of you - and you can see it in their eyes and they way they look at you. Smell runs a close second for me! ---
**Author:** ![dePlume](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/deplume/32/181_2.png) [@dePlume](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dePlume)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/88 "2011-11-26T21:33:08Z")
Lighting up is a perfect way to put it. A look that says “I’m in love with you in a healthy way, your very presence is capable of making me happy and forgetting all worldly worries, I could have piranha gnawing on my ankles right now and I wouldn’t notice.” ---
**Author:** ![classicalflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@classicalflower](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/classicalflower)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/89 "2011-11-26T21:47:54Z")
> [@dePlume](#): > > Lighting up is a perfect way to put it. A look that says “I’m in love with you in a healthy way, your very presence is capable of making me happy and forgetting all worldly worries, I could have piranha gnawing on my ankles right now and I wouldn’t notice.” Exactly! 🙂 A guy that can look at you and make everything seem just a little bit better! ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/90 "2011-11-26T22:35:02Z")
> [@](#): > > If you read my intro, you know I am divorcing a woman who hates men being men. She verbally said she likes to emotionally castrate them. She is really good at that, no doubt about it. She hates men being men because she can not see her own strength. Its her lack of confidence in herself as a women that blinds her. Some women think the only way to “channel” that strength is by trying to bring down others strengths, even in the opposite sex. But truthfully in doing this it really shows her weakness. Strength between women and men is different but what one lacks the other usually is ample in and thats the way nature intended it so that we pair bond. We should be able to celebrate and respect our differences in relationships She couldnt do that simply because she saw her difference as a weakness not a strength. Her treatment of men is about her not about you or men. > [@](#): > > Why is it the one period of my life that I wanted to “get even” with women after a horrendous breakup with a women that I would give anything to keep, ended up with me being pursued by multiple women at once? Probably because your lack of caring in the outcome helped you convey a sense of confidence and self assurance. OH and getting even with all women for anothers weakness is like killing the cat because the dog bit you. It doesnt make sense and the dog will probably bite you again. 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Gingiber\_Pardus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@Gingiber\_Pardus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gingiber_Pardus)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/91 "2011-11-27T04:59:29Z")
Here is my confession: Height, muscle tonality and…yes I choose wealth 🙂 I’m tall for a girl and us tall English chicks are blighted with short ass men. The height thing stems from wanting to be protected on a subconscious level I think. Plus who wants to gaze adoringly at the top of their thinning crown? Muscle tonality: I work out. I appreciate self care in others’ The arms being of particular importance. And so to the confession: Wealth. I have a great career, own house etc and by wealth I mean a guy who equals that financially. I don’t want to be a kept woman, but either do I want to keep him! ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/92 "2011-11-27T14:42:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Wealth. I have a great career, own house etc and by wealth I mean a guy who equals that financially. I don’t want to be a kept woman, but either do I want to keep him! I understand wealth being part of the equation. Just like men dont want a gold digger women dont want one either. We want a partnership that matches. So its not a bad thing to look at as long as its not what your measuring the man by. The measure of a mans current wealth is not a measure of his potential and willingness to acquire wealth and I think thats far more important then his actual net worth. If a guys character points to honest, hard working, forward moving, focused driven, contributor then you know that even if his financial value doesn’t match your own he could still be a good partner if of course all the other attraction triggers exist. Most people dont start our with wealth they acquire it as they grow. I think a lot of women miss out on some great partners because they look at the bottom line instead of his potential. Case in point… My niece was dating a great guy. He’s cute, smart, built well and there values matched well. However he was always broke. He certainly wasn’t lazy or undriven though. He just didnt find his niche yet. They went out two years and she broke up with him because she had a great job and he didnt at the time and she said the same thing. “I love him but I dont want to carry him.” We all warned her that in partnerships there are times when you carry each other and times when your standing on equal ground but she had nice things and wanted more nice things and we warned her not to make this decision on his current wealth Well she didnt listen and now he owns three very successful restaurants in our area. He is very wealthy and has a wife and two kids. My niece went on to date a new guy who had money. Nice car, nice apartment, great job however when the recession hit he got laid off and now he plays Xbox all day at her place. You could see it in his character before. He got lucky with that first job and he had money but that doesn’t mean he has the potential to make more money. Ask any rich person how they define success and they will never tell you its measured in current wealth. Money comes and gos. Its the potential to acquire wealth when needed that defines success. Bet a lot of women are kicking themselves in the head over rejecting Bill Gates when he was 20. LOL Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Gingiber\_Pardus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@Gingiber\_Pardus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gingiber_Pardus)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/93 "2011-11-27T15:08:37Z")
Quite agree Tisha. If I was in a partnership then the natural financial roller coaster of life wouldn’t be a problem. But as a woman looking to date, there have to be some limits. It’s not so much wealth but more comfortable. I went on a date recently when the guy said he’s run out of money after a £7.50 meal and a bottle of beer WTF? If I had to choose attributes in a man, I would tend to veer towards characteristics like loyalty, honesty, emotional intelligence, sense of fun and adventure and of course height 😉 I wonder if the financial security is a maturity thing too, before I was financially independent I dated a couple of guys who earnt significantly less than me. It is not **THE** most important thing, but does factor in I guess. ---
**Author:** ![WalrusGumBoot](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/walrusgumboot/32/1300_2.png) [@WalrusGumBoot](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WalrusGumBoot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/94 "2011-11-27T17:11:47Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > She hates men being men because she can not see her own strength. Its her lack of confidence in herself as a women that blinds her. Some women think the only way to “channel” that strength is by trying to bring down others strengths, even in the opposite sex. But truthfully in doing this it really shows her weakness. Tisha, I have to admit that in the short time being on this forum, that it is difficult for me to think of somebody that has a greater understanding of human relationships and psychology that you. I really enjoy your posts! 🙂 But just for the record, my soon to be ex-wife has borderline personality disorder. I can’t save her and she refuses to seek help and is in deep denial. Your insight above is completely accurate. It was not my intention to hijack this thread or make it go off-topic, so I apologize for that. ---
**Author:** ![dePlume](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/deplume/32/181_2.png) [@dePlume](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dePlume)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/95 "2011-11-27T20:45:35Z")
> [@](#): > > I think a lot of women miss out on some great partners because they look at the bottom line instead of his potential. The reverse is true as well: many people accept a not-so-good partner because of what they see as the partner’s potential rather than the reality (lacks something important that will prevent them from achieving that potential). After a certain amount of disappointment many stop looking at potential and focus on “now”. ---
**Author:** ![Sarafina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Sarafina](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sarafina)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/96 "2011-12-10T17:27:27Z")
> [@](#): > > My niece was dating a great guy. He’s cute, smart, built well and there values matched well. However he was always broke. He certainly wasn’t lazy or undriven though. He just didnt find his niche yet. They went out two years and she broke up with him because she had a great job and he didnt at the time and she said the same thing. “I love him but I dont want to carry him.” We all warned her that in partnerships there are times when you carry each other and times when your standing on equal ground but she had nice things and wanted more nice things and we warned her not to make this decision on his current wealth Maybe she feared that while she cvarried him, once he found his niche he would leave for someone else due to his “newly found status”..which men have been known to do. personally cant do with a dude that is always broke. if he’s working towards something and I SEE him putting effort, maybe but even then I’d be very observant/maybe even date others. unlike men we dont havre time to waste on “maybe things will get better 10 years from now” hopefully she wakes up and kicks Xbox dude out and im sure she will find someone else worthy. I’d like to believe the “one who got away” wasnt her last chance ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/97 "2011-12-11T00:02:35Z")
> [@Sarafina](#): > > Maybe she feared that while she cvarried him, once he found his niche he would leave for someone else due to his **“newly found status”..which men have been known to do.** > > personally cant do with a dude that is always broke. if he’s working towards something and I SEE him putting effort, maybe but even then I’d be very observant/maybe even date others. unlike men we dont havre time to waste on “maybe things will get better 10 years from now” > > hopefully she wakes up and kicks Xbox dude out and im sure she will find someone else worthy. I’d like to believe the “one who got away” wasnt her last chance Been in that position myself. All the “I appreciate all you’ve done for me’s” in the world don’t make up for the abandonment when things finally come together for them. I think once she wakes up and kicks out XBox Boy, she’ll be ok. Just needs a little support to get the view that she deserves a guy who meets her needs - her type of guy. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 8:34am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/98 "2011-12-11T08:34:10Z")
> [@Astrea](#): > > Been in that position myself. All the “I appreciate all you’ve done for me’s” in the world don’t make up for the abandonment when things finally come together for them. I think once she wakes up and kicks out XBox Boy, she’ll be ok. Just needs a little support to get the view that she deserves a guy who meets her needs - her type of guy. Well since that post things have occurred. She did wake up. My brother (her father) ended up kicking his ass to the curb. Apparently he wouldn’t leave without a large influence. LOL She is a smart and beautiful girl though and I am sure she will find someone with more balance. > [@](#): > > Maybe she feared that while she cvarried him, once he found his niche he would leave for someone else due to his “newly found status”..which men have been known to do. I cant say if the first guy would or would not have abandoned her once he was successful. It wasn’t in his character but life doesn’t comes with guarantees and if you wait on that guarantee you will be waiting forever. Could have been fear. However in our family the big motto is fear means **F** alse **E** xpectations **A** ppearing **R** eal. Fear is only useful when your in true danger. Like the moment you realize he is abandoning you. Felt before danger is present its just an illusion of your own making and it just gets in the way. It prevents you from moving forward and from happiness. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![cjw255](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cjw255](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/cjw255)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/99 "2012-07-29T16:03:36Z")
I don’t consider myself the best looking guy at the moment at my current weight, but I can definitely vouche for girls liking how a man looks at them. I always try to look at a girls eyes… strike that…I try to look through her eyes and a lot of times girls seem to love that they catch me looking at their eyes and not somewhere else. “Eyes are the doorway to the soul” ---
**Author:** ![FHgirl1115](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/fhgirl1115/32/1245_2.png) [@FHgirl1115](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/FHgirl1115)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829/100 "2012-10-07T16:22:22Z")
Personality is the defining factor for me, you could be perfect but if you’re a jerk and you think you’re too good, you might as well be the ugliest thing in the world. The things that catch my attention right off though are height, physical shape, and style. The usual superficial things that catch your attention. If your shorter than me, I really can’t see us being anything more than friends. Yes, it is sad how that works but attraction is attraction, you know. Something that is also a really huge turn on is how other guys respond to this guy. I like when guys are leaders and take control of situations. Its something you normally see in more mature guy, rather than some young immature guy. Self-control is great, I’ve seen many guys get pissed off easily and cause a scene and its a HUUGEE turn off. When other guys flock to a guy you can tell they are the alpha, which is so super sexy too. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829.md?page=4) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/automatic-attraction-triggers-poll/189829.md?page=6)