# balanced personality **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 4, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703 "2011-04-04T14:38:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ggrigo33](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ggrigo33/32/799_2.png) [@ggrigo33](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ggrigo33)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/1 "2011-04-04T14:38:34Z")
can you use mones to balance out your personality? for example if you are very authoritative, and people perceive you as unapproachable, by using mones can you balance it out and create a friendly vibe? for example i usually come across as a friendly person, open and easy to get along with, rarely people perceive me as authoritative or dominant. so for example by using A314 or IG will i be able to create that vibe? ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/2 "2011-04-04T16:58:38Z")
> [@ggrigo33](#): > > can you use mones to balance out your personality? for example if you are very authoritative, and people perceive you as unapproachable, by using mones can you balance it out and create a friendly vibe? > > for example i usually come across as a friendly person, open and easy to get along with, rarely people perceive me as authoritative or dominant. > > so for example by using A314 or IG will i be able to create that vibe? Simple answer is yes. But the moment you become incongruent with it, people will disregard you. A314 and even IG are some effective and powerful products, these go well in conjunction with self and personal development. You’d be surprised at how far you can go with these products. ---
**Author:** ![ggrigo33](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ggrigo33/32/799_2.png) [@ggrigo33](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ggrigo33)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/3 "2011-04-04T17:07:16Z")
hmm how you become congruent? I know everybody keep talking about but if a behavior that should be associated with a specific mone is not typical for that person how they can become more congruent? ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/4 "2011-04-04T17:23:00Z")
> [@ggrigo33](#): > > hmm how you become congruent? I know everybody keep talking about but if a behavior that should be associated with a specific mone is not typical for that person how they can become more congruent? I read, Awaken a Giant Within by tony robbins Others can prolly chime in on what they’ve used ---
**Author:** ![ggrigo33](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ggrigo33/32/799_2.png) [@ggrigo33](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ggrigo33)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/5 "2011-04-04T22:45:37Z")
cool, thanks 🙂 what other things i can read that can helpe me on my journey to become more alpha? ---
**Author:** ![ggrigo33](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ggrigo33/32/799_2.png) [@ggrigo33](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ggrigo33)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/6 "2011-04-05T03:56:23Z")
i think there should be a section on congruency, everybody talk about but nobody say how to achieve it. I mean what behaviors should be assoicated with certain pheroes. For example when person is wearing IG what he should and should not do to in order to stay congruent with that chemical signal. I think it would be an important thread, dedicated to different products (mainly consumer) and suggestions, references to books, other materials that should help someone develop congruency. ---
**Author:** ![little](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@little](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/little)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 7:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/7 "2011-04-05T07:27:19Z")
> [@ggrigo33](#): > > i think there should be a section on congruency, everybody talk about but nobody say how to achieve it. I mean what behaviors should be assoicated with certain pheroes. For example when person is wearing IG what he should and should not do to in order to stay congruent with that chemical signal. > > I think it would be an important thread, dedicated to different products (mainly consumer) and suggestions, references to books, other materials that should help someone develop congruency. I agree and think that thread will definitely help alot of people. Say if you are always a “doormat” and all of a sudden you are trying to act in accordance to your mones e.g IG or A314… Everyone might think is he in a bad mood or what, he is not doing what he is told! ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 9:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/8 "2011-04-05T09:05:36Z")
Hi, ggrigo. Here’s the long answer. 😃 Pheromones are signals you emit (send out) that are received by others. Everyone naturally produces pheromones. In our germ phobic society most of us wash them off, as a matter of course, everyday. However, we have the edge of knowing we can apply [synthetic pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) to enhance us/the pheromones we naturally produce. These pheromonal signals don’t just effect your intended targets/people you want to influence but also anyone else who’s exposed to and in the vicinity of your pherocloud. In other words, pheromones are indiscriminant and you don’t have a choice as to whom is effected. Pheromones are very subjective as to self effects and effects on others. It varies from person to person and has to do with a number of things like personal chemistry, age, cultural/social influences, the circumstances you’re in, etc. That’s why often instead of getting the response you wanted/expected from the blond hottie you targeted, you find that it’s her brunette winggirl who’s been positively effected and is the one who’s giving you mad IOI’s and instigating kino. That’s the way it happens sometimes and there’s no controlling it. If you apply a dominant/masculine/charismatic formula like A314 and want to be perceived by others _as_ that image, you need to _be_ that image and “act” the part in order to match the signal you’re sending. That is congruence. In truth you must _be_ the vibe you project or people are confused by the signal you’re sending and you most likely won’t get the response you’re looking for or you’ll “ghost” and be ignored. So it’s important you act accordingly and in relationship to the signals you’re sending. Projecting an alpha vibe means you must carry the presence/attitude/aura of a leader. You want people to be attracted/receptive to you, so it’s important not to appear so intimidating to the point that you’re unapproachable. If you’re wearing A314 and already on the intimidating side, that means you need to add the proper social pheromones to balance it out. Here’s an example of what we’re talking about when we refer to “congruence”. You can’t smell him on the screen, of course, but I think you’ll get what I’m trying to point out here. Do you really think Jake Gyllenhaal _is_ Prince of Persia? Of course not, we know he isn’t. Yet, after a few minutes of watching him swash and buckle across the screen, I’m buyin’ it. He was good enough at projecting the essence of the character he was portraying for me to … “suspend my disbelief”… as to who he is IRL. Through his words/appearance/attitude/actions on the screen, he made it work. Therefore, for all intents and purposes, my disbelief was successfully suspended. I bought it. He was no longer Jake Gyllenhaal, he _was_ Prince of Persia. It’s gotta be the total package. If he only _looked_ the part but didn’t _act_ it, he wouldn’t have been believable. 😉 > **[Access: Entertainment News, Celebrity, TV, Music & Movie Videos](https://www.accessonline.com/)** > > Access delivers the best in entertainment and celebrity news with unparalleled video coverage of the hottest names in Hollywood, movies, TV, music and pop culture ![](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/7/7342f4ef9f18c2a80f7788cc4307858353c5c341.jpeg) However, Tom Cruse as the vampire Lestat? Noooo, not by a long stretch. Sorry. That doesn’t mean he’s not a good actor, it just mean he wasn’t good enough to sell himself to me in that particular role. No hit from me. Once again, it’s subjective. He cashed in big with others who just loved him as Lestat, I’m sure. So, while it was T.C.'s intention to project that image to everyone, he didn’t make it in my case. He wasn’t a hit with me. No sale. Try as he did Tommy boy just couldn’t cut it. Unbelievable from my perception. So, as far as I’m concerned, he wasn’t successful and failed with the image he trying to project. And if being an authoritative/dominant/charismatic leader ain’t you, then you need to find ways to gain/accumulate that confidence with the right tools to help you. Mustang has suggested a book that might help and there’s also other material you can seek out. This forum has some of those tools. Pheromones _are_ tools and when used correctly can give you an advantage in many situations. Saying just to be more confident isn’t a lot of help. It’s not easy to “just do it” if the behavior doesn’t come naturally. So you have to work at it and it _is_ work, because it doesn’t come naturally and you have to make an effort to do something that takes you outta your comfort zone. That’s OK, it ain’t easy…baby steps. It’s a process like anything else. You need to get your butt in the game and practice in order to get better at it and eventually achieve your goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day. If that behavior doesn’t come naturally, then you need to “act” the part and incorporating pheromones is only part of the equation. It takes a little patience and some time but you gotta saddle up and ride or you’ll never figure it out for yourself. When you fall, dust yourself off and remount! We already have a sticky thread on congruence in the Pheromone Theory forum. 😉 Here’s what members of the forum have to say on the subject. 🙂 [https://pheromonetalk.com/t/congruence-whats-that/9805](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/congruence-whats-that/9805) Also please check out the Studies & Abstracts forum, you’ll find many articles. [https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-pheromones-can-do-and-what-they-cant-updated/27326](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-pheromones-can-do-and-what-they-cant-updated/27326) Take some time to read the sticky threads at the top of the men’s forum. A lot of your questions can be answered there. [http://www.pheromonetalk.com/mens-pheromone-advice-tricks-tips/](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/mens-pheromone-advice-tricks-tips/) Bella ---
**Author:** ![data4](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/data4/32/272_2.png) [@data4](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/data4)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 10:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/9 "2011-04-05T10:00:18Z")
Bella really hit it on the nose. The truth of the matter is that [pheromones](https://a314.com/) aren’t going to make you something you’re not. Consider it one part of a personal growth regimen. If you dig deep into the forums here, you’ll find threads seeking and giving advice on everything from fashion to fragrance, and ways to improve one’s self in more psychological ways. There are some here who are into and study Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), for example, to find ways to relate better with people. You’d find discussions on game, which despite some of the silliness involved with the pick-up artist scene, contains some diamonds of truth in regard to male/female relations. Pheromones are a great tool, but any master craftsman will tell you that it takes more than one tool to get the job done. The best thing to do is to keep doing what you did in this thread. Seek the advice of the many. There will be good advice and not so good advice. Figuring out which is which is all part of the learning process. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 10:33am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/10 "2011-04-05T10:33:22Z")
Bella gave a awesome explanation there. I especially like the visual presentation part 😃 Dang that boy has come a long way from his Brokeback Mountain days. We may have to stoke up the fire Bella and fly to fetch us a Prince. 😉 Its really very simple though. You dont need to act totally different just dont act in opposition to the vibe. If you wearing A314 but hide in the corner like a Nancy boy and not make eye contact or approach and lead its not gonna work for you. If you use Ishine and you are a mean prick its not gonna work for you. Smile, make eye contact, show a little kindness. If your wearing IO but you wont talk to anyone when they approach it wont work for you. Its really just that simple. You dont have to dress up like the Prince or Persia unless you want to and if you do give me and Bella a call we will be right over 😃 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![little](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@little](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/little)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 11:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/11 "2011-04-05T11:03:17Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > Bella gave a awesome explanation there. I especially like the visual presentation part 😃 Dang that boy has come a long way from his Brokeback Mountain days. We may have to stoke up the fire Bella and fly to fetch us a Prince. 😉 > > Its really very simple though. You dont need to act totally different just dont act in opposition to the vibe. > > If you wearing A314 but hide in the corner like a Nancy boy and not make eye contact or approach and lead its not gonna work for you. > > If you use Ishine and you are a mean prick its not gonna work for you. Smile, make eye contact, show a little kindness. > > If your wearing IO but you wont talk to anyone when they approach it wont work for you. > > Its really just that simple. You dont have to dress up like the Prince or Persia unless you want to and if you do give me and Bella a call we will be right over 😃 > > Tisha You are so funny 😃 But I like your simple rules of thumb, I can only handle simple things… ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/12 "2011-04-05T14:40:49Z")
> [@Book Recommendations](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/book-recommendations/42337/14): > > Some important books that have really changed me and my outlook: > The Four Agreements > Way of The Superior Man > The Power of Now > A New Earth another Eckhart Tolle book > The 50th Law > The War of Art..yes The War of Art and not The Art of War. > I’ll add to the list as I recall others. I’m an avid book reader. > > Authors to look out for that you can pretty much purchase anything they write and get something out of it. > John C. Maxwell > David Deida > Eckhart Tolle > [@Steve](#): > > Science of Getting Rich: Wallace Wattles > Psycho-Cybernetics: Maxwell Maltz > Think and Grow Rich: Napoleon Hill > 7 Habbits of Highly Effective People: Steven Covey > 4 Hour Work Week: Tim Ferris > Brain Droppings: George Carlin > Miriam Webster Dictionary > Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: T Harv Eker > Influence - The Psychology of Persuasion: Robert Cialdini > TranceFormations: Richard Bandler > Frogs into Princes: Richard Bandler > Using Your Brain For a Change: Richard Bandler > Get the Life You Want: Richard Bandler > The February Man: Milton Ericson > The Art of War: Sun Tzu > Subliminal Persuasion: Dave Lakhani > Every Word Has Power: Yvonne Oswald > Cirque Du Soleil The Spark : John Bacon > Influencer The Power to Change Anything: Kerry Patterson +4 others > Radical Honesty: Brad Blanton > > There are countless others on PUA stuff, but many are simply rehashed and written in such a way to funnel you to buy more. I’ve also avoided any titles that I think others have already mentioned. I pretty much read a book every three to four days. I am currently reading Lift - again for second time, and I’m also reading “Will” by G Gordon Liddy, which is actually pretty darn funny. > > My all time favorite books would be: > To Kill A Mockingbird: Harper Lee > Fear: L Ron Hubbard (This is not a scientology book. This is an incredibly scary book) > > Stay interesting and don’t just read about self help. My suggestion is to read everything and anything that keeps you happy in life. > [@RADMAN513](#): > > The Alpha Male Bookshelf (A RAD Compendium) > Alpha Male Challenge by James Villepigue and Rick Collins (good fitness program coupled with some character development exercises) > Any Leadership Books by John C Maxwell > Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants by Elliot Katz > Hold on to Your NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men by Wayne M Levine > Living the Martial Way by Forrest E Morgan > No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A Glover > The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy J. Paterson Ph.D. > Way of the Superior Man by David Deida > > And if you really want to capitalize on the sophisticated vibe of James Bond (who inspired A314 according to MHarris) or the Most Interesting Man in the World from the Dos Equis ad campaign (who I believe is a TOTAL A314 man) then perhaps a nice survey course in some sophistication. > Any beginner level books on Blues, Jazz, Classical, Opera, And Ballet would be a good start. (don’t be embarrassed to try the “for dummies” versions. I did and they’re great for starting a subject you may not know much about plus they give good suggestions for building a music collection based on the genre of each book) > A book or two followed by a course on wine tasting (a wine store in your area may have them), A few Art books. > Even if the female you’re interested in doesn’t know a damn thing about these topics it can create a catch-22 attraction effect. > Knowing about topics like these act as a DHV that helps to create attraction (since they’re associated in most peoples minds with wealth, status, culture and sophistication.) so it adds to attraction. > As you build attraction the girl will actually find these topics more interesting even if she was never interested in them before. > Kind of like how women say they’re attracted to a man with a good sense of humor…but if the man is attractive they’ll laugh at even the lamest jokes. > > Likewise some good books on politics, philosophy, religion, law and economics will both broaden your own world and and impress people high on the social ladder. Look up Easton Press’s 25 books that changed the world. > If all of that sounds like too much to start with, try the Intellectual Devotional, Daily Dose of Knowledge or the Bedside Baccalaureate each one contains 365 daily bits of info (think wikipedia entries) on many of the topics I just listed. Make it a personal resolution to learn one new thing every day. > [@piotro2](#): > > How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie (Written in like 1930) > > Good hands on advice. Nice ans short too. I pulled these off of some threads I remembered ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/13 "2011-04-05T20:15:19Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > _ **Its really very simple though. You dont need to act totally different just dont act in opposition to the vibe.** _ > > _ **If you wearing A314 but hide in the corner like a Nancy boy and not make eye contact or approach and lead its not gonna work for you.** _ > > _ **If you use Ishine and you are a mean prick its not gonna work for you. Smile, make eye contact, show a little kindness.** _ > > _ **If your wearing IO but you wont talk to anyone when they approach it wont work for you.** _ > > _ **Its really just that simple. You dont have to dress up like the Prince or Persia unless you want to and if you do give me and Bella a call we will be right over** _ 😃 I knew I shoulda slept in, lol. I think I’ve finally got it. 😉 Bella ---
**Author:** ![ggrigo33](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ggrigo33/32/799_2.png) [@ggrigo33](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ggrigo33)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/14 "2011-04-05T22:02:53Z")
WOW, thanks a lot guys. Thanks for book suggestions, i read some of them. I read pretty much everything by Richard Bandler. Thanks Bella for suggestions, it makes sense about subjective perception of pheros, i prob don’t have enough testing experience to determine how pheros effect people around me. I found what helps me to understand what behaviors are associated with projection of certain vibes is watching clips or movies where actors play characters that give of right vibes. Its like observing a role model or something lol. did application of pheros had a placebo effect on you? for example when i apply certain mones i think it has a placebo effect on me as well (which is great) What also helped me to understand some behaviors ---
**Author:** ![1Alpha](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/1alpha/32/190_2.png) [@1Alpha](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/1Alpha)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/15 "2011-04-05T23:14:44Z")
How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie (Written in like 1930) I love this book!! One of my favs!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/16 "2011-04-08T00:37:31Z")
> [@ggrigo33](#): > > _ **Thanks Bella for suggestions, it makes sense about subjective perception of pheros, i prob don’t have enough testing experience to determine how pheros effect people around me.** _ You’re welcome, ggrigio. 🙂 Yes, we’re all different as to how we respond to these molecules. The more you test and the more you test around different people/venues, the better you’ll get at sorting out their reactions. > [@ggrigio](#): > > _ **I found what helps me to understand what behaviors are associated with projection of certain vibes is watching clips or movies where actors play characters that give of right vibes. Its like observing a role model or something lol.** _ I’m glad you understood/appreciated the point I was trying to make and how I attempted to get it across. 😉 Wearing pheromones relates to acting, in a sense, as in you want to “create” a certain image. What’s more you want to project that image to the audience/your targets in the right way so that you’re believable as the “character” you’re playing. If it was so simple to change your behavior by just doing it, well then, we wouldn’t need all the programs for eating disorders, etc… or self help books and no one would need to post questions like this on the forum. We all have learned behaviors/reasons for the way we act. Some learned behaviors are easier to change. Others that have been more deeply ingrained in us are not so easy to change. In this case saying “just do it” or “just stop what you’ve been doing”, as a means for changing your behavior, is a lot easier said then done. That often requires more determination/time/patience in order to discover ways that change our thinking enough to therefore change the dynamics/behavior within ourselves and our relationships with others. There are many different schools of acting. You can read up on them, if you’re interested, and employ some of the techniques to help you get into and develop your “character”. Constantin Stanislavski was the originator/granddaddy of the “system” which led Lee Strasberg to develop the school of “Method Acting”. Strasberg had several students/actors who learned his method and then broke from him and developed their own versions of “The Method”. Stella Adler and Sanford Meisner among them. Their methods are/were used by some of the greatest actors you’ll ever see on stage/screen. Why choose one method of acting over another? I can only speak for myself… because that’s the one that works for me and best helps me to get to where I need to be. 🙂 Sanford Meisner said… _ **“Instead of specifically portraying required personality traits, the actor behaves in a way that makes the audience believe the character embodies the traits.”** _ That’s it right there and that’s what it takes to make a “character” believable. 😉 Practice makes perfect. Dustin Hoffman had to practice to hone his craft, he didn’t just pop outta the womb acting like Ratso Rizzo, lol. He studied and did it by creating/finely weaving a character, which in turn led to a convincing performance. Please let me clarify…I’m not remotely saying that you have to enroll in “The Royal Academy of Dramatic Art” in order to succeed. That said, you don’t want to storm the castle in one fell swoop. When you want to gain access to someone’s house you don’t just break down the door. You need to be subtle in your approach…ring the bell first, lol. The thing is even although you may be acting and getting into the part, you don’t wanna come off as a ham. If they see you’re “acting” the curtain is gonna quickly come down on you. > [@ggrigio](#): > > _ **did application of pheros had a placebo effect on you?** _ > > _**for example when i apply certain mones i think it has a placebo effect on me as well (which is great)**_ > > _ **What also helped me to understand some behaviors** _ Yes, sometimes that’s the way it works for me, ggrigio. If I’m not feelin’ it and need a little assistance getting into the groove, I spray on the pheromones and along with a few other tools…like make-up, a hot dress and some sexy heels…use it to inspire me to get in the game. By the time I add the other elements to the equation, it all adds up. I specifically address that very question, as it personally applies to me, in my post in the congruency thread. 😉 Bella ---
**Author:** ![data4](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/data4/32/272_2.png) [@data4](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/data4)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/17 "2011-04-08T07:14:23Z")
> [@1Alpha](#): > > How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie (Written in like 1930) > > I love this book!! One of my favs!!! I’ve got that on CD. Great to listen to at night when going to bed. The narrator’s voice is so fatherly and relaxing. I usually go through the set twice a year, if not more. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/18 "2011-04-09T14:49:51Z")
Wow I’m loving this thread! Lemme just steal a couple of cents from the Bard to throw in the pot here. _All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms. And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble reputation Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined, With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything._ I love the complexity of levels that Shakespeare brings to the whole acting/congruency discussion here. He describes a man’s appearance, mannerism and style in each of the great epochs of one’s life. \*Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame! The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail, And you are stay’d for. There; my blessing with thee! And these few precepts in thy memory See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue, Nor any unproportioned thought his act. Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel; But do not dull thy palm with entertainment Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade. Beware Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, Bear’t that the opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment. Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy; For the apparel oft proclaims the man, And they in France of the best rank and station Are of a most select and generous chief in that. Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine ownself be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell: my blessing season this in thee! \*And here he cautions that congruency is really only found in honesty. I love the part about “Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy.” In other words “Do your best but don’t try to appear as some thing you are not.” ---
**Author:** ![ggrigo33](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ggrigo33/32/799_2.png) [@ggrigo33](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ggrigo33)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/19 "2011-04-09T21:03:38Z")
I agree, do your best and things will fall naturally into place. why is it so hard to do then? lol ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 12:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703/20 "2011-04-10T12:06:50Z")
> [@ggrigo33](#): > > I agree, do your best and things will fall naturally into place. why is it so hard to do then? lol Ya know what? I’m a naturally lazy person, that’s why it’s a struggle to do my best everyday. It’s easy to be tempted to look for an easy way out but it’s essential that we strive. That in the end is what makes the reward worth the effort. [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/balanced-personality/49703.md?page=2)