# better to have loved and lost then never loved :( **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718 "2009-09-23T17:13:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BubbleCatcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@BubbleCatcher](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/BubbleCatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/1 "2009-09-23T17:13:21Z")
Hello, if you have read some of my other post you may know that i hooked up with old love from 20 yrs ago, it was risky move but she does make me feel so good. Trouble is looks like things have not changed, after declaring her love for me and that we are soul mates and she wants to grow old with me a while back, i noticed she was getting getting little distant end if last week. I ask if everything ok on monday, and was told ok but not right, something is missing? I heard this before and usually comes when she finding herself getting really close to me, she has baggage but don’t we all but this is a pattern. She said she would call in a few days and speak to me, a later text says next day, but me like a fool wrote a letter to her pouring out my feelings and thoughts which i drop off at her house while she working shifts. No call, and text saying was going to call till got letter and i will get a letter instead saturday or monday. Man think i have really blown it this time ☹ If i have the last couple months were very good and will keep as a wonderful memory. Man oh man, relationships are not easy, especially with this woman thought the good times are worth all the pain. Apologies if you have no interest in post, just had to get it off my chest. cheers ---
**Author:** ![Snoopyace](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/snoopyace/32/1727_2.png) [@Snoopyace](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Snoopyace)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/2 "2009-09-23T17:18:24Z")
I’ve been there. Good luck, I hope things work out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/3 "2009-09-23T20:21:54Z")
sounds like a Crush more than love, some women fall hard and fast for a crush, but it takes a while to settle, and they realize the interesting part is over, and move on. I have found and seen that a relationship that lasts longer than two weeks tends to be more than just a crush. Some longer, some shorter but the average is about two weeks for a crush. This is where that puppy love burns off and it becomes work to stay going. Better luck on the next go around! ---
**Author:** ![BubbleCatcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@BubbleCatcher](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/BubbleCatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/4 "2009-09-23T21:51:16Z")
> [@Wolfy](#): > > sounds like a Crush more than love, > > some women fall hard and fast for a crush, but it takes a while to settle, and they realize the interesting part is over, and move on. > > I have found and seen that a relationship that lasts longer than two weeks tends to be more than just a crush. Some longer, some shorter but the average is about two weeks for a crush. This is where that puppy love burns off and it becomes work to stay going. > > Better luck on the next go around! A crush it is not, i met this woman when i was 18, now 46, she broke my heart when i was 26 and she kept my letters and cards for over 20 years. I have been seeing her for about 9 weeks and she had been thinking about getting back with for the last 2 years but we lost contact 10 yrs ago. That would be some crush. thanks anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/5 "2009-09-23T22:18:12Z")
> [@BubbleCatcher](#): > > A crush it is not, i met this woman when i was 18, now 46, she broke my heart when i was 26 and she kept my letters and cards for over 20 years. I have been seeing her for about 9 weeks and she had been thinking about getting back with for the last 2 years but we lost contact 10 yrs ago. > > That would be some crush. > > thanks anyway. wow, now that is some Retrosexual action… “Retrosexual” Hooking up with your old lovers off the internet. ---
**Author:** ![BubbleCatcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@BubbleCatcher](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/BubbleCatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/6 "2009-09-24T04:34:48Z")
> [@Wolfy](#): > > wow, now that is some Retrosexual action… > > “Retrosexual” Hooking up with your old lovers off the internet. Did not really hook up off the net, she does not even have a computer, thought indirectly maybe as it was a reunion party i was told about via facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/7 "2009-09-24T05:29:51Z")
> [@BubbleCatcher](#): > > Did not really hook up off the net, she does not even have a computer, thought indirectly maybe as it was a reunion party i was told about via facebook. Facebook is where the term was first coined, in the modern hyper-texting uber-connected society of today. does not mean all hookups come from there… ---
**Author:** ![BubbleCatcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@BubbleCatcher](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/BubbleCatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 8:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/8 "2009-09-25T08:16:14Z")
Could not wait for letter so went around to see her last night, she would not talk to me and but when i asked for a straight she said ‘Its No’, i just turned and walk away. Got a text 10 min later saying she was so sorry and that she does love me but its just not for her? Work that out if you can? This is going to hurt bad but think she has done me a favour as i can now lay to rest this 30 year old story and some demons as well as i now know it not me, it is her and the demons she will not deal with. She will still send the letter and i do not hate her, i wish her the best just don’t understand how you can love someone but they are not for you? I knew the risk and will just have to deal with it and move on. ---
**Author:** ![moonwhisper](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/moonwhisper/32/1735_2.png) [@moonwhisper](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/moonwhisper)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/9 "2009-09-25T12:52:38Z")
> [@BubbleCatcher](#): > > just don’t understand how you can love someone but they are not for you? Try not to take this personally. I think she is trying to tell you that it’s not because of some fault within you that you aren’t a good match together. And if that’s how she really feels, be glad to let her go now, instead of later. The longer this stretches on, the more its going to hurt when it is finally over. Take your freedom and dignity and spend them somewhere else, because this woman is trouble, frustration and agony for you down the road. ---
**Author:** ![BubbleCatcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@BubbleCatcher](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/BubbleCatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved/32718/10 "2009-09-25T14:57:44Z")
> [@moonwhisper](#): > > Try not to take this personally. > I think she is trying to tell you that it’s not because of some fault within you that you aren’t a good match together. > And if that’s how she really feels, be glad to let her go now, instead of later. The longer this stretches on, the more its going to hurt when it is finally over. Take your freedom and dignity and spend them somewhere else, because this woman is trouble, frustration and agony for you down the road. Thanks for advice. I know you are right, just never met a woman who made me feel so good, and also so bad. Once the pain is gone and i can start sleeping and eating again, i am pretty sure i will now be able to leave the past in the past and move on. Going to take me a while to trust a woman again though, but hope i can. cheers