# Big Hello, from the Big Apple:) **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [November 1, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375 "2008-11-01T20:42:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LaGrange123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@LaGrange123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LaGrange123)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375/1 "2008-11-01T20:42:55Z")
My name is Ben. I am a high school student in the New York City area. Throughout my school career, I have been somewhat of a nerd and introvert, and I’m also very left-brained. The resultant low social value/status has, over the years, conditioned me to be nervous around girls. Perhaps my nervousness is not as unusual as I like to believe. But in any case, it’s there, and I’ve been on the look-out for something to deal with it for quite a while. What’s weird is that I am no longer considered a nerd, yet the problem (sort of) persits. I overcame most of my inhibitions a few years ago by being a kind of spectacle–by doing really crazy, immature stuff for attention. That helped to ease me into a position of social worth in which I am pretty comfortable. But it takes many years to counteract childhood conditioning. And I have had virtually no experience with intimate one-on-one sexual situations with which to do so. So even though I am no longer a pariah (I am actually quite popular) there is still a core of that earlier sexual anxiety. In other words, I can function competently as a friend, and I am considered quite “cool,” but when it comes to more intimate interactions, I just sort of revert to that obsolete mode of behavior from my past, and I lock up. I have been conditioned to do this. Up until now, the problem has not nearly qualified as urgent. But I am now friends with this incredibly beautiful girl. I fear that, unless I can truly address the problem at its root, or unless I can find some deux ex machina–some unexpected gift from God or science, then the relationship will stagnate. And since I’m probably not going to address the root of problem–my sexual anxiety–for many years (which is too long, since we will have graduated by then), I must go for the latter alternative. I must use [Pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/). That is why I am here. Thanks for reading. ---
**Author:** ![Tenant](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tenant/32/1668_2.png) [@Tenant](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tenant)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375/2 "2008-11-01T21:40:07Z")
Hey there Ben, Welcome to pherotalk 😃 Don’t feel bad about having that nervousness or anxiety. It is a natural reflex to protect us from rejection, among other things. Look at [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/), a cologne-type attractant. Also look at IShine which may make you feel more confident. IO and IH to open up the lines of communication; if she talks to you in an open way, this may make you feel more comfortable too. Also, if your nervousness or anxiety shows, you might make her feel nervous too, so consider some IFM as well. Stay away from A314, sometimes people have the misconception that it will give them confidence, which it doesn’t really. You need to be congruent with it already. Let us know what you think about the suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Vespero](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/vespero/32/988_2.png) [@Vespero](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Vespero)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375/3 "2008-11-01T21:41:25Z")
Welcome to the forum, Ben. This sounds like the sort of problem that pheromones alone cannot solve, although I’m sure you know that. You do need to slowly experiment and try to get over this sexual anxiety. In the meantime however, you might try a couple of the socials such as Instant Shine and Instant Honesty (probably better than [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) in this case.) You could try something with a little bit of -none in it, such as Ammo, but you would have to be careful with that. The best thing to do might be to do research on this forum and make a more educated decision. I’m sure some of the other guys here could help you out as well. What is the girl like, by the way? You say she’s beautiful, but what about her personality? That makes a difference in what pheromones and what amounts you might try. ---
**Author:** ![LaGrange123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@LaGrange123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LaGrange123)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 10:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375/4 "2008-11-01T22:22:21Z")
Her personality: She’s really mature, and she seems older than she really is. (People thought she was a senior in her freshman year). But she is not so mature that she seems cold. It’s just that she doesn’t do stupid shit. She is friendly, but not excessively outgoing or horny. This element makes her somewhat ‘hard to get’. (But this in turn makes her even sexier, which, in turn, makes her even more unapproachable. It’s a vicious cycle! The hotter she is, the harder she is to get, and the harder she is to get, the hotter she is.) Also she is very smart. ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375/5 "2008-11-01T23:59:04Z")
Welcome Ben!!! You got some good tips, Ammo with some socials is great for a younger guy. If you are known as a cool, friendly guy and you are decent looking and she likes talking to you, why would anything bad happen? Remember that hot girls also like to go on dates. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/big-hello-from-the-big-apple/22375/6 "2008-11-02T14:45:40Z")
Hello Ben Welcome to Pherotalk 🙂 Thanks for providing alot of personal info it really helps us direct you to products that fit your needs. First off sexual anxiety is normal for the majority of unexperienced people even those who seem like they have it all together in that department. So know that your not alone there. So from what I can gather your looking to **Not** revert back to immature behavior due to how you were conditioned to act in intimate social situations in the past. You have already taken the most important step. Your aware of the problem and being conscious of that will help a great deal in changing your conditioned response. A little hard at first but the more you react in a fashion that you want to react in the more you re-condition yourself. Mones can help but they wont do it all for you. IG would be great, It has some of the same qualities are A314 without the intimidation factor. Sophisticated, mature, responsible, attractive, sexy masculine . Paul Newman in a bottle 😉 Not the salad dressing the man LOL 😛 IH for a deeper more intimate connection and comfort. Increases meaningful conversation as well. IFM for a calm feeling of well being and to increase affection. Ishine for a upbeat warm charismatic vibe and a boost of confidence. Keep in mind there are to-go bottles in most products so you can try things out. If you have questions just ask, **Your GC is on its way** Tisha