# Cautionary Tale **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [June 16, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cautionary-tale/50773 "2011-06-16T17:46:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![saraunne](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/saraunne/32/193_2.png) [@saraunne](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/saraunne)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cautionary-tale/50773/1 "2011-06-16T17:46:06Z")
Hey everyone, I am considering myself a newbie again, just given that I haven’t done anything with pheromones since 2007. I am now living in an area where there are plenty of people and opportunities to use them, and I am back in the game, though not reporting as there’s hardly been time to sleep these days. 🙂 However, I thought I would share my story, just in case there are others starting out (for the first time or again) for similar reasons: I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship. It was probably the most awful situation I could have ever put myself in. It did not involve physical abuse, which I have absolutely no tolerance for and know how to handle. It did, however, involve the one thing I had no idea what to do about: neglect. I’ll spare you the details, but by the end I had lost all my confidence. I felt repulsive, I felt unlovable, and deeply confused. I had given up a lot for this man, I compromised my core values, I bent over backwards to oblige him, I went into denial, and I clung to the small crumbs he gave me rather than admit that his actions and his words did not match up. And then I remembered pheromones. Pheromones were the answer. Pheromones would make him attracted to me again, he would pay attention to me. My boyfriend would WANT me again, finally! I told myself that this wasn’t to create something that was never there to begin with (I knew better than _that_ 🙄), it was just bringing back what was lying dormant. So I ordered and wore them. I spritzed and splashed, I danced in a cloud of Sexiness A, I showered in Sexiness B, I wore tons of [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) and Instant Shine. I skipped down streets sharing the TAH love, and got amazing hits from friends and strangers. My boyfriend dumped me three weeks later. I should have dumped him nine months before. I should not have allowed myself to lose my muchness - the very muchness that had attracted him to me in the first place. And I should never have tried to use pheromones as some kind of love spell. _Pheromones will not make anyone love you_. It’s been said and said again, and reminded and hinted (and stickied! A sticky that I’ve read many times). They enhance, they entice, they jump-start, they nudge in the direction you were already headed. They cannot solve or fix. They cannot persuade. Foolish me, I thought maybe I would be that one miracle. Thank God, I wasn’t - I am so grateful to be free. I’m moving on, and trying to make myself the best person I can be so I am ready for a man who actually is worthy. I will never again wear pheromones to try to keep a man. I wear them for myself and myself alone. (As I write this, I’m wearing TAF… very focused on completing those sentences!) ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cautionary-tale/50773/2 "2011-06-16T19:23:39Z")
((((((saraunne))))))) Welcome back 😃 Very wise advice there. I am glad you found your “muchness”. I call it worth. Somethings even painful are blessings from the gods. You have been blessed with knowledge of your worth. Some people spend a lifetime with it lost or trying to get it back. I am glad you found your way back to us and to you. 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![saraunne](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/saraunne/32/193_2.png) [@saraunne](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/saraunne)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cautionary-tale/50773/3 "2011-06-16T23:30:24Z")
Hey, Tisha!! Thanks. 🙂 Yes, I have definitely learned. I’m not sure how active I can be - but I certainly hope to stick around. \<3