# Cheating: after a bf cheated at 20, does it really matter if they cheat? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [January 3, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cheating-after-a-bf-cheated-at-20-does-it-really-matter-if-they-cheat/8016 "2008-01-03T22:57:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 9
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 4:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cheating-after-a-bf-cheated-at-20-does-it-really-matter-if-they-cheat/8016/9 "2008-01-04T04:11:43Z")
> [@Carrie](#): > > Sounds like both parties have a biological interest in the OTHER party being faithful! > … > To answer PQ, yes, emotional fidelity is more important to me than sexual, and a one-night stand need not upset your whole life, but a love affair probably would. Infections and pregnancy - neither of which are entirely in anyone’s control - complicate matters further. True, to an extent. Each has an interest in faithfulness, but of a different type. A woman’s emotionless one-night stand can result in pregnancy and is thus against her male partner’s interest. A woman might tend to find it less threatening if her male partner had a one-night stand. A man’s emotional affair is threatening to his female partner, because it means her partner might leave. A man might find his partner’s emotional affair less threatening. > [@Carrie](#): > > … > That about sums it up I think. Sure, I’d love to be able to be with whomever as long as my honey is faithfully waiting at home! 🙂 Doesn’t usually work that way though, does it. > > Some people say that monogamy isn’t natural. For some it comes naturally, for others not so much (particularly once you’ve been together a long time). Even if monogamy’s unnatural for both of you, it is SO much work being nonmonogamous (I’ve tried this with a couple of partners) that I’m inclined to say it’s not worth it for me… There are also reproductive strategies for both sexes that rely on being unfaithful. There is biological evidence that humans are not strictly monogomous. I’ve written a little about it here: > [@Tournament and pair-bonding strategies for pheromone use](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tournament-and-pair-bonding-strategies-for-pheromone-use/4009): > > Biologists have noted two types of species with distinct physical and behavioral characteristics with regard to mating. Those are called [tournament species](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tournament_species)and [pair bonding](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pair_bond)species. In tournament species males compete for the opportunity to mate with females. They may compete via fighting like the elk, or via displays like the peacock. In pair bonding species like the swan a male and a female form a lasting pair bond. (In a very few species it is the female that competes to mate with the mal… --- _[View the full topic](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/cheating-after-a-bf-cheated-at-20-does-it-really-matter-if-they-cheat/8016)._