# Clefairy's Phero Journal **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Journals\ **Created:** [July 23, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/clefairys-phero-journal/30935 "2009-07-23T12:43:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![clefairy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@clefairy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/clefairy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/clefairys-phero-journal/30935/1 "2009-07-23T12:43:21Z")
Keeping a journal and updating it regularly will help me keep track of everything (something I’m not always the best at.) Let me start off by putting my introduction post in here. I realize I may have been a little overly descriptive, but I just wanted to be really honest about myself and why I want to use pheromones. "I am 18, female, living in NYC. I recently found out about pheromones from my best friend, and after browsing the forum and reading plenty of stories and trying to do some more research, I think with the help of pheromones I can achieve what I want. As of now since I am planning to start off experimenting, I ordered Instant Sexiness and [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) , after reading many experiences and descriptions on the forum I feel those would suit me best from the non-advanced products and mixes (and I hope to get into the more advanced ones later on after I feel like I have a better knowledge of pheromones.) I was hoping the experienced users could either let me know how they think those pheromones might work for me or suggest different ones that might help. I recently graduated high school and in a few weeks I’m going to start college. I’m really nervous. Going into college, I want to change my life and hopefully pheromones can help me with that. In high school, I didn’t really have many friends. I wasn’t the most social person coming into high school as a freshman, I wasn’t used to being around others and interacting with them, I didn’t know how to act. My self-esteem was also very low so even if I wanted to approach someone, I would not have the courage to do so. I feel like all of this, how my personality used to be gave off a certain vibe from me that stuck with most people or something, most of them just stayed away from me. Towards the end of my senior year (this year) I noticed myself actually becoming more outgoing. My self-esteem improved a lot as well. I felt more confident about myself and about communicating with others. I found myself talking to many new people – some I never thought I would ever speak to! However, I still feel I don’t interact with others as much as I would like to. And I do try! I also feel that some people still find me unapproachable for some reason and I would like to change that (hopefully with Instant Openness ?) I like being around people, but I don’t feel like I am given a chance to do that sometimes. I love having conversations, having a good time, and I want people to like me as much as I like them. I mean this in any situation, whether it is in school, work, at a party, or just meeting some new people through others. Also, I would like to (for once) meet a guy that isn’t a douchbag to me. It has happened that the majority of the guys I have been with in some way or another thought they were better than me, and would mentally try to fuck with me because they thought they were able to, and just didn’t appreciate me as a person or the kind things I did for them. Basically, with guys, I am aiming for respect. Sure, many guys tell me they find me attractive but that means nothing to me. Most of those guys end up being just really bad people. Beyond looks, I feel like when I like someone I am very caring, and I just want someone that can care for me equally as well as respect me, and respect is not something I have been receiving from guys. That is also why I ordered Instant Sexiness because I heard that is one of the effects (perhaps there are better ones though?) And hopefully the physical attraction aspect of it can help me meet new guys. For some reason guys usually only view me as a friend, or if it is beyond friendship it’s how I described (not actually appreciating me!) Anyways, I’m not the best writer, but I tried to make that as short and to-the-point as I could. Hopefully everyone understands what I’m trying to say and I didn’t sound too cheesy. 😛" I posted that a little over a week ago (July 10-ish I think?) I ordered To-Go bottles of IS/a and Instant Openness, and received a gift of Instant Honesty which is great because I was planning on buying that later on. So those are the pheros I currently own. ---
**Author:** ![clefairy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@clefairy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/clefairy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/clefairys-phero-journal/30935/2 "2009-07-23T12:59:43Z")
I received my first order: IS/a, [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/), Instant Honesty on 7/13/09. I feel dumb for not writing down the exact amount I used/where I put it, but I definitely used IS/a and Instant Openness that day. I was with my best friend that day, and I remember that the combination gave me plenty of hits, so I decided that worked perfectly for me and I was going to use it for my college orientation. The only self-effect I felt was that right after I sprayed on Openness, I started just ranting and talking way too much. I was in an extremely talkative mood, and I felt like listening too. I love conversation, so I thought it was pretty awesome. My favorite hit that day was when we were leaving the park, and a group of young children were on a field trip. As we were passing by them, head after head after head would just turn and gaze in our direction. Literally, one after the other, like a bunch of dominos or something, immediately fixated on us. It was a fun day. ---
**Author:** ![clefairy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@clefairy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/clefairy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/clefairys-phero-journal/30935/3 "2009-07-23T15:13:27Z")
[7/15/09] First day of my college orientation. I had to get there at 8:30 am. I left my house at 7:00 am, and right before that I sprayed myself with: -1 spray of IS/a to back of neck -1 spray of IS/a to the top of my head, onto my hair -1 spray of Openness to chest -1 spray of Openness split between wrists I didn’t feel any self-effects yet at that point. I was on the train and getting many stares. My mom was with me on the train, and no noticeable effects on her. I felt that the smell was pretty strong. I was surprised she didn’t mention anything, so she probably didn’t even notice the smell. I get to the school. Many, many stares. I speak with admissions people as I was supposed to, hand in my immunization form, talk a little with a friend from high school who is also going to the same school with me now, get some coffee they were serving, and take a seat in the auditorium. The dude talks about the school. Blah, blah, boring. The orientation leaders give us random numbers, those are the groups we are supposed to go with. As they call my group I get up, and my mom got up with me. I tell her she’s supposed to stay in the auditorium and she’s getting pissed at me like “what, are you embarrassed of me?” It’s pretty sad that the guy announced that the parents are supposed to stay in the auditorium and she didn’t listen, and didn’t believe me when I told her this. So here I was, walking with my orientation leader, a group of about 20 incoming students, and my mother. I felt soooo embarrassed. We walked into a classroom with some teacher who had a pretty heavy accent. For some reason, I was the first person she looked at, and she kept looking at me more than anyone else. She asked us all to introduce ourselves, and when it came to my mom’s turn, she finally realized she wasn’t supposed to be there and left in a short while. When it came time for me introduce myself, I couldn’t help it, I felt I came off as bitchy because of my tone, because I was so pissed at my mom. But I tried to play it off in a joking matter like, “yeah, she didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to be here…” The teacher for some reason then decided to give us a group assignment. For some reason she looked at me as the first person and asked me to get up and hand out the papers. Me of all people right? That was definitely something. Nobody was in the mood to read a three page article, discuss it, and then make a presentation about it in front of the class, but I felt my group handled it well. I’m pretty sure it was the Openness! All the group members felt really comfortable talking to each other and me, more than the other groups did when I was observing them. I’m not used to making presentations, so when my group was up there, I feel I came off as totally dumb. Whatever though! Nobody seemed to care. When I knew we had like five minutes until we leave that room, I rushed into the bathroom because I was afraid the effects might wear off. When I was in the bathroom, it was around 11:00 am. I sprayed on an extra: -1 spray of Openness to chest -1 spray of IS/a to hair Coming out of the bathroom my immediate thought was “shit, maybe I shouldn’t have sprayed that, I hope I don’t have an OD” But as I came out, my group was already leaving the classroom and I caught up with them. As soon as I did I was reassured I did not OD, as a matter of fact I was getting more stares! We were walking a bunch of guys in my group just randomly started talking to me. Clearly hits. It was so awesome because people never, ever just approach me like that, I always have to be the first one to initiate any sort of conversation. After I got my lunch, I sat with my high school friend. After I finished eating I decided to go outside for a moment, and when I come back into the cafeteria my group is gone. Great, they left without me. I wasn’t even gone that long at all… maybe like 5 minutes? I found like four other girls from my group that were also lost, and we just kinda went around looking for our group. They were very nice and chatty, and all the counselors were super friendly to us, more than to any of the other groups I noticed. More random dudes talking to me. We eventually ended up finding our group, and with them visiting random places around campus that our leader took us to. There was this one kid from my high school that even though we had classes together in hs… he never really seemed to want to talk to me or anything. And now for some reason he came up to me all friendly, we talked a lot, he gave me his number. I know for a fact he wouldn’t even say hi to me if I wasn’t wearing the pheros. I think he kinda liked me from that point. I’m totally not interested in him though, ehhhh… and even though I have his number I never felt the need to text him. I hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way because I do want him as a friend, and I try talking to him through Facebook, I just don’t want to contact him through phone. This other kid that was talking to me earlier, I ended up spending some time having a nice convo and a cigarette with away from the group. He was pretty cool I guess. He seemed like the total player type but ehhhh whatever, I still wish I had gotten his number. Ugh! I feel so awkward asking people for their numbers, it’s just not something I’m used to. We joined everyone else in the gymnasium, and this one girl he was also talking to seemed somewhat jealous that I got to talk to him alone. Whatever! By the end of the day we had to line up according to our majors and pick a time we would be coming in the following day. Some random dude was totally interested in me on the line and started talking to me. I was nice but he seemed like an idiot, so whatever. I could tell that everyone was really irritated by this point because the lines were very long and everyone was very tired because it was a really long day (8:30am-5:00pm) everyone just wanted to leave. On the train I sat next to the cutest two guys! And they gave me a deer in the headlights stare, haha! More of that, and also a lotta honks. Overall, my main goal that day was to leave a good first impression and I felt that I did. It was really weird, because when I got home my whole body was sore and I just felt sooo exhausted. I didn’t have much on mind. However, I felt restless, it was really difficult for me to fall asleep and I didn’t even know why. Maybe pheros cause restlessness? But either way I was happy, and even though it was only my first week with [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) I felt like I had already found my “sweet spot” and wanted to use the same combination the next day.