# Confidence: how to obtain it, working from the inside out **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [April 16, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confidence-how-to-obtain-it-working-from-the-inside-out/37781 "2010-04-16T17:00:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 4
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confidence-how-to-obtain-it-working-from-the-inside-out/37781/4 "2010-04-18T16:40:03Z")
Lesson learned from a guy I knew (he was a senior officer, i.e. maj. general USMC, directly running ground operations in Viet Nam) who, to put it mildly, knew what the hell he was talking about… His favorite statement was: _First_, **define your terms**. Operations would succeed or fail depending on how well the most basic assumptions were understood and communicated. He totally got how fuzzy language could be if an exceptional effort was not made to be crystal clear as to how goals, intentions, requirements, and exceptions were framed. 😕 _Second_, **define your mission**. The guys executing often had no idea what the civilian command (the president, his cabinet including that world class douchebag Robert McNamara, member of congress, etc.) actually wanted. 🆒 _Third_, **define your markers**. How will you know when you’ve gotten what you want ? How will you know when you’re on the right track ? How will you know when you’re on the wrong track ? How clearly do you understand the criteria for what you’re dealing with ? 😮 _Fourth_, **define your relationships**. What is expected of each party or team ? What is expected of other stakeholders in the given situation ? How do you clearly signal expectations, will power, levels of understanding, capabilities, in and between individuals and groups ? 😕 --- _[View the full topic](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confidence-how-to-obtain-it-working-from-the-inside-out/37781)._