# Confusing hits on a first date. ???? Please advise. **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [June 3, 2015, 12:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445 "2015-06-03T12:33:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheAttractor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theattractor/32/575_2.png) [@TheAttractor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheAttractor)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2015, 12:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/1 "2015-06-03T12:33:18Z")
On Monday night, I went on a date with a girl I met online. We met very quickly; the time between the first message I sent and her standing in front of me was just four days. There were no bumps along the way or last-minute postponements. At the same time, the hits I got were very confusing. It’s why I waited a day to integrate all this properly before posting a report. This lady is 33, Caucasian. I wore the following. I originally wanted to wear more MX353, but decided to stick with 1 spray, to avoid possible ghosting or OD’ing. Here it is: MX353: 1 spray on front of neck Instant Honesty: 1 spray on forehead [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/): 1 spray on forehead Cover scent: Lacoste cologne, 2 sprays **Self effects** I found myself rambling a bit here or there, on date-appropriate topics only. (Except one instance; see below.) I was also more forward with my physical affections than usual on a typical first date. **Hits from venue employees** Nothing I noticed. **Inside Caribou Coffee** She waited outside the coffee shop, and greeted me with a hug. It’s a greeting I adopted for myself on all first dates, because it achieves a critical task: breaking the touch barrier. We ordered our drinks, and sat down. We talked about the usual date topics, and the conversations flowed very smoothly. At one point, I decided to start escalating things, and put my hand on hers. She smiled, turned her hand upwards, and gently squeezed my hand. “Touchdown! MX353 in action,” I thought. **Walking around the mall: before** She affectionate and touchy-feely, and showed no negative reactions when I did things like put my arm around her and hold her hand. Even better: she responded in kind, pressing into me or squeezing my hand each time. As we walked around, we stopped at a candy store, and bought some chocolate-covered gummy bears. The mall was quite empty that night. We sat down side-by-side in a booth in a deserted food court. As we talked, there was _that pause_ where the only right course of action is to go for a kiss. So I did. **Walking around the mall: after** She did not allow the kiss, effectively turning it into a peck. Right after, she started talking at length about what she’s looking in online dating, the guys she’s met previously, and how she slept with one of them on the first date. This isn’t an IH _hit_; it’s an IH _knockout_! In an attempt to push back when pushed, in a way, I mentioned a one-night stand I had, and even changed a few details to make it sound more exciting. Toward the end of the date, she seems to have calmed down, as was as affectionate as earlier, but a bit of low-level awkwardness persisted. As we parted ways, said she wants to see me again, and was practically trying to sell me the idea (by saying how she’s free most nights and likes getting together with people, and I can call her anytime), but I’m wondering if she meant as a friend. To be safe, I’ll do the three-day rule before calling/texting, even though it’s not universal anymore. **The aftermath** Whoa! This has got to be the most confusing date I’ve had in years. All I’m feeling toward this girl now is a mix of annoyed and confused. I don’t know if I even want to see her again. (Although the possibility of sex makes it worthwhile.) Her signals were so mixed, they were blending together. On one hand, she was enjoying me touching her everywhere non-sexual, and even responded in kind. On the other hand, she refused the kiss _and_ talked about other dudes she’s been with (a MAJOR date etiquette breach). **Conclusion** I’m trying to figure out the following. 1. Was her rambling about other guys a counter-reaction to the potential chemistry she felt and got shocked by? Or was it IH talking? 2. Was her rambling about other guys a sh\*t test? Did I pass it or fail it? 3. Until the rambling, she seemed like a cool girl. Any potential here? Or should I beat her to the punch by telling her I didn’t feel a connection? 4. Was her behavior toward the end an attempt at damage control on her part? 5. If I see her again (unlikely), what pheromones should I wear? On the plus side, I’m going to a salsa night with my sports group this weekend. Another girl I like will be there. I know her in person, and flirted with her a few times. She’s 24, Latina. She’s shown some low-level IOI’s. I’m planning to use MX353 on her instead. And maybe lay off IH. If all goes well, a report is in order. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2015, 1:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/2 "2015-06-03T13:38:40Z")
Why on earth would you think there are mixed signals ? This girl obviously likes you… What is confusing about it ? Not going for the kiss or not sleeping with you on the first date ? She just didn’t want to get physical for her own reasons. Stop overthinking please!!! And if you genuinely like her get a second date, be yourself and see how things go… Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![justintime469](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/justintime469/32/1402_2.png) [@justintime469](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/justintime469)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/3 "2015-06-03T17:41:12Z")
Well if you like her and had a good time go on another date just have fun and see what happens. I think to many people stress and overthink things. I have go on dates in the past and nothing happen at all but still had a lot of fun. If anything it is someone to hang out with and go see a movie or go out to a nice restaurant. I have had dates like this and then go back to their place or mine and then it got really wild when there was no indication or interest of being anyrhing more than friends. My advice would be to just have fun. There is a lot of fish in the sea. ---
**Author:** ![TheAttractor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theattractor/32/575_2.png) [@TheAttractor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheAttractor)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/4 "2015-06-03T22:28:49Z")
**Pudleduk** posted this in my journal. I’m putting a copy of it here, so everything can be in one spot. > [@pudleduk](#): > > Hi TheAttractor, > I’d interpret this date a little differently. It appears all went well until the kiss. At this moment, she may have had visions of how a previous online date went too fast, and she was pulling back not from you necessarily, but from that previous too-fast-guy. She is likely falling head-over heals for you, especially with the mones, and she mentally put the breaks on, for fear of moving too fast again. > All the rambling thoughts that followed seem to be her trying to explain her hesitation away, and while she was stuck in those runaway thoughts in her head, she also was trying to no let on to this and completely ruin the date. > Personally, i think she is into you, so don’t do anything to cast her away just yet. I would say that you should stick to the same mix and game for the next date, and I suspect she won’t hold back for the next one. > pudleduk This makes a lot of sense. I suppose the MX353 caused a quick physical escalation, and IH caused the rambling. All those [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) must have hit her right in the nose. Then IG stepped in and acted as a supporting player, making her feel comfortable with the touching and the sharing. No wonder she got shocked; after all, my competition never used the stuff. And the first-date-sex guy probably had a naturally high androstenone signature. I suppose it won’t hurt to at least try to see her again. With the same pheromones. Only I’ll pick a venue with less lighting and more privacy. On a lighter note, the rambling was borderline funny, even though it felt quite bizarre to be comparing each other’s casual sex encounters _on a date_. She liked my cruise story, though. I suppose that’s extra social proofing I can leverage. It’ll be really weird if she ends up an FWIB (friend with insufficient benefits), cuddling and touching all over, but stopping there. Good way to get an oxytocin fix, I suppose. Hey, maybe I’ll start a new trend 😉. Still, at this point, I’m betting more odds on the salsa dancer girl. I guess that’s the advantage of meeting people offline; you get to feel out their natural pheromone signature before romantic interest even enters the equation. I’ll use the same combination on her, and see where that takes me. ---
**Author:** ![cod3freak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cod3freak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/cod3freak)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/5 "2015-08-18T03:19:29Z")
I agree with replay25 and justintime469 Just enjoy the ride. Do interesting and fun stuff with her, and she’ll come to associate ( you == cool guy ) I want to be with. That alone makes pantys drop, if that’s what you really want. It’s been a while, so how did things progress? ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:45am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/6 "2015-08-18T06:45:51Z")
MX353 isn’t one I’d be wearing on a mall/coffee date - get her to a praty, club or some wild/sexy/fun/pulse-racing activities. 😉 That could well account for the confusion IMO. A314/IH and maybe some [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/) or just a small amount of TUTH - the A314/IH will provide good moderation, so it will be balanced. It woun’t be like “lets get naked and jump around - HERE, RIGHT NOW!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheAttractor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theattractor/32/575_2.png) [@TheAttractor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheAttractor)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 12:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/7 "2015-08-18T12:13:17Z")
> [@cod3freak](#): > > It’s been a while, so how did things progress? It went nowhere. She didn’t answer my calls or texts after the first date. That MX353 must have scared the bejeezus out of her 😃. Interestingly, when I wore it to a salsa night, the girl I danced with responded to it much better. Not sexually, but more like high comfort level with dancing in a sexy way and inordinately close hugs. ---
**Author:** ![mrseeker](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mrseeker/32/5177_2.png) [@mrseeker](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mrseeker)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 10:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/8 "2015-08-19T10:01:45Z")
> [@TheAttractor](#): > > It went nowhere. She didn’t answer my calls or texts after the first date. That MX353 must have scared the bejeezus out of her 😃. Interestingly, when I wore it to a salsa night, the girl I danced with responded to it much better. Not sexually, but more like high comfort level with dancing in a sexy way and inordinately close hugs. I don’t think it scared the bejeezus out of her, but I think she is confused if it is really the way she wanted it to go. Questioning herself what just happened, and most likely wanted to get some time off. I think it just went too fast for her, and she got shocked that she met such a lovely guy who really was such a nice guy. I bet that she won’t be dating for a couple of months again. After all, you were waaay better than all the guys she dated until now, and she totally freaked out because of that. In my opinion, I think you did a great job showing how ‘real men’ behave, and she got blabbergasted by it… ---
**Author:** ![TheAttractor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theattractor/32/575_2.png) [@TheAttractor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheAttractor)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 11:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/9 "2015-08-19T11:58:28Z")
I was being facetious with the “scared the bejeezus” comment. I think what started the whole thing down that path was a touch-barrier-breaking tactic I developed over the years, and used on my dates with some degree of success. Shortly after we held hands momentarily while having coffee, I started talking about Latin dancing. Me: blah blah blah, salsa this, bachata that Her: So bachata is a variation of salsa? Me: Nothing like that! Even the basic steps are totally different. In salsa, you… (cuts off). It’s hard to verbalize. So here, let me show you instead. Give me your hand. \ Her: \ Me: In salsa, you step like this; just feel my lead. \ In bachata, like this. \ It’s the raunchier one of the two, we’re just going an appropriate version for now. \ A family with kids sitting near us was looking at us funny, but I really didn’t care. And neither did she. Once we left the coffee place, things started escalating physically hard and fast, like you already read. Only to end equally hard and fast. Either way, who cares. The same month, I met another girl online, took a train and a bus to her neighborhood, and had a one-night stand. She also ended things hard and fast (because she wanted to settle down and I didn’t), but it was after sex, so hey. Ironically, I didn’t wear pheromones that night. (Hence, no reports, plus the girl was a bit weird, and I slept with her mostly because I was “hungry”.) I can only imagine what it’d be like if I did wear MX353. ---
**Author:** ![cod3freak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cod3freak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/cod3freak)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 1:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/confusing-hits-on-a-first-date-please-advise/64445/10 "2015-08-25T01:08:55Z")
Nice one Attractor!