# Conversational/Influencing Skills **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [June 16, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155 "2007-06-16T15:44:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/1 "2007-06-16T15:44:39Z")
from sebastian drake - [masterthevibe.com](http://masterthevibe.com) The Cost/Worth Conception The Cost/Worth Conception says people think things are worth what they pay for them. People will rationalize after paying a price tag that an item was worth it. Things that are free or cheap will be taken for granted or written off as poor quality. For instance, look at all the entertainment activities available in a given city. Many of the most fun and enjoyable activities don’t carry “prestige” or a strong desire to do them, precisely because they are so freely available. When someone has the opportunity to do something that’s pricey, it becomes something “special” and to be cherished - and this is by and large because of the cost. Cost/Worth says people think things are worth what they cost - so if your cost is zero, you’re vibing that you’re not worth anything. Which is no good. When She Works For You, She’ll Realize She Likes You As she puts in work to get you, she’ll think to herself that she must like you. It goes like this: “I just bought Sebastian a present… I never buy stuff for guys… huh, I must really like him.” Content With Not Having Her Work… A great many men are comfortable with working for a high quality girl, and making it easy for her to get with him. Many men do not mind being the knight in shining armor who slays dragons and quests for his fair maiden, going through great hurdles and challenges to get her. And in the past, this was a viable way of doing things. The only problem is that there is a set of socially elite men in the world right now who will have their women do a great many things towards the interaction and relationship, and really have the woman work hard to be with them. So when a man is willing do anything and everything to please a woman without her putting anything into the interaction, she thinks: “I really worked hard to snag Sebastian… and I bought him presents and helped him clean up his place a lot… now I didn’t have to work hard to snag my new guy, and he’s buying me all kinds of gifts, and I’m not even helping him clean his place or cooking dinner or doing anything nice for him. Why? Hmm… I must not like him as much as I liked Sebastian.” Crazy but true! This pattern of rationalization means if your girl is not working as hard to get, impress, and keep you as she did for the guy who made her work the most her whole life, she’s going to size you up accordingly. Women compare relentlessly to analyze their feelings and where they stand with men. Women’s barometer of men is based completely on their interactions with other men - and these days, if she’s a worthwhile girl, she’ll get exposed to an elite man that she willingly and happily puts in effort towards. They Like Working, Too… The #1 cited reason that men pay for women, do nice things for women, and try to impress women excessively is that, “I enjoy doing it.” It rings true… most people do legitimately enjoy helping others, especially people they care about. Just realize it’s noble and unselfish of you, and frankly necessary, to give her the joy of helping you. Women legitimately enjoy helping out a high quality guy, and putting in effort towards getting him. The Work Starts at Conversation The dynamic gets set up early: One thing that is excellent is to get the woman participating early in the interaction. By the first date at the latest, you want her being an active participant in the conversation, and if you can get her doing 60% to 80% of the talking while you listen actively, encourage her to continue, and occasionally inject something really cool - then you’re in great shape. Three techniques for you to do that are showcasing, interactive feedback storytelling, and thread amplification. But first, remember this if nothing else: “You can’t talk a woman into your bed - she talks herself into your bed.” - This has long been joked on theApproach Live Training Programs, and there is much truth in it. Your conversational structures should be built to allow her to interrupt at every opportunity, as that is the absolute best possible result when you’re talking. You use threadcutting after she interrupts to guide the conversation where you want it to go. Pausing is Crucial Pause at the end of every sentence. Arnold, one of the top-ranked instructors at theApproach, says: “Take two breathes between every sentence - one for you, and one for the other person.” Pause for emphasis and pause between every single sentence. By doing so, you’ll fill more time by saying less and come across more powerful and mysterious. People with an excellent grasp on conversation who are confident speak slowly and pause because they know people are interested. People who know they are low value speak very quickly, rightfully assuming that no one wants to listen to them. So before anything else, speak slowly and remember to pause - pausing gives you an opportunity to collect your thoughts, and her an opportunity to jump in. Technique: Showcasing Showcasing is a technique that great conversationalists naturally do all the time. What you want to do is to insert themes not directly related to the matter at hand in passing. This flushes the world around you out and gives her an opportunity to jump in and interrupt. So if you were going to say, “I went out drinking with my friend yesterday, and…” You could instead start with, “So work was absolutely nuts yesterday, my boss is crazy, and I finally get done and am going out drinking with my friend…” Most of the time, you’ll just continue normally with the story uninterrupted, but you did add a couple additional details. Some of the time, though, the girl will go, “Oh my God, what’d your boss do? My boss is psycho too.” Similar examples: “I had just finished eating lunch at this really awesome Thai place when…” “I hadn’t been in (where I live) long from (vacation I was on) when…” Flush out people’s characters by describing things about them whenever they come up. So instead of, “I was going to the baseball game with my friend George, and we had good seats”, you go, “I was going to the baseball game with my friend George… cool cat, he’s from the Dominican originally and actually played a ton of baseball growing up. Anyway, we had good seats…” By flushing out those random details, you give your story life, and “showcase” new subjects that she can jump in if she’s really interested in. They don’t have to be things that are particularly amazing, just filling in the edges with more potential topics means you and your girl are more likely to connect on one - and she’s more likely to jump into conversation. Technique: Getting Interactive Feedback Never, ever “monologue” at a girl. That’s where you tell a big, long story while she just sits there and listens. Bad things come of it. Instead, you want to get interactive feedback on your stories. To keep your stories feeling spontaneous and full of energy, and make her participate a little even when you’re in the middle of a story, ask her small questions - yes/no questions are fine - and then modify your response to what she says based on her answer. Then you continue with your story. Example: “We were hanging out in Times Square in Manhattan… have you ever been to Manhattan?” If she says yes, you nod and continue, “Okay, so we were at Cafe Europa eating one of those damn good sandwiches…” If she says no, you say, “Okay… it’s maybe the brightest, biggest, flashing tourist place on Earth. But this one place, called Cafe Europa, has this pretty laid back feeling even though it’s really busy. They have really good sandwiches, and I was eating one…” Creating these little yes/no moments that change the arc of your story makes it feel like you’re talking with her, keeps her fresh and engaged, and makes you a more interesting storyteller. Especially if you tell the same stories with any frequency, keep them interactive and people will like hearing them more than once as you tell in groups. Technique: Thread Amplification This is a fun one. Whenever a girl puts in good behavior, such as complimenting you, praising you, saying she likes something you like, or anything else that you deem a good thing - make it bigger. For instance, if she compliments you with: “I like your style” - then play out this little fun interaction. Her: “I like your style.” You: "What was that? Her: “I like your style.” You: “C’mon, no you don’t.” Her: “No really, I do.” You: “Oh? What do you like about?” Her: “Well, I like your…” A thread amplification is something that makes the sentence bigger. It starts off with the weakest one, which is not hearing her - that makes her repeat herself once. It then goes into the strongest and second strongest kinds of thread amplification. The strongest is arguing with a person. Please remember this: NEVER ARGUE WITH ANYONE UNLESS YOU AGREE WITH WHAT THEY’RE SAYING Arguing makes people dig deeper into their positions, and according to an unscientific poll, no one has ever had their mind changed, ever, by having someone argue with them. So, only argue with a girl when she says something you like: Her: “I like to cook.” You: “YOU like to cook? No way…” Her: “I think you’re really cute” You: “Nahh, you’re just flattering me.” Her: “I play video games with guys I go out with.” You: “No girls play video games.” Her responses will be: (What? Of course I like to cook!) (No, I do think you’re cute!) (Well, _I_ happen to play video games!) Arguing with people makes them get stronger in their position. Do it only when you agree with someone. Finally, asking for clarification and elaboration flushes out what they meant, and makes a person more attached to their position. “How’s that work?” “Break it down for me.” “Explain that…?” “I don’t get it…” “How so?” “What’d you like about it?” And so on. You can combine all three occasionally to really get the girl digging deep into a position, and she’ll believe much more strongly in it after that. By the way - you’ll see examples of ALL of these conversational techniques in next month’s edition of MastertheVibe - so sign up today so you don’t miss it. Start here: [http://www.masterthevibe.com/faq.html](http://www.masterthevibe.com/faq.html) Check out the FAQ, and click “Order Now” at the bottom. You owe yourself this - MastertheVibe is THE most cost-effective way of getting your social life in amazing shape. So order! If you don’t like it, keep the disc and get your money back. Zero risk. Day 7: Getting Fluid Learn about Fluidity in Motion, how to slow down your movements so that you have a calm, cool energy and move at a different pace from the rest of the world. Stand out by being smooth, slow, and fluid, and never scurrying through the world. ---
**Author:** ![sigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@sigma](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sigma)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2007, 10:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/2 "2007-06-16T22:32:19Z")
Good read. Thanks for sharing ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2007, 11:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/3 "2007-06-16T23:01:09Z")
Rings like a Meisner Techinque class with extras thrown in… 😛 … find a teacher who can run you through a long set of the advanced Repetition Exercise… this is the most invaluable tool in your social kit… and from NLP take the part about engaging **all** of the sense modalities… combine the two and you have a new creature, and a potent one at that… curiously, Meisner greatly supports NLPs “senosry acuity” approach, as Meisner comples you to notice, and comment on what you notice: A look passed across your face… A look passed across my face ? It looked like you heard some internal comment… Like I heard an internal comment ? Yes, you saw a picture or something then made an internal comment… "To support this process, Meisner created the Repetition Exercise. It is one of his unique contributions, and is one of the most important devices in the world of acting. Two actors repeat a phrase which deals with what is going on between them, such as: “You seem to be nervous around me”. They will send this phrase back and forth like a ping pong ball, only each time it is sent back, it is infused with the meaning of whatever is going on between the two actors at the moment. So the words become a flexible vehicle by which various meanings can be spontaneously expressed, and through this method two advantages come to the actor: " ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 6:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/4 "2007-06-17T06:48:36Z")
you have access to this site? ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 11:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/5 "2007-06-17T11:18:02Z")
> [@smn1234](#): > > you have access to this site? you sign up for free newsletters, but the rest of his stuff is good too. google “sebastian theapproach pickup” ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/6 "2007-06-17T17:23:57Z")
I gotta say… that was some pretty good material… ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/7 "2007-06-17T17:34:20Z")
from the same guy… Good eye contact has been one of those elusive issues. Everyone knows “eye contact is good”, and we most people can’t, won’t, and don’t know how to go about doing it. Limited experiments with it feel like staring, or worse, actually are staring. So let’s break down how eye contact works, when to use which of the three powerful forms of eye contact we’re presenting today, and how to get started using eye contact to make swift, powerful, positive impressions. Descriptions of the Three Forms of Eye Contact For Use in Life: 1. Leader’s Eye Contact: Your default eye contact will be confident and nonchalant. Leaders acknowledge everyone around them, but neither try to impress or intimidate. They take stock and pay respect to all they come across with general acknowledgement. 2. Intimate Eye Contact: Intimate eye contact is a reward for when a woman has met your standards and you are getting closer to her. It’s a look of genuine warmth and affection, that makes her feel closer to you and that you care about her. Executed correctly, it can make the rest of the world literally vanish for a few moments (maybe you’ve experienced this yourself with a woman). 3. Dominant Eye Contact: For more all-purpose situations, we typically don’t advise using this with girls. Powerful, dominant eye contact intimidates and imposes your will on someone - so use it sparingly. It can be incredibly useful in negotiations and for dealing with men who consider themselves “alphas”, who won’t see it as intimidating but rather that you are on their same level. Excellent for use with bouncers and doormen. How to Do the Three Forms of Eye Contact: 1. Leader’s Eye Contact: Look with your right eye to the right eye of the person you are speaking with. When you walk and move through the world, move your eyes slowly without turning your head much - when you look around, aim for a ratio of 3 parts eye movement to 1 part head movement when looking at something new. This gives you a controlled, fluid way with your eyes and trains your peripheral vision. Looking right eye to right eye means the eye contact will naturally end at an appropriate amount of time when walking, and that your head will be correctly “tilted slightly” when engaged directly in conversation. When a person looks away from you, then break their eye contact, and reengage once they look back at you. 2. Intimate Eye Contact: Affix your eyes at the bridge of her nose from at least a foot away. This will make it appear that you’re looking into both of her eyes simultaneously, and will create a very powerful, intimate effect. You can tell if you’re doing this correctly when her eyes start flitting back and forth between your left and right eye. Break away eye contact slowly when you feel it’s right by tilting your head to one side or the other slightly, smiling, and then looking away. Women who are great with their eyes do this to men regularly, and shows confidence and offers her a chance - while implying it won’t be easy. It drives men crazy… It drives women crazy too. 3. Dominant Eye Contact: With Leader’s Eye Contact, you look from your right eye to their right eye in a form of acknowledgement. With Dominant Eye Contact, you pinpoint both of your eyes on one spot in their eye. The easiest place to look is the pupil of one of their eyes… this effect takes ahold of them. When using dominant eye contact, after making it, speak slowly, and speak less if at all. You are representing that you are in complete control of the situation - and you are. Do use this one wisely. Shifting Between Different Forms of Eye Contact: Moving through the world, use your right eye to look into the right eye of just about everyone you see, for just a moment of acknowledgement. If you engage them in conversation, keep holding this form of Leader’s Eye Contact until they break off eye contact, then resume when they look back towards you. If the situation calls for it, you can move your head ever so slightly so that now, both of your eyes are looking into the exact same spot on their right eye - this will become much more dominant. By focusing on one spot, Dominant Eye Contact will naturally narrow your eyes and facial muscles into a powerful, slightly intimidating, focused and controlled expression. Finally, to shift between Leader’s Eye Contact (your default) and Intimate Eye Contact, move your right eye slowly to the bridge of her nose, and even out your expression so you’re looking almost straight on at her. Do this only as a reward after she’s impressed you - Intimate Eye Contact will only rarely come before the 40 minute to one hour mark in an interaction. Before that, Leader’s Eye Contact will serve you much better. Learning to Make Eye Contact: Start by practicing Leader’s Eye Contact, and do it while you’re walking. Remember, for every four inches you’re moving where you look, 3 come from your eyes, 1 comes from your head. So you’re walking through the world, making eye contact by moving your eyes slowly and your head not very much. This is going to naturally make you seem calm and in control of situations, and will improve your peripheral vision - a huge bonus to social skills. You should see instant results with this. If you follow through and practice Leader’s Eye Contact for between three weeks and a month, it will become habitual and automatic, at which point you’ll come across in calm control of yourself in many different situations. The two differences between eye contact and staring: Staring usually doesn’t have a point of focus (right eye to right eye, both eyes to bridge of nose, or both eyes to one pupil), which leaves a blank numb expression on the starer’s face. Second, people who stare don’t break off eye contact once the other person has, again making them come across like a mindless zombie - even if they are looking at the person’s eyes or face. Defeat this by taking a point of focus (start with right eye to right eye) and remember to look away once they break eye contact. ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/8 "2007-06-17T17:45:32Z")
Perspective… a huge international nightclub, four stories, six dancefloors, dozens of bars. One particularly great table is surrounded by couches and chairs, sitting just around the corner of the 2nd-to-3rd floor stairwell. The table is has a little bronze sign marked “RESERVED” on it, and four shiny buckets sitting around the setup. Out of nowhere, waitresses appear, and quickly prepare the table, scooping up the “RESERVED” sign, and putting ice and bottles of champagne in the buckets. Empty champagne flutes are set up in a diamond pattern. A group of eight girls, aged 22-25 come in loudly. They’re dressed raucously, and people can’t help but notice. They’re paying particular attention to the girl in the middle, wearing a gaudy pink and silver tiara with large faux jewels in it. Quickly, men seem to hover around the table, reminiscent of sharks looking to hunt. Time passes, besides the staff, no one approaches the group of girls dancing, drinking, and celebrating. The men nearby drink two, three, four drinks before a warm liquid courage starts to set in. And then, the onslaught begins. Like dominos falling, by either fate or chance, a number of the men lurking around emerge from the shadows to talk to the girls - and one by one, they get brushed off. They don’t receive any hostility - just an indifference, and a confused “why are you here?” look. Outright hostility might feel better than that look of complete indifference. Then, one man descends the stairs, clicking the heels of his shoes against each step before moving down. A huge shit-eating grin on his lips, his eyes wide and bright, this guy manages to stride. He hits the bottom of the steps, clicking his heels as he turns, and when he sees the big group of girls - he cocks his head to the side, as if amused by the setup. He stands, head cocked, eyes bright, smile upon face, and then begins moving forwards steadily. He locks eye contact with a girl in the group, and hold it for a second, and then a second as he comes to a stop and starts speaking. He addresses them all, and they light up, as the men lurking on “death row” in the shadows strain to hear. A few seconds later, the man claps his hands excitedly and kisses the birthday girl on the cheek. A champagne flute is placed in his hand by one of the friends, and he sits down, alternating between 2-3 different girls in the group in conversation at a time. Welcome to Day 2 of the Vibe Mastery Series, provided to you for free courtesy of [MastertheVibe.com](http://MastertheVibe.com) What to think about when you socialize? The mind can race at what seems like a million miles per second, trying to go through everything you know about socializing. Conflicting information clashes in your head as you try to think about the next move in the chess game, and your brow furrows automatically… and the vibe suffers. The men who rule the social night are able to clear their mind in a zen-like fashion. But how did they learn that? What’s the first thing to think to be able to get into the moment and flow? Today, we present to you how successful men think, and how to get a hold of your thoughts. Master your thoughts, and grip hold of yourself, and the vibe will follow. Taking Hold of Your Thoughts: It is impossible to consciously not think of something. Tell a man to think of anything except a penguin playing basketball, and what thought comes to his head? Tell him, “Think anything in the world! Just do not think of a penguin dribbling, rebounding, running the floor, and shooting a basketball. Anything else!” And the man, of course, thinks of the penguin playing hoops. Yet, many men adopt this flawed strategy with their thoughts. “Don’t be nervous! Don’t be nervous! Don’t be nervous!” It is a strategy doomed to failure. Instead, we want to focus on the top three things you should be focusing on when socializing. These are derived from how the most socially successful men of all times think. Your Primary Focus: The first thing you should focus on when you enter any social venue should be to “Charge the Venue” - Charging the Venue is comprised of three things that almost every socially successful man does. 1. Have Fun: The first and most necessary part of your psyche is your duty to yourself to have fun and enjoy yourself. It is exceedingly difficult even for a master of the craft to get decent results when in a bad mood. 2. Socialize: Socially successful people meet people - all different kinds of people. Socialize with cool guys, uncool guys, beautiful women and plain women. 3. Make Others Have Fun: Your objective leaving every interaction is for the other person to be better for having spent time with you. If people observe everyone you socialize with enjoying themselves more after you leave, more people will want to meet you. Expansion: 1. Having Fun: First and foremost, do what you enjoy. You can’t “suffer” your way towards getting women. If you like to drink, have a drink. If you like to dance, go dance some. Dress in a way that’s expressive of yourself, and don’t take anything too seriously. Fun doesn’t come naturally all the time. The key to having fun is to take on all the mannerisms of someone who is having fun. New breakthroughs in neuroscience have been made the last few years. Previously, scientists thought that neurotransmitters ran from your brain to your body, and what your brain felt affected your body’s reactions. If you felt nervous in your head, you’d feel it in your stomach. New research shows that transmitters run both ways: If you smile, you’re actually telling your brain that you’re happy and having fun, and are more likely for it to become so. 1. Socializing: You want to meet as many different kinds of people as you can. The easiest time to do so is early in the night if you’re out at night: Early in the night the place is empty and people are looking to get something happening. It’s very easy to start socializing early in the night, and meet a wide variety of people. In “night club time”, three hours is an eternity, so people you met at 10 o’clock are your best friends at 1 AM. 2. Make Others Have Fun: Even if someone is rude to you, sincerely wish them well and move on. Truly high status people do not waste time trying to hurt others - they simply move on with indifference. Sincerely try to elevate the mood of everyone you meet, and it will diffuse the vast majority of competition and roadblocks. Your primary focus should be about half of where your mental energy is going. Roughly 50-65%. Your Secondary Focus: 1. Make Connections: After you’re having fun, socializing, and making others enjoy themselves, connect with people on a wide range of topics. Look for common ground and topics that interest both of you Some of the best topics are ones that interest you that you don’t know much about - get the other person to tell you about their career, where they’re from, or about anything they know more about than you that you’re interested in. They’ll feel good, and they’re also putting effort - compliance - into the interaction. 2. See if People Meet Your Standards: High status people do not try to impress others - they know that they’re high status people, so they simply assume that others like them and then see how well others stack up with their criteria of what they like. It’s absolutely crucial to hold other people up to your standards. You should codify your mental standards and hold women to them. Your secondary focus should make up 25-30% of your mental energy, and should be your goal once you’re having fun, socializing, and others around you are having fun. Your Tertiary Focus: The range of mental energy left is only 5-25%. On a great night, where everything clicks, only 5% of your mental energy will be expended on your tertiary focus, which is Logistics, Conscious Use of Tactics, and Everything Else. After learning a technique, you’re more likely to do it correctly if you let your subconscious take over, and then consciously analyze it later. However, even during a nuclear meltdown, no more than 25% of your mental energy should go into Logistics and Tactics. Overanalysis in field leads to the brow furrowing, eyes unfocusing, and a slight frown naturally, in addition to other subtle cues that you’re not in the moment. Focus in Action: The “Other Guys” Here’s how it works: If you’re with a girl, you’re having fun, socializing, making her have fun, and so on. Then a random guy walks up and starts engaging one or both of you. Many guys get tense and attack the guy socially at this point. Instead, here’s your goals - First, have fun. Make sure you’re enjoying yourself, and at no point “suffer” to continue the interaction. Now, engage the guy and try to elevate this mood. Greet him warmly, introduce yourself, and ask how his night is going. Engage him, and ask about him for a bit. What this does: He’ll show his intentions right away. If the guy is legitimately a cool, social guy and you make friends with him, you’ll be all set. In practice, the guy will often move along in 5 minutes and you can chat with him later if you see him. If however, he tries to ignore you to engage the girl, or says something rude, now he’s not being fun - so you say to the girl, “Hey, want to go meet my friends?” Or, “Let’s go grab a drink”, “Let’s check out the music elsewhere” - and take her by the hand and leave. Doing that right off the bat would’ve made you look insecure, but engaging the guy and having him spur friendly conversation lowers him in the girl’s eyes, and makes it almost expected for you to excuse the both of you from the would-be predator. Focus in Action: Her Girlfriends You’re always trying to meet as many people as possible, and make them feel good. When you engage a girl and it’s going well, early in the interaction you say, “So where’s the rest of our friends?” Get her to introduce you to her friends preemptively, then engage them, socialize with them, be friendly and make them enjoy their night more, and connect with them. Then, see if her friends are your kind of people, and ask them about your girl to see if she’s up to your type. By preemptively engaging her girlfriends instead of waiting for them to show up with their own agenda, you greatly increase the chances that the friends leave you two to enjoy yourselves, and that her friends give your girl their blessing to get to know you more. This wraps up this installment of the Vibe Mastery Series, Presented for free courtesy of MastertheVibe at: [Master the Vibe: Live Audio of Dates and Pick Ups](http://www.masterthevibe.com) Let you thoughts start to evolve in field - your first priority to yourself is to enjoy yourself. Be asking yourself the following questions regularly: “What would be the best thing for me to do for me to have more fun? Is there anyone else I can socialize with? What would make the people I’m interacting with enjoy their night more?” Then find common ground and see if they’re up to your standards. ([http://www.masterthevibe.com/audio.html](http://www.masterthevibe.com/audio.html)) ---
**Author:** ![smn1234](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/smn1234/32/2430_2.png) [@smn1234](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smn1234)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/9 "2007-06-17T18:19:40Z")
wow… amazing yet again… ---
**Author:** ![May](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/may/32/1909_2.png) [@May](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/May)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/10 "2007-06-17T18:36:00Z")
This has reminded me of something that impressed the hell out of me years and years ago and I still remember it. It is something that I think only a true alpha can pull off though. The previous scenario set in a nightclub reminded me of it. I was in a London nightclub, it was one of those very fashionable ones, and the club owner was quite a well-known personality in his own right. I was sitting in a booth with my female friend. She got up to get us some drinks and a guy came and sat next to me. To say he was pushy is an understatement. I was a lot younger then, and was a bit nervous about saying “&\*ck off” even though I felt intimidated and threatened. The booth was sealed at the end I was sitting in so I couldn’t just get up. My body language was screaming “get me away from this bozo”. I was leaning so far away from this guy my head was against the edge of the booth. Just then the club owner walked up. He looked at me, looked at the guy and then without saying a word very slowly and deliberately put his drink down directly in front of me without saying a word. He then looked at the guy for a couple of seconds, turned away and walked off. Bozo the clown - the guy sitting next to me - got straight up and left the table. He recognized the “ownership” signal and knew he was out-alpha’d and, frankly, out-classed. Of course it was not a genuine ownership signal. The club owner was just being protective of a female customer. But he did it without a word, and boy it impressed the hell out of me. He was not trying to pick me up. He didn’t even come back for his drink. But if you want a class move, and if you alpha enough to pull if off - I can highly recommend that technique. 🙂 May ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/11 "2007-06-17T19:23:37Z")
> [@tacitus](#): > > Rings like a Meisner Techinque class with extras thrown in… 😛 … find a teacher who can run you through a long set of the advanced Repetition Exercise… this is the most invaluable tool in your social kit… and from NLP take the part about engaging **all** of the sense modalities… combine the two and you have a new creature, and a potent one at that… curiously, Meisner greatly supports NLPs “senosry acuity” approach, as Meisner comples you to notice, and comment on what you notice: > > A look passed across your face… > > A look passed across my face ? > > It looked like you heard some internal comment… > > Like I heard an internal comment ? > > Yes, you saw a picture or something then made an internal comment… > > "To support this process, Meisner created the Repetition Exercise. It is one of his unique contributions, and is one of the most important devices in the world of acting. Two actors repeat a phrase which deals with what is going on between them, such as: “You seem to be nervous around me”. They will send this phrase back and forth like a ping pong ball, only each time it is sent back, it is infused with the meaning of whatever is going on between the two actors at the moment. So the words become a flexible vehicle by which various meanings can be spontaneously expressed, and through this method two advantages come to the actor: " Think that is excellent advice. Finding a good Meisner teacher willing to teach a non-professional is the tricky bit… ---
**Author:** ![Quixotic](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/quixotic/32/1728_2.png) [@Quixotic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Quixotic)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/12 "2007-06-20T20:18:47Z")
> [@PheroQuirk](#): > > Think that is excellent advice. Finding a good Meisner teacher willing to teach a non-professional is the tricky bit… Search Sanford Meisner Master Class on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) Its 8 hours of instruction on 2 DVDs taught be the man himself. I have never heard of Sanford Meisner, until this thread, but it inspired me to do some research on him. ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/conversational-influencing-skills/4155/13 "2011-11-05T17:29:29Z")
> [@Quixotic](#): > > Search Sanford Meisner Master Class on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) > Its 8 hours of instruction on 2 DVDs taught be the man himself. > > I have never heard of Sanford Meisner, until this thread, but it inspired me to do some research on him. good to read about, but there is no substitute for taking classes run by an experienced and highly competent teacher…