# Dance by the Light of the Moon **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Journals\ **Created:** [April 17, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873 "2016-04-17T15:12:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Light_of_the_Moon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 8:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/21 "2016-05-25T08:37:06Z")
CP, you once asked why men put me in the friendzone. There you go. I don’t understand much more than this. ---
**Author:** ![Dee\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@Dee\_A](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dee_A)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 12:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/22 "2016-05-25T12:23:14Z")
> [@Light\_of\_the\_Moon](#): > > Third date with this guy. Hmm. It’s been 14 days since our last date. Yeah, I went to yoga retreat for a day and a half. Then he got the flu last weekend and canceled on me at the last minute because of that. Today he looked fine for the flu on Friday. > > I wore Instant Shine (two sprays of the double strength) and p78 since I’m out of ISB. I couldn’t summon much attraction to him. We had a good conversation and he tried to be his normal affectionate self but it was odd. He wanted to meet me for what he said was 1-2 hours. Okay. We met for an hour and spoke in the park. He offered dinner but I truly wasn’t hungry. Then by the time I was hungry he was angling to go home. I remember asking, “Where are we going now?” And he said to the train. > > It was odd. He had had the day off. He wasn’t tired. But he didn’t seem to want to extend the date. I teased him about going to bed at nine o’clock. But he said he wasn’t tired. > > My last few date experiences have been pretty discouraging. And this guy, just doesn’t contact me enough between dates to make up for the 10 - 14 day wait between them. He says I’m busy but I’m home by 9pm every night. He’s an interesting person and I like the way he smells, but I’d honestly like to spend more time with him but he doesn’t seem to give me more time. I should have said something but to be honest, I didn’t want to say anything that made me seem more interested. His touch isn’t unpleasant but I really didn’t want him to kiss me after one hour. I know for a guy to hear I want to see him but don’t want him to walk me home or touch me is confusing. But a woman needs more than 90 minutes of a man’s time after two weeks to warm up. Good grief, that seems obvious to me. > > What a world. Too much chemistry is a problem, not enough is a problem. I don’t know if the pheromones made one whit of difference in any instance. > > Instant Shine (double strength) is a bit of a mood lifter and gets people talking. But hey, all of these 'mones get people talking. > > I read this online: > > _And let me tell you… it sucked. It absolutely, positively SUCKS big time to be sitting there waiting and hoping for someone to come talk to you. Waiting and hoping that cute girl you like comes and flirts with you and maybe even asks you out. And if she doesn’t, well, some of the time you’ll even shrug and say to yourself, “Eh, who needs her.”_ > > _ **This is how women feel ALL THE TIME, because most women are trapped in a perpetual state of waiting and hoping for men to take action.** They aren’t going to walk up to you and start talking to you, 99.7% of the time; it violates every law of male-female dynamics._ > > This _is_ how women feel all the time. Like I always say, all the pheromones in the world isn’t going to change male-female dynamics. This guy needed to take the lead in flirting or keeping the connection between dates. I admit, he may have needed cues from me. Which I had been giving. Our first date was on April 30th. I think him canceling on me last Friday when I was all gussied up to see him just killed it. I can’t tell him that. He can’t help having been sick. But he didn’t say anything until I e-mailed him on Friday morning. Then he said he was available yesterday but then canceled that, later telling me he had a friend over. > > Whatever, dude. Time to look for another guy of your interest. Dating is like hunting. Don’t expect too much from a guy who loves to be in your shooting range, only to run away before you even lock your gun on him. He’s not that totally interested to you, time for you to move on and find another target/prey. 🙂 Losing one does not always mean you are at fault. Most of the time, it’s their fault, primarily because they have no idea what kind of a gem they’ve lost the moment they started not prioritizing you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Light_of_the_Moon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/23 "2016-05-25T17:21:55Z")
Thanks, Dee for answering. I never considered that he wasn’t that interested. I do remember him not calling me back much and I asked him about it and he did say sometimes he went to sleep or went to watch soccer or was away from his phone. I never did put that together that that was disinterest. People always say move on to the next person. But this is the seventh person in five months. They aren’t that different. I don’t see men really wanting to put in time. They want the sex and companionship but don’t actually want to change their schedule in any way to get that. I’m taking a break. The pheromones? Eh. They had minimal effect but I think all would have occurred the same with all of them 'mones or no 'mones. Thanks again. ---
**Author:** ![Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Light_of_the_Moon)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 3:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/24 "2016-05-29T03:13:11Z")
I was about to close down this journal. Seriously. But somehow I ended up on a fourth date with this guy and it was pretty great. I’m still blown away by it. I should say dates with this particular gentlemen go better with pheromones than without. My intention was to attract him, but I think they are working on me. I’m also trying a bit to get to know him and figure him out. We went to a street festival in 90F heat. I love heat so I was in a pretty good mood. I was wearing a fabulous dress I changed into at the yoga studio after class. The women there said it was a beautiful dress. I looked good and I knew it. I figured it was probably the last time I’d see this guy so why not pull out the stops? We shopped a few vendors but mostly sat and talked. He was really affected by the heat and half way through the date his feet started hurting him as a result of a blood pressure medicine he’s on. He does like to buy me stuff. It must be one of his love languages or something. No other man I know has been so into gifts. Somehow we got on the topic of two things tonight. I asked him about his job. Turns out his job isn’t that interesting. He’s got a MPH, but what he likes most is variety in jobs. Then later I asked him why he didn’t call very often. I had started teasing him about it earlier. He said a few years ago he got an early morning international call and it was the news that his youngest sister had suddenly passed away. Ever since then he doesn’t like to be on the phone. It’s a sad story but I said that sometimes we had to use the phone. He had been teasing me (maybe not teasing but mentioning) giving me sensual massage. I had teased back if he called me, I might consider it. After he told me about his sister I was serious about maybe trying to get over his phone issues by associating answering the phone with something good. He said, “Phone sex?” He’s a guy. 🙂 And that was exactly what I meant. He, of course, was down with that but I said he was always such a proper gentlemen I just couldn’t imagine it. Then he started to mention some very unproper things and well, I’m not sure how proper he really is! Live and learn. 🙂 It was actually all very fun and teasing and introduced a much-needed sexual tension into our interactions. I noticed that I was a lot more touchy. And that’s not the pheromones. That was time. It was our fourth date and I just felt more comfortable with him. Especially since he has phone issues and it’s not that he doesn’t like me. But just like I unblocked my number for him, he also has to change some habits. He always smells really good but you have to get up really close to notice. I actually did get turned on once and I forget why, just some naughty thought popped unbidden into my brain and I completely got flustered. Hmmm. At 9:00pm, he was ready to go. I had just gotten comfortable with him, my head on his shoulder, completely at peace and I said no. I told him, every time we get close and I finally relax with you, you want to leave. He’s got some internal 9:00pm curfew or something. We had a minature version of the sex talk. I know nowadays people start relationships with sex. But I start a relationship and _then_ have sex. Had to make it clear. No naked massages unless you’re my boyfriend. His feet started to really hurt and he was actually limping when we walked to the train. I said I was sad that I wouldn’t get to kiss him goodnight. Which was true. He was in pain. I was home in 20 minutes after he got off at his stop. I did something I didn’t usually do. I called him to tell him I was home okay. I asked if he was okay. We both told each other we had a great time. He said I looked really pretty in the dress. I told him he was pretty hot today as well and I could tell he blushed. I did reiterate I regret not kissing him goodnight and hoped we could rectify that next time. Next time. I could over think this. Why was I so turned on today other than the other days? Dunno. Not hormones. The pheromones were about 4 hours old at that point and I always spray them on the back of my neck and hair so he smells them, not me. I don’t know. Could be the sex talk. Could be that I’d been thinking about him. Could be he was more attractive when I thought I couldn’t have him. Could be the heat relaxing me or the yoga. Could simply be enough time spent with him. Could be the [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) and p78 but that combo did nothing for me on Tuesday. Dunno. This is slower than anything I’ve experienced before. Much . . . warmer rather than hot. Usually things are hot by this time. But I’m not going to overanalyze something that’s working. Houston, we have attraction. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Conjurator](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/conjurator/32/410_2.png) [@Conjurator](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Conjurator)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2016, 11:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/25 "2016-06-16T23:59:14Z")
Glad to see your patience paid off and that you’ve observed some results 🙂. Keep writing 🙂. ---
**Author:** ![Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Light_of_the_Moon)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2016, 3:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/26 "2016-06-17T03:43:00Z")
Oh, thank you for replying. I appreciate that. 🙂 I don’t know if I’m having results. That guy I was dating I had to really work hard that night. And then what? Nothing. Still one line e-mails from his phone “Good Morning. Enjoy the beautiful day.” And I stopped returning them. And I didn’t return one call. He called on Sunday at 1:30 to say he didn’t think I was still interested. After another 14-day break between dates? He was right, I wasn’t. But I was about to step out to do laundry and wasn’t ready to have that conversation right then. He said did I get his e-mail? I hadn’t even checked the internet. He wanted to meet that day. I said I’d been sick with a fever earlier in the week. But I was going out anyway. So I went. I told him I couldn’t go far. He was at the same place that we sat at two weeks before. The breeze was too much for my recently ill self. I kept feeling hot in the sun, cool in the breeze. I asked to go indoors. He suggested a nearby mall. Whatever. I had just stood up doing laundry for 90 minutes. Which I was carrying. We ended up at a McDonalds because they had seats. I was so tired. He handed me the money again and told me to get what I wanted. I thought about that and I handed it back and sat down. He bought me tea which is what I wanted. I was so hungry but I don’t eat McDonalds. We talked, though it was noisy. He asked why I was so covered up. And when he saw I had to blow my nose occasionally he realized I had really been sick. Then when I warmed up I took off my coat and he told me I looked nice. I had taken care with my appearance. I had thought we’d go to a quiet cafe and talk. I had thought he realized I had been sick. I had thought . . . he’d take care of me a bit. But no. He remarked how nice I had looked in the dress two weeks ago and how I hadn’t had a coat or a sweater. Yeah, because it had been 90 F out and I hadn’t been sick. I’ll stop here. Nothing happened. I went home. I carried my own clothes. I was tired. I was hungry. The grocery store was closed when I got back so I was really hungry. What pheromones did I wear? [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) only. I wanted to know what the deal was with this guy. A little Instant Shine (I’m running low.) And some Chanel No. 5 to cover them both because they still stink a lot. I do not understand men. Why does this guy want to just sit in the park with me? He sent me another one of those e-mails today. I have to have the talk with him. As for pheromones. It will never be easy to know if it’s my effort or the pheromones. So I don’t know if they really work or if they work because I work very hard which means it’s the hard work, not the 'mones. I have been buying aromatherapy oils and smelled . . . tada, Neroli! Um, Neroli smells really bad all on its own even without pheromones. Nothing like an orange. Like a deep, dark citrusy musk. Like if an orange had an armpit. Yes! That’s it. 🙂 At least I amuse myself in ye olde woman’s journal here. Hee. P.S. I had bought ballet tickets for him and on June 2nd to see Romeo and Juliet on the 20th. I had thought maybe it was time for me to treat for a date. I was trying to be fair. I thought he’d call to make plans that weekend. He didn’t. He called me once at 11:00pm on Monday, the 6th and I’d been so sleepy and feverish I couldn’t answer it fast enough and left it and conked back out. Nearly a week went by. I invited my best girlfriend instead and we’ll make a girl’s night of it. She’s coming in from out of town and by the time he called me back, she’d already bought her bus ticket. I have never said no to this guy about going out. He only has to ask. Moral of the story: If you like a woman, **ask her out**. Jesus Christ. I never told him about the ballet tickets. It actually hurt my feelings a bit that I had been planning something romantic and he didn’t call me for seven days. Forgettaboutit. ---
**Author:** ![justintime469](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/justintime469/32/1402_2.png) [@justintime469](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/justintime469)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2016, 11:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/27 "2016-06-17T11:43:51Z")
There are so many out there don’t settle and if things are not going the way you want with this guy just tell him. Just have fun with it and the dating thing. I kind of miss it at times and some parts of it I don’t though. I am into Essential Oil(EO) also. I like to turn them into colognes and wear them. I use PA and DPG to make them into a spray. ---
**Author:** ![Conjurator](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/conjurator/32/410_2.png) [@Conjurator](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Conjurator)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2016, 1:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/28 "2016-06-17T13:17:08Z")
Yes, I agree, maybe just talk to the guy and find out his intentions. Don’t worry, you won’t look desperate or anything by doing so, it just shows you know what you want. And at your age, that’s a must-have. If his intentions don’t fit yours, skip to the next. Plenty of fishes in the sea. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@Light\_of\_the\_Moon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Light_of_the_Moon)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2016, 7:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873/29 "2016-06-17T19:00:30Z")
Thank you both for the encouragement! I need it. I talked to my ex, who is now my friend about something that was pissing me off about something that he’d done. He had no clue I was mad, even though when I brought it up, he knew the exact incident. He didn’t even know I hadn’t spoken to him fro two weeks. (You see why I stopped dating him long ago.) He has no idea what to do, but I felt better getting my thoughts off my chest. With the guy on Sunday, I thought we’d go to a quiet cafe, have some tea and talk about things. I just couldn’t do it at the mall with all the families and kids crying and stuff. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t private. I don’t know what his intentions are or why he even wanted to see me. Men are so mysterious. Why don’t they ever ask anything? I can’t imagine he’s happy with never kissing me or nothing progressing. But he doesn’t escalate anything, either. It’s so confusing and a turn-off, honestly. But I will keep slinging through these folks to find the right one. If you’re off the market, thank that person right now. You don’t want to be out here, seriously. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/dance-by-the-light-of-the-moon/65873.md?page=1)