# Diary of a Madman (and a cat) **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [June 16, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780 "2011-06-16T21:08:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/1 "2011-06-16T21:08:21Z")
I’ve been exposed to mones a while now, but never quite picked up on any of the lingo or the community. A couple weeks ago, I decided to pop on the forums and read, which had my head whirling and said why not give it a shot again. Been reading up on posts, the mones I do have, what looks interesting, what are must haves, and what are don’t do’s. I think what triggered my interest was the last couple months, my mind has been on what makes people interested in you as a person. Personality, looks, status, etc. I think the innate want of women seeking taller men has made my eye twitch haha. Short women want taller men. Taller women want taller men. So what does a short guy have to do to even the playing field? He has to work twice as hard as someone born with a few extra inches (no pun intended). Amongst men, height and size plays a role too. I’m a skinny, 5’4" guy with somewhat effeminate features, shaves regularly, looks like he’s 19-20 vs the 27 I’m about to be. I’m okay with it, but I know when someone sees me, that’s the first thing they see. I had a girl completely write me off on a date because I was shorter than her. I was cute, nice, well dressed, but not tall enough. Wow. I had never felt so awful about my height. Mind you, I’ve dated a gal at 6’0" so that teaches you to get over issues of height quickly! This is me evening the playing field. I know behavior has a lot to do with reactions; being confident, standing straight, gauging reactions, charm, eye contact, etc. There’s a lot of borrowing from PUAs. Onto the actual mones, I figured I needed a preface. I received 5 to go bottles yesterday: [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/), IS, IO, mx297 and TUTH. Very happy! The new Ammo seriously smells like Tide. I guess women like their dirty boys to smell clean? haha. This was a surprise and I’ll see if I can’t try it over the weekend. I have a 30ml bottle of ammo from a year or so ago, and personally I like the way that smells, but I’m not the target so that’s irrelevant. IS and IO. I came to work and put three sprays of IS on my hair, throat and wrists, 2 sprays of IO on either side of my neck. It didn’t have any effect on me really, other than my head started to space after that 3rd spray of IS. My boss and I work in the same room, so I was curious to see how it would affect him. At first, nothing. Turned on the heater. He had a surprise visit from a former client and a potential client with her. They chatted a good hour about random things. My boss went off on a couple more random stories than usual. He seemed more gossipy. The girl tried to talk to me a few times, kept fidgeting around and pacing. That was weird. The other guy was quieter, but I think it was the language barrier since he’s French. After they left, silence again. Before my boss took off for a few hours, he was talking to me about a client of hours and dictating. He complimented me and said I was generally good and writing these things, sometimes I’m off my mark. I said hey, that was a backhanded compliment. “That’s the only kind I give”…I Laugh and a few seconds pause after. He said something really off the wall to himself but outloud about being “a depressed bitch”. And I said wait what? “Oh nothing, just saying it to myself”. Wow. Never ever heard him say something like that. Definitely more open than usual. Mx297. It smells kinda nice, thinking of trying it with IO or Ammo like Thundercat mentioned in his post - [Mx297 mix respitory](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mx297-mix-respitory/39239) Those seem like the best categories to try it out with. Half curious about the IH and Ammo mix. First I want to see what a lone reaction is and build from there. Wish I had P96..drat. TUTH. I put a minimal spitz into the cap and smelled it. Within a minute, I had a headache. Within 5 minutes I had a slight fog over my head. My alpha cat aptly named Tom (or Tomcat) came up to me and I put my hand out for him to smell. He sniffed it, paused and didn’t look too pleased. 5 minutes later I hear growling and hissing, cat attack noises. I go to investigate and Tom was going batshit with the other cats. I had to place him in his carrier for a few hours to chill out. Kitty rage! lol. I looked it up and anone is the active ingredient in TUTH. I so happened to have a 30ml bottle of it. Smelled it. On came the headache and brain fog. Anyone have any idea about this one? I think that’s all I have to muster for now. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 6:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/2 "2011-06-18T06:03:44Z")
Today I was shooting photos for an online interview I’m working on for a skate magazine. I figured since I was going to be out and about, might as well try some pheros. The guy I’m working with is a couple years older, so I figured I’d use some IG and IO, one so he feels I’m a bit older, the other so he feels at ease to shoot. The last time, it seemed like he wasn’t too sure of himself around me. A tad hesitant to talk. I put one spray of IG on my wrist and one in my hair, one spray of IO on each side of my neck. Before I picked the guy up, I went to my bank. No response from my teller. But when I go to the front desk to get my ticket validated, something different happened. The woman is in her late 30s, a curvy gal. She usually just says hi and thank you when I thank her for my validation. This time, she smiles, asks if I’m glad it’s friday. I say Oh yeah, so glad. She smiles again, and says, “Here you go hun” as she hands me my ticket. I’d say that’s a hit. Then while shooting, a kind of tall black girl, somewhat hipsterish, walks by. I keep eye contact and as she walks by me, smiles for a few seconds and walks away. That was odd. As far as the skater, he did seem a bit more at ease, talked a bit more about his past than I had heard him say previously. Even about his hometown history back in Oklahoma. He’s been a tad tight lipped, but the mones are easing that. Banged out the photo we wanted early on, but it seems the longer the day went on, the less he talked. The pheros drying out? As for myself, I noticed the mix made me a tad ditzy. I made wrong turns more than usual, told the teller the wrong amount I wanted transferred. But I did figure out my lighting set up faster than usual. So today I learned I need more sprays for IG to be effective, and my hair is probably the best place to diffuse IG, because I’ve tried it on my neck before with little effect. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/3 "2011-06-19T19:45:56Z")
The Mx297 Test. I went a little stir crazy and decided to get out of the house for a little while.\* Figured I’d go to the starbucks by my house to read and see if mx297 has any effect.\* 2 sprays into my hair.\* For the hell of it, rolled on my ammo/Stella perfume mix on either side of my neck. First thing I noticed is mx297 smells very different than the other pheros I’ve smelled so far.\* It has an almost herby-mint smell.\* It’s not offensive, but it’s just an unusual smell.\* I kept getting whiffs of it during the walk, which made me pause and look. Very odd. I got to the starbucks and it was relatively empty.\* I ended up sitting a table over from a tall dirty blonde who was engulfed in writing an email.\* Every so often, she would look up and look at me.\* Which I noticed and looked up at her.\* She had a confused look on her face each time.\* In total, I think she looked up at me 5-6 times.\* There were two instances of direct eye contact for a couple seconds. I\* couldn’t concentrate anymore and decided to walk home.\* I ran into my two friends talking outside (one is 55 M and the other 30 F).\* The girl gives me a big tight hug and just wouldn’t let go.\* I stood next to her and put an arm over her.\* She’s a short gal, with her head barely making it to my neck (ammo placement?).\* We had our hands draped over each other for a good 15 minutes.\* And every so often, she kept leaning in for a tight hug and burying her face into me.\* Maybe it was just me, but her hand was wrapped around my waist, occasionally tugging.\* She is shorter which makes sense, but I had my arm at her shoulder.\* Definitely seemed like more dating behavior than friends.\* Now, the entire time, she was talking to me vaguely about her troubles and boy troubles. uhm? Our other friend left, and she was off to visit a friend, but she wouldn’t let me leave.\* So off I hopped into her car.\* A short drive later, I end up at a latin medicinal shop.\* She ends up talking to her friend in spanish for a good hour or so.\* I understand spanish, but I speak it poorly, which made that a silent conversation for me.\* Off we go.\* I figured she was going to drop me off at home.\* Nope.\* She even said, “we’re in the middle of a conversation, so you’re not going anywhere.” oh hell, the mx297 won’t shut her up.\* lol.\* We went back to her place, and she was a lot more open about what was troubling her.\* I give her my advice.\* She says she had a headache.\* I first thing is it the mix?\* I asked if she had eaten or drank anything.\* Besides a coke, and just the meat from a subway sandwich, no. I had her drink 3 giant cups of water.\* She kept wanting to drink a smirnoff instead.\* Eventually we’re on the road again for he to get a snack.\* We get back to her place and talk some more. Then off again for drinks and back again.\* We both had one each.\* It’s been 6 hours since I ran into her initially.\* the last 30 minutes she calmed down and stopped talking, but that was her distracting in facebook on her phone.\* I said I was going to go home.\* I lived 2 blocks up a hill from her.\* I’ll walk, no biggie.\* Nope, she promptly got off her phone and said she’d drive me home.\* No really, it’s fine.\* “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t make sure you got home?”\* Okay, got a ride home and a few good hugs and thank yous for the advice. Well that was something else.\* Oh heck.\* I almost forgot to mention.\* I told her about a bar up the street from the latin place and I had gone out on a date there.\* She immediately raised her voice and inquired about said date in the way a gf would, in the “How long ago” way. I downplayed it somehow.\* A while later, she was busy (we made a pit stop at a donut shop) and I went to check my email on my phone.\* She raises her voice and says “Who’s the girl you’re texting!?” lol I said I wasn’t.\* She it again a little later, different wording.\* The mx297 seemed slow to warm up in my hair. Maybe one spray in hair and one on neck/throat next time.\* But on hot days where I sweat more, increasing diffusion, pheros seem to work better there.\* Will need to test sweet spots more. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/4 "2011-06-19T19:47:49Z")
I went a little stir crazy and decided to get out of the house for a little while. Figured I’d go to the starbucks by my house to read and see if mx297 has any effect. 2 sprays into my hair. For the hell of it, rolled on my ammo/Stella perfume mix on either side of my neck. First thing I noticed is mx297 smells very different than the other pheros I’ve smelled so far. It has an almost herby-mint smell. It’s not offensive, but it’s just an unusual smell. I kept getting whiffs of it during the walk, which made me pause and look. Very odd. I got to the starbucks and it was relatively empty. I ended up sitting a table over from a tall dirty blonde who was engulfed in writing an email. Every so often, she would look up and look at me. Which I noticed and looked up at her. She had a confused look on her face each time. In total, I think she looked up at me 5-6 times. There were two instances of direct eye contact for a couple seconds. I couldn’t concentrate anymore and decided to walk home. I ran into my two friends talking outside (one is 55 M and the other 30 F). The girl gives me a big tight hug and just wouldn’t let go. I stood next to her and put an arm over her. She’s a short gal, with her head barely making it to my neck (ammo placement?). We had our hands draped over each other for a good 15 minutes. And every so often, she kept leaning in for a tight hug and burying her face into me. Maybe it was just me, but her hand was wrapped around my waist, occasionally tugging. She is shorter which makes sense, but I had my arm at her shoulder. Definitely seemed like more dating behavior than friends. Now, the entire time, she was talking to me vaguely about her troubles and boy troubles. uhm? Our other friend left, and she was off to visit a friend, but she wouldn’t let me leave. So off I hopped into her car. A short drive later, I end up at a latin medicinal shop. She ends up talking to her friend in spanish for a good hour or so. I understand spanish, but I speak it poorly, which made that a silent conversation for me. Off we go. I figured she was going to drop me off at home. Nope. She even said, "we’re in the middle of a conversation, so you’re not going anywhere." oh hell, the mx297 won’t shut her up. lol. We went back to her place, and she was a lot more open about what was troubling her. I give her my advice. She says she had a headache. I first thing is it the mix? I asked if she had eaten or drank anything. Besides a coke, and just the meat from a subway sandwich, no. I had her drink 3 giant cups of water. She kept wanting to drink a smirnoff instead. Eventually we’re on the road again for he to get a snack. We get back to her place and talk some more. Then off again for drinks and back again. We both had one each. It’s been 6 hours since I ran into her initially. the last 30 minutes she calmed down and stopped talking, but that was her distracting in facebook on her phone. I said I was going to go home. I lived 2 blocks up a hill from her. I’ll walk, no biggie. Nope, she promptly got off her phone and said she’d drive me home. No really, it’s fine. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t make sure you got home?”. Okay, got a ride home and a few good hugs and thank yous for the advice. Well that was something else. Oh heck. I almost forgot to mention. I told her about a bar up the street from the latin place and I had gone out on a date there. She immediately raised her voice and inquired about said date in the way a gf would, in the “How long ago” way. I downplayed it somehow. A while later, she was busy (we made a pit stop at a donut shop) and I went to check my email on my phone. She raises her voice and says “Who’s the girl you’re texting!?” lol I said I wasn’t. She it again a little later, different wording. The mx297 seemed slow to warm up in my hair. Maybe one spray in hair and one on neck/throat next time. But on hot days where I sweat more, increasing diffusion, pheros seem to work better there. Will need to test sweet spots more. ---
**Author:** ![rohitiyer10](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ad7895/32.png) [@rohitiyer10](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/rohitiyer10)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/5 "2011-06-19T20:11:17Z")
> [@skittishsynapses](#): > > I went a little stir crazy and decided to get out of the house for a little while. Figured I’d go to the starbucks by my house to read and see if mx297 has any effect. 2 sprays into my hair. For the hell of it, rolled on my ammo/Stella perfume mix on either side of my neck. > > First thing I noticed is mx297 smells very different than the other pheros I’ve smelled so far. It has an almost herby-mint smell. It’s not offensive, but it’s just an unusual smell. I kept getting whiffs of it during the walk, which made me pause and look. Very odd. > > I got to the starbucks and it was relatively empty. I ended up sitting a table over from a tall dirty blonde who was engulfed in writing an email. Every so often, she would look up and look at me. Which I noticed and looked up at her. She had a confused look on her face each time. In total, I think she looked up at me 5-6 times. There were two instances of direct eye contact for a couple seconds. > > I couldn’t concentrate anymore and decided to walk home. I ran into my two friends talking outside (one is 55 M and the other 30 F). The girl gives me a big tight hug and just wouldn’t let go. I stood next to her and put an arm over her. She’s a short gal, with her head barely making it to my neck (ammo placement?). We had our hands draped over each other for a good 15 minutes. And every so often, she kept leaning in for a tight hug and burying her face into me. Maybe it was just me, but her hand was wrapped around my waist, occasionally tugging. She is shorter which makes sense, but I had my arm at her shoulder. Definitely seemed like more dating behavior than friends. > > Now, the entire time, she was talking to me vaguely about her troubles and boy troubles. uhm? Our other friend left, and she was off to visit a friend, but she wouldn’t let me leave. So off I hopped into her car. A short drive later, I end up at a latin medicinal shop. She ends up talking to her friend in spanish for a good hour or so. I understand spanish, but I speak it poorly, which made that a silent conversation for me. Off we go. I figured she was going to drop me off at home. Nope. She even said, "we’re in the middle of a conversation, so you’re not going anywhere." oh hell, the mx297 won’t shut her up. lol. > > We went back to her place, and she was a lot more open about what was troubling her. I give her my advice. She says she had a headache. I first thing is it the mix? I asked if she had eaten or drank anything. Besides a coke, and just the meat from a subway sandwich, no. I had her drink 3 giant cups of water. She kept wanting to drink a smirnoff instead. Eventually we’re on the road again for he to get a snack. We get back to her place and talk some more. Then off again for drinks and back again. We both had one each. It’s been 6 hours since I ran into her initially. the last 30 minutes she calmed down and stopped talking, but that was her distracting in facebook on her phone. I said I was going to go home. I lived 2 blocks up a hill from her. I’ll walk, no biggie. Nope, she promptly got off her phone and said she’d drive me home. No really, it’s fine. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t make sure you got home?”. Okay, got a ride home and a few good hugs and thank yous for the advice. > > Well that was something else. Oh heck. I almost forgot to mention. I told her about a bar up the street from the latin place and I had gone out on a date there. She immediately raised her voice and inquired about said date in the way a gf would, in the “How long ago” way. I downplayed it somehow. A while later, she was busy (we made a pit stop at a donut shop) and I went to check my email on my phone. She raises her voice and says “Who’s the girl you’re texting!?” lol I said I wasn’t. She it again a little later, different wording. > > The mx297 seemed slow to warm up in my hair. Maybe one spray in hair and one on neck/throat next time. But on hot days where I sweat more, increasing diffusion, pheros seem to work better there. Will need to test sweet spots more. Alright dude… she wanted to hookup. Plain and simple. She made so many subtle ‘excuses’ waiting for you to escalate. She was just waiting fo ryou to give her the smallest inclination for doing so. Now i’m not sure if you’re into her at all but all the signs were there. IMO the next time she asks if there’s a girl texting, I’d either say ‘it’s complicated’, or ‘some chick I gave my number to at the bar the other night… nothing serious though’. Then change the convo to something lighthearted like “whats on the agenda for tonight?” Either way, great report… Seems like your combo of mx297 and ammo gave you blatant hits from her. Def. run that combo again when you’re with her. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/6 "2011-06-19T22:16:50Z")
When I first met her, we were interested in each other. We had our share of issues going on, and she still does. It’s off-putting, but she’s a good friend. She was talking to me the entire night about some guy she’s interested in who works at that starbucks. She couldn’t figure out how to approach asking him out on a date. I gave my thoughts. I wasn’t looking for hits from her, but it was curious watching all these blatant hits. I kept trying to go home and she’d reel me back in. Usually with the precursor, “it’ll only be quick” or something to that effect. I wasn’t looking to escalate things though. What trips me out and makes me chuckle a little is I ran a mix at a club a couple years ago (damned if I know what I used), and while sitting on a bench, both her and her friend chatted me up, and have maintained some sort of interest in me since. But you are right in the texting approach had I been moving it that way. I was keenly aware that I had been negging her the entire time without trying. Told her she had freckles all over, and she asked was that bad? She hates them. No, they look fine. There was a lot of that push-pull from me. The mx297 in retrospect did help my confidence. Or maybe because I’m comfortable around her? Those hugs were definitely tight and boob squishing though. Not exactly friend hugs. haha. I’ll test out the combo soon as I see her. It’s usually about once a month, and usually at that starbucks, so we’ll see if I can sneak the mix in there. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 7:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/7 "2011-06-23T07:19:27Z")
Another day in the office. I was late to work today by a good hour. My alarm didn’t go off and I had 10 minutes to get out the door. Showered and clothed myself. Figured since I was going to be in trouble, I’d wear IS and IG. I’m not sure I’m using them for the correct reasons, but I’m learning what they do in various situations. One spritz on my wrist, rubbed on neck and IS sprayed to the throat. Well, it gets interesting. The boss wasn’t upset, but the entire day he seemed a tad irritated, who wouldn’t be. As the day progressed, it seemed like he was throwing more work at me than usual, and expected me to just know certain things someone more experienced would know. A client is a Dr and I had to send him some confirmation info. He shot down what I wrote, but in a weird nice way told me how I needed to write it ‘so I knew’ because well, the guy’s a dr. I mean he wasn’t upset, but it was weird that he expected me to just know certain things. But damned if there wasn’t a ton of work. Mind you, it’s been slow a while now, but it seemed like he wanted me to act my age? I’m 27. And he knows I was never in this job to do the kind of work he is asking me to do. A potential client comes in 6 or so hours after I came in. It’s a latin actress with quite a few shows and some movies coming out. She’s there to talk and take on his services. She’s there an hour. The entire time she’s talking to my boss, she would turn every few minutes and smile at me and bring me into the conversation. Normally, potential clients don’t talk to me, they pay attention to my boss. That makes total sense, he’s the publicist. I’m just an assistant/tech guy/the jack of all trades. So. Why she kept smiling at me? No idea. But I didn’t notice her smile a whole lot at my boss. He didn’t really smile back, just light ones..but not often. That was weird. She did sign with him though. Side note. Oh and I happened to have a small amount of mx138, liquid sunshine if I remember right. I accidentally spilled some on my table at home, and said screw it, dabbed it on my neck and rubbed off the rest off the table. 5 minutes later, I noticed my sternum started to hurt. It had a weighty, almost throbbing sensation, dead center. It lasted a good half hour or so. On the plus side, I was in a good mood while it happened! ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 8:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/8 "2011-06-25T08:16:52Z")
A day with A314. I just got a package from Aggie and he was so kind enough to include some a314. I’ve heard mixed feelings about the scent. I like it (it’s aukto if I remember right), but it does have a smell akin to the smell I have after I’ve been skating all day. It’s not the foul smell, but of having sweated. I put a drop on my finger and smeared it across my neck/the sides. It was a warm 80 degree day. Kind of muggy. Downtown LA, bank. I walk in. Security guard smiles and says hi. He always does. Teller asks me how I’m doing (usual). She double checks her numbers and warns me about a few things that might charge me and advices me ways around that. Not unusual either. I’m thinking well this had zero effect. I go up to the head desk to get my ticket validated by woman at the desk, she’s completely quiet and tells me in a serious tone “You have 14 minutes remaining.” The last time I had IG on, she chatted me up, smiled and told me to “have a good day hun.” Huge difference in attitude. Post office was uneventful and the woman at the counter told me there was a strike in Canada so I couldn’t mail anything. So far, I’ve noticed he self effect of holding my head up and feeling a bit more confident. Catching myself stare at women who are way out of my league. Drove to a starbucks I hang out at by my place. My friend Bob, in his 50s or early 60s talks to me. He’s had a bad day regarding his roommate. He normally is evasive about his problems around me but he spilled the beans about the thing. He had drank a 40 by the time I talked to him. My friend Siouxie comes by and hugs me, and as I reach out I clearly got boobed in the hand and arm..I mean I tried avoiding..but she didn’t seem to mind that I clearly had a fair amount of her boob. Very odd. She seemed less talkative to me though. I was talked to less in general which was unusual. 3 hours later, I’m talking to my friend David. He ran into me and talked about his job as a photog assistant and retoucher. Tells me all about the cool things going on;the guy letting him run off with gear for personal use, working on so and so projects, etc. And then I get the, “so how are things going with your photography?” question. The tone sounded a tad competitive. He’s a cool guy, but it’s odd how he came off. Or it was in my head. I decided to sit in my car and just lay in peace. After a while I didn’t want to talk to anyone, just seclude myself. And at the end of the night, I just didn’t have any confidence. I might get a gig shooting photos at Comic-con in SD for an after party and I was asked to send in some sample photos. Fretted a bit about that. Ugh, still have to worry about where I’d stay the night or if I would just sleep in my car. The pay for the gig isn’t much but I know it could open other doors. I’m not sure why I feel so apathetic now. Oh and the cats have been listening to me a bit more today. haha. Go figure. Will try two drops in a few days. ---
**Author:** ![rohitiyer10](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ad7895/32.png) [@rohitiyer10](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/rohitiyer10)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/9 "2011-06-27T22:01:59Z")
Hmmm… seems kinda odd for A314 to have those effects. Do you think you were intimidating some people? I mean it was only 1 drop so I would think not. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/10 "2011-06-28T05:31:23Z")
I wasn’t sure what to expect with a314 on me Rohityer. My guess is it’s not a vibe they’re used to me putting out. I’m not a particularly alpha person, so maybe they were taken aback and a tad weary? Your guess is as good as mine. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/11 "2011-06-28T05:55:11Z")
My birthday, Sunday. I was exhausted on Sunday and decided I didn’t want to write up a report at 1 am lol. I celebrated b-day #27, with no plans in mind, just that I was going to go out with my friends. I went to pick up my friend around 1 PM. It’s a hot LA day, at around 85, with a fair amount of humidity. I decided to test out A314 again, see if it would let me direct my friends better. I used 1 drop of A314 smeared on either side of my neck. 2 sprays of IH and 2 Sprays of IO at the throat/arms. I forget where I spritzed it, but 1 spray of IS to steer the CTTM-ish mix. It’s a 50/50 mix for CTTM, but users have reported it not being as effective. Figured hey, if IS steers people towards you, maybe that might round the mix. I picked up my friend and we chatted about our friend who has one terrible idea of what it’s like to be an adult at 29. I feel like his older brother and always have since we were in high school. The conversation was fairly honest on both ends. Came back to my place to wait for the pickup to skate. I still ended up having to drive. Got to skate spot. Yes, I’m celebrating my birthday by enjoying something youthful. Had a few beers. Friends don’t seem to be affected. Skated a good while. Only thing I noticed was my friends were also taken a tad back. Friendly. My alcoholic friend let me get away with not drinking more than 3 beers or trying to get me high. He is the king at peer pressure. I skated with more confidence though. Sure I fell, but I tried some rather hard tricks in a line (one after another). Even things I am not usually comfortable trying landed within a try or two. The a314 seemed like it boosted my confidence. The park we were at was in a semi ghetto area. Going to sound soo racisist and I’m sorry in advanced.. 4-5 black men were on the ledge we were skating. No one wanted to tell them to get off. They were a lot bigger than us. I don’t know why I went over and asked them to get off because I was afraid we’d hit them. Which I was. I’m 5’4", these guys are 5’10" and buff. They said hey no problem, it’s cool and instead of moving one ledge over, they leave completely and go to the playground a bit aways. My friend rolls up and says “you have balls on your birthday!” lol. I was at that park about 5-6 hours. I didn’t notice effects on anyone else but myself. I ended up filming a friend do a run at a skate competition. nothing too eventful after this happened. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/12 "2011-06-28T06:47:32Z")
Monday at work, mx297/ammo I wasn’t going to wear any pheros today, but I realized the new intern started today, Danielle. I handle the intern postings, sorting the resumes, passing them on to the boss. So I had conversed with her a good dozen times since she emailed us in May. I met her once during the interview and sat to the side and behind her so I wasn’t directly involved during her interview. She would be sitting 5 feet behind and to the left of me and I sit in front of a window I can open. I figured okay this is evil, but here’s a new girl I can target who will be the single subject to test out how the mones work on me. I gave myself 3 sprays of Mx297, 1 spray each on my left, right and back side of my neck. On an impulse I rolled on some of my Stella/ammo (neroli) mix on either side of my neck, crease of elbows. Figured I would run this mix on someone who I have practically never interacted with. Read interactions from my first use. At first, I think nope, not working. But it is her first day, she’s nervous. She’s 20, still in college, english major. Pretty but average. shorts, t shirt, flip flops. As the tech guy, I need to run her through the basics of our setup and mac commands. I’m 2 ft away with her for 10 minutes, with a breeze coming in. I felt rather confident and ran her through pitches, stuff about the client she’s working on, etc. Stuff the boss would normally run interns through and I sit back and watch. Boss just sits at his computer letting me do my thing. Chimed in once, but only in addition, not in correction. That’s new. Boss takes off to lunch. I do my thing online by checking email, androtics (oops lol), etc. D asks me questions every now and then. I try to chat her up and ask random questions - why PR, her interests, what she’s in school for, about school, her english dept (I went to school for english). She talks, but she seems nervous, fidgety. I kept an eye out, kept noticing she was playing with the tips of her hair, looking down (not at her laptop), a bit anxious. I go to wash grapes off, come back. She asks if it’s okay to eat lunch. Sure it is, full kitchen off to the side. She pulls out her lunch. I try starting random conversations. That’s really unusual for me. Work progressed on. Boss gets in. She’s due to leave at 3pm. I’m still being asked random questions. Especially things the boss could answer no problem I think. But I can see how asking the boss is intimidating. 3 rolls around, she doesn’t leave. Maybe 4 PM. Still nothing. I know for a fact we had emailed her with her hours. My boss asks her what time she was going to leave. We usually send home interns around 3-4pm. I forget her response, but it was along the lines of when she’s finished. Around 5 pm she asks me if she had to finish this media list she’s working on. I say na, you can finish Wednesday. So she packs up, says bye to my boss and turns to me and says bye to me by name. That was strange. I said bye and see her wednesday. Why would you ask me if it was okay to go and not the boss? Now for the oddities I’ve omitted in this narration so far While the boss was at lunch, she asked me about a pitch she’s working on and give it a look over. I read it and the first thing I notice is she’s pitching the blog she’s looking at…to themselves. Uhm…So I explain to her what she’s going. She seemed a bit hazed. Mind you, I’ve moved in close again to read her screen. Takes her a few minutes, apologizes and says she gets it. She made some comment about being confused. She’s white, and has gold/hazel eyes. I kept looking at her pupils to see dilation. They were mid sized. Not aroused, just average. She would make eye contact for a second or two (rather I would try to and not stare at anything below the neck). She was fidgety and wouldn’t look at me directly or looked down often. I would occasionally realize I was staring and looked elsewhere when she asked questions. Trust me, she asked a ton of questions, but it’s the first day right? Now with me. Boss is quiet. As usual. Makes a few jokes, but not as detrimental as his usual ones. haha. He’s a queeny gay man. Enough said. lol. There was a brief exchange of words we had that struck me as more of an equal than an employee. Much like when I tried IS/IO at work, he gave me a ton of work. I mean as soon as I was working on something, he gave me something else to do. Admittedly he has joked with me in the past that he has an ADD like tendency to go from one thing to the next. But I was expected to work on the client, run the intern through what to do, two press kits (one from scratch and updating the other), pitching, emailing, etc. Nuts. He took off early. He gave me enough work so I had to stay an extra hour. After D leaves, at around the 6-7 hr application point, I start to feel tired. I kept noticing that having had only 4 hours of sleep, I was surprisingly awake. 5pm rolls around and I’m crashing. I can’t concentrate well. Could be blood sugar dropping because I haven’t eaten. I deleted one of the presskits and I need to recover it wed. lol. I forgot random things. Still didn’t finish the ton of emails I had to send out. Came home. Went to get Hookah supplies. Chatted the hell out of the clerk that usually helps me. Very out of character. Asking him about his shift, how he’s been (been weeks since I’ve swung by), flavors, his gf, etc. You could tell he was surprised and maybe a tad weirded out that I was so animated. I was just as surprised.. And here I am! The end of this long long entry! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/13 "2011-06-28T19:03:39Z")
Cats like mones I got 4 bottles yesterday - p114, more mx297, shine, a314 to-go b. Undid the bubble wrap and laid it flat on my vanity. Noticed blackie, the black cat I have, has taken to sleeping on it all of yesterday night. Soon as she got up, Kitcat, a maine coon, hopped up, sniffed around all over there. She laid down on the wrap a few minutes. I stopped paying attention as it was 3-4 am. Woke up around 11 and noticed Blackie was back on the wrap. Not sure it has anything to do with [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/), but it strikes me as odd. Especially since neither of them sleeps up on the vanity usually. My next experiment should be to buy bubble wrap and spray it in different mones to see the effects on the cats. lol. I mean they use cats in bio experiments because their brains are similar to ours due to their socializing nature. It would be a wasteful experiment but I’m just musing on my day off… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/14 "2011-06-29T22:18:18Z")
P114 - First Test As TAF has been out of the store for a while now, I went searching for alternatives that would have a similar affect on concentration. I picked up on 1Alpha’s post, [Mones that will clear up brain fog](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mones-that-will-clear-up-brain-fog/42569), which made this search far easier. I loved TAF because of it’s ability to almost instantaneously ‘wake’ me up and make me concentrate.\* I would compare it to a skating term we call being ‘Juiced’ - being in the zone, hyped, somewhat elated but with a clear ability to focus on the task at hand.\* I found myself using TAF to skate because it mimicked that state to a fair degree.\* I’ve lost my to go bottle of TAF that electracomplex gave me ages ago. Damn.\* So that’s the reason to search for new alternatives. P90 if I recall right is a concentrating mone, but it’s more about empathy. Someone mentioned in jest that in high doses, it’s telepathic because he thought he had to scratch his head like crazy and someone a few feet away actually did. lol.\* Electra has some I think I’ll fool around with because I’m a bit lacking in that area.\* P79 intensifies the other mones, but it focuses concentration on 3D movements, the way a body moves in that space and has a warm feeling to it if I remember right.\* IS to concentrate?\* New one to me and I’ll have to test that too.\* p93 I don’t think is in stock. Which leaves P114. Someone said if TAF was like looking at the world through your eyes, P114 was like looking at it through a pinhole. It also had caused visual sharpness in some testers, which intrigues me about it’s applications in photography and skating. Trust me, with the latter, knowing you’re dead on is the difference between landing your trick and going home broken. I ordered a 10mcg 30ml bottle to test it out. Figured I would try it out yesterday since I had the day off. 1 spray to my neck/throat around 4 pm. I had an errand to run, so I hopped in my car. I’m about a mile or two from the freeway. After the first block I already knew it was going to be an interesting ride. I had to concentrate on not being so single focused. I would look at the sky and get distracted. A stop light. Another car. Anything. And be entranced til I remembered to wake up. lol. Hopping on the freeway intense. Going 75 with the railing to your left and thinking wow..it’s zooming by so fast…concentrate..don’t wanna die…lol. With all the windows opened it helped air out the car. Got to my destination, an armenian supermarket named Jons. I spent an hour and some there. Putted around and kept looking at everything. It was as if I kept going over the same places of the store looking for new things. I’d eye new items, look at something else and get distracted. I did find Potato based Vodka finally! I could not for the life of me stay still. I paid and went home. Arrived around 6 PM. The effects seem to have worn off, so I spray myself again. Funny, this time it doesn’t seem to have any effect. At least I thought so. I ate some baklava and decided to smoke some hookah. The damnedest thing happened. No matter how much I smoked, I wasn’t getting light headed as I usually do. Smoked a few more times that night. Same thing happened. I was surprisingly alert. I was reading up on the board ad watching terminator. My attention wasn’t split very fair, but it wasn’t as bad as driving. 9 PM rolls around and I think what the hell, let’s go for one more before bedtime (which isn’t until 2-3 AM anyway). I feel alert. Not tired whatsoever. More hookah. I’ll usually lay down after a bowl to myself. Still researching until AD went down. Watched the webcast on tab around 11. About 12-2AM concentration was waning. I stopped paying attention to Netflix. Messed around online. Still very awake. Laid down to watch show and literally passed out while lucid. In a blink. Woke up earlier than usual at 8 AM. Went to bed. Woke up 8:51 and felt like I got a ton of sleep. Feeling well rested and actually got up, showered, got dressed earlier than I would have normally. By 9:20 I had done everything and even ate. I don’t get up until 9:20 usually and I’m groggy. 9:40. Made tea and wrote half this report before going to work. The visual focusing is strange, and I did notice I could read my computer screen better. I usually need to wear my light prescription reading glasses, which I don’t anyway. Didn’t each very much. It seemed to suppress appetite. That or you’re so focused on whatever you’re doing, that eating isn’t important. Or the tobacco was acting as a suppressant. As far as I could tell, there were no effects on anyone else. Will be testing this further. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/15 "2011-07-01T02:41:44Z")
P90, 1st test So I snagged some p90 (15mcg) like I said I was going to. Well, concentration isn’t the word I would use to describe the effects. I sprayed some on before work around 9:40. Didn’t feel anything at first but I noticed I could ‘sense’ the pheros seconds after. I got in my car and drove off on my merry way. I noticed my reactions were slightly off, but nothing out of the ordinary. I thought to myself at least I don’t have singular focus like p114. about 10 minutes in I feel like driving is a daydream, still lucid but my thoughts felt fuzzy. 15-17 minutes in I thought to myself wow, this car ride feels so long. Like I had been driving for 40 minutes or more, but I know it hasn’t because traffic is clear and I’m only 5 minutes away from the office. I pull in and make my way upstairs. I don’t feel as active and I feel like I’m taking my time doing everything. I pay attention to what I’m doing at a slower rate. I usually work on several things at once. Looking back, it was closer to one thing at a time. A bad thing when it comes to being around my boss. He would tell me to do something and I’d space out, missing his instructions and asking what he said. I opted not to spray again until 2pm when he takes off to pick up his kid for 2 hours. I couldn’t concentrate on any actual computer work so I opted to clean out a supply closet I’ve wanting to clear up for weeks. The door won’t close shut at all. Yeah. Time to clean. I turn on some music and get to cleaning/organizing. That felt just fine. The music helped pushed me along. 3:30 rolls around and I think oh I have half an hour to work on the research list I should be looking up. I felt like it was far longer than half an hour yet again. But I got the list done! It should have taken longer. He strolls in with his kiddo. Damned if I remember what I did for the next hour and a half. Right now, it’s all a daze as I type this. Left around 5:45. Talked on the phone and came in. Kept spacing out on conversation and asking for repetition. Even on subjects I initiated. Got in the door. Right now, I’m still feeling dazed and confused. Maybe I should pop on Led Zepplin? hehe. The only moment that struck me odd was turning on Dead Zone on netflix (never seen the series) and there’s brother/sister reunion in the first episode. I have some trouble empathizing with people in real life but in books and films, it’s easier. No idea why. I would have welled up a little, but I was on the verge of tearing up, up until the scene cut and things relaxed. But it felt stronger than usual. I should watch a drama with p90 on and see what happens. Not digging this stuff very much because of the sedated effects I’m encountering. Testing p114 again tomorrow methinks. Anyone have similar effects? ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 8:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/16 "2011-07-05T08:11:46Z")
Weekend Testing… I’ve been a bit off in the clouds the past few days, but I thought I’d share some random results I’ve had with P114, P78, A314 and IS. Friday Another hot LA day and I went to the bank. That seems to be my testing ground for trying new things out. I’ve been going there for years, so the tellers and staff know me well. It’s a small town feeling without the small town. I wanted to try P114 yet again because my experience with p90 has left me less than interested in trying that again. I know I’ll have to at some point, but the effects were quite off-putting. But that’s beside the point. 🙂 I decided I’d try out P114 (10mcg) and just for the heck of it, P78 (15mcg). I figured if I could use the focusing power of the former and the socializing factor of the latter, maybe I’d get interesting results. One spray of P114 on my throat and two dabs each of P78 by my ears (I’m very low on it atm). It took 5 -10 minutes to drive to my bank on a hot day. Damned if I’m not glad to drive a convertible hehe. Got to the bank and went up to the teller. Ended up with my favorite teller, an asian woman in her 40s or 50s. Deposits take 20-30 seconds with her max. She’s quick and always smiling. She asked me how I was and I said good, glad it was the weekend and glad to get a day off. I asked her what she would be up to? She says just hanging out with friends and watching her chinese soap operas. I said really, where do you watch chinese soap operas? She tells me she has a converter that gives her a ton of channels. The details are a little fuzzy but it last a good 2+ minutes. There were people waiting in line still lol. So I had to bid her adieu til next time. I had to get my ticket validated, so I went up to the front desk to the other woman that’s super receptive to the mones (latina by the way if I haven’t mentioned that before). She’s back to smiling. validates my ticket and we talk. I forget what started it but we got into a conversation about actualizing our feelings into states. If you feel bad, you’ll project these things into psychosomatic symptoms. But if you feel good, you’ll have a good day. She told me about a book she was reading on the topic. It was a fairly interesting and detailed conversation for a few minutes with a woman I know solely through the bank. Someone was also in back of me so I knew I had to step out of the way, and as soon as they left, a call. So I decided to leave. I think this was the most I have learned about either of them. Definitely the P78, but I also felt like I knew how to direct conversation. Dare I say I felt compelled to try to converse? It was very out of character for me. I went to the starbucks I hang out at a bit later. No one seems to be responding to the mixes, but then again my friend Bill is chatting with me, but he’s normally very talkative. After an couple hours it seems the P114 dissipates completely. On a hot day, even more so. But I did get some residuals talking to two of the baristas that doesn’t normally talk to me and one of them that had just tricked his boss into laying him off. lol. I got a hello and I think a handshake from the former and the other guy talked to me a little, but I think I’ve only met him once in the last few years. Edit. I should also mention I am not getting the crazy response I was getting the first time I tried P114. The focusing is there, but driving was not insane like it was going 70 on the freeway. haha. It seems like it is a first time user effect. I do notice I am a tad more distracted and staring out the window of my car, noticing things on the street or minute details. Single sprays. I’ll try doubling up tomorrow during a photo shoot if it goes down. Sunday I’m an organizer for a big skate session that happens once a month 1st sunday. It’s me and two other guys that pick a skate park, post it around, send it to friends, tell everyone about it and mob the park. This is our 5th one now this year. A friend asked me if I was interested in the idea after I organized 25 people or so to meet up on superbowl sunday to skate early in the morning. That’s a big number for rollerbladers. So we’ve been doing them officially since March. I was going to be the only organizer out of us three there, which meant I had to film the damn thing too to make a skate edit. Not what I wanted to do, but that’s okay. Figured I would put on a drop of A314 and buffer it with 2-3 shots of instant shine. I did that right after I got out of the car. It’s 11AM and 90 degrees out. I get hellos, people seem to be standing back a few feet. Very proper hellos for a bunch of guys on skates. lol. No one asks me about filming for a good hour. I skate a little, tell people the ice cooler is full of water (bought 48 water bottles and ice to share cause I’m a nice guy and I don’t want them to cook). I’m skating around and saying my hellos. I think for the first hour or two I’m good. I started to film because things were getting good. I noticed a while later I was getting the usual requests to film tricks. Film this, film that, can you film me? Ugh. One guy gave up on his trick (he’s a few years older and was a pro 5 years ago, still sponsors now) and asked me to film him some more. This guy bugged me a lot early on about filming, but it was more like a child at this point asking his dad. And you know, I picked on him. I forget what I said but I said hey you gave up and you have a 2 trick limit. Mind you. this guy is 5’6", an active gym member, arms like a boulders and I had just heard a story about him pulling a skateboarder over a fence who screwed with him a while back. haha. The A314 had me pulling a bossy stance that day. A lot of commanding and telling people to hold their horses. After the 3-4 hour period it died down and I think I was just worn out from the heat. I’ll say again with the residuals…I went shooting photos after that meet up. The work never ends! They’re for a magazine feature on a friend of mine. The first photo took me 10 minutes to set up for and a few test tries to get it right and ask the guy about his thoughts. But I felt confident in my abilities. The 2nd shot was towards the end of the day, and I was far less sure. It took me 20 some minutes to figure out the setup (very challenging lighting situation with amber orange rays of right coming in and mashing with my white light flashes). First pop off. He misses. Thank god, his arm was cut off. A few more shots he misses. It’s a super challenging spot. The pressure is on both of us. He almost flies into a wall (it’s a waist high ledge that becomes a 7 ft ledge that you can use to launch, gap and tap a wall 4 ft away..putting you at 8-9 ft up). Another go. He gets it, but I’m a split second off. He tells me he has one more try. Gulp. Gotta make it count. Through this time he’s been telling me not to make it like the ‘tree bonk’ incident (shoot where it took me 20 tries to get this shot..even though he got them right most of the time..long story short, there wasn’t a frame of reference to gauge when to click). So I think okay, as he launches. And I was right. Perfect. He’s less than an inch if that from tapping, legs extended, perfect lighting. A friend of mine said that would probably be a [rollerblade] career defining shot. The skater is completely in awe. It normally takes me more than a few tries to get this right. But I felt like I knew how to set up the lighting, even if there was a lot of trial. Or as Electracomplex would say, I just needed the confidence to make it happen. I second guess myself more than I should, but it seems I didn’t this time. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 9:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/17 "2011-07-06T09:24:43Z")
Report - A day with P90 Since Steve was curious and was looking for more testing of P90, I did just that on my day off. In total I sprayed myself with about 75 mcg today (probably a bit more), with a bath in between. Here in LA, it has been around 87-90 degrees. Any home not air conditioned is going to be an oven. I woke up around 11am. Read Steve’s post about wanting more info so I figured what the hey, best day to do it right? I wanted to see if it would alter my empathy while watching a movie. I put on Bill Murry’s “The man who knew too little” as it has been forever since I watched it. One 15mcg spray to my throat. Turned the movie on. The fan is whirring in the backdrop aimlessly blowing air. I can’t say I felt more in tune with the characters but I zoned out the rest of the real world. I completely forgot my surroundings until I was distracted. The movie was all I could focus on and it felt very much “my reality”. An hour or so in, I gave myself another 15mcg spray. The self effects I noticed was everything felt a bit more dream like. I was present and focused, but in the way only possible in a dream, with a haze. My vision while perfectly normal, felt like it was frosted at the edges. In a way, it is akin to a Tilt-shift lens. Tried to watch another film, but I was distracted by the heat and food. I felt focused enough to notice my cats were overheating, so I gave them quick cool baths so they’d be okay. I’m surprised they didn’t struggle as much, or rather, the ones that give me trouble didn’t and the easy going ones flailed. I gave myself a shower after. I went skating a few hours later around 6:30. Wrapped up around 9. I wanted to wait afterwards to spray on more P90. Went to supermarket tired and sweaty. Sprayed 15 mcg. A split second of what I can only describe as being hit with a pan and changing scenes. I walk inside, get detergent and lemonade. The lines are incredibly long. 4 check stands open and each has 10+ people. As I stand in line, I’m noticing various insignificant details about the door, the woman ahead of me, lights, etc. I pull out my phone and check emails/text. I zoned out and didn’t realize I had been in line for 5-10 minutes while on the phone. I was in my own bubble. Snapped back, tried to pay attention to the woman ahead of me. A cute mom with her kid no older than 13 and I think the mom’s dad. Noticed magazine racks. Thought to myself “how bizarre, my boss is responsible for stuff like this.” I come home and pack my stuff to go to the laundromat. I head to the laundromat, shove everything in the washers, start. Next spray at 15 mcg. That’s 30 so far. I figured I would do it after the loads were started, wouldn’t want to screw that up. I forgot my bedtime shorts anyway. damn it. I pick up an evolutionary psych book on desire and make it a few pages. I read each word carefully. I only made it 3-4 pages in. It’s a re-read anyway. I’m fidgeting around the laundromat, going in and out because it’s hot. I feel like I’ve lost track of time. No matter what a clock said, it felt like the wrong time. Popped things in the dryer, popped things out. The time doesn’t feel congruent with the time I read. I fold my clothes. It feels automatic. The world has that frosted dream concentration again. I’m solely focused on my clothes. Even when I wanted to call my friend while folding, I didn’t and at the same time, couldn’t. I could not get myself to make that all. I had to pack everything up in my car for it to be okay. I made the call. She’s coming over. She’s the girl who was affected by my [MX297](https://a314.com/product/mx297/)+ammo trial. It’s been an hour and a half since the last spray. Even though I told myself it had only been half an hour. Uh. that can’t be right. 45 Mcgs now. I’m not feeling quite right. I talk to her, but I’m having difficulty voicing my thoughts, being my usual witty self. Not as friendly, touchy, talkative as she was with the attraction mix, so that gave me an interesting frame of reference. But she did hold my hand while walking down the laundromat. Odd. I neg her some, but it feels less calculated and uncharacteristically slower. We talked for a good hour or so. She walks me to my car. And then asks for a ride back to her car 60 ft away lol. I tease her. Drove to her car and pulled in. We talked about the guy she liked at starbucks having been laid off. She’s sad but I tell her it’s okay, it’s a fresh start, no worries. I have a small car, and the mones I think are getting to her. She’s quieter. She’s usually a chatty latin fireball of words. I roll down the window to air things out. We sat quiet in the car mostly for what was probably 10-15 minutes, but it felt like longer. I was starting to feel highly unusual at this point. While she talked, it felt like there was a chasm between us. She was a foot or two away, but it felt like 5-10 feet. It felt like she was so distant and far away, arms crossed. I couldn’t make myself move or talk much as I was so concentrated on this unusual feeling. I only get this feeling late at night sometimes with my eyes closed and the world, the bed, etc feels so far away and I feel so small. She said she needed sleep and would be going. She opens the car door. Her leg hurts, and I pick her up and walk to her car. In she goes. She blows me a kiss and asks when I would be at the starbucks again. Friday? She’s still mentioning the barista. The feeling of distance dissipated as soon as I got out of the car. I popped into my car, and drove off behind her. I nearly hit her car twice in the parking lot. lol. I drove home, and signaled to make a left into my apartment at a dead end…uh…why? So spacy. I drag my clothes in, put everything away, get the bed ready, and shower off the P90. The effects are still lingering as I feel this report is hazy, lacking clarity and a bit tough for me to hone in on right. But while it is fresh in my mind, I wanted to write and share. ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/18 "2011-07-06T20:14:54Z")
P90 2nd report after thoughts… Well I’m still feeling quite off today. I can’t seem to concentrate and this is perturbing considering I’m playing catch up with a weekend’s worth of emails! Oy vey. I woke up this morning feeling like I spent the night drinking. My head is floaty, I felt a bit trashed, and considering I got 6-7 hours sleep, I still feel like I got far less. I still feel somewhat in a dream state. Maybe I didn’t wash off right? I gave myself a nice 3 sprays of IS and 2 of IO before I left the house to perk me up…but that doesn’t seem to have helped. Boss seems a bit…cross. Anywho this is about P90. 🙂 So far I don’t recommend anyone use P90 in high doses. It’s wrecking havoc on being here and present. In a way, it kind of reminds me of spaceland at the 30+mcg usage. But it seems like it needs a happy go lucky steering molecule. Maybe P103? If the dream state is the reality you’re looking to go for.. It seemed like she wanted to dump her thoughts onto me, but it was a bad day for her so that was a big influencer. I’m not sure why she walked to my car, it was clear across the parking lot and she has a limp. No that’ not usually typical of her to ask for a ride. To carry her, I’m not sure she expected me to pick her up. lol. Unfortunately for me, I have bad wrists, but I did it. Honestly, I haven’t a clue what P90’s function is other than to send you off into la la land, create distorted realities, and maybe influence your emotional state towards what? I have no idea yet. I would say I’d try it out again today but I need some down time from this putative. _phew_ 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/19 "2011-07-08T12:22:05Z")
A tale of P103, [P74](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p74/) and TAF I wasn’t quite intending on trying all of this, as I know it was best to try things out one on one. But I thought I’d casually play around. I woke up for work at 9:20, showered, and got dressed. It wasn’t that hot of a morning here in LA, which is a surprise. As I was going to head out the door, I figured what the hell, I’ll spray p74 (7.5mcg) on. I’ve used it in the past, but this is a new bottle. 2 sprays, neck and arms. It’s a 20 minute drive and sometime in the drive, I felt very centered and relaxed. It was a good feeling! Got to work, and the boss wasn’t in yet but I could hear him outside. Figured what the hell, sprayed the top of his office chair with p103. He’s been in a foul mood lately so I wanted to see if it would alleviate that. From 10-2, he’s quiet as usual. But he seems relaxed, content. He talked on the phone a while, made himself lunch, didn’t make any snide remarks as usual. When he talked to me, he seemed at ease. He didn’t bug me with his usual slow thursday talk, “So, what do you have going on today?” and let me work on projects in peace. He didn’t criticize a press kit I put together and pretty much gave me the green light. He’ll usually point out a few things in a bad tone (unintentional, just how he is). He had some changes in mind I guess, but he brushed them off to himself by saying, “nevermind, it’s okay”. He took off at 2 to pick his kid up. I decided to spray on P103 (10mcg). For the rest of the day, I felt content and stress-free. I wasn’t even upset when some guy cut me off to beat a bus. Back to work.. The boss sat in his chair a few more times around 4 pm when he got back. Played with his kid and in general he seems mellow. I’ll put it this way, he’s laying on a couch with his kid watching Snow White and just vegging out. lol. I drove home and decided to go skate for a bit. Gave myself a booster spray of P103. I wanted to see if the content, relaxed self effects would keep me focused on skating. And just for fun, I put a tiny droplet of TAF on my lip for the self effects. I thought for the first second…this isn’t working. A few seconds later it was like out of a scene of Requiem For a Dream lol. Everything sharpened up, I was alert, aware of my senses. That was mostly to confirm for SugarPlum about a question he had about caffeine effects on us and if our reactions to TAF were similar to it. Steve said it was the opposite for him. For me, I’d say it’s in line with my caffeine reaction. It’s a 7 mile drive to the skate park. Around 7:30 PM and the tail end of rush hour. I’m finding I’m focusing on random things in traffic. Not as pin point as P114, but a close one. I keep getting whiffs of TAF. I even missed my exit because I was concentrating on the different between TAF and P114. lol. Got to the park, and no one was there. Turns out this bunch of friends I was meeting up skated and left. I was pissed but…it didn’t feel like I too upset. Just, irritated. It didn’t elicit the same physiological tension that comes with this kind of anger/irritation. My arms didn’t cross, I wasn’t yelling at anyone. I drove back and decided to see if some other friends were skating. It just felt nice to drive around, which I rarely just do for pleasure. I got to the spot around 8:30, jokingly told my friend hanks for calling me to tell me they were skating here. He said he could feel the hurt in my words (in jest) but I know we joke around like that. I skated fairly well actually. Landed mostly what I wanted within a couple tries, and was overall happy to be skating. When I fell, I just got back up and went right back to trying. I didn’t yell, curse much, or pull at my hair. I was fairly grounded, which is surprising. In skating, you’ll get stuck on a trick sometimes for hours, and say every nasty thing in the book and that frustration will manifest itself as physical tension, the inability to land what you want (because the more frustrated you get, the less focus you have), the need to give up, and sometimes, throw you skates in a wall. lol. So overall, I felt like I had a good session at a spot I normally don’t like skating. I actually dislike that place a lot. lol. So add that to the list of peculiarities. Because of that sense of ease, I even tried out a few new tricks. It was around 10:10pm when I took off and went to get shisha for my hookah. I’ve been out for a week now, and went to my local tobacco shop. The same guy I talk to helped me out. I was friendly and talkative, cutting up with the guy about how I’ve probably tried all their stock. He assisted me the whole 15 minutes. We went through samples and he even pulled out one I’ve never seen before. Nice! Paid. I went home and showered around 10:40, figured that was the end of the testing. Wrong. I set up my hookah and started smoking. I felt fine at first, but 5-10 minutes in, I began to feel ill. My stomach clenched, my head felt funny and I made myself lay down. It was a pretty nasty feeling. I wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to the new shisha or one of the mones but that was new. I forced myself to sleep just because the feeling was so awful. It almost felt like I forced myself to smoke. lol All I need is a bit of Ludwig Van. Oh and call me Alex 😉 It’s now 5am. The cat woke me up around 3am, sleeping next to my head. That’s odd because she has been hiding all week because of the heat. While I was trying to smoke earlier, she laid in front of me contently. She’s normally a very squirrely cat, so to see her chill like this is nice. The P74 and P103 make for a nice combo it seems and so does the P103 and TAF. I’ll see what the former does with one of my cranky roommates and the latter with skating. Maybe try that last one with P114 in lieu of TAF. Time for sleep methinks, I can see light out. So for now, over and out. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![skittishsynapses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@skittishsynapses](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/skittishsynapses)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780/20 "2011-07-10T18:42:02Z")
A314 and TUTH Yesterday I realized I should have taken a break from using the mones. Going to have to spend the next few days aloof from the matter. But I knew I wasn’t gonna start yesterday. I had to shoot photos of my friend who skates. He’s very much an alpha guy, his way or the highway. We don’t always meet eye to eye on things because of this. Hell, he doesn’t meet eye to eye with most people, and it’s a love hate relationship with people that know him personally. He runs a skate site that’s fairly big, which holds competitions as well (just got back from a 1 month tour of Europe holding comps there the entire time). Anyway. His attitude can be off putting because like it or not, he tells you his honest opinion, without thinking of how to soften it (haha it’s like being on permanent IH). So I figured since I was going to be shooting all day with him, let me put on a drop of A314. Smeared that along my neck and fore arms. 30 minutes later I met up with the guy. Well, after my car’s engine was flooded driving up a crazy mountain range and he had to pick me up from the park he wanted me to meet him at. The first spot would make you poop yourself a little. It’s a roof roll to grind across the top of an 8 ft gate, dropping into an asphalt embankment that’s 40-50 high with a flat dip in the middle. Self effects were obvious, as I didn’t second guess myself as to how I was going to light this or shoot this. I felt very professional in other words. I even got the photography first try, right before he gapped into the embankment. His friend and me still had to film him though. So from about 2:30pm to 6pm, I was around his guy. I wanted to call it a day after the photo, but he was so keen on keeping me around. A lot of business talk about the site, the competitions, etc while in the car. Even asked if I wanted to do updates for the site. Very unusual. But I do help coordinate these huge skate sessions in collaboration with him monthly. It’s a bit strange that sometime in the last year, skaters started to take my photography seriously and hit me up to work together regularly. Anyway, it felt like this guy was treating me more like an equal for once. Interesting side note. Electracomplex and I figured out I’m sensitive to mones. With copulins, she’d put say a drop to an entire 30ml bottle and I’d still be able to detect it. Mixes she’d make and not smell the cops herself, but one spray…hey…uhh…does that have cops in it? So while with said guy, a hot day, skating and sweat…I sat next to him and breathed in a second, and you know, I got the smell of none. I mean a heavy dosage of it. I should point out he has a deep voice, so high testosterone level my guess. End of the day, he thanked me sincerely, and said I saved his life with the filming and photos. Also very much out of character is hearing that kind of sincerity. * * * It’s 10 or so at night, I’ve showered off the mones from earlier. X, girl I affected with the [MX297](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/mx297/)/ammo mix wanted me to hang out. Okay. I guess one of her kids wanted to meet me. She doesn’t bring home any guys and I guess I’m the 3rd one to come inside, so they were curious. I figured what the hell and put a spray of TUTH on my wrist. I walked over and she was outside. ha, she’s wearing some low scoop top with a shredded back. Right.. I give her an around the neck hug to waft those mones. The hug’s a good 5 second one. We talk a while about the guy she’s still sad about. We eventually go upstairs and I say hi to the kids. The oldest is 14 F, I think a 10 yr old boy, and a 9 yr girl. The youngest wanted to meet me. I said my hellos. The oldest said hi, but she kept her distance after approaching. Tried to talk to her about the anime she was watching. The answers were short. The youngest seemed shy and eventually ran off. We went outside and talked some more. Random hugs. Couldn’t tell what her pupils were like. I neg her around just because I can. She’s fidgeting with her hair, playing with her top, adjusting it, trying not to look at me. I lay down and she follows suit. We were talking like that for a good minute or two, looked up and she had fallen out of her top. Uh. And she wasn’t trying to fix it. So we hang out a bit more. I’m tired and she drives me home (ridiculous because I live 4 blocks away). It’s goodbye and a hug. The hug was tight and all boob. She talks some more and another of those hugs, and I hopped out. Thus concludes my first usage of TUTH. [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/diary-of-a-madman-and-a-cat/50780.md?page=2)