# Do men really like intelligent women? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 12, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287 "2011-11-12T12:26:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![xev](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xev/32/1993_2.png) [@xev](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/xev)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287/21 "2011-11-13T14:12:48Z")
Fishlalala, you say your guy doesn’t like it when you talk about your career with confidence. Does he like to talk about the future of _his_ career, and what he wants to do after graduate school? Because another thing that could be going on (not necessarily mutually exclusive from the more general male/female things that have been mentioned here) is that talking about the future stresses him out. Perhaps you talking about your future forces him to think about his future, and he doesn’t like that so much. Grad school is stressful, and people deal with it (or not) in different ways. I can remember many times just barely being able to deal with the future in the short term (what do I have to do tomorrow), and could not handle thinking about future projects, postdocs, job market, etc. Just a thought.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Misein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Misein](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Misein)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 3:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287/22 "2011-11-13T15:45:25Z")
Intelligence is important, absolutely. There’s a woman in my hometown I was a bit attracted to. That was until I happened to find her blog. She is so horribly superficial and stupid, I could never imagine wasting an evening going out with her. Funniest thing is that she shows a lot of disrespect to other girls who have blogs in the same vein as hers, mostly talking about fashion and make up and shit like that. She calls them stupid and superficial and that’s just hilarious. So yes, I like intelligent women. Don’t have to be very smart, just not all too stupid. I don’t mind women being smarter than me either but quite frankly, I don’t run into any that are all too often. ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287/23 "2011-11-13T16:16:09Z")
There are women you wanna fuck…and then there are women you wanna make love to for the rest of your life. or at least for a great deal of time…LOL. Sorry for my abruptness…just wanted to describe it in as clear cut terms as I could. One night stand type of women are those you find irresistibly attractive..and usually that’s just physically…or they’re just easy. Anyway, they are one night stands because there’s not much substance to build anything on. Now I don’t believe you have to share common interests in anything and everything. But I do believe that you have to be able to communicate effectively on a variety of subjects to make things interesting, and that usually requires intelligence. yeah I’ve been in a relationship where the girl was all kinds of hot but she’d say something and I would just shake my head and really wonder how desperate i was to put up with such idiocy. ---
**Author:** ![Jabez](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jabez/32/2193_2.png) [@Jabez](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Jabez)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287/24 "2011-11-13T16:37:48Z")
I like girls that I can have a decent conversation with and make connections, I doesn’t matter if she has a college degree or not I could give less then a rats ass about that as long as she doesn’t use her intelligence to make people feel inferior and insignifigant. Then I don’t have a problem with smart girls ---
**Author:** ![Professor\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dc4da7/32.png) [@Professor\_P](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Professor_P)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287/25 "2011-11-13T18:50:13Z")
Ok. I had to give my two cents just because this is a very interesting topic and subject matter. So here’s my thoughts. A lot of guys don’t. It’s two-fold social conditioning. Think about it. First of all, the world and the media teaches men to that the “hot chicks” are the pinnacle of dating, etc. But how many “hot chicks” are usually smart? Because they are shown favoritism because of their looks growing up many of them slack off in school and get spoiled so much that they never apply themselves. A lot (can even say most?) “hot chicks” are actually pretty shallow and dumb. This is not to say all but a lot. The thing is, for a lot of guys they are like the trophy on their arm to brag/impress/show-off to their friends so they don’t really care… especially if the sex is good. The second aspect is the media’s systematic destruction of the male ego. You can see it especially over the last decade or two. It’s very similar to what happen to females decades ago (and the make-up companies are still making millions off their propaganda). It’s subtle messages that you aren’t pretty unless… you buy this product! Why do you need it? Because girls won’t think you are attractive without it! Duh! Look at how many products (that would have been considered girlie years ago) are essentially marketed to men that way now. No more “manly man” stuff. You don’t have enough game yourself. Buy our hair gel or you’ll be a loser for life. _shakes head_ (Heck! Troy Polamalu is repping men’s shampoo!) Combine this trend with the movies and other media stereotypes of what it takes to be a real man and this makes things even more muddied. To be a man, you are suppose to be the bread-winner. You are suppose to be the alpha male. The dominant one. You are suppose to be the knight in shining armor. And in a way, I guess the media kind of tells you you are suppose to be better. And believe it or not, a lot of guys are outwardly or secretly AS INSECURE AS MOST GIRLS (in fact, that can often be why some guys like to date dumb girls because they make them feel better about themselves/smart). Guys often just hide their insecurities behind other masks/things better. Bringing this back to our discussion, guys that say they like a “smart girl” are often like women who say they like a “nice guy”. On paper it looks good. It sounds good. But it isn’t the same definition. “Nice guys” fail because their definition of being nice and what the girls means/wants are often very different. It’s often the same with “smart girls.” The fact of the matter is, guys have huge egos. Yes, not all do. But secretly, even humble ones do have an ego. They want to feel needed and wanted and important just like everyone else. Just because our societal and social constructs tell them they are not suppose to express their emotions doesn’t mean they don’t have them. Most men want to fulfill the socially expected and acceptable norms. Hence, “smart chicks” can be a problem. Why do I say this? Because if the girl flaunts her smarts it can make the guy feel inferior. A lot of guys can’t handle that, just like a lot of guys can’t handle the fact that their wife/girlfriend is pulling in more money than them. It’s insecurity and almost a social pressure kind of thing. What will people think? What will my guy friends think? That ego pops up and guys don’t like to feel stupid/inferior. Really, does anybody like to feel inferior (guy or girl)? That’s why a lot of guys don’t mind being with really stupid girls. It’s a cheap and instant ego boost. It’s stupid maybe. I know. But it is what it is. Getting beyond that, though, even if you like intelligent girls, a lot of guys translate that more along the lines of logic. When we think intelligent, we think “making smart, logical decisions.” A lot of women allow themselves to be dominated by emotion so those “logical ones” can be hard to find. So when you find one that is, it is really attractive outside of simply being a great life skill for anyone to have. You want to know that in a crunch, even if you are not around your wife/girlfriend will make good decisions and ones that will benefit and be in the best interests of both of you. Now here’s where the trap comes in. Career stuff can be an ego modifier because when you talk career, the guy might be hearing “make more money than me (now or in the future)” instead. And if you actually know more than him about something, he might be taking another ego blow. It might all seem silly, but it’s true. It’s often finding the balance. Some girls do play a little dumb at times or balance their own pride by pointing out where he excels or might be better just to help their man feel a little good about himself. You can call it pandering or whatever you want but it often works. It doesn’t even have to be that often but occasionally can go a long way towards making him feel better about himself, especially when you legitimately need help. It comes back to feeling needed. If your woman is so smart and “got her own” and just so great, a lot of guys can start to think, “What does she need me for anyways?” Most guys don’t like feeling useless as that “knight in shining armor” social training tells us that useless = worthless. (And rest assured, someone other woman out there will pick up on that and try to make you feel worth something.) That can be a place where trouble can start. But that’s a whole other issue altogether. Granted, I know not every male falls for all this social conditioning and jargon. Still, many do without even realizing it. So no. You don’t have to come to him every time you have a problem or can’t figure something out. But if he probably enjoys when you do, it’s because guys like to fix problems. We are fixers. We like challenges. We like solutions. And simply put, most guys love feeling wanted and love being able to be your “knight in shining armor” even if it is the most simple of problems to fix (and no. I’m not talking about the dreaded honey-do list type stuff 😛). Regardless, I’m not suggesting constant nagging to the point where he’s like, “Good grief? Can this woman do anything for herself?!” But if you legitimately need help on something, go to your guy (at least every once in a while) and let him boost his ego and feel good about himself and not only wanted but needed. That never hurts. 😛 I personally like smart women. I like people to challenge me. I’ve dated both and the smart ones have so much more value long-term. But when I think smart, I think logical. You can have all the head-knowledge in the world and still be as dense as a “blonde” (to use a stereotype) when it comes to common-sense and decision making. It’s not what you know. It’s how you use it. Mind you, this is simply my opinion based on the various knowledge I’ve collected over the years. Whether guys want to admit to it being true or not, there is plenty of outside documentation, case-studies, research, books, and the like to support my claims. It actually is a very interesting subject to study for those who are still in college and have the opportunity to do so. I really can’t speak for your guy, his insecurities, or thought process. Every guy is a little different. But from what you are saying, I think it is safe to say this is why he loves it when you give him the chance to be your knight. _shrugs_ I’m not going to come out and say that your career intimidates him or makes him jealous or hits his ego (but yes, that actually does happen for some guys EVEN when they are also in the same career or on the same level (PhD, etc.).). It may not in his case. But while I’m sure it boosts your ego to talk about it (and rightly so) it may not really boost his. This isn’t a bad thing. Not everything should have to be a two-way street as far as that goes. Plus, you never know! Secretly he might brag about you to his friends and others as far as what you tell him when you are not around. The difference is, when you need help or advice or there is an emergency that DOES boost his ego. It’s his “moment.” It’s the “shining armor” syndrome. He gets to play hero and what guy doesn’t love that? It’s only the type of heroes and themes we’ve grown up with every day of our lives in near about every story we’ve read, watched, or played! And in general, a man who feels good about himself is not only a happy man, but he’ll tend to want to treat you that much better, too. I’m not saying that it isn’t a fine line. Overdoing it can simply make you seem needy (and some guys like that while others don’t). But you don’t sound like someone who would overdo it or does. In fact, it probably couldn’t help to do it a little more. A good thing to remember is that (for both guys and girls) there is a fine line between being smart and arrogant. The smart person unwilling to admit that they need help can start to come off as arrogant, which is unattractive to pretty much anyone. Even the smartest people don’t know how to do everything all the time. Otherwise, no one would need to go to college and LEARN in the first place, right? In contrast, smart people willing to admit their limitations can be really attractive because it shows humility. Whether we admit it or not, we all already know how smart they are to begin with so them asking for help doesn’t make them seem dumb. Rather, you are like wow. I know they are smart and even smart people can use a little help sometimes. I can respect that. Plus, if you are the one helping you feel a little bit more smart/on their level (which if you are a humble person you don’t mind others feeling from time to time). But I’m rambling. I have filled those unfortunately to make it this far with enough biased and useless information for one post. 😉 _braces for hate-mail_ 😛 _rides off into the sunset_ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WalrusGumBoot](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/walrusgumboot/32/1300_2.png) [@WalrusGumBoot](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WalrusGumBoot)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287/26 "2011-11-14T19:09:01Z")
I think the saying “Birds of a feather flock together” applies in the area of intelligence when it comes to long term relationship success. When it comes down to it, communication is key. I am gifted when it comes to intelligence (I.Q. test of 143 but who knows how accurate those tests are). I have trouble having good conversation with a good number of people because I cannot make meaningless small talk well. I mean, I CAN, and I have, but living with a person day in and day out that does not give me intellectual stimulation along with physical stimulation would not be ideal. I think smart chicks are a big turn on, but on the other hand, SUCCESSFUL chicks are a bit intimidating. Subconsciously I might relate them to power-skirt, controlling personalities, which is a complete turn off. So bottom line, a perfect match for me would be a highly intelligent, pretty and petite woman, long hair (so she can take off her black glasses and unpin her hair and swish it around when she gets hot - LOL), but a sweet disposition. I’ve had enough of the Queen Witch personality in women to last fifty lifetimes. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-men-really-like-intelligent-women/53287.md?page=1)