# Do pheromones work if you don't act congruent with them? An introvert asks **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [July 3, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341 "2014-07-03T22:25:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![benman2468](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c37758/32.png) [@benman2468](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/benman2468)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/1 "2014-07-03T22:25:37Z")
Are [pheromones](https://a314.com/) useless when you aren’t acting in congruence with the chosen product? For example, I’m a pretty introverted guy. I’m not very talkative and only have a few friends, but once I get comfortable with someone (like friends) I can be talkative. I look like a pretty typical nerd (constantly pushing up my glasses, pale skin, not very attractive features, etc) and I don’t have a way with words. I often have trouble carrying on a conversation with someone I just met simply because I just don’t know what to say. Anyway, I was thinking about getting the intro pack, and I was wondering if some or all of the pheromones will be useless to me (instant jerk: I like to think I’m pretty damn nice, any of the party mones: I’m quiet and have never been to a party, any of the sociable mones: again I’m quiet and can’t carry on conversations). Thanks for your help. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/2 "2014-07-04T00:18:38Z")
For me, mones enhance what’s there but don’t create substance or defeat opposing behavior. The reason being, unlike insects and lower mammals, humans have socialization and intelligence interfering with mone signals. So if you baptize yourself in anol hoping to appear friendly, but your words and body language say “keep away I’m a weird dude from Portland,” you will defeat your $99 investment in magical joy juice. So, yes, you need to walk 'n talk the life and the mones will amp you up a little bigger than life. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/3 "2014-07-04T04:02:42Z")
For me, mones enhance what’s there but don’t create substance or defeat opposing behavior. The reason being, unlike insects and lower mammals, humans have socialization and intelligence interfering with mone signals. So if you baptize yourself in anol hoping to appear friendly, but your words and body language say “keep away I’m a weird dude from Portland,” you will defeat your $99 investment in magical joy juice. So, yes, you need to talk the talk and walk the walk and the mones will amp you up a little bigger than life. ---
**Author:** ![THE\_GHOST](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/the_ghost/32/1990_2.png) [@THE\_GHOST](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/THE_GHOST)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/4 "2014-07-04T13:48:06Z")
You don’t necessarily have to be the life of the party, just don’t act in opposition to the mones, remember to smile, have open relaxed body language and try and open up a conversation now and again. ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/5 "2014-07-04T14:51:04Z")
Its not that the pheros will be useless, more that any advantage from the interest generated by pheros could be quickly lost if you don’t act on it or demonstrate personality/behavioural traits to back it-up. So yes it can sometimes be something of an act but if you choose pheros that sit well with your persona, then the whole thing becomes a lot easier. So to that end, tackling your reticence by more permanent no-phero means is the best way forward. Then using pheros will help smooth over the rough bits and help everything hang-together better when you deal with people. Any self-effects that might make it easier still for you can then be regarded as a pleasant bonus! 🙂 The best way to find out if the pheros work for you is to try them and see what suits you best - certainly IJ can be difficult but in the right environment, it could work well even at your age - and once you start talking to people, it probably won’t be long before you start being invited to clubs/parties and when you meet a girl who tunes-in strongly to a TUTH or IJ signature, you may not be doing that much talking! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vanadium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@vanadium](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vanadium)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/6 "2014-07-04T15:15:06Z")
Think of every OTHER known attractant: looks, wit, good nature, conversational ability, intelligence, success, etc. We all know people who have several of these traits, but can’t seem to find the kind of relationship they seek – yet it is undeniable that good looks, etc. are potent attractants. If they sold “spray-on Brad Pitt 4x” cosmetic disguise, it still wouldn’t be a sure thing by itself. ---
**Author:** ![benman2468](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c37758/32.png) [@benman2468](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/benman2468)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/7 "2014-07-04T16:06:10Z")
So how would I go about actually getting or “acting” like I have those personality traits? Do I just have to be a complete asshole and/or dick to people for instant jerk? Cause there’s this kid here who everyone thinks is an ass and I don’t want to end up like him. He might actually be using IJ cause he’s how I heard about pheromones. Do the pheros alter my personality? (I’ve heard IS does) ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/8 "2014-07-04T16:37:36Z")
You just have to be sociable, interested, friendly, approachable - but not a pushover, suck-up, placator or hide your sexual interest in a woman under a bushel of shyness or negative body language. Smile, talk, return their gaze and hold/position yourself like you mean business! 🙂 It might sound like a tall order but in reality, once you start to make the effort, everything else starts to follow-through nicely. You also don’t need to worry about any knock-backs or people reacting badly to you - this is in fact an excellent way of screening out people you don’t need to take an interest-in or who would latch-on for all the wrong reasons. And you **do not** need to be acting the arsehole or behaving like a sex-obsessed creep when wearing IJ or TUTH for it to work - A smart, studiously polite but self-ssured and unashamedly physically comfortable/sexual/sexy young man is a big turn-on to a lot of women and the no-nonsense sexuality of IJ can help hammer that point home in the shortest of times - Just don’t wear it to work, school, church or anywhere **both** of you can’t act on the feelings it helps stir. ---
**Author:** ![vanadium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@vanadium](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vanadium)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 11:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/9 "2014-07-04T23:20:54Z")
Ultimately you will have to experiment and arrive at a different mix that suits you well, but for right now, I think IJ, most sexuals, and perhaps even the status mones are probably not your best initial choice. Focus your efforts and your purchases on social mones. You’ll see results. You might try buying a 5ml To-Go of A314 or AMMO to experiment with BUT that shouldn’t be your primary goal, and frankly, in your situation, I might only do it to keep up my interest and to allow me to experience different reactions to refine my social observation skills. It will almost certainly take months to build substantial skill – but when you look back, it will seem to have happened in a flash. Many people immediately head for the “hard hitters”, but those may not get the best results (or often ANY real results outside of _brief_ initial responses that don’t lead anywhere) for a beginner, esp. many beginners who gravitate to them first. I’d recommend starting with socials (e.g. IS, IO, IH, IG). You need to be able to talk comfortably with people. That gets easier to do when people respond favorably to you, but it’s still a skill you have to master. The good news is that it is fun and rewarding on its own, even if it isn’t your ultimate goal. You describe yourself as a quite introverted guy. The word “introverted” has two meanings. The common use is “quiet, shy, not talkative”, but a more neuro-psychological definition of interversion vs. extroversion involves “where do you get your energy”. Extroverts find social interaction energizing, but while Introverts may find it stimulating at first, they soon find it draining, and their tolerance threshold may be lower than average. However, I know many high-level leaders, savvy operators (e.g. politically savvy at work and elsewhere, as well as pickup artists) who are quite strong introverts. You just have to learn to understand yourself, observe others accurately and “build the muscle” of your social energy reserve/tolerance. Similarly extroverts may find it initially refreshing to be alone, but find it draining in the longer term. Almost all my life I would have been described as a gregarious extrovert, and I have held top positions in state and national organizations but I displayed signs of strong introversion even as a pre-schooler. For example, though I loved social contact as a toddler (I was an only child until I was 5, and my parents were somewhat socially isolated professional immigrants so I wasn’t getting as much as I’d have liked), I displayed a pattern that my parents called “getting overexcited” that probably still persists, but at decreasing frequency, as I get more expert at self-monitoring, managing my social calendar, preparing for demanding situations, etc. I don’t think I’ve gotten “overexcited” in years, but I don’t doubt I still could. Anyone might. In my case, I decided in grade school that I didn’t want to be an introvert, and set out to “become” more extroverted with a good success (but not without significant social lapses). I thought I WAS a gregarious extrovert, and by the end of high school, I didn’t know how to act any other way. In my 30s, in med school, I learned enough neurology and psychiatry to gain a better insight into my internal workings, and at that same time I became deeply active in social groups and organizations where I developed and refined my social skills. To be honest, I’m now a little embarrassed by the raw boisterous enthusiastic “extroversion” of my teens/20s. Most of us have seen kids who were so stimulated/exhausted that they became hyper or even reckless and ill-behaved. Parents may recognize that they need a nap, but that’s the last thing the kid wants [or is even capable of] in that state. In adults, it manifests differently, and much more variably. One may feel drained or may not recognize the feeling at all; one may behave/speak foolishly; one may lose social insight and become unable to read social appropriateness or the reactions fo others as key mental centers tire out or are overloaded. I’ve people who became quite socially introverted due to repeated experiences of behaving regrettably (or recieving negative reactions) in school, and spiraled deeper into withdrawal because their “social muscle/ mental reserve” atrophied as they progressively withdrew. It’s not that they were unlikable. It was simply a feedback cycle. Fortunately, one can make rapid progress if one puts one mind to it, precisely when one starts at a low state. You’ve probably known someone who came back from a summer vacation (etc.) “a different man” after they got a chance to build their social muscle, change their expectations and responses, “improve their social eye” etc. So my advice would be to try socials, but not JUST that. Make a specific effort to get into social situations and build those muscles. Free public summer events are good, because you won’t feel obligated to stay too long if you get uncomfortable, and you can easily give yourself brief respites by ending an interaction and wandering into the crowd to rest and find others to interact with “from a fresh start” (After you engage with new people, it’s often good to “leave them wanting more”. It builds your perceived status and avoids social pitfalls) IG may give you some gravitas; IS may may you seem more interesting; IO may make you seem more interesting to be with; IH may make people want to talk to you – but you have to talk back or it will go nowhere. If you are a neurological introvert, you may also need to learn to monitor yourself and know when to disengage You may be surprised by what you can accomplish by September ---
**Author:** ![benman2468](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c37758/32.png) [@benman2468](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/benman2468)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 4:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/10 "2014-07-06T04:30:01Z")
Wow! So much good advice! Thanks for all the input. I guess I’ll start with the socials, although should I wear ammo too? Cause I’ve heard that it’s a good all around phero. Also, since I’m at a college camp (and back to high school in August), when should I apply pheros? I guess the party and sexual pheros would be no good (except maybe on the weekends), but would the social pheros be appropriate during class? I mean they are trying to cram 4 years of college into 5 weeks so the work is difficult and I kinda want to pay attention during class and not be bothered by everyone around me trying to talk to me. Should I put on the socials after class? Also, if I put on pheros, would it be bad to later chill in my bed without taking a shower first? ---
**Author:** ![vanadium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@vanadium](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/vanadium)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 8:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/11 "2014-07-06T08:06:55Z")
If you use socials, others may/may not act in a way that distracts you in a classroom setting (which is more constrained than you may realize). People often react to me in a way that can derail me, even without socials, but I’ve learned to handle that, and though I’m satisfied with my responses, I still get a little better at it every year. Socials can build your social capital without a word being exchanged. Think how often you’ve stared at the back of a person (male or female) in class, and formed a private narrative, an expectation, of who they were and how they’d react to you or some action you considered, without ever having had significant interaction with them. Maybe it was based on some personal stereotype or mistaken preconception – or maybe it was their phero sig. We generate these private narratives constantly. It can’t be stopped. It’s how we think. I could give you a scientific bibliography, but I’'d bet you’ll “get it” if you think back and analyze. It’s a universal experience. The fact is: the conclusions you draw in such an “information vacuum” _ARE_ based on pheromones (plus your assessment of their friends, individually and as cliques; their dress, sexiness, social rank, ethnicity; your personal insecurities; etc. etc.) You know you can instantly process a visual image in ways computers find daunting. You’re also a social supercomputer --all primates are-- but you may need to refine your software. People judge you just as automatically as you judge them–but they don’t know you are ‘stacking the deck’ by using pheromones (if they even believe in such things). They generate internal narratives where you are accepting/rejecting, higher/lower status, and many other things – all without precisely knowing why. As regards your other question: I personally rarely worry about showering off the self-effects of socials unless I have a very specific reason (with some pheros, I do). They’re not (usually) a weapon where you need to “click the safety to ‘ON’” to avoid a disaster. Pheros are normal. But try some socials (or whatever) first. Then we’ll talk. I love theory, but as a direct result of that love, I’ve learned its limits. Science starts and ends with empirical data ---
**Author:** ![benman2468](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c37758/32.png) [@benman2468](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/benman2468)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 4:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/12 "2014-07-06T16:07:28Z")
So should I start wearing ammo when I start with the socials or should I wait? I guess the ammo would be a phero I would want to wash off cause of the none. ---
**Author:** ![outset71614](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f0a364/32.png) [@outset71614](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/outset71614)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/13 "2014-07-06T16:33:13Z")
> [@benman2468](#): > > Wow! So much good advice! Thanks for all the input. I guess I’ll start with the socials, although should I wear ammo too? Cause I’ve heard that it’s a good all around phero. Also, since I’m at a college camp (and back to high school in August), when should I apply pheros? I guess the party and sexual pheros would be no good (except maybe on the weekends), but would the social pheros be appropriate during class? I mean they are trying to cram 4 years of college into 5 weeks so the work is difficult and I kinda want to pay attention during class and not be bothered by everyone around me trying to talk to me. Should I put on the socials after class? Also, if I put on pheros, would it be bad to later chill in my bed without taking a shower first? You’ve garnered some great advice from all the gentlemen. So…what they said, lol 😃 Basically you have to try the mones because there are plenty of wonderful (or not) experiences that await you. What works for others may not suit your needs. To answer some of your questions: You should apply pheros anytime you step out the door. It doesn’t pay to be caught off guard. Once you start using the right ones, you’ll see that they help to present your best self. This should be anytime you’re in the public eye IMHO. I’ve worn social pheros everywhere. Business meetings, lectures, funerals, work, church…you name it. It is possible people may break out of character and react to the mones. Hope and pray they do because that means its a HIT 😛 For the most part when they react to your mone cloud it isn’t anything you won’t be able to handle. So have at it! Practice makes more opportunities -to practice some more with different mones and dosages. Heck to the yeah man! Regarding the party / sexual pheros, dude – splash some of those bad boys on after class, say, when you’re headed to WalMart or Target for those school supplies. Stroll the aisles and target that hot cashier you wouldn’t dare approach mone free. Let that P.Y.T. catch a whiff of that AMMO goodness and make her day sweets…and, subsequently yours. Ummmm yeah, an answer to your last question, it can’t hurt to chill in bed without showering off the mones. But, being a girl, I’d say “Eww, don’t do it guy!” If you’re a one shower a day man, I’d vote for the evening shower. You know, that way, you’re washing off the day’s redolence. As well, IDK, if your chemistry is ‘light,’ there’s a chance you’re still wearing pheros when you think they should have worn off. I shower morning and night and if it’s sweltering out, 3x a day. Mild OCD there but there are worse compulsions. Once or twice, I’ve taken a morning and midday shower and skipped the before bed splashdown. Lo’ and behold, I’ve woken up with mones in my system applied many moons prior to… But again, someone else’s experience will not be yours. Gotta try it before you can cast a vote. Your new “best” life begins once you start on that phero journey. I’m excited for you 🙂 if it works for you nearly as well as it’s worked for most here, you’re in for the ride of your life. Good luck guy! ---
**Author:** ![benman2468](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c37758/32.png) [@benman2468](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/benman2468)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 5:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/do-pheromones-work-if-you-dont-act-congruent-with-them-an-introvert-asks/62341/14 "2014-07-07T05:46:32Z")
Thank you all again for the great advice! I’m gonna order the intro pack and hopefully it will get here before camp ends. I will let you know how it goes! 🙂