# Feeling like I'm watching my body live my life: does anyone else feel this? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [December 28, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299 "2006-12-28T03:16:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@tho](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tho)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/1 "2006-12-28T03:16:09Z")
Since I am confined to my own body and life and I cannot switch lives or bodies with one of you; I have been pondering this weird question for a while. I though that people on pheromonetalk could answer this one for me. When I was a child, I acted out my life, it was my choices. I chose my actions, if I wanted to jump I did it, if I wanted to walk to a door, I did it. At this point in my life, I realise that I am watching myself act out my life. My body automatically acts out my life. I feel as if I do not own my life anymore. The only time when I “take charge” of my body is when I am typing something just like right now, during a college exam, or with my true friends that I love and attach importance to. Has anyone been living this as I have? Or am I crazy 😉 (NAH, i know i’m not crazy) I have just though of another question that I have been pondering since I was in my crib. I’m one of those very rare people that were thinking of what is death and the “meaning of life” ever since I was a baby. I have concluded long ago that there is nothing after death and no point of living. It is truly rare to ask yourself such questions while most babies are busy crying. I honestly remember myself thinking of this. Anyways, my conclusions aren’t import. I want to know if anyone else has this weird “psychedelic”, “end of the world”, “omg my brain will burst”, “AHHHHHHH!!! I feel like I’m falling off the WTC (panic, fear, scared)” feeling when they think of the meaning of life, death and black holes? Because I start to panic and have terrible fears of being alone when I ponder this, the intense fear of falling off a high building to my death. Anyone ever have these weird sensations, or am I unique? While I reread my post, I realise some of you may think this is a joke, but I’m seriously asking this. I realise I would look like a freak if I asked a friend this. Good thing there is the internet! ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/2 "2006-12-28T04:06:03Z")
Thomas, maybe your question is not that weird … maybe it’s just a question that’s not spoken of often. You’ve become aware of how your mind works to actually move your body – sometimes your un-conscious mind moves you, and then your conscious notices that and gets focussed awareness of your un-conscious intent. I’d say that’s a normal, desireable evolution. “Growing up.” You (conscious you) allows you (un-conscious, non-verbalized you) to do a lot of stuff to you (your body.) You put your conscious mind in the “veto position” – monitoring your actions and taking cues from your non-conscious self. While I disagree with your conclusion about the meaning of life and death, etc., I don’t sense anything weird about having a sense of continuity from infancy, that you have a more or less continuous awareness of asking questions about life from your earliest memory… ---
**Author:** ![AKmedic](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/akmedic/32/1487_2.png) [@AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/3 "2006-12-28T05:50:41Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > I want to know if anyone else has this weird “psychedelic”, “end of the world”, “omg my brain will burst”, “AHHHHHHH!!! I feel like I’m falling off the WTC (panic, fear, scared)” feeling when they think of the meaning of life, death and black holes? Because I start to panic and have terrible fears of being alone when I ponder this, the intense fear of falling off a high building to my death. > > Anyone ever have these weird sensations, or am I unique? I have a close friend who has always been an extremely intelligent, artistic, and kind individual. When we were in college, she started to have panic attacks and feel like her mind was racing and couldn’t stop it. She was too afraid of what was happening, so she didn’t tell anyone. Basically, she suffered in this horrible hellish fog of terror quietly and hoped that it would go away. It didn’t. It just got worse. She was “living inside her own mind” so she didn’t really see how much she was changing on the outside. She was working hard, going to college, and making a really good life for herself, but inwardly she was falling apart. The thoughts got horribly intrusive and awful to the point where she tried to take her own life to make them stop. Thank God, she did not succeed in her attempt. It was traumatic for everyone, and it’s a miracle that she did not die. She was able to get help, and after a few frustrating months, her doctor found the right mix of medication for her. She’s happy and symptom-free. She isn’t bothered by the intrusive thoughts, she’s been able to resume her art and creative writing, and she’s doing much better. I have no idea what your personal situation is like. I don’t know if you have access to a therapist, but I think it might be beneficial for you to talk to a professional about your fears. At universities there are usually counselling centers where you can talk to someone abot what you’re experiencing. There are non-medication ways to help reduce your anxiety and fear, like EMDR or cognitive behavioral therapy. You don’t have to live in fear. Please talk to someone. ---
**Author:** ![Chris](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/chris/32/2267_2.png) [@Chris](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Chris)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 2:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/4 "2006-12-28T14:49:19Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > At this point in my life, I realise that I am watching myself act out my life. My body automatically acts out my life. I feel as if I do not own my life anymore. The only time when I “take charge” of my body is when I am typing something just like right now, during a college exam, or with my true friends that I love and attach importance to. I recognize your feelings. I recognize the images you portray. It’s like listening to myself ten years ago. Not that age should matter in this sense, but since I’m a lot older than you, it might help to hear that others have lived through the same phases at some point in their life. I survived. And well too, I might add. > [@thomaslavoie](#): > > I have just though of another question that I have been pondering since I was in my crib. I’m one of those very rare people that were thinking of what is death and the “meaning of life” ever since I was a baby. I have concluded long ago that there is nothing after death and no point of living. It is truly rare to ask yourself such questions while most babies are busy crying. I honestly remember myself thinking of this. Anyways, my conclusions aren’t import. I want to know if anyone else has this weird “psychedelic”, “end of the world”, “omg my brain will burst”, “AHHHHHHH!!! I feel like I’m falling off the WTC (panic, fear, scared)” feeling when they think of the meaning of life, death and black holes? Because I start to panic and have terrible fears of being alone when I ponder this, the intense fear of falling off a high building to my death. Your conclusions are always essential, Thomas, but it helps to remind yourself that knowledge is not a constant. It evolves, and sometimes paradigms shift. Your own too. I’ve asked myself some of the same questions you are asking, and while I’ve never really reached a conclusion as to what the meaning of life is (besides the number 42) I’ve acknowledged the fact that there might still be some pieces missing for me to reach a final conclusion. I went to a very sad phase in my life at 22, and I was _forced_ to rephrase the question from “what is the meaning of life” to “what is perfect … for me”? And it helped. I found that most of my actions and thoughts revolved around others in a way that was not positively building a platform for me to lead a very happy life. I needed constant verification from others to receive (and believe) any form of feedback as to who I was, and who I should be. However, getting a lot of feedback, still never made me happy. So … I had to think INSIDE the box. MY box. What I found was that making choices that suited ME, rather than others … made me happy, and (go figure 😕 ) made others happy too. Existential questions like the ones you are pondering might never have one true meaning, or one true answer, but they might be rephrased to suit your life in a better way. The only change I would recommend is to make _perfection_ an image of your own needs and wants in life, not a blueprint of anyone elses ideas of perfection. That way, falling off a cliff isn’t necessary because you’re your own Landlord, and creator of your own universe. You’re just great the way you are, Love Chris. ---
**Author:** ![blbprime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@blbprime](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blbprime)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/5 "2006-12-28T15:46:02Z")
Although these are not my owns words…they seem appropriate. very important moment in the work on oneself is when a man begins to distinguish his personality and his essence. A man’s real I, his individuality, can grow only from his essence. It can be said that a man’s individuality is his essence, grown up, mature. But in order to enable essence to grow up, it is first of all necessary to weaken the constant pressure of personality upon it, because the obstacles to the growth of essence are contained in personality. Certain teachings compare man to a house of four rooms. Man lives in one room, the smallest and poorest of all, and until he is told of it, he does not suspect the existence of the other rooms which are full of treasures. When he does learn of this he begins to seek the keys to these rooms and especially the fourth, the most important, room. And when a man has found his way into this room he really becomes the master of his house, for only then does the house belong to him wholly and forever. The crowd neither wants nor seeks knowledge, and the leaders of the crowd, in their own interests, try to strengthen its fear and dislike of everything new and unknown. The slavery in which mankind lives is based upon this fear. One thing alone is certain, that man’s slavery grows and increases. Man is becoming a willing slave. He no longer needs chains. He begins to grow fond of his slavery, to be proud of it. And this is the most terrible thing that can happen to a man. In order to do it is necessary to be. There is no compulsory, mechanical evolution. Evolution is the result of conscious struggle. The evolution of man is the evolution of his consciousness, and ‘consciousness’ cannot evolve unconsciously. The evolution of man is the evolution of his will, and ‘will’ cannot evolve involuntarily. The evolution of man is the evolution of his power of doing, and ‘doing’ cannot be the result of things which ‘happen’. ‘Progress’ and ‘Civilization’, in the real meaning of these words, can appear only as a result of conscious efforts. They cannot appear as the result of unconscious mechanical actions. Of the desires expressed the one which is most right is the desire to be ‘master of oneself’, because without this nothing else is possible. Everything is dependent on everything else, everything is connected, nothing is separate. Therefore everything is going in the only way it can go. If people were different everything would be different. They are what they are, so everything is as it is. The evolution of man can be taken as the development in him of those powers and possibilities which never develop by themselves, that is, mechanically. Only this kind of development, only this kind of growth, marks the real evolution of man. There is, and there can be, no other kind of evolution whatever. Imagine that we are sitting here talking of religions and that the maid Masha hears our conversation. She, of course, understands it in her own way and she repeats what she has understood to the porter Ivan. The porter Ivan again understands it in his own way and he repeats what he has understood to the coachman Peter next door. The coachman Peter goes to the country and recounts in the village what the gentry talk about in town. Do you think that what he recounts will at all resemble what we said? This is precisely the relation between existing religions and that which was their basis. You get teachings, traditions, prayers, rites, not at fifth but at twenty-fifth hand, and, of course, almost everything has been distorted beyond recognition and everything essential forgotten long ago. Confine yourself to observing and you always miss the point of your life. The object can be stated this way: Live the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap into it and play it to the hilt. Otherwise, you are caught off balance, continually surprised by the shifting play. Non-players often whine and complain that luck always passes them by. They refuse to see that they can create some of their own luck. ---
**Author:** ![tho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@tho](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tho)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/6 "2006-12-29T03:56:47Z")
I would just like to point out that I LOVE my life. I love myself. I love everything about myself. I do not need help. And if i have a problem, I well NEVER EVER get help from anyone outside of my family because when i was young this so called “help” is what destroyed my life. IMO, and in my VERY experience opinion, help from anything other than family members is the worst thing you can do. Doctors have no clue about your life situations and will just drug the crap out of you until you kill yourself. some may think I don’t know what i’m saying. Well, i have seen and lived first hand the horrors of psychiatry. They can go fuck themselves and die. If i could, i would kill one man on this earth, i bet you guess what his profession was after reading my above statment. Anyways, i love my life. My life is great. I was just wondering this because my quest is to understand myself and everything about myself. To reach a state of perfect health and happyness with nutrition, food, and other things. no drugs, no alcohol or little, no toxins, no fear, only joy, money, riches, love, knowledge, languages, though, reading, scents, friends, family, music. Don’t worry, i’m not sad in anyway. I love my life. My brain is living the best day ever non stop 24/7, i take about a hundred supplements. My body keeps sending to my brain “WOWOWOWOW, i feel GGGGGGGGGREAAAT” just like tony the tiger in the junk food frosted flakes cereal 😉. (I’m saying this because of what [AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic) said, i might have given the wrong impression in my opening statment.) ---
**Author:** ![AKmedic](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/akmedic/32/1487_2.png) [@AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2006, 6:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/7 "2006-12-29T06:48:27Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > I would just like to point out that I LOVE my life. I love myself. I love everything about myself. I do not need help. And if i have a problem, I well NEVER EVER get help from anyone outside of my family because when i was young this so called “help” is what destroyed my life. IMO, and in my VERY experience opinion, help from anything other than family members is the worst thing you can do. Doctors have no clue about your life situations and will just drug the crap out of you until you kill yourself. some may think I don’t know what i’m saying. Well, i have seen and lived first hand the horrors of psychiatry. They can go fuck themselves and die. If i could, i would kill one man on this earth, i bet you guess what his profession was after reading my above statment. > > Anyways, i love my life. My life is great. I was just wondering this because my quest is to understand myself and everything about myself. To reach a state of perfect health and happyness with nutrition, food, and other things. no drugs, no alcohol or little, no toxins, no fear, only joy, money, riches, love, knowledge, languages, though, reading, scents, friends, family, music. > > Don’t worry, i’m not sad in anyway. I love my life. My brain is living the best day ever non stop 24/7, i take about a hundred supplements. My body keeps sending to my brain “WOWOWOWOW, i feel GGGGGGGGGREAAAT” just like tony the tiger in the junk food frosted flakes cereal 😉. > > (I’m saying this because of what [AKmedic](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AKmedic) said, i might have given the wrong impression in my opening statment.) I’m just a person on the internet. I have no idea who you are, or what your situation is. The only thing I have is text on a message board. When I read your post, I was reminded of another situation. Some of the things that you mentioned sounded like mixed-manic episodes. If you’re like Tom Cruise and reject psychiatry, then good for you as long as you’ve got everything under control. I was trying to illustrate a personal example of someone that I know who was ultimately helped by psychiatry. Just like Jehovah’s Witnesses have a right to refuse blood transfusions, you have the right to refuse medical care. Of course, states have laws to protect people like a 48-hour hold or involuntary commitment if you’re in imminent danger of harming yourself or others… but if you’re not going to harm yourself or anyone else, then you’ve got nothing to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Mohammad\_Shah](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mohammad_shah/32/873_2.png) [@Mohammad\_Shah](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mohammad_Shah)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2006, 7:34am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/8 "2006-12-29T07:34:14Z")
So,Thomas, now you feel like “Tony the Tiger” eh?🙂 Well, it’s a good sign. I’m pretty sure you can handle it. Just take “things” easy ok.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/9 "2007-01-07T19:05:31Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > Since I am confined to my own body and life and I cannot switch lives or bodies with one of you; I have been pondering this weird question for a while. I though that people on pheromonetalk could answer this one for me. > > When I was a child, I acted out my life, it was my choices. I chose my actions, if I wanted to jump I did it, if I wanted to walk to a door, I did it. At this point in my life, I realise that I am watching myself act out my life. My body automatically acts out my life. I feel as if I do not own my life anymore. The only time when I “take charge” of my body is when I am typing something just like right now, during a college exam, or with my true friends that I love and attach importance to. > > Has anyone been living this as I have? Or am I crazy 😉 (NAH, i know i’m not crazy) > > I have just though of another question that I have been pondering since I was in my crib. I’m one of those very rare people that were thinking of what is death and the “meaning of life” ever since I was a baby. I have concluded long ago that there is nothing after death and no point of living. It is truly rare to ask yourself such questions while most babies are busy crying. I honestly remember myself thinking of this. Anyways, my conclusions aren’t import. I want to know if anyone else has this weird “psychedelic”, “end of the world”, “omg my brain will burst”, “AHHHHHHH!!! I feel like I’m falling off the WTC (panic, fear, scared)” feeling when they think of the meaning of life, death and black holes? Because I start to panic and have terrible fears of being alone when I ponder this, the intense fear of falling off a high building to my death. > > Anyone ever have these weird sensations, or am I unique? > > While I reread my post, I realise some of you may think this is a joke, but I’m seriously asking this. I realise I would look like a freak if I asked a friend this. Good thing there is the internet! Have you dipped into Camus and Sartre much? pre World War 1: European world view = God -\> Morality -\> Meaning/Action post WW1: ??? -\> ??? -\> Meaning/Action [The Stranger (novel - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stranger_%28novel)) Ultimately, Camus presents the world as essentially meaningless and therefore, the only way to arrive at any meaning or purpose is to make it oneself. Thus it is the individual and not the act that gives meaning to any given context. Camus deals with this issue, as well as man’s relationship to man and issues such as suicide in his other works such as _[A Happy Death](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Happy_Death)_ and _[The Plague](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Plague),_ as well as his non-fiction works such as _[The Rebel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rebel)_ and _[The Myth of Sisyphus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_Sisyphus)_. === [SparkNotes: The Myth of Sisyphus: Summary](http://www.sparknotes.com/philosophy/sisyphus/summary.html) The central concern of The Myth of Sisyphus is what Camus calls “the absurd.” Camus claims that there is a fundamental conflict between what we want from the universe (whether it be meaning, order, or reasons) and what we find in the universe (formless chaos). We will never find in life itself the meaning that we want to find. Either we will discover that meaning through a leap of faith, by placing our hopes in a God beyond this world, or we will conclude that life is meaningless. Camus opens the essay by asking if this latter conclusion that life is meaningless necessarily leads one to commit suicide. If life has no meaning, does that mean life is not worth living? If that were the case, we would have no option but to make a leap of faith or to commit suicide, says Camus. Camus is interested in pursuing a third possibility: that we can accept and live in a world devoid of meaning or purpose. The absurd is a contradiction that cannot be reconciled, and any attempt to reconcile this contradiction is simply an attempt to escape from it: facing the absurd is struggling against it. Camus claims that existentialist philosophers such as Kierkegaard, Chestov, and Jaspers, and phenomenologists such as Husserl, all confront the contradiction of the absurd but then try to escape from it. Existentialists find no meaning or order in existence and then attempt to find some sort of transcendence or meaning in this very meaninglessness. Living with the absurd, Camus suggests, is a matter of facing this fundamental contradiction and maintaining constant awareness of it. Facing the absurd does not entail suicide, but, on the contrary, allows us to live life to its fullest. ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/10 "2007-01-08T04:06:50Z")
I’m a bit disappointed with the state of existentialism: _“Camus is interested in pursuing a third possibility: that we can accept and live in a world devoid of meaning or purpose.”_ I think that perspective is given the wrong emphasis. I would say, there is a possibility that we can accept and live in a world in which there is no absolute inherent meaning or purpose. Everyone was afraid that without the whole authoritarian church-sponsored and imposed “life meaning”, there would be social anomie. My reason for the quibble is that if there is no inherent, absolute meaning or purpose: **Then we are free to invent our own purposes and meanings as we wish.** Tough if that scares some people… by the logic above, they want to be scared, and have chosen to experience life in those terms on their own … and they are responsible for the meaning they assign to our freedom to make meaning. In fact – I’m much more interested in “making meaning” with someone than I am in “making love” or “having sex”. That’s just me. (BTW, I think all three can happen together 😃) ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/11 "2007-01-08T20:44:05Z")
> [@MarkL](#): > > **Then we are free to invent our own purposes and meanings as we wish.** > > Tough if that scares some people… by the logic above, they want to be scared, and have chosen to experience life in those terms on their own … and they are responsible for the meaning they assign to our freedom to make meaning. > > In fact – I’m much more interested in “making meaning” with someone than I am in “making love” or “having sex”. That’s just me. (BTW, I think all three can happen together 😃) Yes. As you say, existentialism seems a bit naive given the state of knowledge today on neurology and evo psych. Still, perhaps an interesting strain of thought to dip into if one is exploring these issues… ---
**Author:** ![tho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@tho](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tho)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/12 "2007-01-09T03:13:35Z")
> [@PheroQuirk](#): > > Have you dipped into Camus and Sartre much? Not much. For now, I do not feel the need to read their ideas. I have been disappointed every time I read a whole collection of philosophy books about one theory. Why am I disappointed? Well, having started to think years before 99.9999% of humans actually “starts to theorize”, I have already pondered many hundreds of theorizes far more complete than the crap we give MASSIVE credit too those “great philosophers” I find quite unintelligent. To answer your questions, I was able to explain to a 3rd year philosophy class everything about Camus and Sartre without actually opening a single book about them, plainly by reading a small 4 line paragraph while being able to guess their theories that I have though of so many times. People were truly impressed with me. I had to lie that I had read all their books. In my first year philosophy class, I was told by the teacher to “demand the college to credit me all my philosophy classes and send me directly to university”. Many may disagree with me and laugh at the idea of a guy that sees himself as a sage, but I know you guys where in my skin, you would understand. I had people walk up to me and think I was a fool to think that I think I know “all”. Those people later apologized years later and told me I was right for everything. “This” (other than " those\*\*‘\*\* " if it’s not " that\*\*’\*\* ") is why I’m asking these “crazy questions”, since I will never be able to stand in another persons shoes and live their lives. Heck, I’m the only one who actually exists, none of you exist!😮 ---
**Author:** ![Chris](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/chris/32/2267_2.png) [@Chris](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Chris)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/13 "2007-01-09T03:19:47Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > Heck, I’m the only one who actually exists, none of you exist!😮 Can you please distribute that statement to my bill-collectors? ---
**Author:** ![sleekll](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sleekll/32/946_2.png) [@sleekll](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sleekll)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/14 "2007-01-09T03:20:25Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > Since I am confined to my own body and life and I cannot switch lives or bodies with one of you; I have been pondering this weird question for a while. I though that people on pheromonetalk could answer this one for me. > > When I was a child, I acted out my life, it was my choices. I chose my actions, if I wanted to jump I did it, if I wanted to walk to a door, I did it. At this point in my life, I realise that I am watching myself act out my life. My body automatically acts out my life. I feel as if I do not own my life anymore. The only time when I “take charge” of my body is when I am typing something just like right now, during a college exam, or with my true friends that I love and attach importance to. > > Has anyone been living this as I have? Or am I crazy 😉 (NAH, i know i’m not crazy) > > I have just though of another question that I have been pondering since I was in my crib. I’m one of those very rare people that were thinking of what is death and the “meaning of life” ever since I was a baby. I have concluded long ago that there is nothing after death and no point of living. It is truly rare to ask yourself such questions while most babies are busy crying. I honestly remember myself thinking of this. Anyways, my conclusions aren’t import. I want to know if anyone else has this weird “psychedelic”, “end of the world”, “omg my brain will burst”, “AHHHHHHH!!! I feel like I’m falling off the WTC (panic, fear, scared)” feeling when they think of the meaning of life, death and black holes? Because I start to panic and have terrible fears of being alone when I ponder this, the intense fear of falling off a high building to my death. > > Anyone ever have these weird sensations, or am I unique? > > While I reread my post, I realise some of you may think this is a joke, but I’m seriously asking this. I realise I would look like a freak if I asked a friend this. Good thing there is the internet! I felt like this at one point in my life. Many things opened my eyes and forced me back into my two shoes every second. Achieving the rank of Eagle Scout in scouts a few years back (finding out that the morals, goodwill and character traits are not something you ever earn but strive to achieve your whole life, earning the badge is only the first step), martial arts training especially (I was lucky to have a very good, real-thing instructor who taught me both street effective and eastern concepts as chi), watching through David DeAngelos course, and a few broken love affairs and smothered dreams as well as birth of new ones…I’ve traveled MOST the northern hemisphere which is rare for someone my age. Trying out new things such as singing, dancing, fragrance design, modern gun training…going out and doing all those things I wanted to do growing up or now. I will always be my own most challenging enemy, my own biggest obstacle, but through experiencing new things my eyes are pulled open. I still make big successes, sometimes big mistakes… I wont ramble so I am just telling you whats gotten me to a point where I feel I am in the control tower of my life where I previously did not, a feeling very similar to yours. ---
**Author:** ![tho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@tho](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tho)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/15 "2007-01-09T03:27:28Z")
> [@Chris](#): > > Can you please distribute that statement to my bill-collectors? Hmmm, i think i can hear the wind talking 😛 Hmmm, i’m about to randomly say a few words to myself while talking on pheromonetalk: I can’t because you don’t exist 😉 _Q_2 = 0 is nilpotent.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/16 "2007-01-09T15:15:16Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > …At this point in my life, I realise that I am watching myself act out my life… > > I have concluded long ago that there is nothing after death and no point of living… > > ..I want to know if anyone else has this weird “psychedelic”, “end of the world”, “omg my brain will burst”, “AHHHHHHH!!! I feel like I’m falling off the WTC (panic, fear, scared)” feeling when they think of the meaning of life, death and black holes? Because I start to panic and have terrible fears of being alone when I ponder this, the intense fear of falling off a high building to my death… Interesting questions, and interesting that you would post them on this forum. You have described part of the human condition. In as much as we are all human we all share part of it. In as much as we are all separate entities we all have a slightly different take on it. The detachment, or watching you describe, is used in some traditions as a spiritual exercise. It does not come as naturally to everyone as to you. Something you might try. When you feel “panic, fear, scared”, have the watcher inquire, “Who is it that is scared?” Easier said than done, as if emotions have control the watcher has usually been pushed to the background. It may be that your conclusions concerning “point of living” and “meaning” are absolutely correct for where you have been looking, but would be entirely different if you looked in a previously unexamined direction. Unfortunately, those changes of viewpoint are largely experiential and difficult to communicate. ---
**Author:** ![Gucman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@Gucman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gucman)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 9:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/17 "2007-01-16T09:19:24Z")
I’ts in the nature of every living human to wonder about his destination after this life.. May the Allmighty guide you. ---
**Author:** ![saraunne](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/saraunne/32/193_2.png) [@saraunne](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/saraunne)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/18 "2007-01-16T17:01:33Z")
> [@thomaslavoie](#): > > Heck, I’m the only one who actually exists, none of you exist!😮 > > Hmmm, i’m about to randomly say a few words to myself while talking on pheromonetalk: I can’t > because you don’t exist 😉 Sounds like someone has a bad case of solipsism. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lancepstriker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lancepstriker](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lancepstriker)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2007, 6:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/feeling-like-im-watching-my-body-live-my-life-does-anyone-else-feel-this/1299/19 "2007-01-18T06:18:44Z")
Actually it isn’t that wierd of a question. I have also pondered that same question since I was a young child about the meaning of life and death and also the existence of god. That last one is one that really gets me going because I’m almost to the point to where I’m disproving him 😃 lol. Anywho don’t feel like you being wierd is a bad thing. If you want to get technical, everyone is wierd to somebody, it’s just a point of view really. Someone calling me wierd is a compliment, because in most cases I would shoot myself if I were like them. \*holds gun in hand and dares anyone to question this o.0 \*