# Female fear of relationship **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [August 23, 2007, 5:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222 "2007-08-23T05:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sweetsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@sweetsense](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sweetsense)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2007, 5:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/1 "2007-08-23T05:29:20Z")
Well, after several ljbf responses,and she is being a friend, were very close, she now admits it’s fear holding her back. She gave me a rundown on her past, her 1st fiance turn out to be a drug pusher, she broke up with him when she found it out. Later he was killed in his house over a bad deal, 1st husband wouldn’t keep a job, died after an odd job accident, 2nd husband was controlling, verbally abusvive (varified by her daughter) but did work. Any suggestions? A314 to gain trust? Jerk to be more like the men she’s attracted to in the past? ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2007, 5:33am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/2 "2007-08-23T05:33:12Z")
Sounds like she has darn good reason to be fearful. She has a history of attracting/picking losers. A314 is great for professional use: enhancing respect, communication and command structure. I don’t think it does much for trust and romance. Methinks you need to do it the hard way: spend a lot of time building and earning trust. Mones won’t help much here… ---
**Author:** ![sweetsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@sweetsense](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sweetsense)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2007, 5:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/3 "2007-08-23T05:50:54Z")
Thanks Gegogi, It feels strange, we go out together 2-3 times a week, sit together in church, our friends consider us a dating couple, I’m the one she calls when she’s depressed or has good news. She hasn’t gone out with anyone else in over 4 years since her divorce, but still doesn’t consider us as dating, but is not ruling a future together. Sometimes she accuses me of treating like a wife (she was friends with my late wife, and that I treat her the same, but says I treated her very well) ---
**Author:** ![Scaro](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/scaro/32/2439_2.png) [@Scaro](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Scaro)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2007, 5:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/4 "2007-08-23T05:57:23Z")
I don’t want to be mean, but please ask yourself, is she really attracted to you? From your description you are in the friend zone. And while it is very common to immediately be sympathetic to her sob story, what is the common element in those relationships? Her. That kind of tale should be screaming red flags like crazy to you. If a woman has a long history of going after badboys she doesn’t get to complain that bad things happen, she’s addicted to the drama, and drama comes in good and bad forms. So no, you should not use a314 or instant jerk, you should stop seeing her and start dating other women (there are 3 billion) that are actually quality women and worth your time. Negative rep point me all you want, nothing good will come out of this situation for you. ---
**Author:** ![lets-do-that](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lets-do-that](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lets-do-that)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2007, 7:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/5 "2007-08-23T07:20:49Z")
i think pheros would not help.. too deep psychology.. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 2:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/6 "2007-08-24T02:08:54Z")
Hate to say it but scaro has a point sort of (lol 😉 ) She is not ready for a relationship. Keep being her friend but start dating others she may get over her fear real fast then. If she dosnt life is to short to sit around waiting. Go out and grab it by the balls. Sh!t I think I am wearing to much TAL today LOL The A314 probably wont hurt so you should give it a go. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![sweetsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@sweetsense](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sweetsense)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/7 "2007-08-24T02:44:54Z")
Thanks Tisha and scaro, Actually i have dated other women since my wife passed, and this lady met one, I sat between them in church (Yikes) It seems to have drawn us closer, says she knows the other lady is not right for me (I’m non-smoker, # 2 lady is a chain smoker)++++++++++++++++++++++ ---
**Author:** ![TheAttractor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theattractor/32/575_2.png) [@TheAttractor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheAttractor)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/8 "2009-04-16T01:39:42Z")
> [@Scaro](#): > > I don’t want to be mean, but please ask yourself, is she really attracted to you? From your description you are in the friend zone. And while it is very common to immediately be sympathetic to her sob story, what is the common element in those relationships? Her. That kind of tale should be screaming red flags like crazy to you. If a woman has a long history of going after badboys she doesn’t get to complain that bad things happen, she’s addicted to the drama, and drama comes in good and bad forms. > > So no, you should not use a314 or instant jerk, you should stop seeing her and start dating other women (there are 3 billion) that are actually quality women and worth your time. Negative rep point me all you want, nothing good will come out of this situation for you. I agree with your post in general. However, if the woman has been a good friend to him, excluding the complaints about the jerks (not the Instant kind) she slept with, then I don’t think there’s a need for him to stop seeing her. He should still date other women who are attracted to him, to get out of habit of platonic relationships with women. But there’s no harm in keeping in touch with the friend. That will result in one of the two things. One, she might respect him more after seeing him with other women; this may or may not result in creating attraction. Two, she might spend less time with him, because he’ll stop being an emotional soundboard for her. ---
**Author:** ![sweetsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@sweetsense](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sweetsense)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/female-fear-of-relationship/5222/9 "2009-04-16T16:28:09Z")
> [@TheAttractor](#): > > I agree with your post in general. However, if the woman has been a good friend to him, excluding the complaints about the jerks (not the Instant kind) she slept with, then I don’t think there’s a need for him to stop seeing her. He should still date other women who are attracted to him, to get out of habit of platonic relationships with women. But there’s no harm in keeping in touch with the friend. That will result in one of the two things. One, she might respect him more after seeing him with other women; this may or may not result in creating attraction. Two, she might spend less time with him, because he’ll stop being an emotional soundboard for her. Actually, I married the lady in June. Her friends kept encouraging her to accept me, and she realized she was jealous when seeing me with other women.