# For a marriage... **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 16, 2008, 2:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932 "2008-11-16T02:47:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![outheo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@outheo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/outheo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 2:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/1 "2008-11-16T02:47:25Z")
I’m 33 y/o, male from the central coast of california. What I’m asking here may or may not seem like a strange question about pheromones. I’m married, happily for nearly six years. We have a 4 y/o child. My wife (34 y/o) is very attractive, tall (5’10), thin (26 w) and very nicely proportioned. She used to dress (and thus act) very provocatively when we were dating and first married: e.g. stockings, lingerie, short dresses and skirts and hi-heels. That stopped around the time she got pregnant. I understand that she may not feel as sexy as a mother as she did when she was just a wife and I was wondering if there may be a [pheromone formula](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) that I could utilize that would either inspire her to exhibit that old provocative behavior or a formula that would make her more susceptible to that suggestion? Any and all advice will be helpful ---
**Author:** ![ntk23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/65b543/32.png) [@ntk23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ntk23)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 2:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/2 "2008-11-16T02:56:01Z")
Hi Outheo. I noticed this is your first post. If you make a thread in the New Users’ forum: [Introductions - New Users, Say “Hello” and Get $25! at PheromoneTalk.com](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/introductions-new-users-say-hello-get/) you can get a $25 Androtics gift certificate - read this thread: [https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-i-qualify-for-a-25-gift-certificate/19934](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-i-qualify-for-a-25-gift-certificate/19934) and lots of people will be at hand to make recommendations. And your question is by no means strange or atypical. In fact, a lot of similar situations are posted here on an almost daily basis. A great deal of posters here are married. ---
**Author:** ![perronec](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/perronec/32/1280_2.png) [@perronec](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/perronec)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 3:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/3 "2008-11-16T03:00:30Z")
products containing androstenone. Ammunition(good for attraction and that “oooo come here you” look) Turn up the heat(“you smell like sex” she says while playing with her hair) p83 will make both of these mixes seem more effective and pronounced. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/4 "2008-11-16T03:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I understand that she may not feel as sexy as a mother as she did when she was just a wife and I was wondering if there may be a pheromone formula that I could utilize that would either inspire her to exhibit that old provocative behavior or a formula that would make her more susceptible to that suggestion? Nope. All sexual mones can do is help draw out a little horniness. If you want her to dress up and act provocative, you should straight up ask her to do it. Of course you should expect to return the favor as it takes two to tango. Hopefully she won’t require you to wear a fireman outfit… ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 9:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/5 "2008-11-16T09:57:32Z")
Hey wait I like the fireman outfit ☹😛 My opinion, Yes and no LOL Its gonna take more then the mones to do it. She has to have a desire to do it. Now if she wore certain mones it could increase her desire a little by making her feel more sexy thus automatically she will revert back to old behavoir. This is seen alot with Isexiness. You wearing some sexual masculine mones will help her become more aroused. Like TUTH or AMMO. Wont make her put on the thong and stockings though. Your best bet is to gently and I mean gently drop some hints. Show her that you still find her sexy even though she has spit up on her shirt. Kids are a great joy but they suck all the energy and will out of you in those early years. Life becomes about them and there is no way around that for parents. You learn to deal with it and find ways around it. Be sure to get a babysitter at least twice a month and get out just you and her. Go somewhere nice so she can dress up and feel sexy. Then gently bring up the subject telling her how sexy she looks and how you miss that but you understand because the kids make it harder. Christmas is coming, Hit Victoria secrets with all the rest of the embarrassed men and pick up some sexy things for her. If you really cant bring yourself to do it ask a female relative or friend to do it for you. I shop for a few male friends, girlfriends because they are to embarrassed to do it and dont know what to get. Now if she is feeling unsexy because of mom issues or just dosnt have time to spend in the bathroom anymore, which believe me is a problem when you have kids… I have 2 kids and when they were little as soon as you entered the bathroom they were outside the door yelling MAAAAAA. Anyways back on subject… You can spend time working out with her which can get both your endorphins flowing and lead to fun. You can pick up some bath goodies at the VS and give her those so she can have some beauty time to her self. Keep the kids away from the door though… better yet put on a video for them to watch and sneak in there with her. If they stand outside the door yelling “what ya doing in there” tell them mom has a splinter I gotta get out or something LOL My hubby used to come up with some really good ones. (snort) You can get her a Gift certificate to go to your local spa for a pamper day. Have that be from the kids and she will still know its from you. I know you work all day and are tired to but kids really are harder then work. They need constant attention and you dont get to take a break often. Just remember if all else fails they do grow up and it gets easier. Mine are 21 and 14 now and I kinda miss getting splinters in the bathroom. Then again dont rule out a sexy fireman outfit, put it on, get in there and start some fires. 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![data4](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/data4/32/272_2.png) [@data4](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/data4)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/6 "2008-11-16T11:16:02Z")
Being a woman, Tisha obviously gave you the spot-on advice, and I just want to echo it as a man. Women don’t mind being told they’re sexy, as long as you’re sincere about it and not sarcastic. The phero advice here is fine, but I’m a believer in conventional methods along with the pheros when it comes to existing relationships. Try to arrange a babysitter and devote an evening to just the two of you. Don’t worry about being cliche, because women DO appreciate the little things like a nice romantic comedy, dinner (do you cook? If so, make her something special), a card that simply says “thank you for being you”, etc. Got any day spas in your area? Treat her to one. The main thing is to let her feel sexy and she’ll be more willing to BE sexy. Life can get in the way and it’s really hard on both people in a relationship. Guys suffer the same problems too. We can get complacent and can slowly metamorphisize away from “the man I fell in love with”, just because we shift roles from being the hunter to being the provider. Hunters need to look good, be spontaneous, and take risks to reach their goals. Providers simply have to work to fund the household and take care of “honey-dos” (at least, that’s how it seems sometimes. 😉) We tend to lose sight on those things that first attracted us to our mates and take for granted that the relationship exists. When we can break out of the routine, be daring and spontanous, that’s where the flames can be rekindled. So, my additional advice to you is to try to be that. Do something out of the ordinary that you’ll both enjoy just for the sheer, unadulterated, hell of it. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it. Sorry if I went on a bit of a tangent there, and I wish you the best for your marriage! -D4 ---
**Author:** ![emmie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/emmie/32/738_2.png) [@emmie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/emmie)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/7 "2008-11-16T11:56:58Z")
I think you sound like a truly lovely guy! She’s very lucky to have you. I would suggesty remaining honest with her and, asking her for alittle slap and tickle. You are obviously devoted to her and your family. What wonderful qualities in this day and age. ---
**Author:** ![diamond](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diamond/32/859_2.png) [@diamond](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diamond)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/8 "2008-11-16T21:37:11Z")
I’ve been on here for about two months and have lost count of the number of guys that have joined since me in the same boat as you (and me!!!). i’ve got two young kids and know exactly where you are coming from My phero advice, Instant Honesty and [Instant Female Magic](https://a314.com/product/instant-female-magic/) to get you two communicating properly ( leave the Turn up the Heat for now!!) Main advice, find any post by bosshank and look at his signature block, there’s a link to a thread on advice for married guys, read it, learn from it and act on it. My journal is in the Men’s section, may strike a chord with a couple of tips but overall,learn from bosshank. ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/9 "2008-11-16T22:42:30Z")
You have gotten a lot of good advice here. The one thing I would add is try reading the thread in my signature block for married guys. A lot of smart people added some really good comments and hopefully it may help you some … ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/10 "2008-11-16T22:51:20Z")
> [@diamond](#): > > _ **find any post by bosshank and look at his signature block, there’s a link to a thread on advice for married guys, read it, learn from it and act on it.** _ > > _ **learn from bosshank.** _ 😉… ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/11 "2008-11-16T22:57:25Z")
LOL. Learn the easy way by reading what bosshank learned the hard way … lol. It works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/12 "2008-11-16T23:18:46Z")
> [@bosshank](#): > > _ **Learn the easy way what bosshank learned the hard way…** _ “Bosshank’s Guide For The Married Man”…?..for Dummies? 😛 🆒 …the dummies part J/K. I give you guys credit for loving yourselves, your wives and children enough to do what ever it takes. To pull out all the stops to make your marriage what you want and know it can be. 🙂 That’s what it’s all about. 😉 Bella ---
**Author:** ![diamond](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diamond/32/859_2.png) [@diamond](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diamond)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/13 "2008-11-17T09:43:07Z")
> [@bosshank](#): > > LOL. Learn the easy way by reading what bosshank learned the hard way … lol. It works for me. Experience - learning from your own mistakes Wisdom - learning from other peoples!! That’s why the young get experience and the less young get wise 😉 ---
**Author:** ![outheo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@outheo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/outheo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/14 "2008-11-18T15:00:31Z")
I already do the dishes, take out the trash, etc. I’m not one of those awkward men in Victorias Secret. I’m proud of my ability to stroll confidently through the store, pick out bras and panties in my wife’s size and walk around the mall for the rest of the day carrying that horribly obvious pink bag. I’ve discussed the issue with her and her reservations are that she (as my wife) shouldn’t have to work so hard to satisfy me. This is exhibited by the fact that in bed I spend about 25-30 minutes on her and my half of the action is over in about 2 1/2-3 minutes. Its not because I don’t have stamina but because I get the ‘are you done yet?’ look or even question sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love her more today than I did when we first met. I simply get the feeling that I’ve been ‘baited and switched’ and I don’t feel as though she’s as interested in me sexually as I am with her All that being said: I’ve decided to go with Instant Honesty first and move on to IFM. If that doesn’t work, maybe [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/)/A314? Not necessarily all in combinations immediately. If I can make it happen with IH then i’m probably gonna stop there. ---
**Author:** ![diamond](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diamond/32/859_2.png) [@diamond](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diamond)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/15 "2008-11-18T15:16:53Z")
> [@outheo](#): > > I already do the dishes, take out the trash, etc. I’m not one of those awkward men in Victorias Secret. I’m proud of my ability to stroll confidently through the store, pick out bras and panties in my wife’s size and walk around the mall for the rest of the day carrying that horribly obvious pink bag. > > I’ve discussed the issue with her and her reservations are that she (as my wife) shouldn’t have to work so hard to satisfy me. This is exhibited by the fact that in bed I spend about 25-30 minutes on her and my half of the action is over in about 2 1/2-3 minutes. Its not because I don’t have stamina but because I get the ‘are you done yet?’ look or even question sometimes. > > Don’t get me wrong, I love her more today than I did when we first met. I simply get the feeling that I’ve been ‘baited and switched’ and I don’t feel as though she’s as interested in me sexually as I am with her > All that being said: > I’ve decided to go with Instant Honesty first and move on to IFM. If that doesn’t work, maybe Instant Openness/A314? > > Not necessarily all in combinations immediately. If I can make it happen with IH then i’m probably gonna stop there. Your situation is so similar to mine that it’s scary. Just remember it will take time, don’t expect results overnight. I know what you mean, you do more than your share of the chores, play with the kids etc and feel as if she doesn’t respect you enough to enjoy sex. Look at it from her point of view, she is tired and wants to sleep. I don’t want you to answer this on the forum but just consider whether you pressure her into sex, if so, how would you feel. Us guys get turned on like a switch, for a woman it’s more like the control panels in a 747, 60 or so dials, switches and levers all to be manipulated to the right place at the right time!! Hell, I haven’t had any for a year, just flew her to Europe for a long weekend and still none, guess what, I’m not giving up! It’s called love, it ain’t meant to be easy 😉 ---
**Author:** ![curious1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@curious1976](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/curious1976)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 1:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/16 "2008-11-19T01:58:39Z")
> [@outheo](#): > > I already do the dishes, take out the trash, etc. I’m not one of those awkward men in Victorias Secret. I’m proud of my ability to stroll confidently through the store, pick out bras and panties in my wife’s size and walk around the mall for the rest of the day carrying that horribly obvious pink bag. > > I’ve discussed the issue with her and her reservations are that she (as my wife) shouldn’t have to work so hard to satisfy me. This is exhibited by the fact that in bed I spend about 25-30 minutes on her and my half of the action is over in about 2 1/2-3 minutes. Its not because I don’t have stamina but because I get the ‘are you done yet?’ look or even question sometimes. > > Don’t get me wrong, I love her more today than I did when we first met. I simply get the feeling that I’ve been ‘baited and switched’ and I don’t feel as though she’s as interested in me sexually as I am with her > All that being said: > I’ve decided to go with Instant Honesty first and move on to IFM. If that doesn’t work, maybe Instant Openness/A314? > > Not necessarily all in combinations immediately. If I can make it happen with IH then i’m probably gonna stop there. I’m in the same boat. As I write this, I have already done the dishes and cleaned around the house, our little girl is in bed, and I’ve built a fire in the fireplace. She gets home from her class in about an hour. As a test I am only using Ammo tonight - just to see what effects it has on her. Good luck with the [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/). P.S. I carry my pink VS bag around the mall with pride hahaa ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/17 "2008-11-19T02:08:29Z")
> [@diamond](#): > > Just remember it will take time, don’t expect results overnight. Very very true … > [@diamond](#): > > Us guys get turned on like a switch, for a woman it’s more like the control panels in a 747, 60 or so dials, switches and levers all to be manipulated to the right place at the right time!! And all too easy to accidentally deploy the air-brakes … > [@diamond](#): > > Hell, I haven’t had any for a year 😮 > [@curious1976](#): > > P.S. I carry my pink VS bag around the mall with pride hahaa As long as you are not wearing the matching pink shoes you are OK. Seriously though - good luck guys. I really hope all your efforts are appreciated and pay off. ---
**Author:** ![outheo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@outheo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/outheo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/18 "2008-11-19T16:22:52Z")
Okay, not going to be using [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) on my wife. We’ve had the discussion, during which I addressed the issue of her sex appeal. She got extremely defensive and ultimately admitted that it was her intention to be sexy just long enough to make sure I wouldn’t lose interest. She is now my estranged wife. I spent last night in a hotel and just got back from the divorce attorney. I guess now I can use the 'mones on someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 10:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/19 "2008-11-19T22:52:51Z")
You know, outheo, sometimes when we get hit hard we say things out of anger that we later regret having said. I feel for you and know you’re hurt and angry. She’s hurt and angry too and doesn’t like/want to face this…for whatever reason. Maybe she needs (more) time to get herself straightened out. Did she tell you she doesn’t love you anymore? Did she say she no longer desires you or/and that she no longer wants to be married to you? Obviously this is a situation where no amount of pheromones is going to help. I’m going to suggest, that if _both of you_ want your marriage to work, you approach her with the idea of couples counseling. If she’s not willing and you still want to try to save your marriage, go by yourself. If, after a reasonable amount of time in counseling, you/she find that it’s not helping your situation and you’re still not on the same page, then it may be time to move on. You’ve got a lot invested here, (many happy years together and children). If I were you I’d give it another chance before ditching it. You owe it to yourself and everybody concerned. It may seem like the answer, especially at the moment, to walk away…when it’s often the better choice to stay on the horse you’re riding. I know this is none of my beeswax, but since you posted your troubles and asked for help…my nickle. Despite what you may think, I’m in your corner. 🙂 😉 I wish you the best and hope it turns out the way you want it to. Bella ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932/20 "2008-11-20T01:52:44Z")
I concur whole-heartedly with Bella. Not saying you have not but please really consider all the ramifications of divorce and please consider all that Bella has said. [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/for-a-marriage/22932.md?page=2)