# Freaks journal **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [May 21, 2010, 11:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767 "2010-05-21T11:31:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 11:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/1 "2010-05-21T11:31:17Z")
I joined this site over a year ago..I had bought a whole bunch of products and went mone crazy. Not sure what made me do it, but AD clinched my interest the most. I looked at other manufacturers, but AD seemed the one for me. They had variety and shit too. Alot of others got very scammy feedback all over the internet. Probably exactly cause of this forum, and the amount of people who believed in the pheroeffect, I got IS, and true to lable it seemed to do what it was sposed to do, soon after I got IO, IH, IJ, TUTH, A314, and IFM after experiencing the IS..Was hooked to the idea at least. I usually work in a highschool for kids with multiple types of physical and mental disabilities. I figured maybe a pheromone concoction would help me handle the more aggressive and sometimes diagnosed psychotic ones more favorably. Maybe an intimidating phero mix would help? Or maybe one that made them like me more..They’d be less inclined to tear the room up or throw chairs and tables and more inclined to listen to what I have to say, theoretically, right? Also, as a sub, my steady employment more or less depends on having good social skills and good work performance, that way I can get call backs, good reviews and the golden “long term assignment”, that is when someone gets sick or as is usually the case, injured, and is out for a prolonged period of time. I often work in random schools all over 5 boroughs, with random people and random students with random needs. I guess this would be a retrospective mostly. I haven’t restocked in a while..I tend to use sparingly. The one I probably use the most is instant shine. The least would be a tie between TUTH, IJ and A314, mostly because I wear the products at work. I work in the special ed field, and I can say that the pheroeffect is very real. Everytime I wore IJ my day became a real friggen hassle. Kids would get overtly uncooperative, insubordinate, aggressive and on some occasions even violently combative. When I first started using them I was relatively unexperienced with the more dangerous subtleties of my work life. E.g, psychotically aggressive mentally handicapped people I was assigned to work with. I’d call my job basically the classroom bouncer. I’ve worked all over the NY area as a substitute para. And thats basically what I do..Keep order in the classroom. Most of my coworkers are generally larger guys, a good deal of them fit the bouncer type and many of them actually moonlight in that regard, so as someone who’s not above 6’ and usually soft spoken with a very kind and relaxed demeanor, what do you do to convince a kid who’s nonverbal that it would be a bad idea to bash your head in when your not looking? But its not just mentally handicapped, I often find work in special ed schools for kids with severe behavioral and emotional (and often legal) problems as well..All in all, I’ve worked with basically every kind of child there is. Happily, experience has taught me confidence wins the day. How do you control a child when your scared of how that kid might react to commands etc..They smell fear! And [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) too. I remember vividly this one kid who would grab my wrists alot, he’d just smell my hands where I’d put my daily mix. It was funny cause he wouldn’t do it when I wasn’t wearing it or just regular cologne. I never dared to wear TUTH at work but for once as a ‘test’, it made the kids act up so I wouldn’t ever wear it, especially since I’ve had a problem with MR girls hit on me if not actually sexually molest me on a handful of occasions. My female coworkers routinely would comment “they have good tastes”. I’m also have a nickname as the hot para. I bought the a314 to help with my classroom authority figure vibe. “I’m not here to be your buddy so you better listen to me”. I don’t normally use it..Not sure why lately though. Used it on a friend date with these 3 girls I just met, had great effects, self effect included. I usually become alot more formal, use honorifics in my speech like sir and the like..Not in an ass kissing way, but certainly give off this oddly hypermasculine macho polite vibe. Kids have asked me if I was in the military while wearing it. It does its thing at work..But with the kids I work with generally, it only has a niche application. Probably cause of incongruence or something. I’m a very laid back and hard to get a rise out of guy in general. Even pretty lax in the disciplinarian sense..And the behaviorally and emotionally disturbed kids I would work with are usually uncomfortable with authority figures anyway. It’d lead to confrontations and what I would hesitantly call confusion..I’d get these looks. Like they we’re following my cues, ALOT..And my cues aren’t always the most fitting to a classroom environment where teachers need to conduct lessons. I’d have to be very careful. I worked in this very violent grade school, first day the whole class of twelve (ages 6-9) and even the one girl in it erupted into a whole class fight. Ridiculousness. Wearing a314 would help sometimes, but only if your into the follow through, the no nonsense no playing around thing, yelling alot I don’t take no kind of crap ever. Its not really my MO. Its weird, kids would get very confrontational, probably acting out because of intimidation or something. I’d get confused looks too..Like I was someone different. Not only that, the hot elementary school teachers I’ve worked with were intimidated by it. I can be very reserved at best, distant and mysterious…I remember the class I had a long term assignment at, this hot coworker asked me to do her a favor, it was something stupid and simple, I was surprised with the temerity and hesitation she approached me with. It totally kills my laid back vibe, replaces it with this intense, serious one. Its all me though, not something completely unnatural, but these things certainly do seem to enhance certain moods and traits of mine. I use IS the most. Usually cause of its social and self effects. Depends on the work environment. With my mix, I can usually make a mind blowing first impression in most schools. I’ll tailor it to the schools vibe too. Violent kids no a314, impulse control kids can’t be around IH..And never never NEVER IJ. That shit should be illegal. I sprayed it around my one friend the other day, he was a big responder, I’ve noticed it with him before, he actually tried to punch me. Was being an asshole the whole night to everyone. lol, then I sprayed him with IH and IO and fixed him. Definitely not placebo neither, he didn’t even know what I sprayed him with. The whole night was more mellow afterwards. I sprayed another friend with IO, the night was great. Afterwards, on being sprayed with IS, he immediately commented without knowing what I sprayed him with that he felt more confident. It really sold me more than I already was…I recommend to every to spray some friends down and look in the mirror so to speak at what your wearing everyday, the effects are very noticable, even on yourself..You’d figure they’d be diminished with everyday use, but on other people they still work on you. You really notice. I’ll often put a little IO under my nose to combat my own reservations. IS just to get attention on wrists. IH too so people aren’t so intimidated by my naturally “I really don’t give a shit” unknowable vibe. IJ goes under the nose too for self effect, never anywhere else. I barely use the IFM..I worry cause people say it stinks. Smells like alcohol to me, but I don’t want to get known as the smelly guy. Yesterday, on reading forums where people use many more sprays then myself (.5-2 sprays tops of everything is what I use), I decided to really max out the pheros before class. See what happens.. 6 IH, 6 IS, 6 IO, 4 TUTH, 2 IFM to the back of the neck, 2 a314, and fuck it, I even put on the jerk. To math class I went. I had the strut going man..This powerful walking to music walk. I normally have a hypermasculine way about me anyway, but dude, this was redic. Getting on my college campus some guy I don’t know but have walked by occasionally said hi, shook my hand, asked if I was in a class with him. It was funny. Maybe he’s noticed me? Hit? Probably. I’m usually not very approachable when I’m in a rush, look like I’m gonna beat someone up. In math class, I happen to be virtually sorrounded by women. There’s only one guy in my immediate vicinity. I’m pretty sure he steals some of my thunder from the pheros. Congruence is important..If he acts the way I smell, no doubt pheros can work against you, sorta. But consider it just bigging up your competitors. I’ve noticed this many times. I think sometimes chicks can pick it up like its coming from someone else. Especially if your loading on strong pheros and coming off mild to people. Anyway, hits? One, the fact I got the harem effect. I’m sorrounded by women in that math class. The only class that got the distinction of having a first and also phero impression, my experiment..I laid off the pheros on my other classes, at least at first, to see if i could notice a difference. Second, this one girl is always touching me. Girls (and the few guys have moved into my zone) in the class in general always are with the pheros. For me, this is unusual, I kinda give off a very don’t touch vibe. Its actually a little shocking for me sometimes, women almost never touch me casually. Always on the hand or shoulder…Not sexual, but affectionate or asking for help. I ran into this girl one day in the halls, gave her a hug, made for some very awkward yet mutual conversation, what seemed to go through her mind “Hi, I have no idea why I’m talking to you, but I noticed you, yeah, what are you doing here? to bad I’m at work in the media center”. These things are certainly subtle..I like the social ones the most. I wanna invest in a set of new ones that I don’t already have, the putatives maybe..And maybe expand on the sexual ones. I got sex appeal I guess, but I want something will make chicks wanna reach out and touch, get aggressive..I’m not good at approaching girls, I always feel more comfortable with them talking to me first. Gonna start experimenting with the a314 again and the jerk, IFM too. I think I might under use those ones. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 9:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/2 "2010-06-12T09:24:25Z")
Funny work hit Alright, so I go to work today at the usual place. I decided to wear a drop of a1314 and three sprays of the 2x IH. Day to day work is kinda random, I don’t always know who I’m gonna be working with, what class, the kids, the people…Today I’m working with this guy. I have no idea who his kids are or who’s in his class, just that the kids are in the gym. So, I go to the place where the class is supposed to be. Alright, so I see this one kid standing in the spot under the classroom number poster in the gym. I say what up to him, ask him where his teacher is, I’m not really very familiar with him. He’s echolalic autistic, only repeats back to me what I just said to him so he’s not very informative. I joke around with him, get him to say some funny shit. lol whatever, I make the job interesting alright? I give some dap to two other kids standing in the vicinity, I know them..Not sure what class they’re in, there’s alot of chaos in the gym, kids just wandering around and stuff. Funny hit #1, this girl comes over to me. She’s got rhet syndrome, so she’s not big on talking and big on drooling instead. She makes funny noises and smiles at me. I says my hello..She’s lurking around me for like 10 minutes. It is what it is…Sometimes she does that without the pheros, so, idk. I’m a good looking guy…She’s just saying hi…By screaming at me… Major hit. Alright. 10 minutes go by and the teacher hasn’t arrived in the gym to pick his kids up yet, I’m getting impatient and pissed off, I have no idea where his fuckin class is either, who his kids are, there are no other para’s here, they’re all probably chilling in the classroom doing nothing, says to myself “fuck man, I should’ve just asked admin for the classroom and just went there..”, so I ask around..Leave the gym. I run up the stairs breakneck speed, i’m a maniac, dog the stairs three at a time, thats just who I am alright? So I notice the one kid following me. No big deal, I’ll take him upstairs. Hope he keeps up, he’s autistic, but not STUPID..I don’t know him, but he knows where his class is anyway I’m SURE of it. Experience at my job allows me to understand such things. I hear some laughing and ruckus and stuff behind me down the stairs. See this one other kid I gave dap to laughing and following me too running up the stairs with me with another few kids, I think to myself “damn, I hope their para is with them” lol. By the time I’m at the third floor, I get out the stairwell, see my teacher and notice right behind me I got three kids followed me up the stairs when I left. Big A314 hit man…The entire class that was there followed me upstairs, I didn’t even know they were in my class, I had no idea, but it worked out cause apparently they knew I was their teacher. Funny shit. Made a nice impression, brought the class up to the room without even asking or for that matter, trying. They just followed the leader. It happened twice that day..I got up when the teacher asked me to do something outside of class, the entire class got up with me went to leave with me. It was pretty funny. Had to ask them to sit down again lol. I have a funny job sometimes..It can be goofy. Never a dull moment, well, usually. As for hits with the staff…Not much in that department. Its not really a big deal. Was in an easy class, on the third floor, that’s the penthouse, means the kids are higher functioning. If there was a staff hit, it was the teacher constantly asking me to do shit for him. My dean was abnormally nice..She gives me attitude sometimes, but she gave me the keys to her office to put something in there…She was very nice, respectful today. Mr freak thinks instant openness has no place in a school…Instant honesty however seems OK. IO gives staff hits though, makes the kids treat you like a play thing…But the A314 and IH..Good job mix today I think. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/3 "2010-06-19T20:07:19Z")
Going to the gym. I been trying to lose weight lately. Workout. Last year I was a monster, lean and strong. Now I’m kinda a mashmellow. Kinda. Lack of sleep, stress, and lots of bullshit kept me from going to the gym. So, naturally, stress, lack of sleep and over eating got me fat instead. A pretty whack state of affairs. Anyway. I got some new mones in the mail, mx297, mx 301, P79, P83, and P86 (all my putatives are at 25mcg). Was dying to test them out. Gym setting isn’t exactly what I was looking for, but I don’t have summer classes to test on and the eagerness got to me. So. I spray on some 297. A half spray of IO, a half spray of IJ, a spray of p79, a spray of p83 and two sprays of p86. Self effects? None really. At least at first. Sitting around my house waiting for my bro to get there, I was very very impatient. But, I sure did smell nice. Neck was itchy. I’ve read about that, I think its either the p86 or p83, don’t remember who said it but its a definite effect independent of my readings. Wasn’t expecting that one. Alright, bro gets here, we walk out the door. I’m looking down the block walking and I see this chick. I think to myself, “oh, she’s a hotie”. Must be a distance of 60-70 ft or so. She’s far away. As she draws closer I notice she’s old and busted. Say to myself “Now how the hell did that happen?”. P86 hit self effect?? It happened several times on my way to the gym. Old and busted were looking alright. Weird shit. Pretty girls weren’t looking prettier though, I don’t think.. I get to the gym and bust my ass, its leg day. Can’t say I noticed anything special. Lots of dudes around..Few girls. This was the back area with the freeweights, chicks don’t normally hang around there. Later, I move into the front of the gym, the machine area, chicks are in abundance. Lots of hot girls. I can’t say I noticed abnormal staring. If anything, I felt more invisible than normal. I’m a fairly good looking guy, normally I get some looks, but I guess this day wasn’t my lucky day for that one. I dunno. Was wearing a wife beater, I’m kinda a chubster lately, maybe I looked like white trash or something. I sure do got thick muscles even so, but lots of dudes there do AND are more cut. I don’t really have much to show off yet..But who gives a shit, if I don’t look that great now, give me a few months and a little weight loss, guarantee I’ll look even better. Self effect? Normally I’m a little selfconscious, I wouldn’t normally wear a wife beater while working out. Maybe there’s something to that. Bout to head out the door, my bro talks to the receptionist at the front desk. I noticed her from a distance. Sexy, sexy woman. Definitely a ten. Egyptian, soft olive skin. Nice breasts, the most awesome ass you have ever seen in your life. Better than Jenny Hendrix or Kristina Rose at their best. I have never talked to her before. I stand next to my bro while he chats her up, she makes eye contact with me, says “I know you from somewhere? Did you go to sheepshead with me?” (my highschool). In all reality now I know I never noticed her in highschool, junior high or elementary school at all, and I’d be frankly surprised if she noticed me back then too, but apparently we went through many years of school together, she’s seen me around. I mention I strangled my principal in highschool and got expelled, her eyes light up weirdly. She’s definitely into the badass, you can just tell. IJ is working wonders on her prolly, or maybe my man stink and all those pheros dripping off me with sweat. Outrageous [pheromone](https://a314.com/) profile, it had to be. OUTRAGEOUS. Like, no natural person would ooze that much. Lots of eye contact during the whole unnaturally extended conversation (I just wanted to leave, I didn’t give a fuck about this chick, ten and all that she was, self effect ??? mx297 or something? Besides, as I understood a pretty girl like that cannot possibly not be taken) I comment on her yellow nails. Probably a mild amount of disrespect in my voice. She picks up the phone, ignoring the group of people crowding her, this chick is used to lots of attention. I get tired waiting for my bro to ditch this place, but what can you do, he just wanna say goodbye waits a good minute or two for her to be finished with her phone convo just to plant a goodbye that could’ve best been served with a casual wave. Conversation is very confident, got this I don’t give a shit thing going. And I smelled fucking awesome. That akuto isn’t bad. And thats about my report. Can’t wait for college to start up again for me, this shit’ll kill em..Get me some girls. Btw, I got straight A’s in my last classes. Not sure I deserved it. On tests and exams I got a fair about of B’s and B-'s..Pheros? Who knows man. All I know is I got a 4.0 average! ---
**Author:** ![TheBoogieMan](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theboogieman/32/1136_2.png) [@TheBoogieMan](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheBoogieMan)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/4 "2010-06-20T03:17:12Z")
As someone who is a complete noob to pheromones you’re journal serves as a good example of the wide variety of possibilities using them and you’re work with the mentally and physically handicapped. I’ve known others who did similar and it seems very difficult job. Props. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/5 "2010-06-20T03:48:15Z")
Yeah. Thanks man. sometimes its tough. Its not too bad though, work can be very fun, laid back..I’ve been lucky, I haven’t been injured in the line of duty or bitten or hit or pushed or nothing TOO bad.. Worked with this girl the other day. She freaks out attacks everyone sometimes, mostly people just leave her to her own devices. I’m pretty sure IO calmed her down alot. She’s all smiles and shit to me man. She flared up attacked everyone in the room BUT me during transitioning. Lucky me, huh? I told her to sit down and put her head down, she listened..lol IFM would probably work too hahaha, idk. lol if it keeps her from attacking her classmates and the teachers and staff, fuckin a, I’ll spray on some pheromones. Shit works man. She was autistic too, both times I worked with her they changed her schedule, and you know how them autistic kids can’t handle change..Yet both times with me she was a happy camper. She’s known to be a wild one..Yet, she’s all smiles and what have you to me. Never went after me once, I even threw myself between her and who she was lashing out at, she backed down. I believe this shit works man..Like, really. Thats why I usually put on stuff thats sposed to make people relaxed and calm and happy. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 11:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/6 "2010-06-23T11:24:54Z")
monday night. Alright. So I’m hanging with my friend A and because he lost his job recently, I decided to have a few beers with him. A few beers turned out to be 9 or 10 for me. Later in the night another friend comes over, we smoke some erb…Friend A leaves. Friend B and C are down to hang with these girls I don’t know and have never met before. They want me to be there for some reason. At this point I’m fairly whacked out and most of my experiences with friend C’s girls have been severely underwhelming. I refuse to go. I mean, certainly the fact my eyes are bloodshot and I reek of booze is by no means attractive to any woman, no? Second, I’m a fairly unpredictable drunk at best, and I know I get into capricious moods, I’m liable to curse everyone out and walk home from where we were sposed to meet these women. Girls have a habit of not being very nice to red eyed booze reeking drunk dudes that say whatever they want basically. And in general I have a hard enough time putting on that superego social mask as it is when I’m sober and I have very little patience for the niceties of social life and preppy close minded young girls that talk alot of shit even though their trash to begin with. Oh, and I can barely see straight, I’m whacked and I’ve had many bad experiences being drunk in public or around friend B AND C drunk AND ANY women before. Its always cockblock city with them on the best of occasions and there I was at my damned worst. I’ve already decided I’m not gonna go. Alright, so my friend B asks me to spray him down with the phero conncoction to increase his odds. I hit him up with a single spray of mx297. Friend C, intrigued by the lable on instant female magic, grabs the bottle and gets like 6 sprays of that, he ods on it thinking it’ll work better or something. He’s an ass for ODing on my cologne and I don’t care cause some chicks might even think he stinks cause of it, and also, it might make him less of an asshole, but I’m nice enough to hit him with the instant shine togo I got for free for some kind of counter balance effect maybe. Soon after, for some reason friend b rather intriguingly is able to convince me to go out and meet these girls. More than likely the mx297. Like, as soon as the spray got in the air I felt more like going out man. It was fairly bizarre. I instantly just felt _better_. So, for myself, I decided on simple yet elegant. Mx301. One spray. Good enough for the freak. And besides, I wasn’t gonna hit up everyone with mad different sprays and shit, I’m running out of half my stuff as it is and they’re heads will explode or something…I’m sure of it. Also, the sick phero cloud had me worried, everyone can’t get it like that, nothing good comes of that kinda shit. Alright, so we walk to the car. I sit shotgun. I consider this a hit. I didn’t even think about it. I’m walking in front of friend C…Usually there’s a kinda of fight for dominance between me and him going on been pissing me off lately. Maybe he’s giving me distance cause I’m such a violent and unpredictable drunk? One can only hope haha. Alright, we get to where we’re going. I reflect on getting there nobody knows where the girls are and nobodys in a rush to get out of the car. Leave it to me to make the first steps. I have to open the door to step out. Hit? Idk. Its hard to imagine which would win in a fight, mx301, mx297, or shine and a few sprays of ifm. Friend B is usually pretty outgoing and alpha, but honestly, I’m not surprised. My group usually relies on me for most of the balls and then jocks my thunder (with copious C-blocking). That tends to be how it is..I’m the big dumb muscle bound alpha dude that breaks stuff and talks to girls like an asshole. Its kinda my social role in a way, but its alright, I’m also versatile…Whew, that asshole shit I do..I’ve threatened to hit a girl (she was EXCEEDINGLY disrespectful, I told her if she was a guy I’d already have broken her jaw)…And then took her out on a date (lord she was lovey dovey afterwards) and got laid. It works out in the end cause, underneath all the asshole-ness is really a nice and sensitive guy ya know? haha Ok, so we beat our feet down the boardwalk, nobody knows where the girls are and there’s hesitation to approach any of the seemingly congruent groups of 3 girls we’re supposed to me. I eye any passing girl, cause, well, thats what I do. “Hey lady..”, “how are you?”..Eventually we get to the girls we’re supposed to meet. A very pretty asian girl, we’ll call her a stereotypic amy cause I really don’t remember, a fairly attractive big boobed brunette with long legs Gretta and a fairly average but skinny blond Isabel. I says hi. Give polite handshakes and introduce myself. There’s ALOT of standoffishness and awkwardness. One girl asks what I we were doing, I respond without any attempt to impress (mx301, seems to give me a strange vibe like this, I’m very honest and no nonsense on it), “Playing guitar, watching this michael jackson bio and downing a few beers, what about you?”. People seemed to find the way I said it awkward. I’m very unabashedly honest. I have absolutely nothing to prove to any of these people, and I make it known as soon as possible. There’s even some resistance towards me from the ladies. I can be a little…Forward. I got this “I really don’t give a shit” vibe that sometimes rubs people the wrong way. Target girl gretta, the voluptuous brunette I’ve never seen before in my life named immediate comes to the conclusion that I’m high. (She probably also mistakes my attitude for drug use when really even when I’m sober I’m like that). I make no attempt to disguise this, she’s unfortunately very correct in her assiduous judgement. I mention “Yeah, and a little drunk too. Eh, it is what it is”. I make formal small talk. “Do any of you have jobs?”, “what do you do?”, “Do any of you go to school?”, “where do you go? What are you trying to do with your life?”. You know, that kinda shit. Get the dynamic flowing, better then standing around awkwardly and NOT talking. Eventually its “How old are you” from the chicks. None of them believe I’m 23. They’re all 18. Gretta has an ID that says she’s 26 though. She also says she’s an alcoholic. I laugh to myself, tell her I’ve been in group before. For some reason the association actually instantly made me more comfortable. I mention, “we’re standing around in a circle talking shit, getting to know each other, its not really that different…And besides, everythings better when you sit in a circle and talk” None of them work. Only one goes to school. One just graduated highschool. Really classy dates, ya know?? But if you averaged them on a scale of one to ten look wise, you’d get a 7. And thats not really saying much. But, for the most part, no shit talking took place. And for THAT matter…No cock blocking either. I was very surprised. Friend C was very open. Girls responsed to him pretty nicely. He got defensive about the fact the conversation was steered towards jobs and education of which he’s not pursuing either (he’s only 19 though, so I don’t see why he gives a shit, the only person he’d be ‘competing with’ is ME having a job and going to school, or friend B who goes to school), and the girl he went to see kept questioning him about his weed smoking. I didn’t sense any disrespect or malice in it, in fact, the chick seemed genuinely interested in him. Flirting even. She was toying with him like a cat with a mouse. She was an 8 maybe even 8.5 😛, the prettiest in the group, and the ochestrator of this whole affair too from her side. The alpha. I’d chalk it up to a hit for him though, with what he was wearing, the shine and ifm. He seemed to not be so much in his element and seemed to be blind to the fact that this chick was flirting with him albiet in a teasing way. Friend B, he did his chat. Gretta the girl I picked out for myself talked to him alot. The 8 was taken though…Had a boyfriend so, fuck it, I didn’t even bother talking to her. And the blond, isabel wasn’t very good looking and fairly shy. I didn’t talk to her too much either. I probably should have. All around there was hair playing and even LEG spreading going on. Very unlady like behaviors. I sensed this awkwardness was unusual considering the situation. These girls invited us out to see them. They were the aggressors..You’d think they’d be more open. I suspect there was a group OD going on with the mones. Alot of reservations. Too much on everyone maybe??? I don’t normally go out with all my boys wearing shit like this..But I have been messing with it like that lately. I don’t normally do good with the ladies till round 3 or so, I’m slow to start, but after a few meetings most chicks start to like me alot, I have a certain undeniable charm, so I’m not really very surprised they give me shit here and there. As stated before, I come off as the completely unrestrained unapologetic asshole. And true to form, thats exactly what I was. Albiet socially steering and confident. Necessity is the mother of invention, and experience has taught me to use my assets effectively. Gretta lied and said some strange things. Said she was six foot tall and 26 and a lesbian (and alcoholic). Her friend the alpha female of the group later confided that gretta was uncharacteristically shy. The blond isabel was very silent. The asian talked to friend C almost exclusively. Maybe there’s something to mones and asians not being a good mix?? Idk. She knew him previously from somewhere though. (nevermind the fact she was ‘taken’) Alright. Finally Gretta says “We should go somewhere”. Somewhere turns out to be home. So, 3 chicks, 3 guys and a small car. I considered bogarting the fems in the backseat…But I’m a pretty big guy, wide in the shoulders and the chicks don’t seem to be feeling me to great. If I had reacted sooner, I could probably have divided the girls, put out assigned seats or something lol, but the logistics of it, too much to handle. So, I let friend C get the backseat, since after all, he was in the back to begin with as well, right?? Hah. He is a twig…I let him get the honors. B drives. On the drive to bring these ladies home (very early, the whole thing was very underwhelming, less than an hour) friend C was very reserved. I think its somewhat characteristic of him though, but I think to myself spitefully “If I were in the back, I’d be copping feels or doing something outrageous and unexpected if just for shock value, he’s doing nothing! What a waste! At least make yourself comfortable man, rest your leg up on her knee or something who gives a shit its a packed car, if she says anything say your balls were being squashed”. Gretta licks the back of Isabels neck. Isabels upset about the drool in her hair. The phero cloud has stuck. There’s some serious oozing going on in the back seat there and friend C is just letting it play quiet!? Wtf! For girls crowded in the back seat I notice yet again there’s some leg spreading going on here. We drop the girls home..Nothing really of note..Except asian girl commenting on how horny they said they were and gretta was ‘shy’. I mention “If that was shy, I wonder what outgoing is on her. I have got to find out.” I mention I like the song deliah by plain white tees, I’m kinda edging her on towards something. I tend to test women alot. She took the bait. So Asian chicks says something about me being gay (about the song). I say to her with a slightly unusual amount of quickness “Why the hell would you even say something like that? Cause I like a song I’m gay? How ignorant is that. Either way, I get pussy.” She didn’t say a damn word in response. I wasn’t upset either. time goes by unawkwardly, mx301 I’m sure, its unusual for me. She says something about dumping her boyfriend in the water. She’s flirting with everyone basically too (except maybe me, but I don’t care cause she’s got a man and its just fooling around to her anyway, I can just tell. Besides, I didn’t say a word to her all night except to fuck with her head). I says “Can I hit up the rebound? (she gives me an odd look) You don’t seem to have stringent tastes in men anyway”. idk. Thats that asshole side coming out on me..I really gotta watch that sometimes. mx301 makes me even MORE of an asshole. A cocky asshole too. (who at that point probably still reeked of beer…I had forgetten about that. Girls don’t generally like that.) Friend B and shoot the shit before I go home. He says something about not noticing if the pheros worked. I point out some of the unusual behaviors I noticed. “That girl was licking the back of that other girls neck bro, fuckin they were all playing with their hair and sitting with their legs spread and shit..They wanted to fuck thats why they went home so fast, they were HOOORNY and maybe a lil intimidated.” More than likely I’ll never see these chicks again. If I do, I’ll be surprised. But ready. Gretta’s lying nature…I’ll make sure to make up stories with her next time, and maybe hit up the skinny blond. And in the future, MAYBE I shouldn’t challenge the female that got me invited out quite as much, idk..That probably won’t be getting me into the first list for call backs. But then again, she mentioned to everyone already that we were the last on a long list of guys to call. So, whatever. I just have no patience for flakey bullshit. We’ll see..I doubt there’s any future in these chicks, but if there is, I’ll be sure to post. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/7 "2010-07-07T17:10:26Z")
Independence day. What a crappy day. Plans really did not go through as hoped. I spent the day with anxiety and shit, and one seriously overbearing friend. He wanted to shroom out or something, didn’t take his meds in advance for what was a planned night of debauchery..All of which didn’t go through. So he spent the night harassing me and trying to get me to go to the city or a bar or some stupid shit. I’m like his crutch or enabler or something. He’s not a very charming person at all. He’s overbearing and irritating too. And a space invader…Gah. He spent the whole night hounding on me and hovering about getting on my nerves. I digress. So we, being myself, the space invader and another friend go out to this beach to chill with some friends. I hit up what I hope would be a fairly serious combo. No rhyme or reason to it really…I had no idea what to expect from the night or where we were going or any damn thing. I spray space invader with IO just to mellow him the fuck out, he’s getting on my nerves real bad. It works for a little while, and he stops whining at me about everything, but not for very long. He didn’t take his meds, but thats no excuse for being an asshole. As I said, I was having an anxiety attack, him hounding on me the whole night to go out really wasn’t helping me much with that. As for me, I hit up mx297 (usually puts me into the mood to go out), half spray 4x tuth, a spray of 2x IS. Not sure what exactly the effects I was really looking for. I just did it on a whim, figured it’d be a decent all purpose thing. I had had on some residual IO from trying to deal with that kid though…I figured maybe it’d make me more willing to go out earlier in the night. Alright, so we hit up this beach, hang with friends. Space invaders up my ass. He’s hovering around me. He’s buzzing like a fly. I sit with some boys of mine and some girls I don’t know at all. (I made a bad impression, fairly inept socially, didn’t greet the girls with my game face, barely said hi to my friends…was feeling shy and awkward that night for some reason. DEFINTELY not myself, the pot smoking probably had something to do with that, introverts me). I’m having a pretty quiet night myself, not nervous, I’m just not in a talking mood. Thinking. Listening. Observing…But really unsocial. Space invader is driving me nuts. The girls and some guy friends are rambling whatever shit, there’s nothing really to follow, one friends just cracking jokes on whomever and whatever including the chicks and space invader. Joking friend neglects to joke on me. Part surprising, part not. I get a certain amount of deference for some reason, probably cause I’m sooo sensitive 😛 Space invaders uncomfortable, clearly. He’s got that social anxiety and socially inept awkwardness to contend with, but what can I do, hold his hand?? He’s trying to chime in rather desperately and is using me to open the crowd for him. I’m definitely not in a crowd opening mood, much less interested in following through with his obviously desperate and nonsequitor attempts to make or join in with the conversation with the unwitty and uninteresting things he came up with. He gets pissed at me for not talking to the chicks cause thats who he’s interested in. Basically. Rambles, trys to use me to open. Its not working at all, you can’t force these things and I’m not in the mood to help him out, and if anything, he actually made me look worse. The chicks didn’t talk to me at all. This is fairly rare for me. Space invader asks who’s single out of the girls says cause “thats all I’m interested in”. My friend the jock teases him about being desperate or something. I say “Hey, its nice to know, not that bad a question. How do you know I’m not desperate too?”, make eye contact with one of the girls. They’d tease him about being desperate, but I’d ACT desperate and nobody would say shit to me about it. Cause, hey..I’m Alec. I can do that. This is probably the most interesting and charming thing I said the whole night, made the girl giggle. I did not repeat that feat with this group the rest of the night. Alright. He keeps mentioning beer. I yell at him a little, “Why do you need to get drunk and do drugs to have a good time, just fuckin relax bro.” Says he wants to go to a bar and this and that. Soon enough he wants to smoke a clip which wasn’t even his, he got it from a friend of mine who lit him up, he stole it. I tell him I don’t wanna smoke, he gets pissed, walks off into the distance gets lost or something. I don’t see him for the rest of the night. He calls later on to bitch at me for not ‘thinking’, and he wouldn’t have gotten lost if I went with him. As I said, I really really was not in the mood to baby sit or hold his hand..He’s a old friend of mine, but this night was way to fucking much. Like the world revolves around him…I have to stop what I’m doing or put on the game and shit to enable him to have a good time. Gah. I totally did not get any hits here. So we got back to my place to pick up some bud my friend left with me. I take the opportunity to change my signature. I’m thinking some jerk is in order. Half spray IJ. Fuck it. I also spray p79, p83, 2x p86. All 20mcg. And some IH. I figure where I’m going next, I want people to notice. Alot. And I’m gonna see a girl I used to date, wanna be prepared to make an impression. We hit up yet another beach, walk through some wilderness to get there too. They got a bon fire going. I run into my old flame. She’s remarkably…_Nice_ to me. All my old gfs address me in the same manner. A very distinctive and deferential Hi, the way they say my name…Speaks something, some kind of vibe to it. Testing the waters. Unmentionable things. Unspoken words. Memories. There’s some apprehension, shyness and maybe (probably) even butterflies. She asks me hows life. I tell her it sucks. She agrees with me…Not sure what thats about but I disagree with her agreeing with me, cause I’m a jerk. “Hey, its not THAT bad..” There’s a guy there, brian. I think he digs her, not sure. Her sister always treats me pretty nice. I’m pretty sure she likes androstenone, which I was wearing. Probably likes the beta-nol too. I think they both do. Sisters taken though. We shoot the shit for a while. Someone’s playing guitar. I consider asking for a turn, but they’re playing and singing songs and I only ever freestyle. Also, its probably a crutch in a way. I need to find other ways to socialize. But once again, I’m really not in the social mood. I even mention it. Definitely not a good night for me. Jerks not helping. p79 probably didn’t help either. I’m rubbing it in peoples faces I don’t give a fuck. Guy on the guitar plays creep by radio head. The other beach goers sing it. I feel like crying. I idly wonder to myself what in the FUCK is wrong with me. I stare at the fire, ignore everyone except when the conversation actually catches my interest. When I have something to add. Talk to the old flame a little. Very little. Catch up. Poorly. I’m intensely nervous. [P83](https://a314.com/product/p83/)? P79? Dude, idk..Maybe there’s something to all that. Or maybe I just get paranoid from smoking. Time to go. I keep pairing up with the old flame while we’re leaving. I keep trying to NOT pair up with her. Its getting on my nerves. I’m not sure if its on my side or hers or maybe a mixture of both. She’s walking slow through the sand, I think she’s had a few drinks, not very well balanced I guess, she’s walking like a grandma 😛 Being the gentlemen jerk that I am, I can’t leave her to straggle all the way in the back of our group I guess? So yeah. Pairing up. I give up trying to resist. I found pretty quickly that I couldn’t. We walk through some thick trees, there’s a path off the beach through bushes and trees, its a pretty rough trail and dark as shit. Girl can’t see at night at ALL. She’s nightblind or something. I have to hold her hand while we leave. I guess its cute, kino I spose, its unlike her really. I’d have to call this a hit. She was acting like we never stopped talking. Catching up. I suppose thats why I liked her, she’s sorta cute in this protect and care for me way that just resonates in me somehow. I lead her through the darkness and trees, she responds amiably to my touch, reaching out for me in the darkness, I tell her to watch her step. I’d give her a piggy back ride but I can’t exactly bring myself to be the tender type with her just yet. This is the first time I’ve seen her in months. If I had spent more time with her, I’d probably have grabbed her ass in the dark “Oh, that was just a branch, I swear!” but I couldn’t do it just yet. We get out, meet up with the rest of our group, we were WAY behind.. She mentions that I’m a really nice guy. (no shit?) I disagree…I’ve been teasing her condescending the whole night, if a guy could put up the bitch shield, this was it. I disagreed also cause I even threatened to punch her in the face once in the past. I’ve cursed her out several times in the past too. There’s a little bad blood in our history. I suppose I’m pretty nice to her usually…But I can’t honestly agree with her when she said I’m always nice to her. I’m not trying to pretend to be anything but what I wanna be…And I don’t need her kissing my ass. Her sister chimes in, I’m pretty sure she was just looking for excuses to talk to me, says I’m an asshole and a major jerk and blah blah blah, she’s joking though, I say to her playfully “Who have you been talking to?” She tells me she’s joking..Says I’ve always seemed very nice to her “at least to my face, behind my backs another story.”, peculiar that I am, I says “I don’t spend enough time following you to be behind your back” She says I’m a good guy. I says “Thats me. Always the gentlemen.” reluctant tone. We walk back to the car. I step forward from their group, they’re not really keeping up, probably with good reason. I hear from afar some mentionings of my name by her sister, and things that have happened in the past from her. Disbelief from the bf and perhaps hostility I hear. I’m not particularly intimidated though. Curious. P79 is supposed to do that I think. People talk about you, things you say..Not sure if this is a hit or not. I hear something “something something Thats cause he’s fuckin Alec”. Not sure if its good talk or bad talk. (my name..And my catch phrase. “I can do that. Cause I’m alec.”) I stop on the path. They catch up behind me. I stall the group a little, turn around, look at her sister. Make eye contact. I smile. I even wink. Turn around and keep walking, she gives me a funny look. I says a cocky “what?”. Says to her boyfriend I scared her. I can do that sometimes..She was talking about me behind my back, literally. Guilty conscience I think, but I laugh..I hit her with the mysterious intimidating gazing into your eyes soul stare. Most girls get intimidated when I do that. Either that or turned on. Or both. Old flame is quiet and weird, we take everyone home. The cars packed. She sits on this guys lap. My fault. I should’ve jumped on the opportunity. A very un-alec-like thing to do, but what do I care? I’ve seen her va-jay-jay, I’m pretty sure dude mentioned hasn’t. End of night I tell her goodnight. She gives me a funny look. Not quite sure what to make of it. It looked upset, maybe disappointed. Like she wanted to say something to me. Between you and me, I’m pretty sure its cause I don’t give a shit about her anymore and I made it a point to show that. (I used to write her poetry, bought her flowers a few times) Not sure what to do about this chick. I suppose I could be friends with her. I’m not really trying to tap that, I’ve tried that already, she was too disrespectful for my tastes, and it didn’t work. So notes. Betanol. Androstenone. Good for the sisters. P79, some bad vibes. Good talk and bad talk. IJ made me a bad man. P86=complements from far away. p83. Not sure its place here. Maybe some disinhibiting. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfishgrin](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfishgrin/32/1082_2.png) [@Wolfishgrin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfishgrin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/8 "2010-07-08T20:22:54Z")
Wow. Just wow. > [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](#): > > Independence day. > > What a crappy day. Plans really did not go through as hoped. I spent the day with anxiety and shit, and one seriously overbearing friend. He wanted to shroom out or something, didn’t take his meds in advance for what was a planned night of debauchery..All of which didn’t go through. So he spent the night harassing me and trying to get me to go to the city or a bar or some stupid shit. I’m like his crutch or enabler or something. He’s not a very charming person at all. He’s overbearing and irritating too. And a space invader…Gah. He spent the whole night hounding on me and hovering about getting on my nerves. I digress. > > So we, being myself, the space invader and another friend go out to this beach to chill with some friends. I hit up what I hope would be a fairly serious combo. No rhyme or reason to it really…I had no idea what to expect from the night or where we were going or any damn thing. I spray space invader with IO just to mellow him the fuck out, he’s getting on my nerves real bad. It works for a little while, and he stops whining at me about everything, but not for very long. He didn’t take his meds, but thats no excuse for being an asshole. As I said, I was having an anxiety attack, him hounding on me the whole night to go out really wasn’t helping me much with that. As for me, I hit up mx297 (usually puts me into the mood to go out), half spray 4x tuth, a spray of 2x IS. Not sure what exactly the effects I was really looking for. I just did it on a whim, figured it’d be a decent all purpose thing. I had had on some residual IO from trying to deal with that kid though…I figured maybe it’d make me more willing to go out earlier in the night. > > Alright, so we hit up this beach, hang with friends. Space invaders up my ass. He’s hovering around me. He’s buzzing like a fly. I sit with some boys of mine and some girls I don’t know at all. (I made a bad impression, fairly inept socially, didn’t greet the girls with my game face, barely said hi to my friends…was feeling shy and awkward that night for some reason. DEFINTELY not myself, the pot smoking probably had something to do with that, introverts me). I’m having a pretty quiet night myself, not nervous, I’m just not in a talking mood. Thinking. Listening. Observing…But really unsocial. Space invader is driving me nuts. The girls and some guy friends are rambling whatever shit, there’s nothing really to follow, one friends just cracking jokes on whomever and whatever including the chicks and space invader. Joking friend neglects to joke on me. Part surprising, part not. I get a certain amount of deference for some reason, probably cause I’m sooo sensitive 😛 > > Space invaders uncomfortable, clearly. He’s got that social anxiety and socially inept awkwardness to contend with, but what can I do, hold his hand?? He’s trying to chime in rather desperately and is using me to open the crowd for him. I’m definitely not in a crowd opening mood, much less interested in following through with his obviously desperate and nonsequitor attempts to make or join in with the conversation with the unwitty and uninteresting things he came up with. He gets pissed at me for not talking to the chicks cause thats who he’s interested in. Basically. Rambles, trys to use me to open. Its not working at all, you can’t force these things and I’m not in the mood to help him out, and if anything, he actually made me look worse. The chicks didn’t talk to me at all. This is fairly rare for me. Space invader asks who’s single out of the girls says cause “thats all I’m interested in”. My friend the jock teases him about being desperate or something. I say “Hey, its nice to know, not that bad a question. How do you know I’m not desperate too?”, make eye contact with one of the girls. They’d tease him about being desperate, but I’d ACT desperate and nobody would say shit to me about it. Cause, hey..I’m Alec. I can do that. This is probably the most interesting and charming thing I said the whole night, made the girl giggle. I did not repeat that feat with this group the rest of the night. > > Alright. He keeps mentioning beer. I yell at him a little, “Why do you need to get drunk and do drugs to have a good time, just fuckin relax bro.” Says he wants to go to a bar and this and that. Soon enough he wants to smoke a clip which wasn’t even his, he got it from a friend of mine who lit him up, he stole it. I tell him I don’t wanna smoke, he gets pissed, walks off into the distance gets lost or something. I don’t see him for the rest of the night. He calls later on to bitch at me for not ‘thinking’, and he wouldn’t have gotten lost if I went with him. As I said, I really really was not in the mood to baby sit or hold his hand..He’s a old friend of mine, but this night was way to fucking much. Like the world revolves around him…I have to stop what I’m doing or put on the game and shit to enable him to have a good time. Gah. I totally did not get any hits here. > > So we got back to my place to pick up some bud my friend left with me. I take the opportunity to change my signature. I’m thinking some jerk is in order. Half spray IJ. Fuck it. I also spray p79, p83, 2x p86. All 20mcg. And some IH. I figure where I’m going next, I want people to notice. Alot. And I’m gonna see a girl I used to date, wanna be prepared to make an impression. We hit up yet another beach, walk through some wilderness to get there too. They got a bon fire going. I run into my old flame. She’s remarkably…_Nice_ to me. All my old gfs address me in the same manner. A very distinctive and deferential Hi, the way they say my name…Speaks something, some kind of vibe to it. Testing the waters. Unmentionable things. Unspoken words. Memories. There’s some apprehension, shyness and maybe (probably) even butterflies. She asks me hows life. I tell her it sucks. She agrees with me…Not sure what thats about but I disagree with her agreeing with me, cause I’m a jerk. “Hey, its not THAT bad..” There’s a guy there, brian. I think he digs her, not sure. > > Her sister always treats me pretty nice. I’m pretty sure she likes androstenone, which I was wearing. Probably likes the beta-nol too. I think they both do. Sisters taken though. We shoot the shit for a while. Someone’s playing guitar. I consider asking for a turn, but they’re playing and singing songs and I only ever freestyle. Also, its probably a crutch in a way. I need to find other ways to socialize. But once again, I’m really not in the social mood. I even mention it. Definitely not a good night for me. Jerks not helping. p79 probably didn’t help either. I’m rubbing it in peoples faces I don’t give a fuck. Guy on the guitar plays creep by radio head. The other beach goers sing it. I feel like crying. I idly wonder to myself what in the FUCK is wrong with me. I stare at the fire, ignore everyone except when the conversation actually catches my interest. When I have something to add. Talk to the old flame a little. Very little. Catch up. Poorly. I’m intensely nervous. P83? P79? Dude, idk..Maybe there’s something to all that. Or maybe I just get paranoid from smoking. > > Time to go. I keep pairing up with the old flame while we’re leaving. I keep trying to NOT pair up with her. Its getting on my nerves. I’m not sure if its on my side or hers or maybe a mixture of both. She’s walking slow through the sand, I think she’s had a few drinks, not very well balanced I guess, she’s walking like a grandma 😛 Being the gentlemen jerk that I am, I can’t leave her to straggle all the way in the back of our group I guess? So yeah. Pairing up. I give up trying to resist. I found pretty quickly that I couldn’t. We walk through some thick trees, there’s a path off the beach through bushes and trees, its a pretty rough trail and dark as shit. Girl can’t see at night at ALL. She’s nightblind or something. I have to hold her hand while we leave. I guess its cute, kino I spose, its unlike her really. I’d have to call this a hit. She was acting like we never stopped talking. Catching up. I suppose thats why I liked her, she’s sorta cute in this protect and care for me way that just resonates in me somehow. I lead her through the darkness and trees, she responds amiably to my touch, reaching out for me in the darkness, I tell her to watch her step. I’d give her a piggy back ride but I can’t exactly bring myself to be the tender type with her just yet. This is the first time I’ve seen her in months. If I had spent more time with her, I’d probably have grabbed her ass in the dark “Oh, that was just a branch, I swear!” but I couldn’t do it just yet. We get out, meet up with the rest of our group, we were WAY behind.. > > She mentions that I’m a really nice guy. (no shit?) I disagree…I’ve been teasing her condescending the whole night, if a guy could put up the bitch shield, this was it. I disagreed also cause I even threatened to punch her in the face once in the past. I’ve cursed her out several times in the past too. There’s a little bad blood in our history. I suppose I’m pretty nice to her usually…But I can’t honestly agree with her when she said I’m always nice to her. I’m not trying to pretend to be anything but what I wanna be…And I don’t need her kissing my ass. Her sister chimes in, I’m pretty sure she was just looking for excuses to talk to me, says I’m an asshole and a major jerk and blah blah blah, she’s joking though, I say to her playfully “Who have you been talking to?” She tells me she’s joking..Says I’ve always seemed very nice to her “at least to my face, behind my backs another story.”, peculiar that I am, I says “I don’t spend enough time following you to be behind your back” She says I’m a good guy. I says “Thats me. Always the gentlemen.” reluctant tone. We walk back to the car. I step forward from their group, they’re not really keeping up, probably with good reason. I hear from afar some mentionings of my name by her sister, and things that have happened in the past from her. Disbelief from the bf and perhaps hostility I hear. I’m not particularly intimidated though. Curious. P79 is supposed to do that I think. People talk about you, things you say..Not sure if this is a hit or not. I hear something “something something Thats cause he’s fuckin Alec”. Not sure if its good talk or bad talk. (my name..And my catch phrase. “I can do that. Cause I’m alec.”) I stop on the path. They catch up behind me. I stall the group a little, turn around, look at her sister. Make eye contact. I smile. I even wink. Turn around and keep walking, she gives me a funny look. I says a cocky “what?”. Says to her boyfriend I scared her. I can do that sometimes..She was talking about me behind my back, literally. Guilty conscience I think, but I laugh..I hit her with the mysterious intimidating gazing into your eyes soul stare. Most girls get intimidated when I do that. Either that or turned on. Or both. > > Old flame is quiet and weird, we take everyone home. The cars packed. She sits on this guys lap. My fault. I should’ve jumped on the opportunity. A very un-alec-like thing to do, but what do I care? I’ve seen her va-jay-jay, I’m pretty sure dude mentioned hasn’t. End of night I tell her goodnight. She gives me a funny look. Not quite sure what to make of it. It looked upset, maybe disappointed. Like she wanted to say something to me. Between you and me, I’m pretty sure its cause I don’t give a shit about her anymore and I made it a point to show that. (I used to write her poetry, bought her flowers a few times) Not sure what to do about this chick. I suppose I could be friends with her. I’m not really trying to tap that, I’ve tried that already, she was too disrespectful for my tastes, and it didn’t work. > > So notes. Betanol. Androstenone. Good for the sisters. P79, some bad vibes. Good talk and bad talk. IJ made me a bad man. P86=complements from far away. p83. Not sure its place here. Maybe some disinhibiting. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 9:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/9 "2010-08-10T09:16:03Z")
Another long winded post. Alright. Pheromone bomb, lots of captain morgans and wax fruit = friends that don’t like you anymore. So I go to hang out with some dudes I know. Sposedly there might have been girls. At least one of my boys there reacts negatively/argumentatively to most everything I wear without exception. I consider not wearing any pheros, but then I say fuck it and put on a fuckin bomb of pheros. Cause, why not? What was in it you ask? p83, p86, p79, IH, IS, A314, mx301 and a little tuth. I was in a rush so no complicated ratios just a spray each basically except for the 301, that got its own luxury box on my forearms at about 3 sprays. 86, 79, IH, 83 got wrist position. IS, A314 and TUTH got the neck and wrists. All my putatives are at 20mcg. I think my IH and IS are at 2x, and I think the tuth is 3x. 301 is a weird one for me. Definitely the odd man out. Honestly, I’m scarcely aware of the self effects from all my putatives. p86 does have that airbrush thing, certain girls I’d not normally be attracted to become attractive. Its obvious. The 79, not so obvious, 83 also. I’m totally familiar with the effects of all of these. I’ve worn combos similar or identical to this before with no negative effects, self or otherwise. 301 seems to make me show off my more socially objectionable sides without fear of consequences. It seems to turn off a certain filter in my head. If anything, sometimes like flipping a switch and filtering in the other direction. I feel less inclined to show off my brighter sides. Its unrepentant. Its in your face. Its sometimes fairly socially inept, even giving girls ammo to use against me. Like “I dare you to give me shit. I’ll make you regret it. keep your criticism to yourself.” It demands respect. And it accomplishes that fairly well. So this particular night went very smoothly. Until I got fairly whacked and my pherocloud blossomed dark flowers. I say to a friend of mine, “dude, can I have that apple, I’m hungry.”, so he’s like “This apple, you want THIS apple?”, he hands it to me. Naturally enough, I take a fuckng bite. Its wax fruit. How embarrassing for me, huh? What did I know? How could I have known. I feel embarrassed. I try to play it off. It doesn’t stop there though. The friend of mine who reacts negatively to pheros starts bitching at me. Pretty soon I’m surrounded by ten people, four of whom I don’t know at all and most of them pretty fuckin pissed for some reason that I have a taste for wax fruit. What the fuck?! My one friend is bitching at me about being disrespectful, saying crazy shit about me getting the owner of the house kicked out cause “His parents are really strict”. He’s best friends with the guy that lived there. I’m friends with both of them, this was weird. He’s acting like I did all this on purpose just to fuck with people or be a dick or something, it was pretty intense. What the hell happened here? It was bizarre. A good friend of mine joins in, starts yelling at me too. I have girls I don’t know staring at me like I’m a pariah, including the one I’ve been talking to the whole night, like a switch had been pressed, I have guys giving me combative body language, and all the dudes there are bitching at me except for two. I did what any self respecting freak wearing a ton of pheromones would do. I face my antagonists, all of them the best I can and snap “Shut up, what the fuck are you talking about, he’s not going to get kicked out cause of wax fruit don’t be an asshole.”, “your over reacting”, and so on, trying to diffuse the situation and change the topic, this is not the time to be the center of attention! my best friend joined in (he’s known these guys since junior high, they’re close) “you dont know his parents, I can see why he’s mad blah blah”, I say to him “Dude, shut up about it, I don’t wanna hear it, I really don’t. This is not a big deal at all, its not worthy of my attention.”, he starts bitching at me about being drunk, I comment “get the fuck out of here, mean while everyones playing beer pong, thats bullshit, don’t even pretend to condescend to me about that, everyone was drinking”, then there was the fact that someone else broke a fuckin lamp and I get shit about wax fruit. Owner of the house who’s another less close friend of mine gives me shit, got this angry gonna fight you thing going, gets in my face or something. I say to him “What, your gonna fight me about this? Maybe its disrespectful, but I’m not above fighting a man in his own house and if you worrying about wax fruit that’ll be the least of your problems.”, two guys who I don’t actually know get behind him, I think they’re practically or actually family or something, I’m not above threatening them too, but I’m cautious cause its a long way from home and even though the kid that lived there was my friend I know they’re not above fighting dirty so I’m careful, so I says to everyone basically, very macho, “Drop it before things come to blows about this, this is completely retarded”. Interestingly, I don’t remember him actually saying much about this whole situation at all. I said something like “Dude, don’t even start, you handed me that fuckin apple and I bit it, its your fuckin fault, deal with it.” I’m pretty sure he said no..so I turned my attention elsewhere So I turn to the instigator of my sudden onslaught of problems, who seems to hate pheros, I says to him “What about you, you wanna fight me? Is that what this is?”. Calculating. I watch body language. I have a big, probably psychotic looking grin. I look right in his eyes, invade his personal space, I put my hand on his chest and nudging him as inoffensively as can be, I push him up against the wall. I’ve already done this to the owner. I figure thats scary, not a shove by no means, but he’s a friend, I wasn’t really trying to fight no one. I guess just reestablish dominance or something, it was crazy. He walks away reminding me he was a competitive wrestler, and I wasn’t really trying to reenact the scene from breakfast club, boomer vs the jock..Boomer goes right to the floor subjected to crazy wrestling moves, I see in my head the likely outcome and possible ways to deal with getting embarrassed by being put in a full nelson or something (I figured laughing and playing it off like I was fucking with him would work). But I put the dick out, metaphorically anyway. I give him shit, say “Just cause I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t remember that just fine”. Nothing really came of it. Boomer would have pulled out a switchblade and said “I don’t wanna fight you cause I’ll fuckin kill you” After that, everyone dropped it. Nobody wants to fight, right??? We’re all friends…Sorta. So, still being mildly pissed about all this, I steal their beer and drink it, as if to say “Get on my case about wax fruit huh, fuck you, I’m gonna drink all your beer now and you won’t do shit about it.” (and they didn’t) Fucked up and mildly grimey behavior on my part, but the situation was so totally retarded and abnormal. It was insane. However..Instead of screaming and being a crazy drunken combative asshole, dude, I was nearly blackout drunk, while I don’t remember the later part of that night, it certainly appears I was able to just intimidate and scare my way out of an intractable argument and terrorize everyone into leaving me alone. I’m not sure how the girls reacted. Probably poorly. But thems are the runs..Unless 301 is boomer in a spray. He gets the molly ringwalds.. I can’t necessarily blame this on the pheros, but, when confronted about this the following morning, with a major hangover, I reaffirmed that i thought this was a mild alcoholic flare up in comparison to the times I’ve actually gotten drunk and had fist fights with friends, pissed on police cars, resisted arrest, fought the law and shit..This was a good night, maaan. These people have nothing to complain to me about. It was just total nonsense. Really unbelievable. But it strikes me of 301. At least my behavior during this. This was a little tiny bit unlike me. 301 is socially objectionable for me. But its very socially conscious even though its indifferent. Its calculating. It was a very weird night. I didn’t actually fight anyone..This was more of a very well constructed bluff. Dominant..But just enough give to be alright. Maybe it was the p79 got this situation to the worst point? I’m not sure what happened. It was nuts. Like, I may have been drunk, but this was seriously abnormal, I wasn’t stumbling around or nothing. I blacked out later in the night, but, I think thats cause I continued drinking alot afterwards. And stole their beer. They’re beer snobs, I did it just cause I knew it would piss them off, but that is by no means abnormal for me, accuse me of being a drunk, disrespectful and messing your house up and I’ll deliver in kind, that kind of thing. I wonder what happened here…I think it was that p79. I hear about that being an intensifier..Dude, this was an intense situation. The one kid occasionally argues with me, but he never at all puts me down like that or criticizes me so…vehemently, usually its just play, maybe its cause girls were there? I’ve never seen him around chicks, honestly. This was a dynamic and literal fight for power. It was pretty sick. Like, I don’t normally consider myself to be this alpha guy fighting for dominance..But this was exactly what happened. ---
**Author:** ![Scipio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Scipio](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Scipio)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 10:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/10 "2010-08-10T10:42:24Z")
Your posts rock. ---
**Author:** ![Scipio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Scipio](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Scipio)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/12 "2010-08-11T21:28:24Z")
I enjoy reading your posts mainly because you are an excellent writer. You’re a teacher (what I want to do). And cause you dont give a fuck about alot of stuff. Like I do. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/13 "2010-08-12T06:11:32Z")
> [@Scipio](#): > > I enjoy reading your posts mainly because you are an excellent writer. You’re a teacher (what I want to do). And cause you dont give a fuck about alot of stuff. Like I do. lol thanks man..I’m trying to be a teacher, actually as of right now I’m just a para, more like a teachers assistant, I’m going to school though. Soon enough.. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfishgrin](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfishgrin/32/1082_2.png) [@Wolfishgrin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfishgrin)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 8:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/14 "2010-08-13T08:05:50Z")
I feel sorry you had to experience that, but in a way it has helped you learn so it’s not all bad in your situation. Look for the good in everything. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/15 "2010-09-09T12:09:07Z")
I got a whole shitload of pheros. I’ve been testing them out in various combinations and situations, mostly around friends. My latest and greatest mix is a combination of like, nearly everything. I was chilling with my friend, fixed his computer..While there, his girlfriend comes home with an aquaintance of mine, a very attractive female who at the moment barely gives me the time of day. At this point I’m pheroless. It turns out its her birthday, and she wants to go out. She offers everyone to take shots but is oddly standoffish and doesn’t pour them. I tease her, perhaps in poor or obnoxious tone “Well, you gonna pour em or what? Where are these shots girly its your birthday, you want me to do it?” She wants to go out she says. My friend asks me to go out with them. Neither his girlfriend nor the other girl are particularly concerned with convincing me to go out, I don’t recall actually being invited by the birthday girl, but she certainly didn’t say anything about me NOT going. Honestly, at this point I don’t feel like going out. I’ve had several drinks, and I had been drinking a few days in a row. Being around so much alcohol was turning my stomach, a man can only drink so much. But, eventually with my friends convincing, and some thought on my part, I convince myself to go. I tell them I got to go home and change..My shirt is covered with dog hair, they tell me I look fine but, fuck that, I’m not going nowhere unless I know I’m looking good. Also, I figure to myself that this gives me the opportunity to get a before and after effect on my pheros..At this point I barely get eye contact from my target female. She’s not really talking to me either, if anything, she talks at me or around me, its very unintimate, not very friendly, as if she doesn’t know exactly what to make of me…She’s fairly standoffish. Normally she’s very nice to me, I can’t complain at all on that regard, but its always small talk and no substance and that she’s reserved towards me is not particularly surprising. I hardly ever talk to her after all. Normally when I go out with these friends we hit up hood dive bars and I don’t have a good time. This influenced my decision to just spray on a whole phero bomb of nearly everything I have in my possession. I change my shirt, spray down some deoderant and hit up my stash..I’m going to have a good time no matter what, and try out my new products I haven’t mixed before with my standard “club mix”. Its a big experiment. The mix includes a multitude of pheros. In no particular order it included a spray each of p74, p83, p86, instant gentleman, tal, taa, instant sunshine, and a very light spritz (think half a spray, or even a third or less) of instant jerk and instant shine. The TAL got loaded on at 2 sprays..Its a togo at around 20mcg. All my putatives are basically at 20mcg but for p74 which is at 30mcg. As I understand, this is a hell of a lot of TAL and not _very_ much ‘macho’ mones as your supposed to buffer it, but I didn’t really give a shit..I don’t usually have to worry about NOT coming off macho or as girly or gay or whatever. Anyway…I cover it up with some curve..The neroli scent mixes very synergistically with my curve. I head out the door, I forget to brush my hair, so its a shaggy mess, but apparently this isn’t a bad thing at all. I meet up with the two girls and my friend and off we go to the bar. My friend comments that my deoderant (old spice in a spray can) and my cologne mix very well together. I’d say this is a first hit. The girl instantly smiles at me, she’s totally warmed just like that. She complements my hair, says “did you brush your hair?”, a funny comment as I hadn’t..She insists there’s something different about it. We go into the car to drive off and I smile confidently in the knowledge that my phero cloud will be a kick in these girls heads. Just like that this chick who before was standoffish has warmed up. ALOT. She turns her head from the front seat of the car and looks at me now. Before she wouldn’t even look at me, now she keeps turning back and she smiles. I don’t say much of anything to her but I know its working. I wonder what in my arsenel is doing this. While I’ve never worn this combo around her before, I have worn similar spray downs in the past..I tried identifying what was different. As p74, TAL and instant sunshine are the only new additions at a spray each, I can only guess which one added to this new very comfortable non-threatening below the radar vibe I felt I was giving off. I suspect its mostly the TALs doing, but I can’t be sure. We get to the bar. What a shit night. Its doodful. Like 15 guys and 4 girls, including the ones that came with us. The girl introduces me to the bartender, a guy she knows..I give him a maybe awkward vaguely perhaps almost cliche homo ‘hi’. It might have been my imagination, but, I even wave my hand energetically. However, there was a facetious tone to it, like “hello, I don’t really give a shit who you are, but I’m being nice about it”. I suspect I’m getting self effects from the very massive dose of TAL I’ve sprayed myself with, 40-50 mcg. This was alot..Thus I tried acting a little more macho and detached to compensate..It wasn’t hard to get used to this effect. Guys sorrounded us. I mostly hung out with these two girls the whole night. It was a very clique kinda vibe, unusual for me. My friends girlfriend, while usually nice to me, I wouldn’t exactly consider to be very chummy with me. This other girl not at all either. I see her maybe a few times a year. She’s friends of friends and all that..But there was a connection. Guys chat her up. She’s so hot. Like, this is a dime girl. I’m not gonna get into a bar fight over some girl I barely know, hot or not, so I don’t push guys off of her. She has a mouth, let her tell them off. I am not in the mood to act alpha at all. Guys keep talking to me. I’m getting lots of male attention. This is also highly unusual for me. I come in with chicks, they’re probably just talking to me to open these girls, idk..Or maybe there’s something with the tal making them crowd us. This is pretty intense shit, I’ve never had this effect before. It HAS to be the TAL. Or the hot girl and dudefull bar…More likely a mix. Alright. I sit at the bar and just chill. The girls walk off, I don’t follow them..I don’t need to be this womans shadow. And pretty soon she comes back and buys me a drink. This..In the world of the freak is fairly unusual. Normally I’m the one buying drinks for hot girls. But as I’ve said, normally she is pretty nice to me..She’s a nice girl, not a hot stuck up bitch at all. I appreciate her for that. She puts her hand on my arm and touches me. There’s kino going on. This is highly unusual for her. So, we head out and go to another bar. The pattern continues, but the next bar is more crowded and there are females around. The TAL effect ghosts out a little here but its still readily apparent. And, for once..I’m having a very good time with these friends at the nearest local hood dive. The TAL dude effect is still going on, but its a little less intense. I talk to women at this point exclusively. I’m crowded with females, and when I’m not crowded with females, I’m just chilling by myself. Girl buys another round, takes care of me and gets me a shot. She’s feeling my arms up. I barely notice the affectionate touching. This is unusual for me because often I find touching and hugging scenarios somewhat awkward, but there’s none of that here. I feel connected and open. I tell her happy birthday. I say to her “I’m not saying this just cause your beautiful, but I always liked you, your a very nice girl. You’ve always been nice to me, I appreciate you for that, your a great person, happy birthday sweetie.” The sweet words that come from my mouth are recieved very happily and are rewarded with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I add mildly “Well, maybe cause your beautiful helps a little..But only just a little.” A strange girl approaches me, tells me I look familiar. I have no idea who she is. This is also a little odd for me. The bartender, an attractive female who sometimes gives me a kind of placating and artificially nice friendliness, is genuinely connected with me tonight as well. I get free drinks. This is all very abnormal. I take care of her and give her a nice tip..But I always do. She’s more gracious then normal as well. A friend of mine thinks that this girl is my girl. With the way she’s touching me..Maybe she could be? Now my normal club mix is 83, 86, shine and openness. The main differences with this one were the addition of p74, sunshine, taa and gentleman. Maybe the p74 brought out a high status boyfriend effect??? I hear it does that.. It also seems to make me socially very steering when mixed with the gentleman. TAA is nice too, focused and in the zone, motivating. Has an energy to it that I like. But I think the star here was the TAL. I knew how to deal with the disarming non-masculine effects of the TAL and how it effected the alpha types I was sorrounded by at the bar. You don’t have to be aggressive or an asshole to be alpha..I just laughed off challenges to my status or otherwise joked them off without much effort. The gentleman certainly helped with that, along with maybe the light dosing of jerk I put for ‘social proof’ (theoretically anyway, mine is the old one with cops). I’ve decided that I love TAL and I don’t mind the loss of machoness at all..Girls are far more friendly. I can’t wait to buy some p93..I hear that can get you under the radar too, I wonder how the synergy will be? I’ll deal with the gay vibe..Chicks will like me regardless. Phero experiences have made me very flexible in my interpersonal interaction styles.. On a side note, I used my friend as a TAL guinea pig. I sprayed him one night while chilling with friends. He was certainly emasculated, the guys teased him alot (they’re apt to do that on a normal day) and he got defensive but defended himself in a way unusual for him. He became in a word “bitchy” or “whiny” and complained alot..Even to me, and since I was being nice to him I was upset. He spilled shit on my floor and did a very poor job cleaning it up, he spilled pot on my floor, picked it up, decided it was dirty and threw it back on the floor. I yelled at him about it, “at least throw it the fuck out, you don’t put it back on the floor what the hell is your problem”.. You have to have the personality to use TAL..You can’t easily get away with being aggressive. You have to be aggressive in a different way..Otherwise it doesn’t work and your just a ‘bitch’. I don’t know quite how to explain it. Must needs more experimentation! I guinea pigged my two other friends with the p79 to try and figure out what it does. This one has been a quandry for me, left out of my mixes they appear more smoother..I’ve gotten into fights with friends on p79. I don’t know if I trust it..It has negative side effects. I sprayed them with the p79 to observe the reaction..It was not immediate.. Possible changes in behavior include a bossy-ness. My one friend was very arrogant. I sparked him up on some bud in my vaporizer, he kept changing the settings and not listening to my advice on the temp. This isn’t necessarily abnormal for him, just exaggerated. He spilled my weed too. He gave an air of high maintenance-ness. I teased him said “Who do you think you are, a high class whore? What, lets just sprinkle weed on my carpet, it just falls out of the sky and shit!” My other friend there at the time was more respectful but somewhat spaced out. He offered to spark me back, said “you really deserve it, your a great guy”. Its not very intense, but I can see how p79 can be a miss or hit and I very much notice how p79 got me into those fights with friends judging by the self-effects it gave my one friend. I dunno about that 79…More testing is needed. I plan on guinea pigging my friends more with my stuff. TAA is wonderful..Just makes people light up when sprayed with it. My friend asked what it does with a big smile on his face. I said to him “What do you think it does?”, he didn’t know, started laughing, I said to him “What are you doing right now?”, he noticed, still didn’t get it, I said to him “why do you think your laughing??” I think he still didn’t get it. But laughing and smiling for no reason isn’t really normal.. And thats all for my reporting. TAL needs more work..I’ve yet to have the opportunity to retry my former experimental mix, but from the looks of it, this one is a major keeper. I might try and get me some TAH next and maybe cops. definitely want p93, p75, taf and tac with my next order though, p93 in a togo..Who knows if I’ll like it. TAF cause it supposedly enhances other pheros. p103 is an option as well. I want to get some spaceland, instant sunshine isn’t a spaceland like I thought it would be..Its totally different. Or instead, I might just buy concentrated alphanol, I really liked the spaceland effect on myself and others when I had it. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/16 "2010-12-17T00:17:29Z")
Been working steadily lately. I’ve discovered a new mix that I like very much. It makes the ladies at work comfortable. I work with mostly women staffers..The department of education in general when it comes to employees is mostly women, so it makes sense I put on something makes women happy and calm. Students however are mostly males (special ed). I wear TAL very often. Put on instant gentleman next in line, often with TAL. I often wear TAA to make people happy and shit..Along with P74 sometimes, gets things moving pleasantly. And lately, sometimes P79, been experimenting with it. I also sometimes use IFM. Basically TAL is my favorite now. Its a great all purpose pheromone..Apparently at work it makes the kids more affectionate, not at all in a sexual way. Its kinda cute to watch it work its magic. I don’t think there are any _necessarily_ sexual affects to it, at least, not apparently. It may be _attractive_, but its in no way overbearingly so. I work with a few female students..Gauging their reactions to it, I don’t worry about them getting hot over me cause of it, and thats a major concern. Especially since one of my students has gotten fresh with me on several occasions before..If it hasn’t triggered her more lusty inclinations, so its gotten an ethical and moral seal of approval in my book. It makes women “fond” of me. I’ll put on the instant gentleman sometimes too, usually with the tal, but not always..I often rock the TAL alone with no undesirable side effects. Apparently my body chemistry and demeanor are fine for TAL with no problems. Then again, I’m not trying to fuck all my coworkers or students..Its nice to actually talk to them. Women are often uncomfortable in my presence, I’m not sure what thats about, but TAL seems to help. I’ve been talking to more of my female coworkers more often lately, and its genuinely friendly and warm. Its like arnold shwartzeneger in last action hero, when he was talking to the kids mom. “We actually stayed up all night and just talked, about all kinds of things, it was wonderful!” you know, that kind of hilarity..Like I just ooze some kind of sexuality all the time, I can’t ever be friends with women without that getting in the way. Its like a barrier..To affection, to warmness..Its just intimidating and uncomfortable for them I guess, I’m an attractive guy, I guess I can be intimidating just like a beautiful woman can be intimidating to a guy..To them, its like “Why should I talk to this guy, he’s way out of my league, probably will think I’m flirting with him”, no benefit of the doubt kinda thing. Idk exactly whats going on here, but TAL seems great for me. Fuckin awesome. Its nice to be friendly with these women for once without my cock getting in the way, believe it or not. Though…I will say there’s sometimes a lot of closeness and affectionate touching that occasionally makes me uncomfortable. I’m just unused to that…Women only occasionally touch me like that, on the shoulder and elbow area, hand too but more often higher up (which as I understand it, indicates feelings of closeness and comfortableness), and usually if they’re not close to me anyway so that they don’t have to worry about awkwardness or build up of more sexual tensions, and often don’t talk to me spontaneously for similar reasons, its like a barrier or something, I just ooze that sex makes it obviously flirtatious or awkward to do so. I’m the kind of guy has no other choice but to approach women for that reason. Apparently they don’t feel that as much lately. It’d be like me walking up to a beautiful woman and just talking to her..The girl could possibly just assume I was there to flirt, even if it wasn’t true, knowing that some sort of implicit rejection might follow, even if that wasn’t your intention, even if you didn’t care or weren’t attracted, your less apt to talk to them, even if your intentions were purely platonic. My sex appeal gets in the way of meaningful or even _light_ conversation, and apparently my social skills aren’t too great at steering interactions past that! For them like running into a wall. A big sexy well built wall with a mural on it that you like to stare at and lean on, often, possibly nude. Its intense enough to scare them away. Its just what happens when a good looking guy talks to a good looking woman..Things get hot, and depending on the situation and if you know each other well enough or can break past the ice, that could be very uncomfortable. So women avoid me at times. At least, this is my interpretation of whats going on here. The TAL definitely helps. Sometimes I’ll put the instant gentleman over it. For that figure of authority kinda vibe. Its good..sometimes. But I’m not sure if it has much use or if I even really need it at all. The TAL is fine by itself. If its a bad day, kids wilding out, stress..I’ll put on Instant female magic to smooth things over with the lady folk I work with. My presence is evidently extremely soothing and calming. Maybe even addictive! But it usually is..without pheromones. Even so, I can definitely feel a difference when I am wearing them. Sometimes I’ll rock p74. Its at a high dose. 30mcg. I’ll wear that to work without fear however..While the looks from my female students increase, its apparently not an overwhelming invitation to make them touchy feely. Idk. The p79..I have noticed increased arguing while wearing it. It is an intensifier of emotions, I’m sure of it. I suspect a single spray goes a long time too. I haven’t written on this site in a long time. I think I’ll share some more stories soon.. ---
**Author:** ![TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@TheFreakOfTheUniverse](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheFreakOfTheUniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/17 "2011-05-20T20:15:36Z")
Wore lots of TAL for a while. Almost everyday for the past several months. Wearing TAL is peculiar. Definitely tones down my macho vibe. After a long time wearing it, I’ve started to notice I’m alot softer in gesture and mannerism..The way I stand, walk. I’ve also noticed its let me in on some of the most insane female drama I have ever witnessed in my life. Definitely a one of the girls effect. It was pretty awesome, if not somewhat faggy to participate in odd quintessentially female dramas. Worrying is the changes in the way I stand, walk around..Wearing this shit everyday can effect you interestingly. TAL is a highly affectionate phero. So to is TAA. TAA is pretty awesome all around. TAL so totally needs to rock with TUTH..Ideally with some gentleman. Even then…Its girly. It’ll make you come off girlyish. Soft..I caught myself for the longest time walking with my arms out forward, like I was drying my nails and shit..Prototypically gay. Considering I’ve always been told I have a hyper-masculine way about me…This is rather interesting self-effect. TAA rocks..Girlfriend says it smells masculine. That surprised me..I wouldn’t necessarily associate it with being dudely, but then again…Its also very attractive. Several times so far this one girl at my job has come by and started conversations with me, more than likely as a direct response to TAA. I think she’s also a fan for p74. I should experiment one of these days at the job, put on both and see if the desired conversation magically materializes like it seems to. I doubt its like smexual though..I don’t think girls drool over me cause of it. Its just very chill. Its cool to wear all around. Put Jerk on the other day…Went to work. HORRIBLE day. Sumo wrestling with 200+ pound two year old emotionally imbalanced student. I also got scratched up by another, nearly in a fist fight with one of my kids. I also got into an argument with a staffer…Who, while often tries to bully me, has gotten worse since the exposure. Jerk is NOT a good idea to wear at my job. Ever. I have no idea why I did it to myself. I guess I wanted to see what would happen…Even though this almost always happens. It was probably unethical to even put it on that morning. Wore TUTH lately for a few days. Working with this hot older woman. Interestingly, the awkwardness that normally results from wearing TUTH at work with my mostly female coworkers has disappeared. I also get more respect from male staff, evidently. Students too. Perhaps wearing TAL for a long time has changed my ‘profile’ so to speak. The difference is very interesting. Most surprising is the attention I’ve gotten from men since putting it on..Maybe wearing TAL for a while put them off? Either way..Dudes have been mostly friendly from wearing it. Some respect factor. p79 and TAL is an instant argument machine. The women fight very strongly. Like working in a soap opera. It doesn’t seem to affect the kids I work with the same way, interestingly. TAL is an instant affection machine. The kids treat you like a teddy bear…But adult women…Strong cat fights start up, continuously. Its not ethical to wear large amounts of this combo in a highly female environment. Eventually..I’ve sensed a loss of respect from wearing it, from the ladies…I wouldn’t call it loss of respect..Just a different standard takes effect. To the ladies I worked with..I’m not “one of the guys”. They, especially the older highly dominant latino female I worked with, tease me mildly for evidently my more ‘gentle’ nature..In addition, this particular one, she doesn’t seem to be able to handle me when I’m wearing tuth anymore. She’s a fan for shine though.. P86+[P83](https://a314.com/product/p83/)…The airbrush effect is almost certainly true. I have witnessed it…It has made even retarded drooling women look appealing. It is almost certainly NOT ethical for me to wear this to work. Its also distracting. Finding my female students suddenly note-worthily attractive is a side effect much worth noting. Though..The effect of finding beauty in women I normally don’t see as pretty or appreciate like that is in its own way a beautiful thing. I have noticed that rather than simply making people more attractive, I think it rather makes you spend more time evaluating their looks. You notice features and aesthetic reasons to find them attractive. Sorta like really taking the time to seriously examine them..As if a painting or something..The sum of the parts comes out more, a crystallization effect. You’ll see things in peoples features you don’t normally notice and be more forgiving of apparent flaws. Its very fascinating. I wouldn’t wear it to work cause, finding infantile women attractive is scary. Not to mention the effects it has on me looking at women at work in general..It’ll make me horny as shit all the evidently _hot_ girls I see (most of my coworkers are women). A disturbing effect. P74 is great. It works for guys and girls. Its idk..Status boosting in general, smooths things out easy. Doubt its highly sexual..But it is attractive. My all time favorite so far is mx297. This shit is great. Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![examine](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/examine/32/1665_2.png) [@examine](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/examine)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 6:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/18 "2013-02-10T06:41:37Z")
this is actually a very good informative TAL thread. sub’d. ---
**Author:** ![Lordrac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5daacb/32.png) [@Lordrac](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lordrac)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/19 "2013-02-10T17:27:30Z")
> [@examine](#): > > this is actually a very good informative TAL thread. > > sub’d. Normally i don’t like necromancy but this is an incredibly good journal. Sad that the author is long gone. Would have liked to see more, his talent for writing is greater than many prominent members here. A level of relaxed & analytical depth and description that isn’t present in other journals. ---
**Author:** ![examine](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/examine/32/1665_2.png) [@examine](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/examine)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/freaks-journal/38767/20 "2013-02-10T20:18:04Z")
> [@Lordrac](#): > > Normally i don’t like necromancy but this is an incredibly good journal. Sad that the author is long gone. Would have liked to see more, his talent for writing is greater than many prominent members here. A level of relaxed & analytical depth and description that isn’t present in other journals. agreed. It’s almost tactius style. Sigma is another good user who tests well and describes his sprays in depth.