# getting her back **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [August 24, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079 "2010-08-24T19:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![just-me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/da6949/32.png) [@just-me](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/just-me)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/1 "2010-08-24T19:40:55Z")
hi guys, I’m new to the forum. I’ll try to be as short as possible. My ex gf and I just ended 5 years long relationship. we had some serious life problems (not related to our relationship) that made her slip away. even though we were trying to hang together until things get better, she decided to move on, apparently because she found someone who makes her happy at the moment. I can understand and I told her so, now we’re still working out on details how to split up everything we’ve built together and I just informed her that I’m ready to move out and move on. she wants to be friends because we never lost respect and trust in each other, she didn’t cheat on me and I know that she’s suffering too (she’s lost weight and having headaches every day and she’s trying to be away from me as much as possible). I have feeling as thought she’s avoiding me because she still has some feelings left and memories and my presence is hurting her. Now I decided to let her go and try to win her back in the future, hoping that time without me will help her realize what she’s lost. Now I ordered some “ammunition” which came with the sample of “turn up the heat” in hope that will make her feel attracted to me again subconsciously, because I’m sure if we had another chance we could fix it. it was funny, she came home today and brought me the package from androtics because mailman left it at the door lol. of course, she doesn’t know what it was 🙂 so I applied some to my chest and tried to talk to her about how we’re gonna go about separation. The timing was probably wrong because she’d already made plans and was trying to leave, so i’m not sure how much could [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) work in such setting. we agreed though to sit down and discuss everything tomorrow. I explained her that I need to move on as well and we shouldn’t be delaying much. now, I believe we’ll occasionally meet even after I move out so I’m wondering how will pheromones work. If I apply it every time we meet, is it possible that over time she’ll start noticing something different about me and feel attracted? I definitely don’t want to rush it, I’ll give her some time and I’d like this attraction to develop naturally so she’ll want to spend more time with me until the right moment comes. besides pheromones I started working on myself as she always wanted me to be. I’m losing weight, going to gym and feel good about myself. My attitude is very positive and I can make her laugh although she’s resisting it. I managed to get that old smile and nostalgic look in her eye few times and I have feeling she’d consider getting back with me if there wasn’t someone else in her life. I’m pretty sure that person is here only temporary and she’ll not develop serious relationship with him. please help me out guys! I’m ready to move on if needed, but would definitely like my old life back if there is any chance! ---
**Author:** ![Wolfishgrin](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfishgrin/32/1082_2.png) [@Wolfishgrin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfishgrin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/2 "2010-08-24T19:58:32Z")
You pointed out the only thing that’s going to help. Time. Time will help her forget some of the things that’s happened between you. It’ll help her look back at everything fondly. It’ll help her situation so that later, you can pick things up again. Here’s my two scents… [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/) is for getting that sexxy first impression and keeping it. TUTH is for turning things up once you’ve already got that comfort with the girl. You’ve already had a relationship, long lasting at that, with this girl. You’ve got the foundation. You don’t want to escalate things sexually, it might make her feel uncomfortable around you. Try IS and A314. Or the spray version, which is MX347. Those boost your status. She’ll notice the change, and it’ll become very appealing for her. ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/3 "2010-08-24T20:25:26Z")
I agree with wolfishgrin. Only time will help that. [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) could help reconnect you, but remember that sometimes deep seeded issues can’t be trumped by anything. I saw how much you wrote but I think that’s only a part of what’s been going on. I can only imagine how hard it is. Pheromone wise IH is the only thing that comes to mind right now based on the situation you said. Best of luck and hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![henk](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/henk/32/5189_2.png) [@henk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/henk)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/4 "2010-08-24T21:33:09Z")
I have been in the same situation. Mones don’t seem to work on my ex gf. But i haven’t tried my fav mix yet 2 drops A314 with 3 sprays IH. It sounds hard but getting over it as soon as possible is the best to get her back. Do everything you wanted to do. Work on yourself and meet with other girls. Let her see that you can live without her. The other person is probably just a rebound. ---
**Author:** ![hoplessly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hoplessly/32/2319_2.png) [@hoplessly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/hoplessly)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/5 "2010-08-24T21:58:30Z")
I’ve done some testing around my ex. My common observation is that either it’s not working on her or she’s hiding it very well. Now it’s not that whatever I’m wearing isn’t working. I know it works. I’ve seen reactions from lots of other women and the reaction is extremely positive so it’s been puzzling why there doesn’t seem to be much reaction with her. At some point a few months back she responded really well. This may have more to do with her mindset lately and she’s probably dead set against us having a relationship. I’m probably more of a hindrance to her current plans and goals because she’s been hanging out with this other guy at work a lot so I assume they’re together. So anytime I run into her, she may be experiencing emotions that she doesn’t or refuses to acknowledge. Others have given good advice. IS, IH are all good choices. a1 if you’re so inclined because that seems to be a great one to establish comfort. Or concentrate your energies in improving yourself and starting over with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![MVKBUGATTI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@MVKBUGATTI](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MVKBUGATTI)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/6 "2010-08-24T22:14:58Z")
> [@just-me](#): > > hi guys, I’m new to the forum…“besides pheromones I started working on myself as **she** always **wanted** me to be.” I second the motion to Wolfishgrin’s suggestion; increase your status. One quick step is with A314 and [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/); however continue with self development. Most importantly. **Do it for yourself**. ---
**Author:** ![henk](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/henk/32/5189_2.png) [@henk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/henk)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 10:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/7 "2010-08-24T22:43:33Z")
> [@hoplessly](#): > > Others have given good advice. IS, IH are all good choices. a1 if you’re so inclined because that seems to be a great one to establish comfort. If you go for A1 make sure you know the self effects. I can’t handle 50mcgs A1 without 2 drops A314. And i think that A1 builds up just like none. Saturday i did a OD on A1 (100mcgs). There where more than 6 hours between the first 2 sprays and the last 2 sprays. It was a great evening with a girl i’ve just met. I’m not gonna tell anything more but i went home at 8 in the morning. But sunday i was pissed of for no reason. I should test A1 around my ex gf. Not that i want her back anymore. I’m interested in the effects of A1 on her. A314, Ammo, IS and IO don’t work on my ex gf for sure. Or she is hiding her feelings very very well. > [@MVKBUGATTI](#): > > I second the motion to Wolfishgrin’s suggestion; increase your status. One quick step is with A314 and Instant Shine; however continue with self development. Most importantly. **Do it for yourself**. I agree with this. Do it for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![cthulhuone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@cthulhuone](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/cthulhuone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/8 "2010-08-24T23:03:21Z")
This may not come across as the most helpful post, and will certainly not be what you want to hear, but it is something you will have to realize sooner or later. Let her go. I don’t know you, your partner, or the situation you are in. But from what you wrote on the subject, it has been 5 years; if things aren’t stable enough by now, they never will be, mones or nigh. You can seek some comfort in knowing I’m coming from an empathetic perspective: I dumped my ex back in April, we had a “relatively” LTR (about 1 year 4 months) and things were great for the first year, but things began to crumble and it was all downhill. The bitch of it was my own fear and insecurity of being single (alone). I hadn’t had a serious relationship for nearly 4 years prior to this one, so I put everything I had into this girl; doing everything I could to keep her happy. Long story short, I discovered on 3 separate occasions that she was talking to other guys/girls (she’s bi) seriously behind my back. I eventually confronted her about it, and she broke down, said “she loved me more than anything…didn’t feel as happy anymore…blah blah blah” we’ve all heard it before. I told her that I’m not one to put up with this kind of shit and I do everything I can for her…blah blah blah we’ve all said it before lol. I also said that if I catch her creeping again, she’s gone. Well she did it, and now she’s gone! lol Thing is, now that I 86’ed her, I’ve never been happier! I am in the best shape of my life. I’m meeting chicks, hooking up with chicks I’ve known that i’ve always wanted, making friends, got a new job and just being an overall badass! It’s great! Long story short, women can either make you realize your potential, or hold you back; you and I fall into the latter category. She obviously isn’t as committed as you are if she’s already up on some other dude, so fuck her. Respond in like kind and live YOUR life. There’s literally billions of girls out there in the world, this one ain’t worth your time or your mental anguish. Keep up your mones, your exercise routine, and your path to self-actualization. Rise from the ashes like a Phoenix, and leave those who held you back behind! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Sebastian](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/john_sebastian/32/1060_2.png) [@John\_Sebastian](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/John_Sebastian)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/9 "2010-08-25T01:32:26Z")
> [@MVKBUGATTI](#): > > I second the motion to Wolfishgrin’s suggestion; increase your status. One quick step is with A314 and Instant Shine; however continue with self development. Most importantly. **Do it for yourself**. ^ This. A thousand times. Do it for yourself, because most women want a man who can take care of himself. Example: The old saying “you have to love yourself before anybody else can love you.” Stay in there, some IH can help to reconnect for sure. But really its self-development you need like the above friends said. ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/10 "2010-08-25T02:39:09Z")
Here’s the real thing to think about. You guys have issues and she’s “found” somebody that makes her happy right now. Basically neither of you are the same people you were five years ago when you got together in the first place. And, if you spend this time apart working on yourself and your issues as an individual, one, two or three years down the line you won’t be the same person you are now (and hopefully not regressed to being who you were back then) and in all likelihood neither will she. The point being, if you’re working on self development and thinking of getting her back later on down the line, you’re discounting the very thing that resulted in the relationship ending in the first place…people change. You’re considering becoming the man you think she wants you to be (never a good motive for personal growth btw) but thinking about getting the person she is now. Two or three years from now, she could be totally different from who she is today, her growth may take her in a direction totally different from your own and you’ll still be wanting the OLD her. Two or three years from now, your own growth could take you in a direction where ultimately neither the person she is today, or the person she becomes then will be right for you. At that point any pursuit would be chasing the memory of the feelings you had and not the actual person. Worst of all, while you’re working and succeeding on becoming a better man, you may gain the attention of some top notch women. Opportunities that you might either pass on, or at best go into with less than total commitment because chasing the past is always on your mind. Good way to know if you’re doing this for the right reasons is to ask yourself…If you knew that “working on yourself” and following some sort of personal development/self improvement phase in your life would result in you looking like a cover model for mens health, getting a raise and promotion at work(or getting a new, better job altogether), where you’d be respected and admired by your coworkers, a larger circle of interesting and fun friends and attractive women showing you attention…but with 100% certainty you know, you will NEVER get her back…would you still do it? If the answer’s “no”, then you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Mones are easy…A314 to create a sense of “wow, you’ve really grown up and changed, it’s like you evolved into whole new man” IH to maintain that sense of trust and connection, and a LITTLE tuth to create sexual tension. Actually accepting the past as the past and moving forward. Finding INTERNAL motivation to grow and evolve and letting go of a little glimmer of hope at bringing back the person you used to know…that’s a bit trickier, I know. ---
**Author:** ![just-me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/da6949/32.png) [@just-me](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/just-me)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/11 "2010-08-25T03:09:10Z")
Thanks all for reply’s. My self development is really something that makes me happy and I am ready to move on. I’m full of self confidence and have positive attitude about life most of the time but still often I miss the life we had. I’m positive that we could fix all up only if she wanted to give it a second chance. I’m not ready to give up just jet, but I’m not letting my life revolve around her either. I know I’ll feel better once I move out and the time will show weather it is meant to be or not. ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/12 "2010-08-25T04:17:31Z")
What the guys said was true, if you really wanna change you should really change for yourself. But with my case I did it for the wrong reasons and ended up learning the right way and found the right reasons later on. You’ll realize one way or another what you’re doing is really truly making you happy. It’s a nice quick read, but the philosophy I’ve learned from it has been great. Read up on Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson ---
**Author:** ![Wrlprchnx](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wrlprchnx/32/1360_2.png) [@Wrlprchnx](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wrlprchnx)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/13 "2010-08-25T14:50:25Z")
[This blog](http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/the-easiest-way-to-revive-a-flagging-relationship/) has some info that might help… ---
**Author:** ![just-me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/da6949/32.png) [@just-me](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/just-me)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/14 "2010-08-25T16:27:35Z")
> [@Wrlprchnx](#): > > [This blog](http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/the-easiest-way-to-revive-a-flagging-relationship/) has some info that might help… that’s exactly what I’m trying to do right now. we still live together but I’m not calling her at all anymore, I’m trying to leave house before her (even though i wish to stay and hang out) and she acted surprised few times when I left. she was like “where are you going?” I’m about to move out soon and I will leave her alone, although the problem is we have some money invested together in some things and we’ll need to keep in touch from time to time in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/15 "2010-08-25T16:59:38Z")
> [@just-me](#): > > hi guys, I’m new to the forum. > > I’ll try to be as short as possible. > > My ex gf and I just ended 5 years long relationship. we had some serious life problems (not related to our relationship) that made her slip away. even though we were trying to hang together until things get better, she decided to move on, **apparently because she found someone who makes her happy** at the moment. I can understand and I told her so, now we’re still working out on details how to split up everything we’ve built together and I just informed her that I’m ready to move out and move on. > > she wants to be friends because we never lost respect and trust in each other, **she didn’t cheat on me and I know that she’s suffering too (she’s lost weight and having headaches every day and she’s trying to be away from me as much as possible)**. **I have feeling as thought she’s avoiding me because she still has some feelings left and memories and my presence is hurting her.** > > Now I decided to let her go and try to win her back in the future, hoping that time without me will help her realize what she’s lost. > > Now I ordered some “ammunition” which came with the sample of “turn up the heat” in hope that will make her feel attracted to me again subconsciously, because I’m sure if we had another chance we could fix it. > > it was funny, she came home today and brought me the package from androtics because mailman left it at the door lol. of course, she doesn’t know what it was 🙂 > so I applied some to my chest and tried to talk to her about how we’re gonna go about separation. The timing was probably wrong because she’d already made plans and was trying to leave, so i’m not sure how much could pheromones work in such setting. > > we agreed though to sit down and discuss everything tomorrow. **I explained her that I need to move on as well and we shouldn’t be delaying much.** > > now, **I believe we’ll occasionally meet even after I move out so I’m wondering how will pheromones work.** If I apply it every time we meet, is it possible that over time she’ll start noticing something different about me and feel attracted? I definitely don’t want to rush it, I’ll give her some time and I’d like this attraction to develop naturally so she’ll want to spend more time with me until the right moment comes. > > besides pheromones **I started working on myself as she always wanted me to be. I’m losing weight, going to gym and feel good about myself.** **My attitude is very positive and I can make her laugh although she’s resisting it.** I managed to get that old smile and nostalgic look in her eye few times and I have feeling she’d consider getting back with me if there wasn’t someone else in her life. I’m pretty sure that person is here only temporary and **she’ll not develop serious relationship with him.** > > please help me out guys! **I’m ready to move on if needed, but would definitely like my old life back if there is any chance!** All of your key points. I see everybody commenting and saying you should have been working out and feeling good about yourself; and WE ALL do that, after we lose the one we care for. I quit smoking! FINALLY! Funny thing is … I knew that I was wanting and fight for someone who could care less about me! Still … I owe her … no more cigarettes, and I’ve been in the gym every since. Almost 10 years, now. One of the best, if not the best looking old man on my block! \ I feel your pains, and yes, you can try all the combinations and mones you want, with her. I put your writing under a microscope, and you’re doing exactly what I did … covering up the doodoo. Her wanting to get away, and has feelings, can and may be GUILT! She hasn’t cheated on you? Why/how is this other making her so happy? I’ve been wrong before, so … I’ve said all that to say, "DON’T LET YOUR WANT’S AND DESIRES BLIND YOU. It does. It will. And there are NOT TOO many exceptions, when we don’t want to, or are AFRAID to **turn the page** and move on. Still … YOU have to be happy. Ride that horse as long as you like, IF it pleases you. Good luck! Stay strong! And know yee this, there’s billions of stories just like yours all over the world. You will live through it. ---
**Author:** ![just-me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/da6949/32.png) [@just-me](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/just-me)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/16 "2010-08-25T18:02:35Z")
why the other one is making her happy? because it’s something new, interesting and all relationships are like that in the beginning. she was fragile at the moment because we had a downturn in our lives and who knows, maybe he used pheromones to his advantage as well! he’s here only with the crew filming the movie, after that he’s moving on to new town and probably new chicks! just few months back we started business together and obviously she wasn’t planing to leave me because we both invested money and now we’re stuck with it! that’s why I believe it just happened for her to fall for someone and since she didn’t wanna cheat on me, she broke up. She’s been going out without me for years and I know that a lot of people were hitting on her, but she always had her guard up and would tell them straight up that she has a serious relationship. I met some of those people later and they told me that themselves. I know it seems I’m just defending my point of view and I might be wrong but I have nothing to lose by trying to get back together. in the meantime, I will be working on myself and do what makes me happy. only time will tell. I’ll sure feel a lot better once I move out because her presence makes me feel worse! the bad thing is I started smoking again. I gotta quit asap! ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/17 "2010-08-25T18:42:10Z")
> [@just-me](#): > > why the other one is making her happy? **because it’s something new, interesting and all relationships are like that in the beginning.** she was fragile at the moment because **we had a downturn in our lives** and who knows, **maybe he used pheromones to his advantage** as well! **he’s here only with the crew filming the movie, after that he’s moving on to new town and probably new chicks!** > just few months back we started business together and obviously she wasn’t planing to leave me because we both invested money and now we’re stuck with it! that’s why I believe it just happened for her to fall for someone and since she didn’t wanna cheat on me, she broke up. She’s been going out without me for years and I know that a lot of people were hitting on her, but she always had her guard up and would tell them straight up that she has a serious relationship. I met some of those people later and they told me that themselves. > > I know it seems I’m just defending my point of view and I might be wrong but I have nothing to lose by trying to get back together. in the meantime, I will be working on myself and do what makes me happy. only time will tell. I’ll sure feel a lot better once I move out because her presence makes me feel worse! the bad thing is I started smoking again. I gotta quit asap! Well, when it comes to matters of the heart, and in cases like this … I ALWAYS HOPE THAT I’M WRONG in my thinking. I am, by no means RIGHT, so … If you two get back together: So, each times she’s in need of something NEW, the possibility of her breaking up with you to get her thrill, is cool? Each time tuff (my spelling) times appear, she needs something new? I’d not want someone that packs up each time a storm comes. Mones only amplifies what’s REALLY there. This could be true in your case. You have something to look forward to, the next time the new film crew’s in town? Anytime a person GOES OUT for years … there will always be that ONE person that penetrates that shield. "She’s been out 10000 times, but she slept with someone on her outing of 10000 & 1st time out. WARNING: When a man or woman enjoys going out without their partners … things are stale/getting old. Anybody know anyone that needs/request their space at the beginning of a new relationship? I don’t. No, you have nothing to lose, but it sounds, TO ME, that you will have this SAME story to tell, if you do. Sometimes people mature, sometimes they don’t. You have the dice … roll’em all you like. It may sound like I’m bashing you and your thoughts .. I AM NOT. IF you lie to yourself, and start believing your own lies … that could be hazardous to your health and life. I wish I had someone to point the ugliness out in my trying times, so that I wouldn’t have kept putting candy sprinkles on a pile doodoo to hide the real funk! Once, again … I HOPE THAT I’M WRONG, 'cause being HAPPY is crucial in this day and time. Time is the true story teller, let it show you, if that’s what you want. In the end … it’s you that matters. I’ll try not to send anymore comments, 'cause I KNOW that no one wants to hear talk against what they REALLY WANT. I hated it when my friends told me to let her go, she’s not worth it, there’s better, etc. etc. With time, I learned what they said was true. Dammit! 🆒 GOOD LUCK! ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/18 "2010-08-26T05:56:05Z")
This is something few guys that get into pua realize when they get into “qualifying” the woman. They think it’s just a matter of making the woman FEEL like she has to impress you and earn your attention…when in fact your frame and reality should be that she actually does have to impress you. The difference between the two lines of thinking is that qualifying, as it’s taught in most schools of pickup is simply a handful of lines, usually an IOI with an IOD calibrator to create a sense in the woman that you’re a man worth working for, but the reality is that the PUA is still approaching it from the frame of him wanting her and the technique is simply to make her think the tables are turned. On the other hand when a man gets to a stage where he’s qualifying the woman, the qualifiers should in fact be based on things he actually values in another person and would expect from the woman besides her sexuality. Qualifiers based on character traits that you actually value are ideal. Now it might seem like I’ve drifted off from the original topic, but there is a point. That point being, that as a man, I’m looking for a woman that would actually value a relationship with a long history enough to work through the tough times with me. And when I’m meeting women I’ll throw out qualifiers based on that. I also throw out qualifiers that reflect my value on loyalty, as well as ones aimed to weed out potential gold diggers and star fuckers/groupies. Always hold on to your N.U.T’s (Non-negotiable and Unalterable Terms). Think about what you value, and seriously consider whether or not this woman possesses those qualities. From what I’ve read, the ideal ending from my perspective is that this guy moves on and dumps her (which alone is reason not to take her back, one thing if she dumped him but who wants a girl that’s only with you because her first choice bailed?), she comes running back to you, and you realize what you REALLY want in a woman, and deserve…and you politely tell her that she’s just not your type anymore. Then you move on and find a woman that isn’t going to run because things are hard, or get’s bored and wants to try a new flavor for a while. ---
**Author:** ![yetis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@yetis](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/yetis)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2010, 8:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/getting-her-back/41079/19 "2010-08-29T08:43:09Z")
I can’t give you advice for what to do and which phero-products are the best, that you have to find for yourself, 'cause you know your girl best. I recommend reading for self-improvement and more: [The DJ Bible](http://www.sosuave.com/bible/bible.htm) [The Don Juan Bible: Hints, tips and articles on the art of seduction, romance, dating and courting (DJB, DJ)](http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/) Especially the “Book of Pook” and my absolute favorite right now is the “Book of Shuma Gora” \<— very good points here. I’m reading it right now. Just my 2 cents… “Try to seduce her, every day!!! Surprise her. Give her safety and comfort. Be a man. Be confident. Be a challenge, have the right attitude, and be patient. Time will come.” cul8er.