# Girl Unsure of Feelings, Low Self-esteem **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 14, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049 "2009-04-14T18:44:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/1 "2009-04-14T18:44:08Z")
Ok to start off, this girl is a little shy and sensitive. She has low self esteem… Our current status is friends that like each other, and we have no problem with kino (holding hands, giving each other massages etc), Have hooked up with her in the past (4 months ago). Right now she won’t kiss me, because she is “unsure” of our future.. I want to use some phero to push her just a little, i already know she is attracted to me. I just got A314, [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/), Instant Gentlemen, and turn up the heat What combo of these would be preferable, i am inclined to use a314 to display value, but am worried that this will intimadate her due to her low-self esteem btw im 19, girl is 18 ---
**Author:** ![karaudio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@karaudio](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/karaudio)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/2 "2009-04-14T19:19:19Z")
well… If you just need to push her over the edge… I’d try TUTH and some of your shine… Me I’d use 2x Openness and TUTH (maybe some residual A314 from earlier in the day) From What i’ve noticed alot of the guys on here just need some confidence. Phero’s give you an edge its not some magic voodo juice. If your coming across as a whimp you might just need some instant jerk/ and 2X openness. ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/3 "2009-04-14T19:45:09Z")
haha i dont think jerk is the problem, we stopped hooking up because “i didnt care enuff” and i kind of had sex with her cuzins best friend, she found out lol ---
**Author:** ![karaudio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@karaudio](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/karaudio)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/4 "2009-04-14T19:56:01Z")
well… jerk sounds good enough to me… lol I’d try A314 and TUTH… If she resists that then I’d move on. ---
**Author:** ![xev](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xev/32/1993_2.png) [@xev](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/xev)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/5 "2009-04-14T19:59:44Z")
You might think about the long term ramifications of starting a relationship with someone with low self-esteem…do you know why she has this problem? ---
**Author:** ![djandarial](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/djandarial/32/1667_2.png) [@djandarial](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/djandarial)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/6 "2009-04-14T19:59:48Z")
karaudio is right in my OP ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/7 "2009-04-14T20:48:19Z")
in response to Xev: she was in a 2 yr relationship and got dumped (guy nvr cared), trust and self-esteem issues ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/8 "2009-04-14T21:40:56Z")
Hi total 🙂 She’s already attracted to you. A young woman who’s shy, sensitive _and_ with low self-esteem doesn’t need TUTH. From what you’ve said she’s been hurt and scared. To much -enone could have just the opposite effect on a girl like this. It could scare her and even chase her away. You’d be much better off with [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/). 😉 What she needs is to feel safe and comfortable. She needs to feel secure, in herself, enough to be able to move on her attraction to/feelings for you. Showing her that you’re willing to lay that foundation will put her on the road to that discovery. It takes time, total. With a girl like this, you have to be willing to invest it. Your best bet, for the time being, is to stick with the socials. Instant Shine for an uplifting fun to be around vibe. Openness/Honesty or CTTM2. I’d suggest some IFM, if you could get your hands on it …_then_, when you sense she’s feeling more comfy segue into AMMO. You might try some P74, as suggested by Steve **O** , as an ersatz substitute for IFM…and perhaps a low dose of P83. Well, that’s my nickle 🙂 Bella Oh, one other thing…if you’re not really interested in this girl…don’t fuck her up, even more, for just sex. You know that would be so… not cool. ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/9 "2009-04-14T21:52:51Z")
Thats what i was worried about with the a314 and turn up the heat. I’m not in this for a hookup with her. We had that 4 months ago for about 4 months, I wanted it to become a relationship (i pushed it and she got scared). Thanks for the advice > [@Bella](#): > > Hi total 🙂 > > She’s already attracted to you. A young woman who’s shy, sensitive _and_ with low self-esteem doesn’t need TUTH. From what you’ve said she’s been hurt and scared. To much -enone could have just the opposite effect on a girl like this. It could scare her and even chase her away. You’d be much better off with Instant Gentleman. 😉 What she needs is to feel safe and comfortable. She needs to feel secure, in herself, enough to be able to move on her attraction to/feelings for you. Showing her that you’re willing to lay that foundation will put her on the road to that discovery. It takes time, total. With a girl like this, you have to be willing to invest it. > > Your best bet, for the time being, is to stick with the socials. Instant Shine for an uplifting fun to be around vibe. Openness/Honesty or CTTM2. I’d suggest some IFM, if you could get your hands on it …_then_, when you sense she’s feeling more comfy segue into AMMO. > > You might try some P74, as suggested by Steve **O** , as an ersatz substitute for IFM…and perhaps a low dose of P83. > > Well, that’s my nickle 🙂 > > Bella > > Oh, one other thing…if you’re not really interested in this girl…don’t fuck her up, even more, for just sex. You know that would be so… not cool. ---
**Author:** ![Snoopyace](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/snoopyace/32/1727_2.png) [@Snoopyace](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Snoopyace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/10 "2009-04-14T22:28:00Z")
> [@Bella](#): > > Hi total 🙂 > > She’s already attracted to you. A young woman who’s shy, sensitive _and_ with low self-esteem doesn’t need TUTH. From what you’ve said she’s been hurt and scared. To much -enone could have just the opposite effect on a girl like this. It could scare her and even chase her away. You’d be much better off with Instant Gentleman. 😉 What she needs is to feel safe and comfortable. She needs to feel secure, in herself, enough to be able to move on her attraction to/feelings for you. Showing her that you’re willing to lay that foundation will put her on the road to that discovery. It takes time, total. With a girl like this, you have to be willing to invest it. Absolutely true! [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/) works very well with the shy, sensitive girls to help them feel safe and comfortable. It is a great way to show her that you really are interested in a relationship with her. ---
**Author:** ![FastJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@FastJ](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/FastJ)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 11:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/11 "2009-04-14T23:24:09Z")
The girl I’m after is similar in terms of self esteem. I’ve been wearing ammo around her, and today I added instant gentleman. She commented on the ammo last week. Just that I smelled nice. Today we had a meeting after work and she sat next to me, but I’m thinking that was more coincidence. I’m waiting for instant openess. Should be here tomorrow afternoon, so I’ll add that for thursday. ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/12 "2009-04-24T01:44:12Z")
update: she said she may like this other guy she hooked up with (while i had a gf), i lost it a little bit said im done with her on the phone. She texted me 2 days later (when we “like” each other, its normal for us to txt all day long say gn and then an hour into our days txt again). Asking how i was, said she did care about me. We’re hanging out saturday, going to the city (i need to make a visit to the nyc library) its supposed to be 85F! idk whether to move on and keep her as a friend, keep trying, or just stop talking to her. I do care about her, but the negatives (getting hurt) are starting to out weigh the positives. ---
**Author:** ![FastJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@FastJ](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/FastJ)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/13 "2009-04-24T01:55:22Z")
The smart move is to be done with her. Don’t even go with the “just friends” b/c it will be like a knife in the chest everytime she’s with someone else. But, if you’re anything like me, you’ll keep trying and get yourself really hurt. I hope you’re stronger than me for your own sake. ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/14 "2009-04-24T02:01:55Z")
We’ll see saturday, It is hard with her (her little sister txts me all the time, im friends with her older brother (my age) and i met her through her cousin, her dad leaves me box seats to the opening Mets game…) I will have reminders of her for sometime to come. ---
**Author:** ![FastJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@FastJ](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/FastJ)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/15 "2009-04-24T02:07:03Z")
I see you’re 19. Is she the first one you’ve fallen REALLY hard for? ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/16 "2009-04-24T02:13:13Z")
> [@FastJ](#): > > I see you’re 19. Is she the first one you’ve fallen REALLY hard for? I think so, and about the knife in the chest thing ( I kinda laugh on the inside when i think about the two of them together since he has nothing on me) ---
**Author:** ![FastJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@FastJ](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/FastJ)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/17 "2009-04-24T02:21:39Z")
That’s good you can laugh about it. Still, it’s a tough thing when you KNOW you’re better for her than the other guy. ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/18 "2009-04-24T02:22:20Z")
DEon’t be afraid of the a314 pushing her away. You’ve already established a rapport. It may give you the dominant and powerful aura that enables you to lead the relationship. She’s keeping you on the string while she makes her decisions. High probability this will be based on who has the potential to be a good provider. I.E. capable and confident. ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/19 "2009-04-24T02:25:24Z")
the question i ask myself is do i like her for her, or do i like her because she was/is a challenge When i think quality wise she is lacking in some places, but they say love is blind… ---
**Author:** ![total1989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@total1989](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/total1989)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049/20 "2009-04-24T02:31:26Z")
> [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](#): > > DEon’t be afraid of the a314 pushing her away. You’ve already established a rapport. > > It may give you the dominant and powerful aura that enables you to lead the relationship. She’s keeping you on the string while she makes her decisions. High probability this will be based on who has the potential to be a good provider. I.E. capable and confident. If you read double your dating, the provider is the one who is on the string and is withheld sex. I showed her the adventurer before and she responds to it. Hence the point of going to NYC this saturday. It does take a little bit of effort to find something new to her, her family is fairly well off, penthouse in atlantic city on most weekends, atlantis in the bahamas, etc Not that I am strapped for cash (i get paid fairly well for a 19 year old), but it does take some creativity to get to the unfamilar adrenline pumping adventure. I am also trying to instill a fear of loss by not texting her, or texting her very little (just 5 txts to her and then something like, gotta drive ttyl). This other guy was also there when we were hooking up before and is super insecure. Just have to play my cards right… I know what I have to do, but idk if i can, emotions get in the way (most of my problem here), if i can just forget about my emotions this wouldve been a done deal a while ago [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girl-unsure-of-feelings-low-self-esteem/28049.md?page=2)