# Girlfriend jokes: it's poker or her, I think she's bluffing

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [July 7, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460 "2009-07-07T00:28:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Tommy369](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tommy369/32/754_2.png) [@Tommy369](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tommy369)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460/1 "2009-07-07T00:28:11Z")

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1. I’ve been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it’s either poker or her.

I think she’s bluffing.

1. I slept with my girlfriend’s younger sister. She found out and said, “You disgust me.” I said, “We never discussed you at all.”

2. I’ve just broke up with my girlfriend. “It’s not you,” I said. “It’s me: I hate you.”

3. My last girlfriend used to call my penis what I thought was a big powerful scary nickname. She was calling it a ’ Weapon Of Mass Destruction. 'Sounded good, but then I found out she was calling it that because she thought it was really hard to find.

4. My girlfriend just sang to me for the first time. She sang “You make me feel like a natural woman” It was nice, but it annoyed me that she’d put the iron down and stopped cooking to sing to me.

5. The Japanese have invented the perfect girlfriend robot.

It has 5 buttons.

1. Fuck,

2. Suck,

3. Cook,

4. Clean,

5. Off

6. I ran into my old girlfriend yesterday, and I backed up and ran into her again. I miss her sometimes.

7. Me and my girlfriend practice safe sex. She now only comes round when my wife’s at work.

8. For my birthday, my girlfriend somehow managed to wrap herself up in wrapping paper completely naked. Without questioning how she did it, I eagerly and enthusiastically peeled off all the paper to reveal what was inside. Upon looking at my fully unwrapped present, my response was, “Ohhh, I wanted a Bike.”

9. My girlfriend was screaming at me last night, that I never follow things through, I’m lazy and I bank on her forgiving me for everything I do.

I was going to buy her flowers and chocolates and take her out for a meal, but then I thought: fuck it, she’ll come round.

Here’s a tip for you:

When you start going out with someone, just after they go to sleep at night, put a nicotine patch on their arm. Then, just before they wake up in the morning, take it off again.

This way, if they ever leave you, they’ll get withdrawal symptoms, think it’s love, and come back.

😉

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**Author:** ![msselva](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/msselva/32/943_2.png) [@msselva](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/msselva)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460/2 "2009-07-07T01:23:05Z")

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X\_X

talk about tough love 😛

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**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 1:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460/3 "2009-07-07T01:58:21Z")

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Remember the difference between women and batteries-  
Batteries have a positive side.

The difference between a Dog bitching at the door and a woman bitching at the door?

The dog quits when you let it in.

True story-  
I was walking through a department store the other day and a guy and lady were looking at jewerly, she said “Oh, isn’t this one the cutest” he said “Oh, what about this one? It’s almost the same and on sale for half the price.”  
It was all I could do not to lean in smack him on the back of the head and say “Hey buddy, wrong answer… Excuse me miss, what’s your phone number?”  
but I smiled and walked on.

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**Author:** ![LTDshred](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ltdshred/32/1416_2.png) [@LTDshred](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LTDshred)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460/4 "2009-07-09T23:53:43Z")

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> [@Tommy369](#):
>
> 1. I’ve been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it’s either poker or her.
> 
> I think she’s bluffing.
> 
> 1. I slept with my girlfriend’s younger sister. She found out and said, “You disgust me.” I said, “We never discussed you at all.”
> 
> 2. I’ve just broke up with my girlfriend. “It’s not you,” I said. “It’s me: I hate you.”
> 
> 3. My last girlfriend used to call my penis what I thought was a big powerful scary nickname. She was calling it a ’ Weapon Of Mass Destruction. 'Sounded good, but then I found out she was calling it that because she thought it was really hard to find.
> 
> 4. My girlfriend just sang to me for the first time. She sang “You make me feel like a natural woman” It was nice, but it annoyed me that she’d put the iron down and stopped cooking to sing to me.
> 
> 5. The Japanese have invented the perfect girlfriend robot.
> 
> It has 5 buttons.
> 
> 1. Fuck,
> 
> 2. Suck,
> 
> 3. Cook,
> 
> 4. Clean,
> 
> 5. Off
> 
> 6. I ran into my old girlfriend yesterday, and I backed up and ran into her again. I miss her sometimes.
> 
> 7. Me and my girlfriend practice safe sex. She now only comes round when my wife’s at work.
> 
> 8. For my birthday, my girlfriend somehow managed to wrap herself up in wrapping paper completely naked. Without questioning how she did it, I eagerly and enthusiastically peeled off all the paper to reveal what was inside. Upon looking at my fully unwrapped present, my response was, “Ohhh, I wanted a Bike.”
> 
> 9. My girlfriend was screaming at me last night, that I never follow things through, I’m lazy and I bank on her forgiving me for everything I do.
> 
> I was going to buy her flowers and chocolates and take her out for a meal, but then I thought: fuck it, she’ll come round.
> 
> Here’s a tip for you:
> 
> When you start going out with someone, just after they go to sleep at night, put a nicotine patch on their arm. Then, just before they wake up in the morning, take it off again.
> 
> This way, if they ever leave you, they’ll get withdrawal symptoms, think it’s love, and come back.
> 
> 😉

Lol dude, ur so evil 😮

Wait, so u have a wife and sleep with a seperate girlfriend?

btw the nicotine patch idea is brilliant

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**Author:** ![djandarial](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/djandarial/32/1667_2.png) [@djandarial](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/djandarial)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 1:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460/5 "2009-07-10T01:51:59Z")

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I too like the patch idea LOL

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**Author:** ![rawr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9a28c/32.png) [@rawr](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/rawr)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/girlfriend-jokes-its-poker-or-her-i-think-shes-bluffing/30460/6 "2009-07-10T02:37:44Z")

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> [@Wolfy](#):
>
> Remember the difference between women and batteries-  
> Batteries have a positive side.
> 
> The difference between a Dog bitching at the door and a woman bitching at the door?
> 
> The dog quits when you let it in.

love the analogy! 🙂