# Good conversation starters on a date! **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 11, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976 "2010-11-11T21:47:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/1 "2010-11-11T21:47:47Z")
[Pheromones](https://a314.com/) work with you and work to enhance with what you bring to the table. Since we don’t expect pheromones to do everything what are questions that give can help break the ice on a date? ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/2 "2010-11-12T01:03:54Z")
I think it should depend on who you are with. Starting a conversation on a date is no different then starting one with anyone else. I observe them and discover something about them and bring it up then just let it flow from there. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/3 "2010-11-12T18:11:44Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > I think it should depend on who you are with. Starting a conversation on a date is no different then starting one with anyone else. I observe them and discover something about them and bring it up then just let it flow from there. > > Tisha To some extent I don’t agree. Even when you are shy it’s different from starting a conversation with some girl than a really cute guy who you liked who finally asked you out. I think it would probably be different for all the shy guys too but am not a shy guy so am just speculating. You are right it would be nice to let things flow and take it as it comes but sometimes persons plan things out in their hands kinda like to make sure they don’t say anything stupid or to remove the edge of how nervous they know they will be they plan certain things they are gonna say. Personally I can’t remember getting nervous on dates but there were those times when the guys were starting to bore me I really wish I though of some of these topics to stare the date in a different direction. 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Olfact\_Amorous](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/olfact_amorous/32/434_2.png) [@Olfact\_Amorous](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Olfact_Amorous)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/4 "2010-11-12T18:30:24Z")
I usually would poke around topic wise until I can find 1-2 two things that the person is passionate about. If shes a talkative type I’ll let her talk more and interject with recap points or infer further about a certain detail or perhaps how she felt. If shes more reserved I’ll still do the first step above but instead I’ll try to see her passion through my eyes and share something I love to do that may or may not be related to her passion(s) but at least to some degree makes us feel like being on cloud 9. Yes, I’m the boring listener type of dude although some girls do find something charming about it. If I’m really “at home” with a girl I’ll flirt more and initiate some touching. ---
**Author:** ![IAmLovely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@IAmLovely](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/IAmLovely)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/5 "2010-11-12T21:50:34Z")
Most of the time I don’t need to break the ice. I’m generally comfy around anyone, so if I absolutely have to break some ice, thats a sign that were just not compatible. I still voted for whats the weirdest thing about you. Most people wont tell you the truth but its a fun question 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2010, 11:39am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/6 "2010-11-13T11:39:58Z")
> [@kelsey](#): > > To some extent I don’t agree. Even when you are shy it’s different from starting a conversation with some girl than a really cute guy who you liked who finally asked you out. > > I think it would probably be different for all the shy guys too but am not a shy guy so am just speculating. > > You are right it would be nice to let things flow and take it as it comes but sometimes persons plan things out in their hands kinda like to make sure they don’t say anything stupid or to remove the edge of how nervous they know they will be they plan certain things they are gonna say. > > Personally I can’t remember getting nervous on dates but there were those times when the guys were starting to bore me I really wish I though of some of these topics to stare the date in a different direction. 😃😃 Dont get me wrong I am not saying not to think up things to talk about before the date or encounter I just feel to build actual rapport with someone those subjects will have to fit the person your talking with and will be different in every situation. One thing for nervous people to really reprogram in there thinking is that a person of interest is different then anyone else you talk to on a daily basis. When you separate them from your everyday people that fear that they are somehow different and will think your stupid is what brings on nervousness. This is not to say I dont get nervous. Sure I am just like everyone else but I have learned to talk my self out of the fear and just do it. I posted some coaching lessons for some members somewhere here in the forum with a step by step guide on how to start a convo with anyone and lead it anywhere. The same concept applies to dates really. On dates you can go more in depth though. > [@The Gift Of Gab](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-gift-of-gab/24413): > > First of all, thank you for your replies to my intro. I have received my first order of pheros: Ammo, Instant Shine, [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/), and togo’s of TUTH and a gift of Instant Honesty (thank you). I just ordered Mystery Method and plan to start reading it once I get it. I realize that pheros can only do so much. They may assist in the attraction department, but in the end it is still me that has to hold interest and conversation. I, unlike others, do not have the gift of gab. I find that after … > [@Hello PheroTalk; Here's my story \[insert enthusiasm here!\]](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-pherotalk-heres-my-story-insert-enthusiasm-here/26133): > > Hello everyone. My name is Brandon. I am a young man nearing 24 years (although I usually call myself old) male residing in Indiana, USA. This state is definitely far from my favourite, but oh well. Personally, I consider myself to be a man of few words, but I think telling you my entire story would be best so that you all know why, when, how I got here and what it is that I hope to accomplish (but of course overall, you know I’m trying to get a woman’s attention). It might be a bit long, b… There are a couple more examples around where I dont talk about donuts but I cant find them (snort) 😃 So hopefully you observed the person your about to go on a date with or strike up a convo with for a few minutes. Even on blind dates you can pump the person who set you up for some info. Then take note of a few of those things. Learn to pick up on keywords they use that can give you more subject matter to talk about. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/7 "2010-11-13T18:10:59Z")
I prefer just to go with the flow. Having to worry about what to say or not say kind of takes the excitement out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Olfact\_Amorous](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/olfact_amorous/32/434_2.png) [@Olfact\_Amorous](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Olfact_Amorous)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/8 "2010-11-13T18:18:11Z")
The one thing I wonder about is when is it okay for there to be a ebb in the conversation vs the flow. I’ve talked about this with someone and he tells me that he doesnt like it when people talk to simply talk. While I understand where hes coming from I tend to have this nagging sensation to keep a conversation “flowing” even if its forced. Its bad but I always feel like if the speech stops that theres something wrong between me and the girl. I like to flow like Silly says but there are a few definites that I dont mention because I’ve had enough of those “wtf are you talking about” looks for a lifetime 😮 ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/9 "2010-11-13T18:34:55Z")
It’s okay if the speech stops, as long as it’s not an “awkward silence” where someone feels forced to say something just for there to be noise. A companionable silence can say volumes more about the potential of a relationship, than forced conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/10 "2010-11-13T18:46:09Z")
Most of these are pretty awkward subjects to bring up as an icebreaker, except for the best and worst job, and even that would sound a bit rehearsed. What you want to avoid is making it feel like a job interview, because that just makes people nervous. You can’t find out if he is mr. Right or she is miss Right in just a few hours, nor do you have to be overly fearful of going on a second date with someone who is not compatible. Plus, if you want to find out what someone is really like, asking is not that effective. You can observe over time what character and values he has, by his actions and what he mentions casually. If you ask a guy about his sexual past when you hardly know him he’ll probably embellish the truth anyway. It is better to focus on putting the other person at ease and not on what you actually say. If the other person feels good, you will be at your most attractive. Just let the conversation come spontaneously and don’t worry about what you say. I myself talk to strangers a lot and it is mostly about nonsensical things in the first few minutes. If it was a guy I’d met at a friend’s birthday for example, I’d ask him how his day was, maybe refer to something that happened at the party or something he said on the phone. If you must plan something to say, then plan along these lines, so it does not look planned. Maybe something like this is you want lines: Hey, good to see you! _Shake hands or peck cheek_ Boy is it cold/hot/rainy today, but your smart to have brought your umbrella/scarf/fan. Wish I had!(Or some other mundane thing.) Did anything fun happen at Claire’s birthday/Joe’s BBQ after I left? _Let other person talk for a bit_ She baked an awesome cake/He sure knows how to grill a steak! What have you been up to today? _See if any emotional needs pop up, or there is something that elicits further questions, and adress:_ That is sweet you took your granny to lunch! Mine lives far away, but I’d love it if my cousin did that. _Touch hand or back or something_ So you do martial arts/swimming/dancing? How long have you been doing that? _Ice should be sufficiently broken and other person will ask you things._ If you are the guy or otherwise planning the date, it helps to plan something fun, like the zoo, or someplace you feel comfortable at, like your favorite restaurant where you know all the waiters. Or if you are shy but for example good at dancing you can take her out to dance. ---
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/good-conversation-starters-on-a-date/189976/11 "2010-11-16T20:53:44Z")
> [@Sillykitty](#): > > It’s okay if the speech stops, as long as it’s not an “awkward silence” where someone feels forced to say something just for there to be noise. > > A companionable silence can say volumes more about the potential of a relationship, than forced conversation. Hmmm, an awkward silence is not something I can enjoy with anyone. I think that most people have to feel a level of comfort with you for there to be silence and for no one to feel weird especially on a first date or when you are just starting to get to know the person. Conversation can sound forced too if you don’t know what to say and blurt things out. It’s not what you do but how you do it. I guess for us women we can always say it’s the men job to stimulate conversation or just sit there and look pretty. It’s cool if the guy can have a few topics in his head for awkward times he can smoothly put into the convo without making it look rehearsed or forced. All in all even us before we go out plan our outfits and probably plan what the date is gonna be like in our heads so I don’t think that things are that much spontaneous without planning. If you can plan one thing ahead of time to ensure you are covered why not conversation.