# Had one of my worst social experiences . . A-314 in a rave environment **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [February 11, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126 "2013-02-11T02:25:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Terpines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@Terpines](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Terpines)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/1 "2013-02-11T02:25:21Z")
Update - Part 2, new event - same venue, some of the same people from last time but a larger turnout (see my last thread for the results of last weeks) I’m just turning 21 in a couple weeks and I’ve been using A-314 for a couple years now (since I was 18) to much acclaim and great results. I usually wear it in the recording studio or during a performance, it does wonders for my networking and social engineering skills in this environment. It’s important for me as a performer to represent my brand of music effectively and professionally. After the success of last week I decided to go with A-314 again despite my initial reluctance the first time. It’s important to remember that I’m not particularly known through this area/rave scene and yet despite an almost complete lack of familiarity I was treated with a complete inverse of the effects from last week. I’ll start with the good . . . . the only person who showed me any types of feelings of endearment were the bartender . . a testament to the sense of smell, out of all the people there at this darkly lit underground after-hours venue she remembered me. This girl has a bit of a hard-shell personality. I was surprised that she remembered I had said I was turning 21 soon (I figured the after hours environment would negate any regulation but it seems to be a don’t ask don’t tell type of thing) . . Towards the end of the night, after already going to her for a few cups of water, I asked her if she had any cherries or lemons back there . . she didn’t so I asked for a juice and she gave me some orange juice for free. I smiled and tipped her. she had for juice At the time it was a bit heartwarming because she was calling me “babe” with a slight smile and a sweet tone every time . . I don’t even want to go back to a party thrown by this group of promoters but I am considering maybe trying my hand one more time with the A-314 just as a follow-up for the sake of science. While there maybe I could explore the depths of conversation with this lady. Now for the bad . . That same girl who I mentioned as being all over me in my last thread came up to a group of people who were talking to me (approaching my path directly but standing in front of me), she gave me a quick condescending smirk after making eye contact me. ^^last week she was saying how seriously she felt we needed to hang out sometime Upon leaving the down stairs dance floor for the second time (I had been up there earlier to hang with people and smoke, exchange greetings, etc.), from that point it just seemed like some people were being overtly condescending towards me. I sat down across from the seats (about 2 feet in front of me and over the stairs leading to the dance floor). I was texting my friend to help get her to the venue and I leaned over to ask the people in front me what the address to the building was. He just happened to be one of the people throwing the event (usually a position of “political” nature where your patrons are respected, the nature of these events does produce a community-like feel) . . keep in mind he is mid-conversation with a girl but I did politely say “excuse me” before asking them what the address was. So he said some cliche jargon that I’ve actually heard said before to other at other events. He instantly took to a disrespectful tone and said “don’t call the cops or nothing dude” and then gave me a fake address with a similar sounding name . . needless to say in any other type of environment I would of handled this situation differently. Maybe it was the look on my face (kinda like . . a wtf? face) but he instantly put his head down and started to look down at some other thing he was doing (I think playing with some lights that are meant to go in gloves) and without a skip in the beat, the girl continues where he left off “Yahh, don’t call the cops. You look way out of place” (despite me being dressed to the theme of the event) After the initial freeze up from the blatant disrespect I caught my thoughts and asked the girl “Do you know me…Are you trying to to find a way to talk to me?” she held back a slight smile and said “I’m just kidding” Later in the night, towards the end of the event I saw someone who gave me a kandi bracelet last week (customary tradition through rave culture) . . he is another person involved with throwing the event. He asked if I was coming back next week and I was honest with him and told him that I didn’t like the way I was talked to by someone who’s involved with throwing the event and I asked him what that was about. Apparently it was over something as trivial as posting a link to my song on the Facebook event page prior to the event rather than after the event. To me my music is what I’m all about and that’s what I wanted to share with the people who I may of came across from the event page (that’s how these events go down) The worst part about this is I live by myself in a new area, I’ve just broken up with my girlfriend who’s an active raver (with an apparent reputation for craziness, definitely met me with a false pretense) I really feel like I have no one to talk to about this and the field of work I’m in (music - recording artists and performing act of non-rave music) it really sucks to just have people instantly turned off towards you before your first word. I have a lot of experience with A-314 but I’m considering parting ways with it. It’s done great things for me but I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I’ve always been such a positive and polite person towards people, I thought much of this was very unwarranted. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/2 "2013-02-11T03:12:44Z")
It always perplexes me when A314 users are surprised when they get challenged wearing the product. A314 gives off a strong leader alpha vibe. Being challenged by other alphas is part of being an alpha. Its natural that others strong personalities in the room are going to test you. Thats why A314 can be tough for the more shy or laid back person. You have to follow through and respond to those challenges like a natural Alpha would. Notice how when you confronted the girl like a natural alpha would when she made that remark she backed down a bit and said just kidding. The A314 vibe is something you need to be prepared to back up. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![monesmadedoit](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/monesmadedoit/32/325_2.png) [@monesmadedoit](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/monesmadedoit)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 7:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/3 "2013-02-11T07:02:41Z")
A second nomination. The thing about Alpha is it kind of expects that people will cooperate, but assumes you could live without their cooperation, as You are the leader. It suggests you would tell or show people what to do rather than ask. However, if you’re needing to make friends, network, etc., this situation almost demands a very social vibe. It isn’t very sexual or masculine, bit it isn’t threatening to younger women or less confident men. After all, you really may need the willing aid of those who are just a little scared of you. It seems almost like you want just straight IShine or something and not any androstenone, heavy androsterone or anything “heavy” at all. Now, I’m seeing that P75 + [P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/) is almost so social enough that it has plenty of respect but little harshness to it–less so still with some IShine. And, despite the very Beta nature of using 74 or 74 + Shine without any sexual, you might have almost wanted that for this situation. Or, you might have applied your NONE or 75 to the wrist, ready to wash it off if a weird negative vibe soaks through. I kind of think that A314 on a young guy in a rave sent a “40-year old dad just walked in, and the party’s over” vibe. Shine, 74 and heavy ANOL ( IO ) have way more party to them. “I don’t even want to go back to a party thrown by this group of promoters but I am considering maybe trying my hand one more time with the A-314 just as a follow-up for the sake of science.” Why blow the deal to prove a point? Just go social and play it safe. You’ll probably get good hits. The question is, Do you want the serious and more mature aspect of an eRrone product like A-314? Do you want to seem like the only 35-year old in a room full of college freshmen? Maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![Terpines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@Terpines](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Terpines)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/4 "2013-02-11T14:59:29Z")
> [@monesmadedoit](#): > > A second nomination. The thing about Alpha is it kind of expects that people will cooperate, but assumes you could live without their cooperation, as You are the leader. It suggests you would tell or show people what to do rather than ask. However, if you’re needing to make friends, network, etc., this situation almost demands a very social vibe. It isn’t very sexual or masculine, bit it isn’t threatening to younger women or less confident men. After all, you really may need the willing aid of those who are just a little scared of you. > > It seems almost like you want just straight IShine or something and not any androstenone, heavy androsterone or anything “heavy” at all. Now, I’m seeing that P75 + P74 is almost so social enough that it has plenty of respect but little harshness to it–less so still with some IShine. And, despite the very Beta nature of using 74 or 74 + Shine without any sexual, you might have almost wanted that for this situation. Or, you might have applied your NONE or 75 to the wrist, ready to wash it off if a weird negative vibe soaks through. I kind of think that A314 on a young guy in a rave sent a “40-year old dad just walked in, and the party’s over” vibe. Shine, 74 and heavy ANOL ( IO ) have way more party to them. > > “I don’t even want to go back to a party thrown by this group of promoters but I am considering maybe trying my hand one more time with the A-314 just as a follow-up for the sake of science.” Why blow the deal to prove a point? Just go social and play it safe. You’ll probably get good hits. The question is, Do you want the serious and more mature aspect of an eRrone product like A-314? Do you want to seem like the only 35-year old in a room full of college freshmen? Maybe not. I don’t have a socials anymore, the closest I got was a mix I made before moving out to the west coast (couldn’t carry them all seperately, it contains [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/), Instant Shine . . and a small amount of copulins (yikes) And it’s not so much to prove a point but there’s definitely other events available to me that are thrown by other people. I just feel it would be best to be consistent and work my through this just for the experience of dealing with it. Plus it might possibly be the only thing that has the bartender treating me with an extra smile and I wanna hang with her sometime. ---
**Author:** ![MontyCello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@MontyCello](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MontyCello)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/5 "2013-02-11T15:06:02Z")
yeah dude, i think you just “broke frame” - you can _smell_ alpha, but if you don’t step into the alpha frame, or let yourself get thrown by small dramas or shit tests - well, that belies the smell and will invite condescension and shit talk (like “posuer”). (i go to parties too, def go with [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) for raves, A314 is better for when u want to be “serious” or if u are the promoter or something.) ---
**Author:** ![Terpines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@Terpines](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Terpines)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/6 "2013-02-11T15:12:17Z")
> [@MontyCello](#): > > yeah dude, i think you just “broke frame” - you can _smell_ alpha, but if you don’t step into the alpha frame, or let yourself get thrown by small dramas or shit tests - well, that belies the smell and will invite condescension and shit talk (like “posuer”). > > (i go to parties too, def go with Instant Shine for raves, A314 is better for when u want to be “serious” or if u are the promoter or something.) What would of been the appropriate response to this? I’d hate to go overboard but I felt very disrespected ---
**Author:** ![MontyCello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@MontyCello](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MontyCello)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/7 "2013-02-11T15:23:38Z")
honestly man, i think you’re just in the down cycle after a g/f thing… there’s a “depression” that can be either mild (don’t care much) or severe (broken heart) - this is an evolutionary by-product of tribal monkey life - get rejected, get depressed, say “fuck this”, improve self, get new girl. as far as response goes - well, you’re in a music scene and there’s going to be bullshit drama, esp on FB… in this case i think you just learned some protocol, my advice is to alpha up and say something like “hey man, my bad on that - didn’t think it was a prob, but how can we make this better?” see, alpha means “taking responsibility” even more than it means “not taking shit”… any asshole can get into an argument, it doesn’t take inner strength to fight with idiots… it takes inner strength _not_ to fight with idiots, at least until you _have_ to. sometimes that means seeing things from a perspective that isn’t your own, so that you can ultimately achieve what you want from your journey, instead of fighting over how to handle the speed bumps (hint : go over them). ---
**Author:** ![MontyCello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@MontyCello](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MontyCello)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/8 "2013-02-11T15:25:45Z")
by the way, i think “are you trying to find a way to talk to me” was a _great_ answer to “don’t call the cops”. ---
**Author:** ![Terpines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@Terpines](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Terpines)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/had-one-of-my-worst-social-experiences-a-314-in-a-rave-environment/58126/9 "2013-02-11T15:48:34Z")
> [@MontyCello](#): > > honestly man, i think you’re just in the down cycle after a g/f thing… there’s a “depression” that can be either mild (don’t care much) or severe (broken heart) - this is an evolutionary by-product of tribal monkey life - get rejected, get depressed, say “fuck this”, improve self, get new girl. > > as far as response goes - well, you’re in a music scene and there’s going to be bullshit drama, esp on FB… in this case i think you just learned some protocol, my advice is to alpha up and say something like “hey man, my bad on that - didn’t think it was a prob, but how can we make this better?” > > see, alpha means “taking responsibility” even more than it means “not taking shit”… any asshole can get into an argument, it doesn’t take inner strength to fight with idiots… it takes inner strength _not_ to fight with idiots, at least until you _have_ to. > > sometimes that means seeing things from a perspective that isn’t your own, so that you can ultimately achieve what you want from your journey, instead of fighting over how to handle the speed bumps (hint : go over them). Solid advice and I appreciate it a lot. This has always been a very helpful community. > [@MontyCello](#): > > by the way, i think “are you trying to find a way to talk to me” was a _great_ answer to “don’t call the cops”. I’m usually a much better communicator but at that point, I was so caught off guard that I just said the first thing that came to mind. For some reason my tone was naturally condescending at the point despite my intentions, I attribute that to the element of surprise though. I was caught between 😕 and 😮 I guess it’s not as bad as I had originally been looking at it, at least I have the ability to feel something and someone thought of me enough to take the time out of their day to wait for their first opportunity to insult me. She immediately picked up where he left off and if she hadn’t it’s very likely the next thing I said would’ve resulted in violence. I just have no experience with being talked to like that, I guess that’s a blessing.