# Hah! 31 sentences from patient charts **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [October 31, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330 "2007-10-31T17:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/1 "2007-10-31T17:38:48Z")
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8. The patient refused autopsy. 9. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a forty pound weight gain in the past 3 days. 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 14. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up. 15. She is numb from her toes down. 16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 17. The skin was moist and dry. 18. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 19. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 24. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 27. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. I love #26, with the implied suggestion that having … being … an asshole is a valuable attribute in some professions. And of course, #24 … it’s now my sig line in personals forum, heh! ---
**Author:** ![mockingbird](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mockingbird/32/1790_2.png) [@mockingbird](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/2 "2007-11-01T00:27:31Z")
They are really funny!!! thx for posting them ---
**Author:** ![justonce](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/justonce/32/1316_2.png) [@justonce](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/justonce)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/3 "2008-02-22T22:21:07Z")
This is definitely a late response but I had to thank you. I see this kind of thing all of the time, as I am a medical transcriptionist working at home. This is something my fellow cyberspace co-workers will definitely enjoy. Many of us have condescending doctors who love to spell things out for us … incorrectly! 🙄 So we get a big charge out of this kind of stuff. I need to get out more. justonce ---
**Author:** ![phernoob](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phernoob/32/180_2.png) [@phernoob](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phernoob)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 2:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/4 "2008-02-26T14:09:02Z")
LOL - Do doctors know how funny they are? I read medical reports almost every day - and sometimes LOL. Which can be embarrassing - because I work for a shrink! Justonce - you are right on about the condescending doctors - spelling very slowly. “That’s Smith, S m i t h.” ---
**Author:** ![justonce](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/justonce/32/1316_2.png) [@justonce](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/justonce)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 2:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/5 "2008-02-26T14:28:16Z")
> [@](#): > > you are right on about the condescending doctors - spelling > very slowly. “That’s Smith, S m i t h.” Don’t you just love it? I had one spell out pen one time. P-E-N. I have come to the conclusion that they only spell the things they know how to. Then you have a patient name such as “Shantaquintamarel Smith and they spell Smith, S-M-I-T-H” Another one of my docs actually spells out the name of another doctor in the same clinic. Does he not realize after 3 years I am the transcriptionist for their entire clinic? 😮 Another thing he does is spell out cc docs. If the cc doc’s name is in the report 10 times he will spell it 10 times, even if it is located in two sentences in a row! Yesterday, I forwarded these on to my company, as they have just started publishing some in our monthly newsletter, although I could keep them filled up with these just from own daily experiences. Already this morning on a physical exam - “Respiratory: Negative. No respiratory symptoms.” I could go on for days on this subject. No. Make that years. Quite entertaining! 😃 justonce PS - My other account is a shrink as well! Makes for an interesting day doesn’t it? LOL. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmin](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jasmin/32/287_2.png) [@Jasmin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Jasmin)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/6 "2008-02-26T18:20:24Z")
Hahahaha… this is adorable. Great laugh!! ---
**Author:** ![phernoob](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phernoob/32/180_2.png) [@phernoob](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phernoob)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/7 "2008-03-01T02:07:40Z")
LOL! Work is one place I don’t wear the “mones” - all we have are brain injured patients! Can you imagine? ---
**Author:** ![discorose](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/discorose/32/882_2.png) [@discorose](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/discorose)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 2:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hah-31-sentences-from-patient-charts/6330/8 "2008-03-01T02:29:43Z")
lol lol you are soooo funny