One of the biggest problems guys and gals have when they are in a social situation is going from completely unknown to any semblance of even worth talking to in a lot of cases. There are a lot of ways to get past that. That’s why there are all these different “styles” of pickup.
I notice that all these Master PUA guys seem to be a bit two-faced. In their advertising, they say one thing, and then if you call them on it they say another. Or they try to paint it as being something it’s not when they’re in the hot seat.
The problem is, “How to meet women” doesn’t make they guys willing to pay for anything, and “how to get her into bed in 2.5 seconds” doesn’t make any woman feel like she can trust any man ever again.
These guys are, in my opinion, damaging men in the long run by not only publicizing the techniques (TV shows, interviews, etc.) they use, but by saying one thing to men and another to women. The result is that women are concluding that pickup is more of a threat, and the pyramid scheme problem pops up: if I buy RJ’s “stuff” today and spend two or three months trying it out… how many of these women are going to have seen or heard about it and then pull what I call a “bear trap”, where they see what they have identified as a threat and then simply shut down completely?
You can’t have it both ways, guys. You are either learning to meet women, or you’re learning to get them into bed asap. Unfortunately, the smart women are going to be the ones who pick up on this and it won’t work anymore. And then where will you be?
The solution, in my opinion, is to learn a balanced approach. First off, you need to be in it for the right reasons. Just bedding every woman you want isn’t it, unless she’s also just looking for a fling. You can’t go out there and manipulate women to use them for sex and expect good things to happen. Sure, you might get a piece, and she might fall for you, but what happens in the long run? We all become a bunch of men who are even more threatening to women because they now have to “defend against” this “new threat”?
Next, you have to balance your approach between being the pig she knows you are, you dirty sex-obsessed male, and genuinely wanting to talk to her as a person. Personally, I have the motto “no expectations”. With no expectations, there is no reason to try to manipulate her into a direction she is not asking me to take her, and no hard feelings if she doesn’t want to talk. Sure, you may want to bed her. But “sniping” for it only helps perpetuate the battle of the sexes, I think. Have a willingness to appreciate her as more than a piece of meat if she can prove to you that she is more than just looks. This is a person you’re dealing with.
Also… guys, be more picky. Stop sleeping with any female who will let you in. This only destroys your self respect, self esteem and self image. Set your standards to at least “average” looks. And then, demand that she be worth something more than just what sex organs she has, or what amount of money she has, or who she knows.
In other words… be selective. They sure as hell are! And it’s because they are, as a whole, that they can be. That’s the power of unity. If we men would stop with the desperation and letting the wrong head drag us around half the time, we would have this power of leverage as a group too!
Women as a whole, in my experience, actually prefer men who are selective, because it means that the next woman who comes along won’t just “fall on his penis by accident”. Whoops. Same reason men want a woman to be at least some sort of challenge to “get”. Even if they don’t always wan to admit it. Guys, honestly, who would you choose to date or marry? Option A, a woman who was willing to jump your bones on sight, just because you happened to be male, or Option B, a woman who made you show her that you were worth her time? I’d bet every guy who has any sense of self awareness and common sense would choose Option B, because he doesn’t want his wife to be easy for other men to “get”. Guys need to know they can respect and be proud of their chosen female before they will consider investing themselves in her long term.
So what does it say about a man who is skilled at, and actively trying to get women into bed in 4-8 hours? It says to me that he’s not interested in anything else. And the typical result of that is that she gets tossed aside, and then she is hurt, and she becomes jaded and the Battle of the Sexes rages on. She is likely to turn around and hurt the next guy because she got hurt, and then he will do the same, and it’s as if we are passing mistreatment of each other this back and forth like some sort of sexless venereal disease.
Not only that, but it is not good for a man to be doing things like that for his own emotional health. Treating sex like a 2 cent toy (or nothing but a business transaction) is self destructive. How can it be otherwise, when it speaks directly to what the person thinks of themselves? Sex may not mean the same thing to every man or woman, but you can bet that a person’s genuine sense of self worth will be directly tied into how easy it is to get to their gamete cells.
It has to be balanced. Pickup/breaking the ice/meeting people is a good skill to have because society has screwed us royally on socializing and meeting each other. But using it to plow through her and all the rest just for sexual conquests is bad, guys… it only hurts you and your brethren in the long run. And that says nothing to what it does to the ladies.
Now that I have dumped my brain in my late night rant… not sure if I’m even on topic… lol I’d like some opinions and responses from both sexes.
