# Hello---Im hopeless **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [January 7, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323 "2010-01-07T23:49:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bristowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@bristowboy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bristowboy)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/1 "2010-01-07T23:49:23Z")
Well here is my attempt to tell you all about my life. I am 25, a guy, and I live in Southern Indiana. And life is seeming to be utterly hopeless at this point. When I was young, my parents never let me do anything. They kept me out of school, I couldnt hang out with friends, nothing. I guess they thought that they were protecting me or something like that. Well as I got older, and started to experience a little more, I found out that my “normal” was considered ODD to everyone else out there. I was pretty much forced into public school when I hit 9th grade, and EVERYONE hated me. I was quiet, shy, had no friends at all, and literally the whole 9th grade wanted to beat me up for some odd reason. I was forced to quit school. I had to go to therapy when I was 20 for about a year, and after that, things began getting better. But still, I am treated like a nobody. I would love to have a little bit of respect from people around me, and I believe that some of the stuff on this site could help me with that. And some other things. When I was 10 or 11, I met my first girlfriend. we were a couple for 11 months before we drifted apart. At that age I was too young to worry about things lol. I went through my teenage years and only had 1 girlfriend. It only lasted 4 days! She cheated on me with MY BROTHER. I broke it off with her as soon as I found out. So THEN I was interested in her sister. We were talking and all for awhile. I was just about to ask her out when, MY BROTHER started talking to her and eventually took her away from me. I was kind of pissed at my brother. He must have somethng that I dont. Well that was almost 10 years ago. I have been talking to another girl for about 2 years now. We became best friends, and I ended up falling in love with her. She began showing similar feelings towards me too! ah the feeling of love. so nice! But guess who decided to start talking to her just when things began getting good. MY EFFING BROTHER! I asked him time after time NOT to talk to her. But he wouldnt listen to me at all. Before long, I could feel and see her begining to drift away from me. And now, shes gone. MY BROTHER took away the first girl I actually loved. I have to get something done about my brother! He has something I dont have, and he keeps ripping my heart out. My self esteem is 0 right now, and I just dont know what to do. Im confused right now as I write this. I know these pheremones arent a cure for anything. But I do know that they CAN boost a person’s self esteem and help them make new friends, meet new people, help gain respect, and countless other things. Im running out of options, and I need to try this. Also, the girl I love, she still has a lot of physical contact with me (hugging, hitting, wrestling, sitting by, etc).The other night I even spent the night at her house (we slept in the same bed)… I would think that some of the pheremones on here could influence her subliminally somehow. I mean I dont expect to brainwash her or anything with them, but I would love to try a few things. I dont know if rhis is worth a free $25 gift certificate, $50 certificate, or whatever, all I know is that life totally sucks right now and I need help with things. ---
**Author:** ![jessejester](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jessejester/32/1683_2.png) [@jessejester](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jessejester)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/2 "2010-01-08T00:03:01Z")
Hi there. Welcome to the forum. First off, great intro, but im sorry to hear about your situation. For confidence I would recommend the comination of AMMO (when its back) and Instant shine. Together they are an awesome confidence builder. If you are looking for social help, Intant openess, instant honesty and Instant shine are all social heavy hitters. You will be surprised how great they work. How did you find the forum? its always good to hear how people come across the comminity. There are alot of great people here so feel free to ask questions. I look forward to hearing more from you. Again Welcome. ---
**Author:** ![bristowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@bristowboy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bristowboy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/3 "2010-01-08T00:07:55Z")
I found it through google. Ive known about pheremones for awhile, but I didnt know where to go. And Ive had a lot of questions about them too, but never could find the answers that I was looking for. The forum here is amazing! It boosts my confidence itself to a degree. I would love to try the ones you said. They have to be better than nothing at all! ---
**Author:** ![Maidenfan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Maidenfan01](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Maidenfan01)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/4 "2010-01-08T00:41:51Z")
IG was a huge confidence booster for me. I lost the ability to get self-effects from it now, but it definitely helped me a few times. [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) is also a great product as Jesse said. Puts you in a great mood, however some users find it takes alot of sprays to get it to work, so I recommend 2x strength for that product. I feel really bad for you and your situation. I think the best thing you might be able to do is be direct with the girl and your brother. I wish I could offer some good advice, but I do not know the details of the situation. Good luck and I hope you work through it! ---
**Author:** ![jakeable83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f1d935/32.png) [@jakeable83](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jakeable83)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/5 "2010-01-08T01:30:42Z")
Hey hey welcome to the forum! I have been in a similar place myself when I was in middle school (and even sometimes get a little self doubt every now and again). I would like to suggest [Instant Jerk](https://a314.com/product/instant-jerk/)… don’t get thrown by the name it doesn’t turn you into a jerk… for me I get a huge boost of confidence, not only do I feel great I care less what others thing of me… Its a very empowering feeling, buffered with some socials like IO or IH I think is a great starting point. Ammo would be another great product however they don’t have any in stock at the moment. From what you posted it looks as if this girl is giving you a lot of IOI’s but girls don’t wait around forever she may be waiting for you to take things to the next level. EDIT i forgot to mention to be careful to not OD on IJ when you are around her ---
**Author:** ![Snoopyace](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/snoopyace/32/1727_2.png) [@Snoopyace](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Snoopyace)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/6 "2010-01-08T01:46:35Z")
I would have to second that [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/) suggestion. It worked VERY well for me when I was first starting with pheros to give me a definite confidence boost. It also affected others in that they saw me as more than a door mat. With the phero assistance and a lot of consistant focus I’ve managed to seriously turn my life around in the year I’ve been here. It sounds like your brother thinks he needs to be in competition with you (ie one up you on everything). Just a suggestion but I’d do everything I can to distance myself from him. I had a ‘friend’ like that in high school and it wasn’t fun. ---
**Author:** ![bristowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@bristowboy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bristowboy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/7 "2010-01-13T03:43:36Z")
thank you all for the replies. Im still wondering what to do and what to buy if I do buy.. ---
**Author:** ![nobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90ced4/32.png) [@nobrain](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nobrain)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/8 "2010-01-13T14:12:09Z")
> [@bristowboy](#): > > Well here is my attempt to tell you all about my life. > > I am 25, a guy, and I live in Southern Indiana. And life is seeming to be utterly hopeless at this point. > > When I was young, my parents never let me do anything. They kept me out of school, I couldnt hang out with friends, nothing. I guess they thought that they were protecting me or something like that. Well as I got older, and started to experience a little more, I found out that my “normal” was considered ODD to everyone else out there. I was pretty much forced into public school when I hit 9th grade, and EVERYONE hated me. I was quiet, shy, had no friends at all, and literally the whole 9th grade wanted to beat me up for some odd reason. I was forced to quit school. I had to go to therapy when I was 20 for about a year, and after that, things began getting better. But still, I am treated like a nobody. I would love to have a little bit of respect from people around me, and I believe that some of the stuff on this site could help me with that. And some other things. > > When I was 10 or 11, I met my first girlfriend. we were a couple for 11 months before we drifted apart. At that age I was too young to worry about things lol. I went through my teenage years and only had 1 girlfriend. It only lasted 4 days! She cheated on me with MY BROTHER. I broke it off with her as soon as I found out. So THEN I was interested in her sister. We were talking and all for awhile. I was just about to ask her out when, MY BROTHER started talking to her and eventually took her away from me. I was kind of pissed at my brother. He must have somethng that I dont. Well that was almost 10 years ago. > > I have been talking to another girl for about 2 years now. We became best friends, and I ended up falling in love with her. She began showing similar feelings towards me too! ah the feeling of love. so nice! But guess who decided to start talking to her just when things began getting good. MY EFFING BROTHER! I asked him time after time NOT to talk to her. But he wouldnt listen to me at all. Before long, I could feel and see her begining to drift away from me. And now, shes gone. MY BROTHER took away the first girl I actually loved. > > I have to get something done about my brother! He has something I dont have, and he keeps ripping my heart out. My self esteem is 0 right now, and I just dont know what to do. Im confused right now as I write this. > > I know these pheremones arent a cure for anything. But I do know that they CAN boost a person’s self esteem and help them make new friends, meet new people, help gain respect, and countless other things. Im running out of options, and I need to try this. > > Also, the girl I love, she still has a lot of physical contact with me (hugging, hitting, wrestling, sitting by, etc).The other night I even spent the night at her house (we slept in the same bed)… I would think that some of the pheremones on here could influence her subliminally somehow. I mean I dont expect to brainwash her or anything with them, but I would love to try a few things. I dont know if rhis is worth a free $25 gift certificate, $50 certificate, or whatever, all I know is that life totally sucks right now and I need help with things. I am so sorry to hear about your life struggles. Hang in there man, things will get better. Life is AMAZING! Don’t worry about your brother; pity him. Listen, your brother may seem the have the better deal now but life is a marathon, not a sprint. His actions speak volumes about his character. Isn’t is SAD that someone acts the way he does. The fact is you have something your brother doesn’t have - character. Granted I have heard one side of a story, but it sounds like you are the winner in the duo. I would recommend you stop placing hopes in [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) or anything else external. If you are in love with this girl, love her. Love means that you put her first… If you love for her means “I want her now!” then chances are you might be confusing infatuation with love. Free yourself from the concerns of intimacy with her. Support her as you are, as a friend. Be the BEST friend you can be to her – and a best friend does not have self-serving intentions. Don’t give up – if you are in love you fight for it. However, you have to be patient and have confidence that your sincerity will win the day. And, it WILL. For now, be her friend. Be there when she needs a talk, needs to cuddle, etc. Be careful not to blur the friendship lines until you have agreed through other communication to go down and intimate path. A moment of intimacy without solid foundation will just cause you more confusion and depression. Be a freind, free yourself from the concerns of taking it further, and watch what happens. I think you will be amazed. You sound like a great guy who has overcome much… Have faith in yourself! Life is a marathon it is not where you are now but where you finish that counts. I have great confidence (form what I have read) that you will stand strong in the winners circle. ---
**Author:** ![bristowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@bristowboy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bristowboy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/9 "2010-01-13T14:29:04Z")
> [@nobrain](#): > > I am so sorry to hear about your life struggles. Hang in there man, things will get better. Life is AMAZING! > > Don’t worry about your brother; pity him. Listen, your brother may seem the have the better deal now but life is a marathon, not a sprint. His actions speak volumes about his character. Isn’t is SAD that someone acts the way he does. > > The fact is you have something your brother doesn’t have - character. Granted I have heard one side of a story, but it sounds like you are the winner in the duo. > > I would recommend you stop placing hopes in pheromones or anything else external. If you are in love with this girl, love her. Love means that you put her first… If you love for her means “I want her now!” then chances are you might be confusing infatuation with love. > > Free yourself from the concerns of intimacy with her. Support her as you are, as a friend. Be the BEST friend you can be to her – and a best friend does not have self-serving intentions. > > Don’t give up – if you are in love you fight for it. However, you have to be patient and have confidence that your sincerity will win the day. And, it WILL. > > For now, be her friend. Be there when she needs a talk, needs to cuddle, etc. Be careful not to blur the friendship lines until you have agreed through other communication to go down and intimate path. A moment of intimacy without solid foundation will just cause you more confusion and depression. Be a freind, free yourself from the concerns of taking it further, and watch what happens. I think you will be amazed. You sound like a great guy who has overcome much… Have faith in yourself! > > Life is a marathon it is not where you are now but where you finish that counts. I have great confidence (form what I have read) that you will stand strong in the winners circle. wow thats a good reply. I really like it. Thank you very much for that =]… I think I will print this one off so I can read it whenever I need to. ---
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/10 "2010-01-13T22:03:59Z")
Hello and welcome to PheroTalk. I am so happy you were able to discover this most amazing community. We consider each other like family here and are totally committed to helping each other out. There are so many great people here and now another too 🙂. I will be issuing your GC in just a short while to your email. I would love to be able to personally respond to every new user signing on, but because I want to ensure you get the GC in time I can only reply with this message at this time. I’m sure you are anxious to get started, just like the rest of us were too 🙂. Its cool! Of course Steve is available to answer any question you might have regarding mones. Please call our hot-line and select extension one and Steve will be able to consult you one on one. Welcome to the forum. ---
**Author:** ![mikotorocks714](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mikotorocks714/32/1509_2.png) [@mikotorocks714](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mikotorocks714)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/11 "2010-01-13T22:12:00Z")
I suggest you not put all of your hopes on the pheromones, the pheromones are only a small part of a road to recovery. I suggest perhaps going back to therapy and doing stuff that revolves around self help and confidence boosting be it by therapy or any other means. Pheromones do help to a certain degree, but your situation sounds like it needs a little bit more professional help along with self help. Good luck and don’t give up! ---
**Author:** ![bristowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@bristowboy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bristowboy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/12 "2010-01-14T15:54:35Z")
> [@mikotorocks714](#): > > I suggest you not put all of your hopes on the pheromones, the pheromones are only a small part of a road to recovery. I suggest perhaps going back to therapy and doing stuff that revolves around self help and confidence boosting be it by therapy or any other means. Pheromones do help to a certain degree, but your situation sounds like it needs a little bit more professional help along with self help. > > Good luck and don’t give up! thats what Im planning on doing. I want help here, help there, all in all I wanna change my life for the better. Its gonna take some work. ---
**Author:** ![nobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90ced4/32.png) [@nobrain](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nobrain)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hello-im-hopeless/35323/13 "2010-01-14T16:28:37Z")
> [@bristowboy](#): > > thats what Im planning on doing. I want help here, help there, all in all I wanna change my life for the better. Its gonna take some work. This is going to sound weird, but the easiest thing you can do to improve your life is to put your needs second to the needs of those around you. Try it, it works amazingly! Every time there is an internal conflict between what you fell you need and what someone else needs – choose them. Obviously there are boundaries to that, but they become obvious. With your girl FRIEND, extend yourself. Ask yourself each day, what can I do to make today even better for HER. Even with your brother, ask yourself each day what can you do to make HIS day better. Do this with everyone in your life. Once you get in the habit of ignoring your wants, you will find it is very freeing. It is easy for us to get into the path of wants=joys. Then, whenever you are not getting what you want (and this can be as simple as ‘I don’t want to walk the dog right now’) your life encounters a negative… However, if your goal is to serve the needs of others you will find yourself much happier. Remember, you’re not trying to make people happy here (or happy with you). You are trying to put the needs of others first. Their happiness might likely be a side effect… But YOUR happiness will be the true result. It sounds crazy, but it WORKS. Try it for a week, you will have to make a conscious effort. See if you feel down that you are never putting your needs first or if you feel uplifted in an amazing way. I agree with counseling, but it is a tricky thing. It is a good thing in the right situation, but sometimes it can just further the “HELP ME” drive. Dig you deeper in the consumption of helping yourself. Don’t try to help yourself. Help others first and ferociously and see what happens. Report back here once/if you do. 🙂