# Help a lady out? Dating Tips Please **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [September 8, 2008, 4:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047 "2008-09-08T04:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![copycat](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/copycat/32/896_2.png) [@copycat](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/copycat)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/61 "2008-09-16T19:05:44Z")
> [@renny](#): > > Salmon are flashy, handsome, noisy and single minded. They are fond of parties and public displays of affection. They have a live fast and die young mentality. They are easy to find because they tend to congregate in the same places year after year. They can be caught using just about any brightly colored brand name lure and a fast hook set. > > Catfish are quiet sometimes scary fish that are hard to get to know. Whiskered and often pot bellied they are not “pretty” in the classic sense. They are, however, fiercely loyal to their homes, mates and offspring. You’ll usually find them when you least expect it as they are often hidden in plain sight. You’ll need something real to catch one as they will only strike the artificial stuff when they are desperate. Patience is key. Jeesh, Renny, you out-clevered me! ---
**Author:** ![wilks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@wilks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/wilks)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/62 "2008-09-17T06:28:18Z")
> [@Warren](#): > > **Men are simple** > > Man’s Needs: > > 1. Unconditional acceptance. > > 2. True friend and confidant. > > 3. Respect. > > 4. Great sex. > > Woman’s needs: > > 1. To be heard (opinions valaidated by a man). > > 2. Emotional support and stability. > > 3. Romance. > > 4. To show off her good catch. I’m sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree here. If this were true, I wouldn’t have been dumped at 28 by a girl I was inches away from proposing to. I’m also FAR from a simple man. To further explain, there are men that trend towards female behaviors and females that trend towards male behaviors. The catfish/salmon analogy was cute, but it’s an extreme. There are a LOT of fish that are in between. The idea that men change their expectations as they age is another absolute that will fail you. I know plenty of 40 year old men that are just looking for the next piece of young meat to cross their path. These examples are all good bases for average people, but people that don’t fit them will have trouble conforming to them, and have more trouble finding good fits in the opposite molding. It sounds like you don’t fit the base mold, so don’t try to find a guy that fits the equation. Copycat, what you have to decide first is what you want. Unless I missed it, tell us the type of man you want to lure in, and I can probably help. I’m one of the best people readers you’ll ever meet. I tend to falter on initial meetings, but I can really get to the core of people. ---
**Author:** ![wilks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@wilks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/wilks)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/63 "2008-09-17T06:42:10Z")
> [@Butterfly](#): > > Okay and where do handsome, intelligent men age 20-35 linger? It’s not one place…I tend to find myself in typical places, but I act differently than most around me. Look for the cute guy hanging with his friends in a bar and isn’t drinking heavily. Look for the guy at a concert dancing on his own, being himself. Look for the guy at the party that’s willing to do his own thing and isn’t trying to be the center of attention. Look for the guy at work that everyone trusts, that everyone respects. I truly believe that a good guy is very hard to find. In a room where everyone’s facing one direction, look for the guy looking the other way, in another direction. If he’s cute, go for it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/64 "2008-09-17T17:17:02Z")
> [@](#): > > The catfish/salmon analogy was cute, but it’s an extreme. There are a LOT of fish that are in between. Weeellll, bass and muskie are pretty much psycho loner types, pike are all into that heavy gangsta scene, and walleyes, heh, I know they are like the state fish of MN and all but they’re just so boring. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mark-in-dallas](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mark-in-dallas/32/860_2.png) [@mark-in-dallas](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mark-in-dallas)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/65 "2008-09-17T17:34:26Z")
Well, at least this convo hasn’t taken a turn toward Salamandars or Newts yet! Tisha must be away! 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/66 "2008-09-17T17:53:42Z")
> [@Butterfly](#): > > Okay and where do handsome, intelligent men age 20-35 linger? Most are at home with their wife and kids, the others are stuck in the corner of some Podunk area infront of a computer screen. > [@copycat](#): > > That would be awful! I haven’t had sex in so long, I’m pretty sure I’m a virgin again. When I find the right guy, he’ll have to dust me off. It’s a lot like riding a bike, you may fall off a few times at first but it will come back to you quickly. > [@wilks](#): > > Look for the cute guy hanging with his friends in a bar and isn’t drinking heavily. the designated driver. > [@wilks](#): > > Look for the guy at work that everyone trusts, that everyone respects. the one who wears A314? hehe > [@wilks](#): > > I truly believe that a good guy is very hard to find. In a room where everyone’s facing one direction, look for the guy looking the other way, in another direction. If he’s cute, go for it. I don’t know about guys, but finding a halfway intelligent woman, who isn’t fixated on her biological clock is tough after 30. it might tick a little louder but it isn’t ticking faster, I have had 4 after me in “want kids now” mode. they don’t really even seem care about the relationship or building a good one. ---
**Author:** ![Phya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@Phya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phya)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/67 "2008-09-17T20:48:06Z")
> [@woofie2](#): > > I don’t know about guys, but finding a halfway intelligent woman, who isn’t fixated on her biological clock is tough after 30. Would I be too cynical if I said finding a halfway intelligent person, is tough at any age? 😛 Though it’s not a fact, I would imagine that finding a mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy individual without kids is gonna be a tough order, mostly since those men and women most likely have already had serious, committed relationships with kids. If they couldn’t do it before, who says they can do it now? Also a cynical view, but I’m just throwing it out there. 😃 I’m just saying, you can look for new olympians in the 40+ age bracket, but does it make sense? No, if they could have been a good olympian, they would have already been on that path. I might argue though, that my mom did the committed, serious relationship thing…and I still don’t think she’s settled enough mentally to pursue a serious relationship. So I guess kids or lack thereof, might not be a good indicator of relationship material. I’ll worry about it in a few years. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wrlprchnx](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wrlprchnx/32/1360_2.png) [@Wrlprchnx](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wrlprchnx)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/68 "2008-09-17T20:58:56Z")
The less cynical view is that some people really take their time to get ready for a serious relationship (check bad experiences when younger = longer until mentally ready for serious) And I really like that “distinguished” men vs. “radiant” women concept - You definetly notice the radiant women walking down the street… even at 24 ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/69 "2008-09-17T21:48:50Z")
> [@wilks](#): > > It’s not one place…I tend to find myself in typical places, but I act differently than most around me. > > Look for the cute guy hanging with his friends in a bar and isn’t drinking heavily. > > Look for the guy at a concert dancing on his own, being himself. > > Look for the guy at the party that’s willing to do his own thing and isn’t trying to be the center of attention. > > Look for the guy at work that everyone trusts, that everyone respects. > > I truly believe that a good guy is very hard to find. In a room where everyone’s facing one direction, look for the guy looking the other way, in another direction. If he’s cute, go for it. 😉 Actually, that is my type of guy!🙂 But I’m not the initiating type, so is there are place where many of those guys are? > [@](#): > > The less cynical view is that some people really take their time to get ready for a serious relationship (check bad experiences when younger = longer until mentally ready for serious) Agreed. A lot of people take time to rise above their raising and acquire a good character. I guess many of the people who have little to heal do meet the right person at 23. The rest were just not the right person at that age and attracted likewise. I rather see them work on themselves and marry late than to ruin their own life and pass on their bad habits to their children. Some people are also not monogamous,it is better that they do not marry for who enjoys being cheated on? ---
**Author:** ![OoohYahhh](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ooohyahhh/32/1274_2.png) [@OoohYahhh](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OoohYahhh)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 12:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/70 "2008-09-18T00:22:04Z")
[quote] > [@wilks](#): > > I’m sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree here. If this were true, I wouldn’t have been dumped at 28 by a girl I was inches away from proposing to. I’m also FAR from a simple man. To further explain, there are men that trend towards female behaviors and females that trend towards male behaviors. > [quote Remember that these are flashcard simplifications. If you wrote them down on an idnex card (reminder to self 🆒 ) you would probably do fairly well but that still leaves alot of empty space to fill in. That empty space is the variable from one person to the next and even within each individual the variation from one day to the next. > [@](#): > > The catfish/salmon analogy was cute, but it’s an extreme. There are a LOT of fish that are in between. You know i was actually thinkin’ about cuttin’ back this big old fu manchu i have. I know i know i look like i just rode down out of the back country and i thought i might want to ‘fit in’ a little more. Now I think i’ll let it grow and let myself fit in to the catfish analogy until i find a damn good reason to change my trim. > [@](#): > > The idea that men change their expectations as they age is another absolute that will fail you. I know plenty of 40 year old men that are just looking for the next piece of young meat to cross their path. There is a real nugget of truth in Eldros’ graph but for myself rather than personality, isee it more as character. Maybe it’s just a catfish thing. > [@](#): > > These examples are all good bases for average people, but people that don’t fit them will have trouble conforming to them, and have more trouble finding good fits in the opposite molding. It sounds like you don’t fit the base mold, so don’t try to find a guy that fits the equation. > > Copycat, what you have to decide first is what you want. Unless I missed it, tell us the type of man you want to lure in, and I can probably help. I’m one of the best people readers you’ll ever meet. I tend to falter on initial meetings, but I can really get to the core of people. You know this might be worth the time. Not only to find the right relationship but, maybe more importantly keep you out of the wrong ones. For my part I will be single for the rest of this life before I let myself end up in some of the disasters i’ve been in so far. I guess we should both/all decide what we are really looking for in self defense. ---
**Author:** ![OoohYahhh](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ooohyahhh/32/1274_2.png) [@OoohYahhh](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OoohYahhh)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/71 "2008-09-18T00:29:48Z")
> [@magicj76](#): > > If you knew how many younger guys would like to have a relationship with a 40-year-old woman… > the same for 40 year-old guys and elder… > > Just think of the ideal relationship you’d like to have, how you would feel and visualize the kind of guy you’d enjoy to be with… not just physicially but what you’d like to do with him, moments to share… and it will come… > Start to make it real and it will come. > > It’s amazing how many people want things that are not precise. They want a “relationship”.And they get one. A bad one. So be as precise as possible with yourself, you’ll make it in your mind and life will make it real. Uh huh. What she said. OoohYahhh ---
**Author:** ![Wrlprchnx](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wrlprchnx/32/1360_2.png) [@Wrlprchnx](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wrlprchnx)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/72 "2008-09-18T19:52:32Z")
> [@Butterfly](#): > > Actually, that is my type of guy!🙂 > > Some people are also not monogamous,it is better that they do not marry for who enjoys being cheated on? And some people do not get monogamous until they’ve lost something real good fucking up - alot of times they don’t realize what they had was good the first times either. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/73 "2008-09-18T22:15:49Z")
> [@Butterfly](#): > > Actually, that is my type of guy!🙂 > > But I’m not the initiating type, so is there are place where many of those guys are? Bookstores, one of my friends met his wife when she was working at a bookstore. > [@Wrlprchnx](#): > > And some people do not get monogamous until they’ve lost something real good fucking up - alot of times they don’t realize what they had was good the first times either. I have always been monogamous, my partners however have not. ---
**Author:** ![OoohYahhh](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ooohyahhh/32/1274_2.png) [@OoohYahhh](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OoohYahhh)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/74 "2008-09-18T23:04:09Z")
> [@Eldros](#): > > I like how you did it when ooohyahhh suggested it and not when I suggested it :/. That really hurts. El, I wouldn’t take it too hard. We were both trying to get her to go on craigslist to find a boyfriend and maybe bang a few headboards. Turns out she’s only there for the power tools and fishing tackle. And that was the fourth time we suggested it. Kind of the luck of the draw whether you were going to be the one to suggest craigslist the fourth time or the fifth. I guess things move pretty slow when you live in a bog just this side of Bemidji. OoohYahhh ---
**Author:** ![wilks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@wilks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/wilks)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/75 "2008-09-19T02:06:08Z")
> [@Butterfly](#): > > Actually, that is my type of guy!🙂 > > But I’m not the initiating type, so is there are place where many of those guys are? Many? Naw, we nice guys tend to hang around jerks to make ourselves look better. 🙂 If you’re not the initiating type, learn to initiate. I don’t mean you have to go up and talk or ask him to dance or anything. Just initiate eye contact. Initiate flirting. The fact that you’re not the initiating type suggests you may have low self confidence. If that’s the case, whatever the cause is, do something/anything to make yourself feel better about it. That will help. ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 2:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/76 "2008-09-19T02:56:07Z")
> [@OoohYahhh](#): > > El, I wouldn’t take it too hard. We were both trying to get her to go on craigslist to find a boyfriend and maybe bang a few headboards. Turns out she’s only there for the power tools and fishing tackle. And that was the fourth time we suggested it. Kind of the luck of the draw whether you were going to be the one to suggest craigslist the fourth time or the fifth. > > I guess things move pretty slow when you live in a bog just this side of Bemidji. > > OoohYahhh I was just joking with that comment. ---
**Author:** ![copycat](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/copycat/32/896_2.png) [@copycat](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/copycat)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 4:04am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/77 "2008-09-19T04:04:06Z")
> [@](#): > > I guess things move pretty slow when you live in a bog just this side of Bemidji. I’ll have you boys know that I did what you said and now I can’t keep track of all the email I’m getting. In fact, check this one out. If he could spell, I’d think I found me a keeper… **$5,000 for 3 month girlfriend-serious offer - 40 (mpls.)** Reply to: [pers-816360273@craigslist.org](mailto:pers-816360273@craigslist.org) Date: 2008-08-28, 6:14AM CDT I really am 40 and have neve had a girlfriend. i missed another summer of walking holding hands by the lakes. i’m such a nice fun guy to be with. Physically, im in great shape. i play tennis and run in races. I am very funny as cartoonist for a local newspaper. But i dont get out enough and its tough to meet women when you’re short (5’7) and not great looking. Maybe some nice woman would help me out. I’m really going through hell. its been so many years of no romance, sitting home alone every Fri. and Sat. night. I so have the money and maybe even more if a woman was beuatiful , single and there might be a future. ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/78 "2008-09-19T04:37:51Z")
> [@copycat](#): > > I’ll have you boys know that I did what you said and now I can’t keep track of all the email I’m getting. In fact, check this one out. If he could spell, I’d think I found me a keeper… > > **$5,000 for 3 month girlfriend-serious offer - 40 (mpls.)** > > Reply to: [pers-816360273@craigslist.org](mailto:pers-816360273@craigslist.org) > Date: 2008-08-28, 6:14AM CDT > > I really am 40 and have neve had a girlfriend. i missed another summer of walking holding hands by the lakes. i’m such a nice fun guy to be with. Physically, im in great shape. i play tennis and run in races. I am very funny as cartoonist for a local newspaper. But i dont get out enough and its tough to meet women when you’re short (5’7) and not great looking. Maybe some nice woman would help me out. I’m really going through hell. its been so many years of no romance, sitting home alone every Fri. and Sat. night. I so have the money and maybe even more if a woman was beuatiful , single and there might be a future. My job here is done. £, away! Btw, is that date right? Btww, I hope you’re doing some window shopping yourself. ---
**Author:** ![copycat](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/copycat/32/896_2.png) [@copycat](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/copycat)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 6:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/79 "2008-09-19T06:06:38Z")
> [@Eldros](#): > > My job here is done. £, away! > Btw, is that date right? > Btww, I hope you’re doing some window shopping yourself. Man, I don’t have $5k for a boyfriend! Maybe $5… what do you think that will get me? Cat ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047/80 "2008-09-19T12:10:37Z")
> [@copycat](#): > > Man, I don’t have $5k for a boyfriend! Maybe $5… what do you think that will get me? > > Cat no, you are a girl, they should pay you, at least buy you pretty sparkly things, and bring you dead flowers. you are a good girl so $10K would be more what you should ask the suitor pay. 😃 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047.md?page=3) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/help-a-lady-out-dating-tips-please/19047.md?page=5)