# Hey all. **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [December 23, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045 "2009-12-23T18:15:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/1 "2009-12-23T18:15:03Z")
Just dropping in to say hi. I’m a 44 year old single male from Ontario Canada. Just found out about [pheromones](https://a314.com/) and am trying to find information on the best to use. ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/2 "2009-12-23T18:21:53Z")
Hi and welcome to the forum! In order to recommend the best pheros for you, we need to know a bit about your personality and how you relate to others. Are you confident and outgoing? Or are you kinda shy? Also, what kinds of situations or relationships do you want to affect or improve using pheromones? ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/3 "2009-12-23T18:27:43Z")
In need of some assistance. Hey all… I’m pretty new to the [pheromone](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) stuff and have been researching for a while now. I’m not out for a one night stand here. I have a special lady in my life now and am very happy to have her in my life. We have known each other for 17 years. I fell in love with her the first day I met her but I was married and 25 and she was 16… Later she got married so … well you know… Anyhow… we both became single and back in May of 2009 we ended up together… We spent an awesome five months or so together and enjoyed a VERY healthy sex life. However.. something happened along the way.. not sure what it was.. it could be related to harassment on the part of my ex or hers or something else not sure… Back in October she decided she wanted to back off and be friends for a while. We are still VERY close but there is no sexual activity. I can see she is still attracted to me and that she has these times when she looks at me like.. well you know… but something is holding her back. The fire is still there within her but it is just flickering for the time being… Neither of us have been with anyone else since we have been together and we are together a lot in a friendship kind of capacity.. but as I mentioned.. I can still see the sparks and so can everyone else around us. So I’m wondering… will a pheromone work to pour some gas on her fire and get us back to how we use to be? Is this an unfair thing for me to do? If a pheromone will work which should I use? Thanks for any input. ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/4 "2009-12-23T18:41:22Z")
Hey Kitty, thanks for the reply. I have posted information on my situation and what I am looking for here: > [@Hey all.](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/3): > > In need of some assistance. Hey all… I’m pretty new to the [pheromone](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) stuff and have been researching for a while now. I’m not out for a one night stand here. I have a special lady in my life now and am very happy to have her in my life. We have known each other for 17 years. I fell in love with her the first day I met her but I was married and 25 and she was 16… Later she got married so … well you know… Anyhow… we both became single and back in May of 2009 we ended up together… We spent an awe… Thanks for any help. ---
**Author:** ![Phil\_T.Rich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a8b319/32.png) [@Phil\_T.Rich](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phil_T.Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/5 "2009-12-23T18:57:48Z")
wow wolf thats some heavy dr.phil type of stuff. but when you say light a fire do you mean sexually or relationship wise ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/6 "2009-12-23T18:59:48Z")
Well, personally I don’t see pheromones as any more unfair than them using push up bras to get our attention! If she has made a conscious decision not to have sex with you but to remain in a romantic relationship then it is probably something you all should talk about rather than trying to appeal to her animal nature. If she has made a conscious decision that she isn’t romatically attracted to you and just wants to be friends…put on some AMMO and Ishine and ask her to set you up with some of her other friends! She’ll either get the message or set you up with somebody. LOL. There are about a million threads on here about escaping the ‘friends zone’ and very few seem to do so. Pheromones are a great asset to have on your side to enhance your persona and appeal to that subconcious animal side of others. They don’t do much in the way of altering rational decisions after the rationalization has been made. ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/7 "2009-12-23T19:06:52Z")
Okay, thanks for the info. For your situation, you need her to open up to you. To feel comfortable and not afraid to share whatever is on her mind. The best phero product for this is Instant Honesty. It will increase and amplify the depth and intimacy of your conversations. [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/) is another great product you may want to consider, because it will give you an aura of dependability, of being someone she can count on. ---
**Author:** ![jakeable83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f1d935/32.png) [@jakeable83](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jakeable83)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/8 "2009-12-23T20:48:45Z")
In my experience with women you once have been hot and heavy with but then wanted to back things off could be a couple of things going on here. One someone else may have come into the picture and she is trying to figure out who she wants, or at least is interested in the both of you. Two have you talked with her about where the relationship is going? I have had many female friends who have told me they had to back things off with thier interests because they don’t know where its going… but don’t want to come off as needy or clingy so they are waiting for their guy to take charge and initiate things to the “next” level. that being said if its the first one getting a product like a314 would help raise your status, ammo will help as well from what i heard although i’m waiting on mine in the mail and have no experience with it yet. If your wanting to get to a deeper level with her instant honesty will be helpful in creating that deeper connection and you can be helpful in figuring out why she is pulling back. ---
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/9 "2009-12-23T22:02:59Z")
Welcome to Pherotalk PapaWolf! Looks like you have a complicated situation on your hands. I understand how you feel and if you are certain she still have feelings for you and you know you have for her then obviously you would want her back. The recommendations and advice given are all great and what you can do is use these products to get her to open up so you can find out just why she is staying away from you when it is obvious to everyone she still wants you. I am sure she has her reasons and once you find out I think you should respect it and just remain friends. You never know what your patience and understanding might bring and eventually you two may just end up together. Keep us updated! Your GC will be issued soon 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/10 "2009-12-24T03:11:29Z")
Wow.. thanks for all the replies. I didn’t expect such a response. OK… We are VERY close… We always hug when we first see each other and when saying good bye, I always kiss her cheek as well… She says she needs to concentrate on herself for now and she thinks being in a relationship with me will take her focus away form that. We talk about anything and everything all the time. She tells me it isn’t just me, she doesn’t want a relationship with anyone, or sex with anyone… When we first got together though… well… she always told me she was very sexual and proved it multiple times a day. But then some crap started from my ex and hers because these people hate to see us happy and such… I honestly believe this has something to do with it. However.. there is something else that could be part of it.. Not sure how much I should say about it.. Let’s just say her ex took certain liberties with her in a violent way and ended up in prison for it. There isn’t another guy. We live four doors away from each other and her sons still come over here all the time as they are good friends with my sons. If there was another guy her sons would have mentioned it… They want us together and are always trying to “set us up” to get back together like we use to be hehe… They even told me about a friend of mine and hers who stayed over night one night at her place and they were kind of upset about it and wanted me to get rid of him because they thought something was going on.. but it wasn’t, he’s actually gay and they didn’t know it. LOL Anyhow… I love this girl with everything I have and don’t want to give up on her.. I’ve tried to date other women as she suggested but I always felt horrible and couldn’t finish the dates. I kept thinking about her. I don’t want to push her into it.. but a man has needs donchaknow LOL. As I mentioned there are times I can see it in her eyes, and how she acts with me, little touches here and there and the look in her eyes and such… For instance.. a couple weeks back we went to this dance and when we got home we started dancing together in the living room… But as things started to get… closer… she backed off… She was actually the one who initiated the “getting closer” part and even went to kiss me on the lips for the first time in about three months… but as I said she backed off right then… (just for reference, neither of us were drinking alcohol so I know she wasn’t loosened up that way). So I was just thinking that maybe pheromones might open her up and get her back to how she was before. I don’t know… Just wanted to edit this to add something… The relationship I have with this lady… It’s like we have everything a normal girlfriend/boyfriend relationship has without the sex part… In case it helps.. I’m 44 and she is 35. ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/11 "2009-12-24T03:46:51Z")
If she feels like she needs her space right now, you have to respect that. If you are truly serious about her, then patience is the very best friend you can have. Giving her her space right now will make her respect you and will also show her that you really do care. And sometimes, when you back off a little, then she might come to you a bit. Try it and see. As I said earlier, [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) would really help to give your conversations more depth and maybe get her to open up to you more. ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/12 "2009-12-24T03:56:19Z")
> [@Sillykitty](#): > > If she feels like she needs her space right now, you have to respect that. If you are truly serious about her, then patience is the very best friend you can have. > > Giving her her space right now will make her respect you and will also show her that you really do care. And sometimes, when you back off a little, then she might come to you a bit. Try it and see. > > As I said earlier, Instant Honesty would really help to give your conversations more depth and maybe get her to open up to you more. Thanks a million Kitty. I do respect her wishes and give her space… I’m probably just being impatient.. or sexually frustrated or something… Just a bit of background… I went for nine and a half years with nothing because of a wife that turned into an ice berg (if you get my drift LOL).. I went from that to the most awesome love making I’ve ever had multiple times a day to BAM nothing again… My hormones are P.Oed and my umm.. you know is threatening to pack up and leave LOL… I don’t think I need the [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) with her though. We are very honest about everything with each other. She tells me things she won’t even tell her own mother and I do the same with her. ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/13 "2009-12-24T04:01:16Z")
> [@PapaWolf](#): > > Thanks a million Kitty. I do respect her wishes and give her space… I’m probably just being impatient.. or sexually frustrated or something… Just a bit of background… I went for nine and a half years with nothing because of a wife that turned into an ice berg (if you get my drift LOL).. I went from that to the most awesome love making I’ve ever had multiple times a day to BAM nothing again… My hormones are P.Oed and my umm.. you know is threatening to pack up and leave LOL… > I don’t think I need the Instant Honesty with her though. We are very honest about everything with each other. She tells me things she won’t even tell her own mother and I do the same with her. Try not to let your impatience show, because if she really does care about you too, that will also make her feel pressured. Maybe try backing off and getting a little busy with other things, just to see what happens. Less can turn out to be more, if you do it right. ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/14 "2009-12-24T04:10:13Z")
> [@Sillykitty](#): > > Try not to let your impatience show, because if she really does care about you too, that will also make her feel pressured. > > Maybe try backing off and getting a little busy with other things, just to see what happens. Less can turn out to be more, if you do it right. Ya know Kitty… After reading your last post… I did realize that the times she started getting “closer” was when I had played things a lot lower key than usual… But then I would see the.. interest I guess you’d call it and my hormones would kick in and.. well… yeah I’d get kind of flustered and making little innuendos and suggestive comments and such and that would be when she would back off… Maybe I don’t need pheromones.. maybe I need a muzzle hehehe… Is there a pheromone that’ll slow my roll when I notice her getting closer eheheh… ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 4:21am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/15 "2009-12-24T04:21:08Z")
> [@PapaWolf](#): > > Ya know Kitty… After reading your last post… I did realize that the times she started getting “closer” was when I had played things a lot lower key than usual… But then I would see the.. interest I guess you’d call it and my hormones would kick in and.. well… yeah I’d get kind of flustered and making little innuendos and suggestive comments and such and that would be when she would back off… Maybe I don’t need pheromones.. maybe I need a muzzle hehehe… Is there a pheromone that’ll slow my roll when I notice her getting closer eheheh… You got it! Its kind of like a dance, of sorts. I don’t know what pheromone will keep you back, maybe just remember that if you DON’T stay back, then she’ll shy away. And you don’t want to scare her off. Especially if she’s been through a rough time, it takes time to to truly trust again. Maybe she needs to come to you, in her own time. ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/16 "2009-12-24T04:27:01Z")
I think she needs to feel safe with you. And sexual innuendos do not make a woman feel safe, especially if she’s been through unpleasant sexual experiences. For women, their sexual aspect is quite sensitive and fragile, its different from men. I’m thinking, lay off the suggestive comments and innuendos altogether. Those are a big turn-off for women, and they also make you seem like a predator rather than a protector. ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/17 "2009-12-28T23:21:18Z")
> [@Sillykitty](#): > > I think she needs to feel safe with you. > > And sexual innuendos do not make a woman feel safe, especially if she’s been through unpleasant sexual experiences. > > For women, their sexual aspect is quite sensitive and fragile, its different from men. > > I’m thinking, lay off the suggestive comments and innuendos altogether. Those are a big turn-off for women, and they also make you seem like a predator rather than a protector. Thanks again Kitty. I was thinking the same thing. I think I mentioned earlier, we have known each other 18 years now. I’m actually the first guy she has been with since her. incident with her ex. Took her over six years to even think about being with another guy let alone even trust men in general at all… I was one of only two guys she trusted at all immediately after it happened (the other is my buddy who is married to her cousin) for years. We actually had a very long talk on Boxing day and she did tell me she does want to work back to where we were but she needs time. She told me there was a reason she chose me when she did… Because I’m the only male she fully trusts and knows is there for her and not anything else… Made me feel kinda bad that I could have blown that if I kept being impatient. She initiated the talk on Boxing Day because she knew why I was acting the way I was and she doesn’t want to lose me (nor I her) so she felt she needed to let me know where we stand so I didn’t think she was trying to push me away. So now I just have to keep working on her confidence and self esteem… She’s the sweetest lady I ever met (personality wise and looks wise) but as you can imagine her self esteem and confidence took a huge hit… Maybe I’ll check out some of the [pheromones for women](https://phera.com/) and see if there’s something that can help her in those areas… Thanks again Kitty. ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 8:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/18 "2009-12-30T08:25:23Z")
> [@PapaWolf](#): > > Thanks again Kitty. I was thinking the same thing. I think I mentioned earlier, we have known each other 18 years now. I’m actually the first guy she has been with since her. incident with her ex. Took her over six years to even think about being with another guy let alone even trust men in general at all… I was one of only two guys she trusted at all immediately after it happened (the other is my buddy who is married to her cousin) for years. > We actually had a very long talk on Boxing day and she did tell me she does want to work back to where we were but she needs time. She told me there was a reason she chose me when she did… Because I’m the only male she fully trusts and knows is there for her and not anything else… Made me feel kinda bad that I could have blown that if I kept being impatient. She initiated the talk on Boxing Day because she knew why I was acting the way I was and she doesn’t want to lose me (nor I her) so she felt she needed to let me know where we stand so I didn’t think she was trying to push me away. > So now I just have to keep working on her confidence and self esteem… She’s the sweetest lady I ever met (personality wise and looks wise) but as you can imagine her self esteem and confidence took a huge hit… Maybe I’ll check out some of the pheromones for women and see if there’s something that can help her in those areas… > Thanks again Kitty. Thats a great idea! You can even turn her on to this forum if she has internet, so that she can learn about this stuff too. You two could learn together. And besides being full of great information, this is also a very down-to-earth, extremely supportive community. ---
**Author:** ![PapaWolf](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/papawolf/32/1636_2.png) [@PapaWolf](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PapaWolf)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-all/35045/19 "2010-01-12T18:44:50Z")
Just wanted to give you an update… Sweetness (that’s what I call the lady I have been posting about) and I have gotten much closer recently… I have backed off on any kind of talk about anything sexual, and anything even remotely close to getting the relationship back to where it was… She has become a lot more comfortable now, we laugh and play around like we use to and we are getting a lot closer now again… She’s even gotten back to touching me more when we talk, hugging me more often, cuddling closer when we watch a movie together, etc… Nothing personal against the guys here… But Kitty… I think you proved that when a guy needs advice on something such as my issue… a lady is the best person to talk with… Thanks again so much… Umm but now.. what do I do with that [Turn Up the Heat](https://a314.com/product/turn-up-the-heat-tuth/) I already ordered LMAO… Maybe I’l spritz some on my male cat and let him prowl.. he’s seems like he’s been lonely lately LOL…