# Hey ladies. Please help me :) **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 10, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927 "2009-03-10T19:17:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Disconnected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Disconnected](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Disconnected)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/1 "2009-03-10T19:17:41Z")
So this is a direct copy from my latest journal entry, i would edit it, if i wasn’t so sick ☹ But ill give you a quick rundown, i like this girl now for a while, and we’ve liked each other on and off for a while. She recently told me that she liked me, and when we tried dating before, something was seeming to hold her back, but nothing seems to be doing that this time. And i messed things up in the past with this girl twice now, i would really like to make things work. I posted this here in the women’s section because i would like a woman’s take on this. OH, and if you guys want/need to know anything more about my situation with this girl or anything, just ask, i would be glad to go into more details 🙂 Thanks in advance ladies, Marc out~😃 "I think that i’m just going to save what little bit of IS i have and then just use it all (or at least like 3 or 4 sprays) on the weekend, i have this date with a girl a like who told me that she likes me. I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS! Okay, so thats about the biggest thing that happened to me in the last little while, this girl who i’ve liked for quite some time now, randomly strikes up a conversation with me through text (we dont talk too much) and the day before, she was texting me a bunch of times during school (she had a free period but i couldn’t answer) and so anyways, we were talking about all kinds of things, and she then asks me this “so who are you liking?”. And not many people will ask that question unless they’re wondering if your available or something like that (and besides, she asked me that the last two times she liked me 😛) So anyways, i told her that i like her too, and we found out that we both had liked each other for a while but where i always got so nervous around her and i didn’t think she liked me, i never tried anything, or i never tried to come on too strong, but at the same time she liked me, but shes used to guys making bold moves, and guys who are like chock full of confidence, she didn’t know how to react. It was actually really funny we had quite the good laugh about it. But anyways, i know that she likes me now, But i’ve messed up things with her twice in the past and i really don’t want there to be a third. But i also dunno how to seal the deal or anything. So any advice you guys could give me would be awesome. ( im also going to post this question in the women’s section too, but mostly for advice on what to do, where as i need some dude advice for the phero part ) So, if you guys think of any new pheros i should order (not particularly for my date, but in general, or anything at all, just lemme know ) Anyways, im sick, so im gone now, peace out guys. Marc out~" ---
**Author:** ![CookieGirl](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/cookiegirl/32/1379_2.png) [@CookieGirl](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/CookieGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/2 "2009-03-11T02:14:08Z")
Hi there marc ! 🙂 I’m abit confused here. So both of you had a discussion that you liked eachother, yes ? You know that she likes confident guys that make the first move. Have you made any first moves ? I cant get a clear picture of where you two are, in terms of being able to “seal the deal” ? Perhaps you want to officially become a couple, but how far along is the relationship with her ? Messing up two times also makes it hard to advise…ANYTHING, really. I dont know what you did, how horrible it was, and what she thinks/acts towards you now. Care to elaborate on this ? 😛 At this point, the only thing I know about her is that she likes confident men you dont talk much with her she’s admitted to liking you you did something wrong twice to her ---
**Author:** ![Maromi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/maromi/32/809_2.png) [@Maromi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Maromi)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/3 "2009-03-11T02:22:43Z")
I have to agree with cookiegirl. More info would be great 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Disconnected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Disconnected](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Disconnected)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/4 "2009-03-11T02:56:16Z")
> [@CookieGirl](#): > > Hi there marc ! 🙂 > I’m abit confused here. > > So both of you had a discussion that you liked eachother, yes ? You know that she likes confident guys that make the first move. Have you made any first moves ? > > I cant get a clear picture of where you two are, in terms of being able to “seal the deal” ? Perhaps you want to officially become a couple, but how far along is the relationship with her ? > Messing up two times also makes it hard to advise…ANYTHING, really. I dont know what you did, how horrible it was, and what she thinks/acts towards you now. > > Care to elaborate on this ? 😛 > > At this point, the only thing I know about her is that > she likes confident men > you dont talk much with her > she’s admitted to liking you > you did something wrong twice to her Well, yes, we had a talk, and figured out we both liked each other. I know she likes confident guys, based on the guys i knew she went out with in the past, they’re “party guys” as they have been referred to in the past by my friends. Well, she told me that she liked me before i said it back to her, so not really, we don’t talk much in school (its not so much the in school situation, its just that we seem to do our best communicating when alone, but im hoping if we were to move forward into a relationship of sorts that would change) When i said “seal the deal” all i mean is that i wan’t something to actually come of this, i would really like to be in a relationship with this girl, i probably put that the wrong way 😛 Well I’ve known her for two years, and I’ve always thought of the possibility of being more than just friends with her since i met her. And its not very far off at all. We had this whole conversation about a week ago. But the whole reason im posting this here is to hope to find some help with getting things going? 😮 Hmm. Once again i probably put things the wrong way when i say “i messed things up twice” because its not that i messed things up, things just never worked out between us. The first time what happened was that i like one of my good friends, but she told me that she liked me. But i actually liked her back, and my good friend had a boyfriend, but she liked the way i talked to her and treated her. But i waited too long to tell my friend, because i was afraid of messing up my friendship with her, and this girl moved on ☹ The second time, we kind of tried dating for a bit at the beginning of this school year, but once again she was the one who originally told me that she liked me first. And i was just getting so nervous around her, and we went on a date, and it never seemed like much a date, so she was getting the friends only vibe, and cut it off ☹ I don’t think thats its nothing i can’t fix, and as for how does she think and act towards me now? Well she told me that she has wanted to like me now for some time but something has been holding her back, but this time nothing seems to be doing it. And i would really like to be able to improve who i act in public, as in talking to her more, im usually so good at this, and im the kind of guy who always knows what to do, and what advice to give until it happens to him. All my friends come to me when they need to talk, and need some advice, but i just over think things when it comes to this girl cause i like her so much. ☹ Did that clear things up? i hope so ☹ Sorry if it never. Thanks for trying to help so far. 🙂 Marc~ ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 11:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/5 "2009-03-11T11:09:36Z")
I would suggest not waiting to long this time. She has expressed she likes you and you like her. Tell her you would like to date her again. Use some socials like Ishine or IH and [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/). Now the first time you dated a little you said it felt like just a friendship. There is a lot said for being a gentleman but there are certain factors that indicate interest and if you dont esculate the relationship it can stagnate like before. Kiss her good night after the date. Heck kiss her before that if the opportunity comes up. Try to hold her hand when you walk Look over the body language link in my signature below and adjust yours to show masculinity and interest. > [@](#): > > Well she told me that she has wanted to like me now for some time but something has been holding her back > [@](#): > > I know she likes confident guys, based on the guys i knew she went out with in the past, they’re “party guys” as they have been referred to in the past by my friends. Hmmm You may want to consider a little A314 as a base for your other mones to. She has a comfort level with you so this wont intimidate her no matter her age and I am getting the feeling from a few comments you have made she prefers men who take charge or take the lead. No offense but I think you have been a little passive with her and I think you need to find more balance between passive and aggressive. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Disconnected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Disconnected](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Disconnected)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 11:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/6 "2009-03-13T23:59:18Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > I would suggest not waiting to long this time. She has expressed she likes you and you like her. Tell her you would like to date her again. > > Use some socials like Ishine or IH and Ammo. Now the first time you dated a little you said it felt like just a friendship. There is a lot said for being a gentleman but there are certain factors that indicate interest and if you dont esculate the relationship it can stagnate like before. > > Kiss her good night after the date. Heck kiss her before that if the opportunity comes up. > > Try to hold her hand when you walk > > Look over the body language link in my signature below and adjust yours to show masculinity and interest. > > Hmmm You may want to consider a little A314 as a base for your other mones to. She has a comfort level with you so this wont intimidate her no matter her age and I am getting the feeling from a few comments you have made she prefers men who take charge or take the lead. No offense but I think you have been a little passive with her and I think you need to find more balance between passive and aggressive. > > Tisha Thanks for the advice so far guys, but i heard that Tisha gives the best 😛 And yeah, like i own the following products, and im down the the bottoms on just about all of them: -Instant shine -[Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) -Instant honesty -Ammo And i have read a good bit about A314, and it is the next new product i am ordering for sure. I was just pretty much guaranteed a job by one of my friends, so once i start coming into some more money i will get that for sure. But working with the products that i have right now, what should i do with them? But keep the advice coming on what to do on the date guys, i find that it is really good and it all helps. HOWEVER! My real problem is what to do when im not on a date/hanging out with her. What do i do? how do i act around her? what do i say to her? please help me with that ladies ☹ Keep up the good advice 🙂 Marc out~😃 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/7 "2009-03-14T03:31:15Z")
> [@](#): > > HOWEVER! My real problem is what to do when im not on a date/hanging > out with her. What do i do? how do i act around her? what do i say to her? please help me with that ladies ☹ What do you do ? … The same things you do with anyone else you hang out with. If its not a date there is no pressure to “do” anything. how do i act around her?.. Be yourself, never try to be something your not. That dosnt mean you cant expand who you are by learning about social awareness and body language. Once you learn something it becomes part of you. what do i say to her? … Ok you asked for it LOL This post will help a little you can skip the first steps cause you already know her and mones so leave out what dosnt apply to your situation because I was going over a similar situation with someone else. You will get the feel for it though. > [@](#): > > I touched a bit on this subject in the mens forum last week. I can pretty much start a conversation with anyone. > > [The Gift Of Gab](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-gift-of-gab/24413) > > First task to do… > > Most people have some sort of schedule they at least loosely adhere to. > Find out hers, without stalking her of course LOL. > > You mention she has a child, maybe she takes the child for a walk everyday or to the playground or something. Maybe she frequents a certain store or pub. I assume you see her here and there when your out now. Once you figure out a way to see her in passing more… > > Second task… Practice with your pheromones a little to find your dosage, You should be doing this while you doing the other tasks I gave. > > Third task… Make initial contact > > First thing you do is make eye contact with her and smile, Maybe say good morning or afternoon as you slowly pass by wearing your pheromones. If you see her in passing often, do this a few times before you start a conversation so she has a sense of knowing you a little. > > Observe her without being weird looking while your doing it LOL You will notice things about her, If she has her child with her, you can use that to start a conversation. Say "Bonnie little lass/lad how old is he/she ? Now if you read the other post I wrote that I provided a link to above you will no how to continue. Remember Statement then open ended question so she has to respond. > > Suppose she shops at a certain store alot. First be sure you know something about the store. If she’s holding a bag or something from that establishment you can use that as a starter. (like the donut shop example I gave in my other post). > > Being aware and observing her is what is important. I have a feeling since your walking into lamp posts that your looking but not really seeing. By this I mean get past the Bonnie part and look at what she is doing, holding, wearing anything that can give you a opening to talk to her. > > If she happens to drop something, then sure pick it up for her and start to talk but dont stop her and say you dropped something if she didnt. Just so you know men can drop things to LOL Drop something in her path. Not your kilt, something your holding 😃 > > You have a advantage really to, other then the pheromones , You kinda know her sister and you live near each other so you can use those things in conversation to give comfort and familiarity. It helps to start to establish a connection. Dont open with them but you can work them in by saying. "I think I know your sister from school Whats her name ? " or "You live near me I think, How do you like that new lamp post they installed ? " That one is stupid but you get my point. Find a common link. > > Your gonna probably get some PUA advice in here to. That stands for pick up artist. There tips on how to get women. Anyways some of the tips are useful but there mostly for guys looking for a quick ummmm… I think they call it “tup” in Scotland. Could be wrong… but anyways your looking for more then that I assume so while the advice can help don’t over do it. Women can smell a PUA a mile away and this girl doesn’t seem like the type to fall for it. Just be you. From the gift of gab. > [@](#): > > This can be hard for some people. You have a expert talker here so your in luck LOL 😉 > > The flowing conversation looks like this. > > Opening statement followed by a question > They respond > You make a statement pertaining to there response and then ask a question. > They respond and in most cases ask a question of there own. > You respond and make a statement and ask a question > > and so on and so on. > > Its not as hard as it sounds as I will illustrate below. > > First thing you do when you enter a room, bar, club is take in who is in there. Notice things about them. This will give you a feel for who will be more open to conversation and interaction and what there likes and dislikes may be. It gives the first impression. > > Then you pick your target and make initial contact, Usually by doing the observing I mentioned above you can come up with a opening. This is basically the hardest part. Sometimes in groups its easier but I personally feel approaching the lone person is easier. > > Be sure to smile and make eye contact a lot as well as be a good listener. Listening and really hearing what they say is crucial. > > Once you have your opening. Try to ask open ended questions that require more then a yes or no answer. > > When they answer this information given will lead you into your statement. Dont ask question after questions repetitively though. Make a statement so this will give them a chance to ask you something. Then you can reply to there question and make a statement of your own followed by a question to keep things flowing. > > If you find the convo is ebbing this is the time to pull out your PUA Tactics. Why wait ?.. because women are not stupid, we know the pick up tricks as well as the men do and if you lead with PUA material right out of the gate you come off as…well as a PUA. You want to use the techniques without being obvious your using them. Make them part of your personality. If you force them, you are not being real and this will stop a convo dead in its tracks. Then we go back to our friends and laugh about the stupid pick up line this guy used on us. You want to leave them thinking wow that guy was interesting or fun to talk to. > > I have often been on the phone with Steve who is a experienced PUA while he is out at Buckies and I can hear him talking to others. Its natural not forced, he has made it a part of his personality and can do it without thought. According to him that wasn’t always so, it takes practice. So before you hit the bars or clubs practice on those you dont really care if they have a interest in you or not. This will make it more comfortable for when you approach that lady of interest. > > If you fail with the practice people dont get upset. Look at the experience and learn from it. What could you have said different to keep things flowing. Make a mental note for the next time. > > Not everyone has a good sense of humor but that can be learned as well. Making amusing statements, teasing or what the PUA’s call negging can help deepen comfort levels and help open people up more as long as your not insulting. There is a fine line between a insult and a neg. > > Example… > > Lets go to Dunkin Donuts for a Basic practice run shall we … 😃 > > Pay attention to the words I put in **bold** print > > I enter the building with a confident stance. Make eye contact and smile at whoever looks up to see who came in. Some will make eye contact and smile back. Some will glance away in nervousness or disinterest. ( we will work on those people later) > > Already I know who is more open to talking to me. > > Now I am taking them in and noticing things about them. Not the nervous ones the eye contact people. > > The guy in front of me is holding a bag of Irish Blend coffee. My opening. > > Me… "Oh wow they have Irish blend, I always wanted to try that, Have you had it before ? " _Make eye contact_, _smile smile smile Its hard to be mean or ignore smiling people._ > > Victim… Yes its very good, > > Me… I like the French vanilla blend, so far its my favorite, I hear they have holiday Cinnamon stick blend. Wonder how that one tastes. _This can be a statement or a question._ > > Victim, Yes they do, they have had it in the pots at **work** this past week. ( he mentioned work, hold onto that for later) > > Me… Oh really, did you try it ? > > Victim… Yes > > Me… Did you like it ? > > Victim … No > > Alert alert the conversation is lagging. > > Make a statement and ask a question that requires more verbal communication > > Me… We dont have a coffee machine at my work so we have to bring it in made. What kind of work do you do ? > > Victim… I manage a **store** > > Me… Thats Great, What kind of store ? I work for the post office. > > _You need to offer a little info on yourself to get some in return. People reciprocate its human nature._ > > Victim… I manage a **sporting good store** in the **mall** across town. Do you work here in (insert town name) ? > > Ect Ect … > > By now you have a feel whether the person is open and interested in talking to you and if you want to continue talking to them. Sometimes you may not want to. In which you can cut it short by making a statement and not asking a question. If you like the person this is where you introduce yourself. With the people who didnt make eye contact when you came in or looked nervouse and look away quick you may need to introduce yourself a little earlier but practice on the easy ones first. > > Me… "Oh By the way My name is Tisha, and you are ? " Umm lets call him Ted. Go right back into the convo and answer his question. > > When you just walk up to someone and say Hi My name is Tisha and then start talking its not natural or flowing. This is done more in a business setting not a social setting. As long as you introduce yourself in the first 3 to 5 minutes of conversation its not considered rude. > > He just gave me a ton more material to work with. I can talk about sports, hobbies, things he sells in the store, the mall, or move toward a more personal level and ask him what sports he participates in. > > The point of the above conversation is that by listening to what they are saying and holding onto those keywords and phrases you can revert back to them and ask questions and make statements even with very little response to work with. Plus you can work what you learn from the PUA’s into it slowly to perfect your own personal technique. > > One more tip… Use postive speech. Instead of saying I hate Cinnamon stick coffee say I like vanilla better then Cinnamon. Postive words and phrases make people feel more comfort and inspire them to respond with positive statements. It influences there attitude and state of mind. > > Whoops one more tip 🙂 While asking a girl what they do for fun is good dont do it to soon in the convo unless you have observed they have a real outgoing personality. You want to establish the rapport first then move it into a more personal territory. Suppose I had ask the guy above "what he did for fun right after I said “I like the French vanilla blend” it breaks the flow on conversation and sends alerts up. You move into that after the first 5 minutes of convo after you have established a rapport. > > Good goddess I can go on forever with tips LOL I should write a book. > > Hope this helps some I am sure the PUA’s will have more suggestions for you. But its best to start with the basics when your shy. Believe me I have taken people out and given them lessons in how to approach and create a flowing convo and its something you work toward and progress with with practice. > > Tisha Maybe I should go with you LOL 😉 Just teasing 😃 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/8 "2009-03-14T03:56:04Z")
I had to start a new post for the rest LOL OK now you see the above donut conversation up there ? When your feeling confident and are ready to ask her out you try to lead the conversation toward that. Take donut guy for example. … We left off with him asking me if I worked in town. Me… Yes, I do. I have seen your store but never been inside. What kind of sporting goods do you sell ? Ted… Outdoor equipment mostly, Camping hiking boating Me… Oh I love hiking, do you hike ? (see I am leading him where I want him to go. Now of course I wouldnt move this quickly cause I never met Ted before but by leading him I can either ask him to go hiking or influence him to ask me) So… If your question is how do I ask her out. Steer the convo towards the movies or dinner or something then just pop the question. Since you hang with her, when you go on a date use body language to signal this is a date and not just hanging out. I think I posted tips on that in my very first post. Then when your comfortable dating you can bring up being in a relationship. OK done LOL Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Disconnected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Disconnected](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Disconnected)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/9 "2009-03-15T03:08:17Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > I had to start a new post for the rest LOL > > OK now you see the above donut conversation up there ? When your feeling confident and are ready to ask her out you try to lead the conversation toward that. > > Take donut guy for example. … > > We left off with him asking me if I worked in town. > > Me… Yes, I do. I have seen your store but never been inside. What kind of sporting goods do you sell ? > > Ted… Outdoor equipment mostly, Camping hiking boating > > Me… Oh I love hiking, do you hike ? > > (see I am leading him where I want him to go. Now of course I wouldnt move this quickly cause I never met Ted before but by leading him I can either ask him to go hiking or influence him to ask me) > > So… If your question is how do I ask her out. Steer the convo towards the movies or dinner or something then just pop the question. > > Since you hang with her, when you go on a date use body language to signal this is a date and not just hanging out. I think I posted tips on that in my very first post. > > Then when your comfortable dating you can bring up being in a relationship. > > OK done LOL > > Tisha I’m sorry i made you do that aha 😛 But Thank you so much 😃 !!! That actually helped so much, one last thing though, i hope its not too much to ask. But she is ALWAYS around her friends, in school i will never get the chance to catch her alone. She is usually with her friends… We will call them Friend A and Friend B . They are her best friends. Friend A is her VERY best friend, while B is the other best friend. Now! Me and Friend B talk a good bit, and me and my lady of interest have often hung out while B was coming along too. But its A that i feel sort of intimidated by. How do you suggest i approach this situation? ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/10 "2009-03-15T09:03:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m sorry i made you do that aha 😛 But Thank you so much 😃 !!! That actually helped so much, one last thing though, i hope its not too much to ask. Thats ok, My “job job” is a postal worker but thats not my profession, sometimes life steps in the way and you do what you gotta do to make a living. Thats part of why I love working for the forum. I get to do what I was trained to do. 😉 Ahh the best friend back up LOL Its a tough situation. First… Why do you feel intimidated by A ? When your just hanging out, friends are going to be present that’s normal. Some options… When your “hanging out” invite some of your own buds to run interference for you. This is the most common solution. We used to do this a lot when we were young. Find (A) a boyfriend of her own and she will be less of a problem. Suppose your in the lunch room or courtyard at school. Just say something like. " hey will you come over here and sit with me so the two of us can talk alone for a while" If she asks why be sweet and say " I like your friends they rock but your the one I want to get to know and I hardly get to see you alone" This is easier to do when both her friends are present because she may feel bad about ditching them if they are alone. You could ask her to hangout before hand and mention just the two of you without friends. Say something like “hey how about just you and I hanging out after school today” If you share the same lunch period with her ask her to have lunch with you. Ask if you could walk her to class if you have classes close to one another. Separate your hanging time from your alone time. Don’t act like your intimidated by A no matter what. Be nice but don’t let her tell you what to do. In a relationship her best friend can be your best asset. So be nice to her, even compliment her in a platonic way and get her on your side. When you do go on a date make sure A and B stay home. Remember you want to make it clear its a date. But include them in general hanging out. Its when the friends start to feel left out that trouble occurs. Again you can always invite your own friends to keep them busy. Never bad mouth A or B to your girl. Expressing you want to spend time together is fine but girls that age can be funny about their best friends. They’re like security blankets. You want to come across as confident. The mones can help you but reading the body language link will not only help you read others BL but enable you to adjust your own body language to convey confidence and other messages about you. Friend A can only intimidate you if you let her 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Disconnected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Disconnected](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Disconnected)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/11 "2009-03-16T15:36:20Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > Thats ok, My “job job” is a postal worker but thats not my profession, sometimes life steps in the way and you do what you gotta do to make a living. Thats part of why I love working for the forum. I get to do what I was trained to do. 😉 > > Ahh the best friend back up LOL Its a tough situation. > > First… Why do you feel intimidated by A ? > > When your just hanging out, friends are going to be present that’s normal. > > Some options… > > When your “hanging out” invite some of your own buds to run interference for you. This is the most common solution. We used to do this a lot when we were young. Find (A) a boyfriend of her own and she will be less of a problem. > > Suppose your in the lunch room or courtyard at school. Just say something like. " hey will you come over here and sit with me so the two of us can talk alone for a while" If she asks why be sweet and say " I like your friends they rock but your the one I want to get to know and I hardly get to see you alone" This is easier to do when both her friends are present because she may feel bad about ditching them if they are alone. > > You could ask her to hangout before hand and mention just the two of you without friends. Say something like “hey how about just you and I hanging out after school today” If you share the same lunch period with her ask her to have lunch with you. Ask if you could walk her to class if you have classes close to one another. Separate your hanging time from your alone time. > > Don’t act like your intimidated by A no matter what. Be nice but don’t let her tell you what to do. In a relationship her best friend can be your best asset. So be nice to her, even compliment her in a platonic way and get her on your side. > > When you do go on a date make sure A and B stay home. Remember you want to make it clear its a date. But include them in general hanging out. Its when the friends start to feel left out that trouble occurs. Again you can always invite your own friends to keep them busy. > > Never bad mouth A or B to your girl. Expressing you want to spend time together is fine but girls that age can be funny about their best friends. They’re like security blankets. > > You want to come across as confident. The mones can help you but reading the body language link will not only help you read others BL but enable you to adjust your own body language to convey confidence and other messages about you. Friend A can only intimidate you if you let her 😉 > > Tisha 😮 Wow. Just wow. Usually im really good at coming up with things to say, or just how to solve situations like that. But i guess where im so personally involved in this situation im not exactly thinking straight. OH! and that whole being sweet thing. I got that dialed 😛 I’ve been the “nice guy” since back in the day 😛 Now to answer some of your questions/reply to your statements 🙂 : I feel intimidated by A because… Well i dunno, she’s this little short blonde girl whos sweet and cute 😮 I really dunno… Well, last year when my girl of interest went out with my best friend, but ended up liking me somehow, me her, and B would always hang around in school. And i talk to her outside school and we hang out. I just feel pretty comfortable around her, but, i just never really talked to A. And she’s like this extremely popular cheerleader/volleyball all star/soccer all star. And its just kind of intimidating How should i go about this? Oh, and one of the times i was supposed to go see Saw V with the girl and i was pulling up outside of the mall, i got a text asking if B can come because she feels bad cause she was ditching her for me. So i couldn’t really do anything about that ☹ I couldnt really call any of my buds to come along at that point. But i will keep that in mind for next time, seeings how one of my good buds, Scott, is like best friends with all 3 of those ladies, and he happens to like A, so it works out pretty nicely. But yeah, thanks for the awesome advice Tisha 🙂 And im gonna make sure to try all of this advice out. But! (and i know your probably hating me by now) But! im not usually the shy kind of guy, until. I am around her. So like how should i try and approach her, even though im like terrified of going up to talk to her. Or better yet, make her want to come talk to me? 😮 Thanks so much, Marc~😃 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/12 "2009-03-16T23:35:50Z")
> [@](#): > > And she’s like this extremely popular cheerleader/volleyball all star/soccer all star. And its just kind of intimidating How should i go about this? She cuts the cheese like everybody else, just remember that next time you see her and she wont seem so intimdating next time. I’m serious it works LOL > [@](#): > > But! im not usually the shy kind of guy, until. I am around her. So like how should i try and approach her, even though im like terrified of going up to talk to her. Or better yet, make her want to come talk to me? 😮 Your feeling shy because you like her, its normal. I was under the impression you already hang out so approaching her should not be hard at all. Just walk up and say "hey whats up " Then remember what I told you above about conversations. Statement question statement statement question. Dont over do the questions but you get my point. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Disconnected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Disconnected](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Disconnected)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hey-ladies-please-help-me/26927/13 "2009-03-17T17:11:44Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > She cuts the cheese like everybody else, just remember that next time you see her and she wont seem so intimdating next time. I’m serious it works LOL > > Your feeling shy because you like her, its normal. I was under the impression you already hang out so approaching her should not be hard at all. Just walk up and say "hey whats up " Then remember what I told you above about conversations. Statement question statement statement question. Dont over do the questions but you get my point. > > Tisha AHAHA! Now i jsut gotta try not to laugh next time i see her 😛 But that does help 🙂 Oh, and we do already hang out, just not in school, we’re both just extremely busy people and we try to hang out whenever we can. But she doesn’t like it when i get nervous around her. Im pretty sure it turns her off big time, and she’s used to having guys coming on to her strong. And i got it, question, statement, statement, question. 🙂 thanks tisha aways a pleasure.😃