Gone is on the money about congruence. If you don’t know what congruence is, start here.
You might also want to consider using Ammo along with the Instant Gentleman. You can layer them. For that matter, Ammo with Instant Shine and/or Instant Openness may help both you and your targets.
I highly recommend you read through the sticky threads in the Men’s forum as well as all of the links in Tisha23’s signature (she’s the gift certificate goddess, she’ll pop into this thread.)