# Hi everyone! Would you like to contribute your expert opinion? **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 2, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-everyone-would-you-like-to-contribute-your-expert-opinion/49678 "2011-04-02T17:06:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 2
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-everyone-would-you-like-to-contribute-your-expert-opinion/49678/2 "2011-04-02T20:25:25Z")
> [@fame](#): > > Hi everyone 🙂 I’m a 22 year old female from the land down under. I’m new and, like every new member, could do with a little advice! > > I’ve done quite a bit of research on the products available on Love Scent for women and thought I had it all figured out - then I came to this forum, read about a dozen new products and I’m back to knowing nothing! Your input would really be appreciated. > > Personality wise, I’m outgoing and I win people over through force of personality (I’m sure some people find it too much but meh…) I’m a lesbian and I have some deep-seated issues with women, which cause me to avoid, ridicule, resist their attempts when they approach me on a sexual level. I think they’re probably a little attracted to me due to the jerk factor. I find that they’re intimidated by me due to my personality and the fact that most of my friends are gay men, who intimidate them in general and it also makes them think I’m a straight girl collecting gay guys as bffs. > > I want them to not be intimidated and approach me. I won’t approach them because of my issues, not because of anxiety. I’m not really going to stop hanging out with gay men and “normal” lesbians really don’t like them for some reason. So, something to make me less defensive, appear more receptive and make them more sexually aggressive. > > I considered Primal Instinct but you guys have confused me with recommendations of stuff from [smartmones.com](http://smartmones.com) 😛 Hi, Fame. 🙂 Welcome, sweetie! Glad you found us! Unfortunately there isn’t any product that will do the work for you. Pheromones send signals about you to others but they can’t over ride someones free will. I’d start with Instant Shine and [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/). Instant Shine is uplifting and makes people feel good about being around you. Instant Openness is excellent for easing conversation and making approach easier from both sides, yours and theirs. However, you need to be congruent with the signal you’re sending or you’re not going to see the effects you’re looking for. Translation, you gotta be in sync with the signal your projecting and work it. If you wear IO and just park yourself with your boys it ain’t gonna happen. Approaching you while you’re on your own may be a different story but trying to break into a crowd like that when you’re already intimidated is neigh on impossible for most women/men gay or straight. From your own description of the situation… > [@fame](#): > > \*\*\* I’m a lesbian and I have some deep-seated issues with women, which cause me to avoid, ridicule, resist their attempts when they approach me on a sexual level. I think they’re probably a little attracted to me due to the jerk factor. I find that\*\*\* \*\*\*they’re intimidated by me due to my personality and the fact that most of my friends are gay men, who intimidate them in general and it also makes them think I’m a straight girl collecting gay guys as bffs. \*\*\* Think of it this way… would you approach yourself? They don’t know WTF is up with you because you’re confusing them. And if you spray on anything and continue the same behavior you’re going to be disappointed with any product that you use because it “doesn’t work”.\* You\* have to work first before the product will do it’s stuff. Capisce? [What pheromones can and can't do: realistic expectations for newcomers](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-pheromones-can-do-and-what-they-cant-updated/9558) > [@Congruence? What's That?](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/congruence-whats-that/9805): > > What is congruency? We talk about this alot but do we really do a good job of explaining it to a newbie? Do we really understand what goes into congruency ourselves? I looked up an array of definitions to find one that matched my idea of congruent/congruous/congruence. There is the purely mathematical “congruent figures have the exact same size and shape”. Then there is the more legalizish “Congruence is the degree of match between two codes”. My favorite is “Agreement of character (parameter)”. … If I were in your situation, I’d really try to work on overcoming my issues. I don’t want to get too personal but are you also physically intimidating or is it just your attitude? Frankly, if you wait for them to approach you, you might have a long wait. If you have personal issues that prevent you from getting what you want, that’s what you need to work on because there’s no solution to your problem that comes in a bottle. Damnbit. If you want to appear less defensive and more receptive you actually have to be those things. As far as making women more sexually aggressive, girl, you oughta have this one. Don’tcha know the way to get a girl is through making her feel comfortable\* first?\* Theres’ a lot to be said for creating sexual tension but any smart PUA knows that comfort is the foundation on which you build. Gotta start there first. 😉 Being a “jerk” will only get you so far and only with certain types of women. If you don’t break free of what’s troubling you, you’re never really gonna get in the game. And something tells me you’d be a spectacular player if you’d only help yourself to score. 🙂 I know that’s not what you wanna hear, chica, but that’s the real deal as far as these molecules go. BTW, you don’t scare me. 😃 😉 Bella --- _[View the full topic](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-everyone-would-you-like-to-contribute-your-expert-opinion/49678)._