# Hi, I'm new and seeking advice:) **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [October 7, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-im-new-and-seeking-advice/33088 "2009-10-07T22:08:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kennpear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6bbea6/32.png) [@kennpear](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/kennpear)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-im-new-and-seeking-advice/33088/1 "2009-10-07T22:08:13Z")
I am a male in my 30’s and married, but our sex life has become pretty much perfunctory SOP, two or three times a week, with ME initiating all intimacies. While it has always been my goal to please her as much as myself, and figuring that it is the male’s instinctive pursuit of his own climax that compels his mate’s (as a natural side-effect), her interest seems simply to satisfy me as quickly as possible, so she can get a good night’s REM rest; i.e. serving as little more than a masturbation device, for my exclusive pleasure. The prospect of subtle male [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) enhancing her pleasure, and subsequently encouraging her desire for intimacies seems a promising avenue to explore. While some people seem to regard the use of pheromones as taking an “unfair” advantage, I think they are simply ignoring the multitude of similar devices that we already employ for the same purpose: cologne, perfume, mouthwash, sexy clothing, alcohol, Viagra, etc. IF pheromones WORK, then perhaps advising your partner that you are using them would be no more ”unfair" than her applying a certain perfume, wearing certain lingerie, or sharing certain drinks that one or both of you find exciting. Ultimately, saving the sexuality of a union may be the best, or even ONLY, way of saving the union itself. While I am anxious to try pheromones, the costs for prospective placebos causes me some hesitation, so I am primarily here subsequent to following the offer of an introductory free sample; if they actually work, then there could be no reasonable advantage in NOT ordering further quantities. ---
**Author:** ![desertdove1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@desertdove1967](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/desertdove1967)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-im-new-and-seeking-advice/33088/2 "2009-10-07T22:29:25Z")
Hi! I am a newbie too. What drew me in was the free gift cert. I figure what do I have to lose? I got a great start by not rushing into anything. Read the forums and see which pheros will work for you and what your aiming to do. I searched and read for a few days before I ordered. Now I can’t wait to try them. ---
**Author:** ![desertdove1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@desertdove1967](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/desertdove1967)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-im-new-and-seeking-advice/33088/3 "2009-10-07T22:31:37Z")
Oh and yes, I did tell my husband about my current experiment. However, I won’t tell him when I decide to use them 🙂 this way I can take notes! I don’t think it’s dishonest. If so, then the cosmetic companies are also guilty. Afterall women have used them for years to enhance what they have! So do pheros. ---
**Author:** ![tezza23](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tezza23/32/1375_2.png) [@tezza23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tezza23)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-im-new-and-seeking-advice/33088/4 "2009-10-07T22:34:28Z")
Kennpear, mate, I think you’ve got your work cut out for you here. If she’s just not enjoying sex, every time you have sex with her just reinforces the situation… I’d try [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) and Instant Honesty up first, to try to open the channels of communication and see if you can get some emotional intimacy going. You may also try Turn Up The Heat, which is overtly sexual, but if there’s no intimacy there in the first place, I don’t know if it’ll work. Also, a guy named David Shade wrote a very good book called “Secrets of Female Sexuality” which you can get on Amazon, it’s a good one and may help. Good luck mate. ---
**Author:** ![jamesbonded](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jamesbonded/32/2090_2.png) [@jamesbonded](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jamesbonded)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/hi-im-new-and-seeking-advice/33088/5 "2009-10-08T15:24:02Z")
HI there, Welcome to the forum You are actually having the same situation as many people I know. YOu can try IH and TUTH. IH will get her more intimate. She will talk deeper and more details with you. TUTH will arouse her sexually. I hope it can help you in spicing up your sex life. Good luck