# How attractive are a person's looks? How much do they really matter? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [August 30, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629 "2006-08-30T03:37:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/1 "2006-08-30T03:37:32Z")
> [@](#): > > I have to say something that many may disagree with anyway . > [@](#): > > Its a well accepted fact that people who are “attractive looking” recieve better attention.. if many may disagree, how is this well accepted? who decides who is “attractive” looking? what exactly is _better_ attention? more? some of the most attractive people in the world get very little attention… intimidation may play a part, but i noticed in the “tests” of “symmetrical” people, the ones being tested were basically the same age..i didnt see variance (am i thinking of another test?) . id be curious to know if those people all even went to the same school? point being that people “into” looks find other people “into” looks. you dont find them interested in a beautiful and symmetrical person that is less shallow. why? because the deeper person,reguardless of how beautiful they are on the outside, is also looking for someone with more substance. so you wont find pretty people with other pretty people, you find people who can tolerate personality traits and looks are the secondary filter for all that may come up. by the way,one of the hottest guys i have ever seen is diabetic. obviously not healthier, and im just going by sight… 😮 not all of our beautiful celebs are healthier,either! ---
**Author:** ![Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bunny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bunny)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/2 "2006-08-30T08:02:51Z")
Lor, I think we already established that those of us over thirty here, put looks WAY down the scale, and as you know, I agree with everything you say. All I will say is this, those under thirty WILL come to realise in time that looks fade, and it is what is essentially INSIDE a person, that makes them attractive. The complete package if you will - not merely the outer wrapping.. Ail 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nbully79](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c68b51/32.png) [@nbully79](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nbully79)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/3 "2006-08-30T12:54:16Z")
> [@New to the forum and some questions](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/new-to-the-forum-and-some-questions/621/5): > > Lets just put it this way. I have a brother who body builds and he is ripped. He turns alot of girls heads.. including those who have “depth.” I’m saying this because alot of people seem to discount looks, even though subconsciously they know they are attracted to it. Also he is far from a shallow person, though thats another topic. =) Rob, couldn’t agree with you more! I have seen the shallowest stupidest guys get a whole lot of attention just because of their good looks, even from women obviously older than 30.😛 What Ail and Lor here have mentioned, I guess is in the sense of relationship and friendship for long term where communication is involved. That’s when these guys lose out and are booted out despite their good looks. But you know what happens next. Their heads turn again for yet another attractive guy. The previous experiences doesn’t turn them off from attractive guys altogether, thankfully!🙂 (As we all know not all attractive guys are stupid or shallow, some have really well formed personalities.) Everyone is looking for a partner who is attractive. You need other qualities too but if you don’t pass the visual test you don’t even get a chance to show your other magnificent personality traits. Also from previous researches, attractive people (symmetrical people) produce [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) in quantities and ratios which are attractive to opposite sex. As far as I have understood, I think we are trying to use pheromones to match the signature (ratios) of a naturally attractive person. But we use it in much higher amounts than what occurs naturally, so when the right ratio for you clicks, the impact is usually (much) higher than what any non-pheromoned person can garner. ---
**Author:** ![Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bunny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bunny)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/4 "2006-08-30T15:03:57Z")
No, that’s not what we mean, but I think Lor and I fight a constant losing battle over this one. It really only is a wisdom that comes with age - much as I LOATHE to say that, it’s definitely true. What I WILL say is this, my SO is drop-dead gorgeous - seriously. He is also seven years younger than me, highly intelligent and has a dry wit and GSOH like you would not believe, and no kidding, I KNOW just how much I am blessed in this way. However, he could have his face burned off totally in a fire tomorrow (The Gods forbid..), lose a limb, or anything of that ilk, and need looked after for the rest of time - and I would STILL love him as much as I do, because it is what’s INSIDE him that counts, and no, I was not originally attracted to his looks, because he was my best friend for almost 10 years purely platonically before we got together, and I used to spend my nights out clubbing with him, trying to match-make for him! As I said, you will find out in time that everything, as we get older, changes, the balance of what is, and is not important shifts, and all of a sudden you will understand. Ail 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/5 "2006-08-30T15:38:15Z")
> [@Ail](#): > > No, that’s not what we mean, but I think Lor and I fight a constant losing battle over this one. Ail, your favourite subject is up … There is no battles to win or lose, as everyone is different regardless of age or gender, have their own preferences … that is a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bunny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bunny)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/6 "2006-08-30T15:42:32Z")
Well yes Mak, but while there is no real battle to be won, it is incredibly annoying that Lor and I are constantly beaten down when we say that looks DO become something that is WAY down the food-chain of importance when considering what is and is not attractive, as we get older. ..because it really is, and that is the opinion of ALL of my friends over 30 - both male and female. Ail 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/7 "2006-08-30T16:06:00Z")
Ail, from the people I know .. Half the 30’s and 40’s ladies that I know turn their heads to see a hunk’s bum, which they call entertainment. But, if they actively feel interest or attraction to a man, they state the ‘manly’ personality and sense of humour, sometimes ‘being different, unique’. Then comes looks. For men same age, high on their list comes what I wouldn’t call ‘looks’, rather ‘sexyness’, maybe ‘female-ness’, if there is such a word. Personality, humour, reliability come high as well. When younger, it was just looks. With age, that word grew to contain more. ---
**Author:** ![Rbt](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rbt/32/2066_2.png) [@Rbt](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rbt)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/8 "2006-08-31T02:05:35Z")
If I may interject a thought or two: From what I’ve seen in my 50+ years is that looks DO have an influence on a woman’s reaction to a guy. There is no doubt in my mind. But after the “first impression” the _importance_ of physical looks can diminish. I say “can” because another element in my mind is not the physical calendar-based “age-type” maturity, but also _emotional_ maturity. They do not always go hand in hand. And that emotianal maturity can be influenced by experience. I say this because I know of one over 30 woman who I know fairly well who seems to be stuck in “high-school” mode. The calendar says 30+, but emotionally and experience wise she is still pretty much a teeny-bopper. She’s only had ONE real relationship in her life. And it wasn’t the best. She still seems to judge on looks and keeps going into “crush mode” more than any real what I would call adult relationship mode. She talks of wanting a “relationship,” but what guy is going to stick around if they visit her place and find the walls plastered with posters and pictures and stand-ups of certain movie characters? And it’s not the actors she is hot about, it’s the FICTIONAL characters they portray. And they all pretty much share similar PHYSICAL traits (and she seems to talk about them in terms of those traits). Okay she is probably an exception. But here is someone who I don’t think is judging by a real “inner character.” It’s the FICTIONAL MADE-UP “character” in the theatrical sense of the word she is attracted to. And in fiction (movies, plays, even literature), the outer appearance of a character is often tailored to fit the “inner” character as part of the way of communicating that information to an audience in the short time given to tell the story to an audience. Perhaps, for a less “mature” individual girl/woman, looks (physical appearance) and the “imagined” inner character that is created drives the “attraction.” But a transition to judging by more than looks, by the “real” inner character occurs can be something that comes late, if at all, and based on a variety of factors, not just calendar years. Whew… That’s my rant for the day… Must be winter setting in… ---
**Author:** ![Rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@Rob](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rob)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/9 "2006-08-31T02:23:21Z")
lol. You see someone “physically” attractive looking… and so you feel some sort of physical attraction. Everyone knows 1st impressions count.. thats the reason people show their best at interviews and dress up… heck… it is the reason women are so conscious of making themselves look good all the time, because they instinctively know the reality of how things normally work. The older people get, the more physical attractive qualities they begin to lose… so obviously they are going to favor things like personality more and smart things more. Then again of course there is always someone that is an exception to the rule. Thanks for understanding Mak.. yes even older peoples heads will turn if they find something attractive looking enough. You wear pheremones to create a nice impression on someones sense of smell.. well.. so you also would want to “look” attractive to make an impression on someones sense of sight. To take into account.. our sense of sight is one of our most dominant senses. ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/10 "2006-08-31T05:36:55Z")
No worries. After looks, should I bring up next the debate if money counts ? That was a joke, don’t get any ideas .. ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 12:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/11 "2006-08-31T12:41:51Z")
Fair ? No… Substantial. ?.. often not… but generally true… yes… Deny it or accept it… we are an appearance based society… and just as often poor relational decisions are made on the basis of appearance… now, probably the beautiful have less developed characters because their looks have done most of the work for them… and they will be more obsessed with the power of visual attraction, more fearful of losing it… great narcissistic anxiety… ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/12 "2006-08-31T14:22:10Z")
it is not a coincidence that only the men feel that they must have muscles to compete with other men. i cant even wait till they dont have muscles (lol that day will come) and they will STILL get girls. when they continue to get girls and have no more muscles, they will suddenly think “ahhhhh this is what ail and lor meant when they said looks dont come first” but by that time they will be older…wiser… and the same arguement will be started agin in a similar forum somewhere far far away… LOL!!! here again, women say to the men “if only you knew that we see handsome muscley men every freakin day that try to woo us, and its still you we pursue” and the guys retort "oh no, you love me for my muscles and my wallet(or whatever,its just an example) " and we giggle to ourselves and think “oh hell no, he thinks hes _all that_, isnt he cute???” when the real reason any man is attractive first and foremost is his opinion of his own worthiness. and unfortunately for the gender at this time, they feel it equates with the gym. :😔: so be it. just like some women feel their beauty is equated with how dreadfully skinny they can make themselves, and even when their men say no no i love you for YOU, they think “yeah, but you’ll REALLY love me when i lose even MORE weight!” you all sound as if something like an accident- where you all became somehow disfigured - were to happen, you would all be in the toilet. oh wait- heres a thought! the women you would attract THEN would actually have values… is it possible Ail, they are trying desperately to attract only ONE kind of woman… the kind that also think without looks they cannot compete… and so **the attention of any other woman is not even on their radar?** if i were trying to get the attention of _just_ the shallow, i would behave as such. for me, attitude is ageless, personality has no dollar sign, and the sexiest man EVER does not try in this desparate way to say “pleeeeeze look at me!” ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/13 "2006-08-31T14:34:27Z")
I’m speaking for myself and a handful of others i know well, not for everyone. I like women with looks .. I like women with personality more. Personality is the decision factor for me. To give an example: A woman with looks is eye candy, I look at, then explore the personality. None there ?, I move on, as I have more things to want. A woman who is with normal, ‘tidy’ looks, and good personality, is the one I’d romance til no end. I give and I know I shall receive. How a woman looks never made the decision for me, it was her personality that did. I liked her, looking at her normal, tidy looks, and because of her great personality, I enjoyed her company in every possible way. Just speaking of myself and few others … Others can have different scales of course, which is just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/14 "2006-08-31T14:48:25Z")
> [@Mak](#): > > I’m speaking for myself and a handful of others i know well, not for everyone. > > I like women with looks .. I like women with personality more. Personality is the decision factor for me. To give an example: > > A woman with looks is eye candy, I look at, then explore the personality. None there ?, I move on, as I have more things to want. > > A woman who is with normal, ‘tidy’ looks, and good personality, is the one I’d romance til no end. I give and I know I shall receive. > > How a woman looks never made the decision for me, it was her personality that did. I liked her, looking at her normal, tidy looks, and because of her great personality, I enjoyed her company in every possible way. > > Just speaking of myself and few others … Others can have different scales of course, which is just fine. oh i hear you,mak- personality is always the deciding factor. the reason this became a big to-do is that looks for men get a woman’s foot in the door to explore the personality apparently, according to the men here. but- for women, handsome is a dime a dozen. we are not so easy. the reason men try so hard is because we DO NOT go by looks, they think if they do what they want us to do, they will get their foot in the door. we do not hop into bed with every handsome guy that gives us attention. well, maybe the majority wont … if it were “looks first”, i would have gotten some this morning… then he says daaaamn, yer perdier than hell! haha… looks do not get a mans foot in the door. and when looks DO count, which we use to whittle-down the interesting ones, its still because your interesting that looks will mirror that. thanks for being a sport here, mak. debating should be fun and in the spirit of " agree to disagree" im stating that i definately disagree AS A WOMAN, that how a guy looks is how sex begins for me. my life would definately be more disco.🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/15 "2006-08-31T15:07:58Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > if it were “looks first”, i would have gotten some this morning… > then he says daaaamn, yer perdier than hell! haha… “Then he spoke”, I see .. . Was that english ? > [@Lor](#): > > thanks for being a sport here, mak. debating should be fun and in the spirit of " agree to disagree" > im stating that i definately disagree AS A WOMAN, that how a guy looks is how sex begins for me. my life would definately be more disco.🙄 What I tried to allude to in post was that I’ve no interest or time for a beaut princess that all she has is that, her looks and figure. I’d rather spend my little time with someone who is fun, can talk, real and genuine. That is much more rewarding. As for myself, I need no looks or pheros to get her attention. I only need to be tidy looks wise, and normal self personality wise. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/16 "2006-08-31T15:18:06Z")
i believe the gentleman (?) that tried to communicate with me spoke hillbilly. normally i would not have noticed him except he was ballsy enough to speak - confidence is SEXAY- but uh, so is word-choice. i find him alot sexier than the guys admiring themselves in a mirror,though…lol i dont think anyone really _needs_ pheromones… but they are soooo much freakin’ fun! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/17 "2006-08-31T15:26:17Z")
Phero’s are great, such fun, always reminding me of Jean telling Tarzan how he never showers while she hugs him !. ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/18 "2006-08-31T15:49:47Z")
From a cranky old man’s point of view… Now that 40 year old women strike me as a bit unfinished… and you seriously have to imagine what human knowledge will be like if we can survive in good health to 120 or so… when we shift our understanding of maturity to 70 or 80 years as the beginning of wisdom… here in the world’s great metropolis I have swirling around me so many women obsessed with their physicality… so taken with the gorgeous young male model types, and in a desperate search for both a soul mate and a financially solid platinum card kinda guy who will take care of them… often they hope to sort things out with quickie “transformative experiences” like intense weekends of mind scrambling seminars, fad diets, spending a fortune on hair streaking.. like I know one woman perpetually in debt who needs, like she needs oxygen, to have her hair perfectly streaked to photogenic nuance, last time I asked this streaking cost her $600 USD per visit and took easily half a day… and, sure, it looks like a $600 streak job but it hasn’t landed her the guy of her dreams… but appearances must be maintained and all of that, you know… the gyms, yoga studios, etc.. are packed before and after work with the physically obsessed, must have the calf muscled just so, the thigh in balance with the calf, the buttocks strong, not baloonish… matched only by our metrosexuals… real consciousness, real body awareness, real learning is gradual, it needs expert guidance, a lifelong process, not a substance injected into the ventricles of the brain or implanted here and there… and how strange, for every 1000 that are practically killing themselves, maybe 1, on a lucky day, could discuss the writing of Yukio Mishima or Kenzaburo Oe or the film of Makavajev or Robert Kaplan’s observations about geography and human nature or much of anything really except the most superficial layers of popular culture… so how does one make a life, or a simple conversation with another person without the deep cultural bedrock of shared knowledge to build that conversation, or that life on ? ---
**Author:** ![Mak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@Mak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mak)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/19 "2006-08-31T15:58:02Z")
I’d say, know what you want, believe in yourself and in others, be genuine and have fun living your life. That will show on you, and similar people will be attracted to you. ---
**Author:** ![Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bunny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bunny)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629/20 "2006-08-31T16:02:23Z")
… Un…FINISHED??? Okay Lor, since I’m not a kick in the teeth off 40, I better go and check this one out with “The Man” - who is seven years younger than me, as you know.. ..back later. …seething to BURSTING point right now… Ail ☹ [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-attractive-are-a-persons-looks-how-much-do-they-really-matter/629.md?page=2)