# How do you know if you are getting a hit? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [June 28, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975 "2011-06-28T02:25:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JMaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2acd7d/32.png) [@JMaw](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/JMaw)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/1 "2011-06-28T02:25:00Z")
This not really related to [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) but it involves some pick up stuff, I was at a very loud dance party, and I sat down on a couch next to a pretty girl. Its a somewhat long couch and I didn’t sit right next to her or anything. I was just taking a break from dancing, wasn’t trying to hit on her, but she scrooted over and started talking to me 😃 So we had a nice long 30 minute conversation and I found out that she actually likes a lot of the stuff I did. She mentioned that she was sitting there because she was waiting for someone who promised her Extacy. Of course that someone never showed up. But after a while I feel like we ran out of small talk, but being kinda bad with woman I don’t really know how to proceed, I tried to get her to dance with me but she wasn’t really into it. So I figured oh well, I had a good run and wandered off. 10 minutes later she came back to find me! After some shady looking guy gave her a tablet of extacy lol. She was being very touchy feely and basically throw herself on me. I know it wasn’t the drug because she just took it and it shouldn’t start working for another 30 minutes or so. So yeah I told myself I guess this girl is into me or something, and before you know it we were on the couch talking again giving each other sensual little massages. I was really enjoying the moment thinking this might be one of those crazy spontaneous sexual adventures. This girl was from out of town visiting my school, trying to pick whether to come here or go to New York for grad school (she is 24 and older than me), so I didn’t really try to pursue anything long term. I was planning on showing her this really cool romantic spot I know overlooking the ocean with beautiful city lights in reflected in the water, and then try to see if I could get her back to my place 😛. We went dancing again and this time she seemed much more into it. But then everything started going wrong. She said she didn’t like the style of music playing, so trying to be a cool guy, I told her I’ll tell to DJ to play something we both like cause we talked about music earlier. As I was talking to the DJ, the shady dude who gave her the pill came over to talk to her. Not wanting to seem like a jealous asshole with a girl I just met, I just hanged back, thinking if she really likes me I should have nothing to worry about. But then the other guy led her to the other dance floor. I didn’t want to follow because I don’t wanna look like a stalker, so I stayed back again. But she didn’t come back, and when I went to the other dance floor 10 minutes later to “casually” scout out what’s going on, they were MAKING OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR! And she ended up going home with him… I mean WTF? Did I miss something here? Or was that guy just that good? I once seen a documentary about attraction, and it talks about how some girls would give a guy she just met more IOIs than she actually feels as a test to see how he would react. Did I fail that test or something? What would you guys have done in my situation? Is there any pheromones that coulda helped there? ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/2 "2011-06-28T04:19:56Z")
Be sure to read the stickies in all the forum sections. 😉 > [@How do I know if I am getting hits !!](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-i-know-if-i-am-getting-hits/14192): > > Its a question we all ask at some point… The very first thing to do when you begin to think about purchasing pheromones is to start observing people before you use them. Ask yourself what are peoples normal general reaction to you and others around you. Are they open and friendly ? Are they intimidated ? Do they acknowledge your presence ? Do strangers generally talk to you ? Are people in a great mood when hanging around you ? Do people treat you with respect ? Are guy/girls open to you… Whoops forgot to post the rest LOL > [@](#): > > I mean WTF? Did I miss something here? Or was that guy just that good? You missed your opportunity. You let another guy lead her away. She seemed to feel safe comfortable and connected with you but you didn’t make your move. The drug she took played its part and that other a-hole that gave it to her took advantage of that. Its probably why he gave it to her to begin with. Leaving your target unattended is not a good thing until you establish something more concrete. When you went to talk to the DJ you should have led her over there with you. I am border line on whether you should have stopped the guy. Drugs were involved so you dont know his state. [Pheromone](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) could help a little but you would still have to take the lead. Edit to add \>\>\>\> Oh Good Rad has got you covered. Pay attention, he’s a smart man 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/3 "2011-06-28T04:27:37Z")
Got some up and down moments here so I hope you don’t mind a little play by play breakdown. > [@JMaw](#): > > This not really related to pheromones but it involves some pick up stuff, > > I was at a very loud dance party, and I sat down on a couch next to a pretty girl. > > Its a somewhat long couch and I didn’t sit right next to her or anything. > > I was just taking a break from dancing, wasn’t trying to hit on her, but she scrooted over and started talking to me 😃 OK I’m gonna tell you right now, YES she was not only interested but VERY interested. Usually even when a woman is attracted to a guy, the most she will do is throw some subtle signs of interest in the hopes that he’s socially intelligent enough to take the hint and open a conversation with her. Women will rarely make the first move. There’s a hundred reasons why they don’t, but when they do, you probably made a good impression. > [@](#): > > So we had a nice long 30 minute conversation and I found out that she actually likes a lot of the stuff I did. She mentioned that she was sitting there because she was waiting for someone who promised her Extacy. Of course that someone never showed up. > > But after a while I feel like we ran out of small talk, but being kinda bad with woman I don’t really know how to proceed, I tried to get her to dance with me but she wasn’t really into it. I hope you didn’t make a point of pointing out your commonalities. While in the situation whatever you did up to this point was ok, as a general rule you don’t want to be “You like that? I like that too, wow we have so much in common” guy. Now running out of things to say can be a bear. But really you should never run out of things to say. Randomly take turns pointing out people in the location and play “Marry Fuck Kill” or for something less disturbing, you can simply point out somebody and say “OK, what do you think her story is” and make up biographies for people you see. Another game is to find two people (mixed set preferred) and fill in the dialogue of the conversation you can see but not hear. It’s fun, silly, playful and creates a sense of an “us” moment. Other activities and convo savers are palm reading, and thumb wrestling. If those seem to cliche you can come up with a variation but the advantages are that the thumb wrestling helps open kino, and the palm reading does that PLUS creates a sense of “wow this guy seems to really understand me” Future pacing: Jokingly throw out comments about how her dad will probably hate you, but that your mom will absolutely love her. (be careful with this one, the wrong voice inflection or facial expression can make it seem like you’re too serious about it and creep her out) done right it’s fun and light but plants a seed in her head where she’s forced to envision things like meeting the parents etc. Second point, is to change locations frequently. This also helps create a time distortion. An entire evening on a sofa is an entire evening on a sofa. A little time lounging on the sofa, followed by a little time leaning against the bar, followed by going outside for a smoke, followed by etc etc etc. each location becomes compartmentalized as a separate occasion in her mind. > [@](#): > > So I figured oh well, I had a good run and wandered off. > > 10 minutes later she came back to find me! After some shady looking guy gave her a tablet of extacy lol. She was being very touchy feely and basically throw herself on me. I know it wasn’t the drug because she just took it and it shouldn’t start working for another 30 minutes or so. > > So yeah I told myself I guess this girl is into me or something, and before you know it we were on the couch talking again giving each other sensual little massages. I was really enjoying the moment thinking this might be one of those crazy spontaneous sexual adventures. This girl was from out of town visiting my school, trying to pick whether to come here or go to New York for grad school (she is 24 and older than me), so I didn’t really try to pursue anything long term. I was planning on showing her this really cool romantic spot I know overlooking the ocean with beautiful city lights in reflected in the water, and then try to see if I could get her back to my place 😛. No offense bro, but even when you’re not considering a woman for an LTR it seems you still feel like idealizing them. This is a girl that was throwing herself at you from the get go, dancing and trading massages, was now about to start feeling the effects from ecstasy and you felt the need to romance her. If anything that would send her the message that you’re trying to show your “boyfriend quality” traits. Believe it or not sometimes women are just after sex and it seems this was one of those girls and one of those times. In your mind you were trying to think of ways to romance and seduce a woman that had already shown you that you didn’t need to do that. This communicates a couple of bad things. First, that even when she treats you as being higher status (her opening you instead of waiting for you to do the opening says that…women open on celebrities, movie stars, sports heroes etc. not everyday Joe average) you still feel like you should treat her as being higher value than you. Second, you not escalating says you either are not that interested (bad) or you’re not used to women showing that they want you sexually…if you’re not used to it, it must not happen often, if it doesn’t happen often…why not? (VERY bad) > [@](#): > > We went dancing again and this time she seemed much more into it. But then everything started going wrong. She said she didn’t like the style of music playing, so trying to be a cool guy, I told her I’ll tell to DJ to play something we both like cause we talked about music earlier. Personally this could have been handled one of two ways. The first and easiest for “rookies” (I hate terms like that but yeah) would be to use that as an opportunity for extraction. "You know, you’re right, we should totally go to this other place I know about, the music is awesome. (remember the changing locations thing I mentioned?) The second, is riskier if you don’t know how to do it and seem congruent with it. Is to break rapport with her in a way that makes her feel like she’s losing you. “WOW, we got music, lights, booze, X, and fun people all around and you’re actually finding a reason to be negative? And here all this time I thought you were a fun girl” Risky as hell I admit, but when done right and you hold your frame if she’s actually attracted the idea of losing your attraction by being a negative complainer will put that to rest. For you, I’d advise the first tactic. What was wrong with the second…it’s painfully obvious to anyone including her that you feel the need to try and impress her…again after she’s already shown you that you HAVE her attraction. It’s like you’re in the huddle trying to call the next play after the game is won and you should be raising the trophy over your head. > [@](#): > > As I was talking to the DJ, the shady dude who gave her the pill came over to talk to her. Not wanting to seem like a jealous asshole with a girl I just met, I just hanged back, thinking if she really likes me I should have nothing to worry about. But then the other guy led her to the other dance floor. I didn’t want to follow because I don’t wanna look like a stalker, so I stayed back again. But she didn’t come back, and when I went to the other dance floor 10 minutes later to “casually” scout out what’s going on, they were MAKING OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR! And she ended up going home with him… A lot of guys make this mistake. PUA guru’s will often say to disqualify yourself as a potential suitor. They suggest negs and IOD’s to show the woman that you’re not totally hooked yet. To a degree and under most circumstances this is true. But not being desperate is not the same as not being attracted and not being the kind of man that see’s what he wants and goes for it. In the M3 model, SHE showed her interest by being the one to open. And for the most part it sounds like you kept her in A2 (the stage of building attraction for you, in her) and only lightly touched on A3 (showing her that she’s winning you over and that you’re starting to feel attraction for her for reasons other than her looks) Shady guy may have been shady, but she had been throwing signs of her interest at you all night with little in return. Eventually she’s going to want some validation and sign that she’s a desirable woman. Shady guy had masculine intent. Between being in the club with all the contributing ambiance that it does and being under the influence she was “in state” and you didn’t capitalize. She chased you to the point where she was probably pretty determined that she was gonna get some tonight no matter what and he came in and was willing to pick up what you dropped on the ground. > [@](#): > > I mean WTF? Did I miss something here? Or was that guy just that good? I once seen a documentary about attraction, and it talks about how some girls would give a guy she just met more IOIs than she actually feels as a test to see how he would react. Did I fail that test or something? > > What would you guys have done in my situation? Is there any pheromones that coulda helped there? In my opinion, no, no mones would have helped you because all mones would do is communicate something attractive about you to spark her interest. Her interest was already there, whether by mones, looks, or whatever you had her hooked and hooked a long time. She opened you not once but twice…that’s about all the IOI’s you need, she was attracted. You needed to register that, and show that you’re not afraid to LEAD the interaction to a place where you both wanted to go. Escalation, isolation, extraction etc. Honestly if she was on X, you could have probably skipped most of the comfort phase. A girl like this would probably be very responsive to an RSD style of game (not my personal style for various reasons) But yeah, basically she was waiting for you to show her that she’s an attractive woman and that you are a “go getter” type of guy. Shady dude did that and that’s why she left with him. ---
**Author:** ![JMaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2acd7d/32.png) [@JMaw](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/JMaw)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/4 "2011-06-28T06:31:50Z")
Tisha you are right Rad does know what he is talking about. @ Rad, Holy!@#$ that’s a lot of information to absorb, thanks for the play by play man, the extraction idea is golden. But how do you know that she has enough attraction for you to proceed to A3? What exactly is A3 anyway? And how do you proceed to A3? I’m not very experienced in the PUA department :\ P.S. > [@](#): > > Another game is to find two people (mixed set preferred) and fill in the dialogue of the conversation you can see but not hear. It’s fun, silly, playful and creates a sense of an “us” moment. Haha I love this game, will definitely try to play it next time ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/5 "2011-06-29T05:07:56Z")
No offense but I’ve made a lot of posts breaking down the basics of the Mystery Method style model and I fear that another will make the regulars here decide to string me up. So without giving a detailed breakdown of the whole thing. A=attraction stage, ideally you want to get the woman feeling at least SOME attraction toward you before you start showing attraction toward her. Mainly because if she’s an attractive woman, she probably gets told that several times a night, every night she goes out. You ever find out through the grapevine that a girl you weren’t interested in had crush on you? Notice how at most it made you feel a little awkward and uncomfortable around her because you didn’t want to give her the wrong idea? OK same with women. If the first thing you communicate is that you find her attractive, well for one, that’s shallow, she didn’t earn that by doing anything more special than choosing the right parents. Secondly since she already knows that on some level you’re after something, now everything you do or say is viewed through the lenses of her “knowing” what you want. This isn’t the case with your situation. Again, women rarely open and rarer still for them to follow up and reestablish communication and escalate the way she did. So she started A1 (opening) and you were already VERY solidly in A2 (established attraction IN her, FOR you) Unless you left some stuff out it doesn’t sound like you did much to make sure she felt that you were attracted to her, which you should do (conditionally). For future reference, once the girl has given you a few signs (they’re usually going to be more subtle than in the above situation) that she’s interested in you, then you can show her with some compliments and comments that you’re interested in her. Now when I said “conditionally” earlier what I meant was that you still have to be alert for “shit testing” Sometimes if a woman is attracted to a guy she may tease you or occasionally throw some negativity at you to make sure you have a backbone and pair between your legs. At that point you stop showing interest, you don’t want to communicate that once she has your interest that you’ll follow her around and tolerate disrespectful behavior just in the hopes of keeping her around. A good one would have been when she found you and opened you the second time to give her a little bit of a puzzled look, and say something along the lines of “You know what, you’re actually kinda cute, tell you what, I promise not to abandon you anymore tonight.” You’re acknowledging an attraction toward her, but not in a cheesy “oh my god you’re like the most gorgeous girl here” sorta way, you express an interest in spending more time with her, but in a way that doesn’t make you look clingy and actually almost makes it sound like doing her a favor, but in such a playful way that she can’t really get mad at you for it. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Gslinger](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/johnny_gslinger/32/748_2.png) [@Johnny\_Gslinger](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Johnny_Gslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/6 "2011-07-01T21:19:30Z")
Why isn’t the nominate button not appearing! > [@RADMAN513](#): > > Got some up and down moments here so I hope you don’t mind a little play by play breakdown. > > OK I’m gonna tell you right now, YES she was not only interested but VERY interested. Usually even when a woman is attracted to a guy, the most she will do is throw some subtle signs of interest in the hopes that he’s socially intelligent enough to take the hint and open a conversation with her. Women will rarely make the first move. There’s a hundred reasons why they don’t, but when they do, you probably made a good impression. > > I hope you didn’t make a point of pointing out your commonalities. While in the situation whatever you did up to this point was ok, as a general rule you don’t want to be “You like that? I like that too, wow we have so much in common” guy. > Now running out of things to say can be a bear. But really you should never run out of things to say. > Randomly take turns pointing out people in the location and play “Marry Fuck Kill” or for something less disturbing, you can simply point out somebody and say “OK, what do you think her story is” and make up biographies for people you see. Another game is to find two people (mixed set preferred) and fill in the dialogue of the conversation you can see but not hear. It’s fun, silly, playful and creates a sense of an “us” moment. > > Other activities and convo savers are palm reading, and thumb wrestling. If those seem to cliche you can come up with a variation but the advantages are that the thumb wrestling helps open kino, and the palm reading does that PLUS creates a sense of “wow this guy seems to really understand me” > > Future pacing: Jokingly throw out comments about how her dad will probably hate you, but that your mom will absolutely love her. (be careful with this one, the wrong voice inflection or facial expression can make it seem like you’re too serious about it and creep her out) done right it’s fun and light but plants a seed in her head where she’s forced to envision things like meeting the parents etc. > > Second point, is to change locations frequently. This also helps create a time distortion. An entire evening on a sofa is an entire evening on a sofa. A little time lounging on the sofa, followed by a little time leaning against the bar, followed by going outside for a smoke, followed by etc etc etc. each location becomes compartmentalized as a separate occasion in her mind. > > No offense bro, but even when you’re not considering a woman for an LTR it seems you still feel like idealizing them. This is a girl that was throwing herself at you from the get go, dancing and trading massages, was now about to start feeling the effects from ecstasy and you felt the need to romance her. If anything that would send her the message that you’re trying to show your “boyfriend quality” traits. Believe it or not sometimes women are just after sex and it seems this was one of those girls and one of those times. In your mind you were trying to think of ways to romance and seduce a woman that had already shown you that you didn’t need to do that. This communicates a couple of bad things. > First, that even when she treats you as being higher status (her opening you instead of waiting for you to do the opening says that…women open on celebrities, movie stars, sports heroes etc. not everyday Joe average) you still feel like you should treat her as being higher value than you. > Second, you not escalating says you either are not that interested (bad) or you’re not used to women showing that they want you sexually…if you’re not used to it, it must not happen often, if it doesn’t happen often…why not? (VERY bad) > > Personally this could have been handled one of two ways. The first and easiest for “rookies” (I hate terms like that but yeah) would be to use that as an opportunity for extraction. "You know, you’re right, we should totally go to this other place I know about, the music is awesome. (remember the changing locations thing I mentioned?) > > The second, is riskier if you don’t know how to do it and seem congruent with it. Is to break rapport with her in a way that makes her feel like she’s losing you. “WOW, we got music, lights, booze, X, and fun people all around and you’re actually finding a reason to be negative? And here all this time I thought you were a fun girl” > Risky as hell I admit, but when done right and you hold your frame if she’s actually attracted the idea of losing your attraction by being a negative complainer will put that to rest. For you, I’d advise the first tactic. > > What was wrong with the second…it’s painfully obvious to anyone including her that you feel the need to try and impress her…again after she’s already shown you that you HAVE her attraction. > It’s like you’re in the huddle trying to call the next play after the game is won and you should be raising the trophy over your head. > > A lot of guys make this mistake. PUA guru’s will often say to disqualify yourself as a potential suitor. They suggest negs and IOD’s to show the woman that you’re not totally hooked yet. To a degree and under most circumstances this is true. But not being desperate is not the same as not being attracted and not being the kind of man that see’s what he wants and goes for it. > > In the M3 model, SHE showed her interest by being the one to open. And for the most part it sounds like you kept her in A2 (the stage of building attraction for you, in her) and only lightly touched on A3 (showing her that she’s winning you over and that you’re starting to feel attraction for her for reasons other than her looks) > > Shady guy may have been shady, but she had been throwing signs of her interest at you all night with little in return. Eventually she’s going to want some validation and sign that she’s a desirable woman. Shady guy had masculine intent. Between being in the club with all the contributing ambiance that it does and being under the influence she was “in state” and you didn’t capitalize. She chased you to the point where she was probably pretty determined that she was gonna get some tonight no matter what and he came in and was willing to pick up what you dropped on the ground. > > In my opinion, no, no mones would have helped you because all mones would do is communicate something attractive about you to spark her interest. Her interest was already there, whether by mones, looks, or whatever you had her hooked and hooked a long time. > She opened you not once but twice…that’s about all the IOI’s you need, she was attracted. You needed to register that, and show that you’re not afraid to LEAD the interaction to a place where you both wanted to go. > Escalation, isolation, extraction etc. Honestly if she was on X, you could have probably skipped most of the comfort phase. A girl like this would probably be very responsive to an RSD style of game (not my personal style for various reasons) But yeah, basically she was waiting for you to show her that she’s an attractive woman and that you are a “go getter” type of guy. Shady dude did that and that’s why she left with him. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-you-are-getting-a-hit/50975/7 "2011-07-01T21:33:03Z")
> [@Johnny\_Gslinger](#): > > Why isn’t the nominate button not appearing! You cant nominate in the lounge because its for subjects not related to pheromones. Tisha