# how to make him like me again ? please help me :(

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [July 21, 2015, 4:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695 "2015-07-21T04:51:42Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![novasarah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c68b51/32.png) [@novasarah](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/novasarah)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 4:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695/1 "2015-07-21T04:51:42Z")

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Hey! My name is Jessica

Been reading here for pretty long and it has helped me a lot. Now I’m hoping you guys can help me out again with my first post.

I decided to try online dating and found an amazing man living in another city 45 min away from me. We’ve been speaking for about a month and I’ve figured that he’s definitely a man of my life. At first I had a great game and was even impressed by myself. But the more I talked to him and got more comfortable.

**Date 1** : Took a walk, he guided me around her city  
**Date 2** : Dinner  
**Date 3** : he took the train to my city and we discovered Stockholm together, then dinner. All the time holding hands. We finished the date with cinema, but we kissed more than looking at the actual movie.

As usual I sent a message after the date saying “Had a great time, I want to see you again soon”. He suggested that I should come visit him then, so 3 days later I did.

**Date 4** : First took a walk then movie at his place. His mother called and he answered “I’m with Jes, talk later”. That means he had mentioned me to his mother? Probably good? During the movie we started making out. We didn’t go further though. At 00:00 I left cause I knew he was going up early and me too (Tuesday). I sent him a text saying “Hope to see u soon )\<3”. He replied “Of course! and a kiss smiley”.

Our next conversation was on snapchat. I commented on his story, wished him a great weekend (went to visit his friend)

I was a bit surprised that he didn’t text me like he used to, so sent him a “thinking about you” on Sunday evening when I knew he’d be home. he replied with just a smiley and asked if I had a great weekend. The conversation continued, but he was a bit cold and not as flirty as he used to be. I invited him to my place and told him I’d try to beat his friend in the MasterChef challenge.

Here comes the problem. He denied and said he was busy whole week with studies. He didn’t say that he wanted to see me, but not that he didn’t want to see me either. I continued the conversation a bit and he replied even though I didn’t ask questions, but still cold.

**I’ve probably fucked up totally. My current plan is to not text him in a week and see what happens. Fellas! Please give me some tips, because I really like this man and don’t want to blow it! Don’t tell me It’s too late.**

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**Author:** ![NoahValentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@NoahValentine](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/NoahValentine)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 4:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695/2 "2015-07-21T04:53:08Z")

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I agree in my mind with idea that he needs to feel validated by having you “Chase” him. The fact that he is always running off, waiting for you to run after him to make things better… This is not a trait of a mature man. It’s not okay to make you feel like you are always the one to make amends, and give him reassurance. It almost seems like a game to him to see how far he can push you without you leaving.

For him to refuse to return your texts/calls for so long, and then finally respond as though you are annoying him is childish and just plain rude. Is this really your ideal man?

You are absolutely right **is to not text him in a week and see what happens** , but if I were you? I wouldn’t. Not at all. You didn’t do anything wrong, yet you have to play his I Love You I Love You Not game? I think not.

I would seriously suggest you to read **this**. It’s not fair to you to always be playing by his rules, and being manipulated into catering to him whenever he is moody.

When he contacts you again, be firm and let him know that you need more stability in your relationship and he can’t be playing Hot and Cold at his whim. If he doesn’t contact you? Let him leave. It’s truly his loss, not yours.

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**Author:** ![NP17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a8b319/32.png) [@NP17](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/NP17)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 9:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695/3 "2015-07-21T21:42:29Z")

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I think you’re making a lot of assumptions. One of the key principles of the romance game is to, “assume attraction.” In other words, if there is more than one way to explain his actions, assume that it is something going on with him, and not a problem with your value and attractiveness as a woman. This change in attitude not only comes through in your words, actions, and way you carry yourself, but it orients your life towards whatever satisfies YOU and makes YOU happy.

As for what to do about this man, he says he is busy with studies. Maybe he is? You can’t expect his whole world to revolve around you, especially after having a medium-distance relationship that has not been very long-lived.

Offer to make him dinner one night to take some of the stress off of him.

If he refuses… find another man. There’re plenty of fish in the sea. There’s no such thing as “the one.” You deserve someone that loves you and gives you the intimacy you need.

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**Author:** ![warped](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/977dab/32.png) [@warped](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/warped)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 10:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695/4 "2015-07-21T22:08:19Z")

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Sounds to me like he probably has something big coming up in his classes like a midterm or final and is probably distracted by that.

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**Author:** ![Meister\_Pharaoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Meister\_Pharaoh](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Meister_Pharaoh)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695/5 "2015-07-23T15:46:32Z")

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> [@NoahValentine](#):
>
> I agree in my mind with idea that he needs to feel validated by having you “Chase” him. The fact that he is always running off, waiting for you to run after him to make things better… This is not a trait of a mature man. It’s not okay to make you feel like you are always the one to make amends, and give him reassurance. It almost seems like a game to him to see how far he can push you without you leaving.
> 
> For him to refuse to return your texts/calls for so long, and then finally respond as though you are annoying him is childish and just plain rude. Is this really your ideal man?
> 
> You are absolutely right **is to not text him in a week and see what happens** , but if I were you? I wouldn’t. Not at all. You didn’t do anything wrong, yet you have to play his I Love You I Love You Not game? I think not.
> 
> I would seriously suggest you to read **this**. It’s not fair to you to always be playing by his rules, and being manipulated into catering to him whenever he is moody.
> 
> When he contacts you again, be firm and let him know that you need more stability in your relationship and he can’t be playing Hot and Cold at his whim. If he doesn’t contact you? Let him leave. It’s truly his loss, not yours.

OP and the guy don’t know each other that well; or at least not well enough for him to give her a running commentary of his life. The guy may very well have some problems going on in his life, and making an assumption that he’s playing some kind of game is premature.

If we constantly move on from people after a cursory glance, we do not see much more than just one facet of who they are; you will miss knowing amazing people if you give up on them after a bad week or two.

It is also possible OP that you did smth stupid and turned the guy off to you. Maybe without you even realizing (like a really distasteful comment or joke).

Assuming you want a **mature, capable man** , the best thing is to ask him point blank why he’s being weird, and if there’s something you can do to fix that. Hopefully he responds positively. If he responds in a childish manner, then moving on from him is probably warranted.

Waiting a week to text him is amateur hour. It’s about as childish as dressing to the nines, taking a photo with another guy and posting it on facebook so that the first guy will see you are “a prize”. You might get the guy by doing this, but then again, this is basically confirmation that the guy is a petty little man.

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**Author:** ![cod3freak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cod3freak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/cod3freak)\
**Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 6:36am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-make-him-like-me-again-please-help-me/64695/6 "2015-09-18T06:36:57Z")

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Perhaps he is gaming you?

Making you chase him. IN this case I guess you’d need to consider if he is worth the chase. If not move on. If so…