# I am a VIP **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-a-vip/35650 "2010-01-22T17:26:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pheraoh](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pheraoh/32/857_2.png) [@Pheraoh](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pheraoh)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 9:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-a-vip/35650/21 "2010-02-18T09:47:53Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > Learned empathy is not the same as acting. It’s a social skill, reading people and knowing how to respond appropriately. It’s no different than learning manners. Is being crass and rude acceptable because showing manners and etiquette would be disingenuous and not “being yourself”? Do you know how many times I see afc’s hit the girl with the job interview conversational barrage of questions that he really doesn’t care about? “Where do you work?..that sounds interesting” “Where do you go to school? What’s your major?” etc. All they are thinking when they ask those questions is about getting in the girls pants that night or at least getting a solid maybe at getting her at a later date. That’s not being yourself, it’s not legitimate interest and it rarely if ever works. That only proves you don’t need to be a PUA to be full of shit. If you’re a rude fucking prick and need to be concerned about when to be polite then you have a whole set of different issues altogether. > [@RADMAN513](#): > > As for “fake it till you make it”, well your advice sounds like it encourages shy wallflowers to just stay shy wallflowers and accept that they’re not ever going to be the kind of guy that’s successful with women because doing so “isn’t really them”. > I prefer to look at it this way. There’s the way you see yourself, and the person you wish you were. Just act like the kind of guy you most want to be and when you see that you actually can be, you become that person. It’s not fake because if the desire to be that person is already there, it’s actually a part of you deep inside. The best coaches and methods in the world can’t make even a decent PUA out of a guy that doesn’t want to be. Becoming socially extroverted doesn’t mean you must become a PUA. It’s the greatest misconception/lie of the entire industry. > [@RADMAN513](#): > > …plus nevermind the fact that you cover yourself in a chemical designed to influence other peoples perceptions of you. You don’t feel disingenuous doing that? It was an underlying factor in the demise of an amazing relationship I once had. She never actually knew, but it ate away at me from the inside. Perhaps you will know the joy of experiencing it one day. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-a-vip/35650.md?page=1)