# I am fed up of being cute! **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 16, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979 "2010-11-16T18:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/61 "2011-04-07T08:35:21Z")
> [@Butterfly](#): > > People have been cruel to compare you in this way. But you have to know that you can be beautiful even when there are other beautiful women. There are any different kinds of beauty, and all kinds do have their followers. We don’t all have to look the same. **Accepting yourself is the beginning of feeling beautiful.** If Christina Hendriks tried to look like Natalie Portman, she’d be pretty rediculous. As herself, she is quite formidable. Learn to make the most of your own look. Butterfly said something brilliant here people tend to miss. Beauty can not be seen with your eyes thats why most women cant find it when they look in the mirror. Its something you feel. A sunset is just a sunset. Its how that sunset makes you feel when you look at it that makes it beautiful I know lots of visually attractive women who are pleasing to look at. They attract men’s attention for a short period simply because most men tend to think first with the left brain when looking at the world around them before the right brain kicks in. In women it tends to be opposite. When that right brain kicks in suddenly that stunning women who was so pleasing to look at, sometimes, is not that attractive anymore simply because beauty is not visual. I see these women working so hard on the outside to look good and its never enough. They dont think or feel they are beautiful and they wonder why. Its because they are working on the wrong part of themselves. That can only be worked on inside of us. I am not saying there is something wrong with striving to be the best you can be on the outside as well. Hell I work out and have all the same hangups as everyone else. Its getting harder to ward off the progression of time but I know I will always be beautiful simply because of who I am not because what I look like. Its the same as happiness. People think its a destination. They think if only I can weigh this much I will be happy or If only I looked this way I will be happy and then they get there and wonder why they are not happy. Its simply because they are working from the outside in instead of the inside out. Happiness, Beauty, Love, Joy, Contentment, sexiness etc etc… all of those things are not found outside of us. People dont like to hear that. It’s harder to hear because saying something about the way a person looks is just preference, people all like different things. It says more about them then it does you. When it comes to the realization that beauty comes from within it says something about who we are. Not as easy to change as whats on the outside. Boudicca and Cookie your both beautiful women. I cant see you but I know this because I can feel you from parts of yourself you have shared here on the forum so far. Reach for that feeling of beauty inside and the rest will follow. The weight will come off and the reflection in the mirror will be congruent with the rest of you. People who judge you simply by looks like those fans you mentioned are ignorant and someone’s ignorance is not a reflection of you. So it matters little what they say. I know it can feel hurtful. I am not immune to feeling hurt myself. Growing up people would say lots of hurtful things just because of who the believed my grandmother was and subsequently who they thought I would become. But it’s all ignorance and like maman used to say “never feel good or bad about yourself because of someone else’s ignorance, its about them not you” By the way Boudicca… “Boudicca the Celtic Queen” knew this. It wasn’t how she looked that made her beautiful and revered it was who she was. Keep that in mind during your recovery from surgery. You will get there because you have the heart of a warrior princess. 😉 > [@](#): > > My husband isn’t big on issuing compliments; his idea of a compliment is, “You look nice.” (That, when I’d spent hours on hair and makeup and dress for a black tie affair.) So I haven’t even heard it from him, in all our years of happy marriage. _sigh_ > [@](#): > > you might be beautifyl but not feel that way because you grew up in an place and environment that did not validate you as a beautiful human being or worst, totally made you feel akward and unpretty. That’s another illusion though. Compliments are great we all love them but they dont validate you. Only you can validate you. All the compliments in the world can not validate you if you dont feel it. We spend so much time talking to ourselves in our heads about how we look fat or we are not pretty enough etc etc… no wonder we feel ugly. Think of the things you say to yourself when you look in the mirror. Would you say those things about anyone else even if you thought they were true ? Would you tell your best friend, sister, daughter, “Boy you look fat and disgusting”, “damn your getting old”. Nope I bet you wouldn’t. But women tend to look at themselves and say these things all the time and with that action we validate it as the truth. I know people will roll there eyes and say “oh boy tish is on her lala land tangent again” LOL. But seriously for now on look in the mirror and just point out whats good about you. Just try it for a month. If your in the process of losing weight or reshaping your body then look at the progress you are making not the amount you need to lose. If you hate your ankles like I do notice your killer thighs LOL. I have a pudgy little nose but great skin and hair. Focus on those things you love about you and the more you do the more you will begin to love you just the way you are. Loving you just the way you are doesn’t mean you have to stop improving your appearance. Dont wait for other people to compliment you or validate you. Do it yourself. Boudicca you have been married for over 20 years. That in itself is a compliment to your beauty. He doesnt need to tell you. Every morning you wake up and he is there showing you. Men show feelings though action not verbally like women do. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 10:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/62 "2011-04-07T10:50:40Z")
> [@kelsey](#): > > I have always been the cute girl since highschool. Fast forward a few years down the road and a child later and guys even my sweet b/f still thinks am cute. > > Sure, I don’t mind being cute over all but when I am going out wearing some killa heels and a body fit dress cute is the last thing I want to be. > > When I am wearing some sexy lingerie and strutting my stuff in the bedroom do I want to be cute. > > HELL NO! I chose the sexy option. I’m not cute. Will never be cute. My Eastern European gene puddle saw to that. My face has Yugoslav bone structure: ie I have really high cheekbones, a ‘strong’ jaw line, and long neck and almond shaped eyes. The rest of me is curvy. Since I’ve been here in America, I have been called beautiful repeatedly (something I’m still getting used to!), and lots of guys are into my shape. I don’t have trouble getting laid. That has not been an issue here. I get called sexy sometimes, but since my demeanor is generally geared to getting things done, I haven’t really felt sexy. One of the many things I’m stoked about mones. I feel sexy wearing the IS/B, giving me the mindset, and the appropriate response. 🆒 So, since I don’t have the cute option; I voted for the one I can work on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Txfox76](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/txfox76/32/2307_2.png) [@Txfox76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Txfox76)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/63 "2011-04-07T18:28:28Z")
I’m not cute. . . .unconventionally pretty maybe, smokin’ hot if I’m having a good day. Honestly with my pain issues, my biggest obstacle is getting away from the frump. Losing almost 50lbs has helped that though (27 to go!) I have kind of a whacked out self-image, but I’m aware that it is whacked out. As a child I was told I was pretty/cute, but I had an EXTREMELY awkward adolescence and my best friend (who I later discovered was actually more awkward than I) got all the attention because everyone felt that she needed the confidence boost (so looking back today I wonder why they didn’t think I needed it) I really came into my own in college though. I have struggled with my weight my whole adult life. . .As I get closer to the weight I was in my avatar pic, I’m determined that this is the last time I’m fighting this battle, and I’m never dressing frumpy again. ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/64 "2011-04-07T19:14:30Z")
Well, let’s just say that I have a combination of Cherokee and Celtic bone structure - my face is square, with a strong jaw and high broad cheekbones, wide, high forehead and big blue “Disney” eyes. I suppose I actually do look not unlike my famous ancestor. (But she wasn’t exactly accounted a beauty either; it’s odd that the word “bodacious” derives from the alternative form of her name, Boadicea.) I’m unusually broad-shouldered for a woman, and usually cut out all shoulder pads from clothing (unless it’s a formally constructed blazer). I had a curvy figure before I became “pregnant” with a water balloon for 3 years until the doctors finally found it and cut it out. Now the faux-pregger fat, no longer having anything to support it, has sagged into rolls, lumps, and bags. I can’t wear form-fitting clothing because, while it defines my renewed hourglass shape, it also reveals the fat rolls from the cyst. I don’t know what colors look good on me. I no longer know what shapes look good on me. I don’t know how to “pose” for pictures, but as a writer I’m constantly being candidly photographed at booksignings, and said photos look just awful for the most part. The exceptions are from those who are doing candid snaps who are pro photogs, and they know how to get me at the right angle to look good. After my surgery I got together with a friend who studied historical fashion etc. and teaches it, and we did some shopping and I got a feel for some colors that do work and what don’t, and a little bit for shapes. I got a makeup makeover and now have that more or less down. (I did pretty well on makeup before, so not much new there.) But my skin has that nasty sandpaper feel post-op, that nothing seems to get rid of, and I guess I just have to wait until it’s run its cycle and the skin decides to recover from the surgical stress. The end result is that it doesn’t always take makeup well or evenly. So at this point in time I have no idea how to get back the semblance of appearance I used to have. In other words, right now, I’d TAKE cute if I could. I dunno. Maybe I’m just going through “post-water-balloon depression.” ---
**Author:** ![withaspirit](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/withaspirit/32/569_2.png) [@withaspirit](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/withaspirit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/65 "2011-04-07T20:16:33Z")
It depends, when Im hanging out with my parents, I prefer not to be sexy haha. ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/66 "2011-04-07T21:07:22Z")
That’s real “cute,” withaspirit. Thank you for your input. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![TwistedOstrich](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/twistedostrich/32/627_2.png) [@TwistedOstrich](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TwistedOstrich)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/67 "2011-04-10T18:04:49Z")
> [@Boudicca](#): > > That’s real “cute,” withaspirit. Thank you for your input. 🙄 One other small input I once read, what you call your partner is what they become. That constant enforcement of an idea somewhat shapes you. Now maybe all he wants is you to be cute, some guys go for that. In either case maybe in some way you can hint that to your man and see if it changes. Or if talking openly about the idea, come up with a strategy. ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/68 "2011-04-10T19:59:38Z")
> [@](#): > > One other small input I once read, what you call your partner is what they become. Isn’t hubby that thinks or says that. It’s other people. Non-family, usually friends. ---
**Author:** ![Taggle](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/taggle/32/1793_2.png) [@Taggle](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Taggle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/69 "2011-04-12T17:11:56Z")
Sometimes I wish I was more cute than sexy… When I was younger I loved to attract bad boys, but now the serious type that I wan’t seems put off by my “man-eater”-personality… ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/70 "2011-04-13T06:36:16Z")
> [@Taggle](#): > > Sometimes I wish I was more cute than sexy… When I was younger I loved to attract bad boys, but now the serious type that I wan’t seems put off by my “man-eater”-personality… What about IS/B? Doesn’t that “soften” you a little? ---
**Author:** ![Taggle](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/taggle/32/1793_2.png) [@Taggle](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Taggle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/71 "2011-04-13T10:41:22Z")
> [@Astrea](#): > > What about IS/B? Doesn’t that “soften” you a little? It might, I only just started using it… ---
**Author:** ![Gotchaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@Gotchaz](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gotchaz)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/72 "2011-04-13T20:14:41Z")
I loooove cute girls! Like mentioned before I find cute sexy, but for you girls who think you’re just cute. How about being cute and playfull? That combo will make ya sexy 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/73 "2011-04-16T04:35:53Z")
> [@](#): > > How about being cute and playfull? I think it’s the playful part that mostly gets me CALLED cute to begin with. I’ve been told on a couple of occasions that I’m “not exactly drop-dead gorgeous” and so that just kinda leaves cute, as a personality factor rather than a looks factor. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Taggle](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/taggle/32/1793_2.png) [@Taggle](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Taggle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 7:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/74 "2011-04-16T07:47:53Z")
> [@Boudicca](#): > > I think it’s the playful part that mostly gets me CALLED cute to begin with. I’ve been told on a couple of occasions that I’m “not exactly drop-dead gorgeous” and so that just kinda leaves cute, as a personality factor rather than a looks factor. _sigh_ Nice comment 😮 Hope its from total a\*holes who wanted to bring you down, because your friends and people who loves you should always make you feel like you’re drop dead gorgeous even if you look like you’re covered in shit! Seriously I used to look way better than I do now (childbirth and food 😃), but I’m more confident now, and a big part of that is new friends, who build me up instead of tearing me down. This means that especially men react to me as if I WAS more beautiful 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 10:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/75 "2011-04-16T10:48:45Z")
> [@Taggle](#): > > Nice comment 😮 Hope its from total a\*holes who wanted to bring you down, because your friends and people who loves you should always make you feel like you’re drop dead gorgeous even if you look like you’re covered in shit! > > Seriously I used to look way better than I do now (childbirth and food 😃), but I’m more confident now, and a big part of that is new friends, who build me up instead of tearing me down. This means that especially men react to me as if I WAS more beautiful 😃 😠 Yeah, sing that again sister! Make it a damn mantra. I have a previous life of being told (constantly) in the worst case “well, you’re not _ugly_” 😮 and in the best case by my SO “well, _ **I** _ think you’re attractive” - really? 🙄 I’d f\*\*kin hope so, we’re doing the nasty, after all. _ **THEN** _ I come to this country and spend a few years learning NOT to be cynical when I’m called beautiful. It still trips me out. I’m with Taggle, now that I know better; those close to you, caring about you will always make you feel beautiful and be concerned if you’re not feelin it. Then again, isn’t that what [Instant Sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) is for? . . . . . Damn! LOVE to go back with an industrial sized bottle and literally get up all those people’s noses . . . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/76 "2011-04-16T14:30:52Z")
Nope. Honesty in friends is often the most painful. And [Instant Sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) has the odd effect of mentally causing me to remove all of the body fat from the cyst - i.e. my mental image of myself becomes skinny - so that when I get an actual look at myself in a mirror or photo, I’m always shocked. ---
**Author:** ![Txfox76](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/txfox76/32/2307_2.png) [@Txfox76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Txfox76)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/77 "2011-04-16T16:59:39Z")
> [@Boudicca](#): > > Nope. Honesty in friends is often the most painful. > > And Instant Sexiness has the odd effect of mentally causing me to remove all of the body fat from the cyst - i.e. my mental image of myself becomes skinny - so that when I get an actual look at myself in a mirror or photo, I’m always shocked. One man’s “honesty” is another man’s Schadenfreude. Friends that tear me down rather than build me up? I have none. . . did THAT housekeeping a LONG time ago. Friends that sincerely stop me before I make a mistake with my appearance. . . I have two . . .my boyfriend and my bestie. One of my ex’s used to say “you aren’t going to wear THAT are you!?” and I would deliberately, defiantly do just that. The less of THAT kind of negativity there is in my life, the more confident I am, AND the more I revel in other people’s successes. It is another poitive feedback loop. . .this one builds on itself though, it is an upward spiral. As women, we may have to start with celebrating someone else’s beauty or success before we can give ourselves “permission” to celebrate our own (lest we seem vain, braggy or narcissistic) \<----these are “self-imposed” rules though. . .and fall away as artifice rather easily with practice. Warning: if you do enact the above, learn to take a compliment. Gracefully. A sincere Thank You is all you really need. I’ve been wondering lately is there is a word for the OPPOSITE of Schadenfreude. ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/78 "2011-04-17T00:38:47Z")
> [@Txfox76](#): > > One man’s “honesty” is another man’s Schadenfreude. Friends that tear me down rather than build me up? I have none. . . did THAT housekeeping a LONG time ago. Friends that sincerely stop me before I make a mistake with my appearance. . . I have two . . .my boyfriend and my bestie. This is the national temperament and general attitude of Australians; but it’s called ‘doing you a favor’. Telling you, with favors like that you don’t need enemies. ☹ I did the ultimate housekeeping - I emigrated! > [@Txfox76](#): > > The less of THAT kind of negativity there is in my life, the more confident I am, AND the more I revel in other people’s successes. It is another poitive feedback loop. . .this one builds on itself though, it is an upward spiral. This is how I live. The next best thing to me getting what I want is my friends getting what they want! YAY! Stay close, my turn next 😃 I love seeing my friends happy, and I got and get rid of any that don’t feel that way. As I see it, they’re not my friends. 😕 > [@Txfox76](#): > > Warning: if you do enact the above, learn to take a compliment. Gracefully. A sincere Thank You is all you really need. Yes, do. Even if it makes you choke a little or stop and stare - just say thankyou. 😛 > [@Txfox76](#): > > I’ve been wondering lately is there is a word for the OPPOSITE of Schadenfreude. 😮 Looked it up, not one single antonym. Maybe we should invent one, put it out there make people use it and get it listed. What? Did you say something? Think about it: _ **bootylicious** _ is now in the dictionary!!! 😮 ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/79 "2011-04-17T01:32:41Z")
> [@Txfox76](#): > > _ **One man’s “honesty” is another man’s Schadenfreude. Friends that tear me down rather than build me up? I have none. . . did THAT housekeeping a LONG time ago. Friends that sincerely stop me before I make a mistake with my appearance. . . I have two . . .my boyfriend and my bestie.** _ > > _ **One of my ex’s used to say “you aren’t going to wear THAT are you!?” and I would deliberately, defiantly do just that** _. LOL! …and then\* I’ll\* dress\* you\*, Mr.GQ. 🙄 If he did that to you about your clothes then he did it to you about other things. No wonder he’s\*\* X\*\*. I understand exactly what you mean in the sense that _you_ interpret the meaning of Schadenfreude. Although I don’t interpret it quite that way but rather as to feel a secret sense of pleasure at the misfortune of others. Well, I know a little German and I’m married to a big one. 😃 Schadenfreude, originating from Schaden (damage, harm) and Freude (joy). “Friends that tear me down rather than build me up?”, in the way you’re thinking of Schadenfreude, sounds more to me like the word/meaning " Frenimies"…or whatever the “word/meaning” is for someone whose ego requires they put you down to build themselves up. Frankly, I’m not interested in befriending or hanging onto someone who behaves that way toward me. I won’t waste my time past the point of discovery. What’s the benefit/pay off of being with\* anyone\* who makes that a habit? Always trying to/feeling the need to demean/insult/put you down in order to make themselves feel good/better/superior? Fugedaboudit. I’d rather be celebrating in the hot tub with my friend’s at their new house. 🙂 Frenemy - #2 about sums it up! [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frenemy](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frenemy) > [@Txfox76](#): > > \*\*\*The less of THAT kind of negativity there is in my life, the more confident I am, AND the more I revel in other people’s successes. It is another poitive feedback loop. . .this one builds on itself though, it is an upward spiral. \*\*\* > [@Txfox76](#): > > \*\*\*As women, we may have to start with celebrating someone else’s beauty or success before we can give ourselves “permission” to celebrate our own (lest we seem vain, braggy or narcissistic) \<----these are “self-imposed” rules though. . .and fall away as artifice rather easily with practice. \*\*\* _ **“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”** ~ Roald Dahl_ \*\*\*"\*_ **Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same."** ~ Francesca Reigler_ Trying to conform/live up to someone else’s expectations will never make for a happy satisfying life. Some people are so busy seeking approval /trying to achieve others standard of ideal beauty… or preoccupied/obsessed staring over the fence with envy that they forget/don’t know how to plant their own beautiful garden. In order to have a healthy/prolific/beautiful garden, inside\* yourself\*, you must get rid of the weeds. There’s room for a few pesky bugs that may annoy from time to time, but only when necessary, and they come in the form of true friends who are there to let you know when you’re really fucking up. And right back at ya! 😉 > [@Txfox76](#): > > \*\*\* Warning: if you do enact the above, learn to take a compliment. Gracefully. A sincere Thank You is all you really need.\*\*\* So true. That and learning to graciously\* give\* one. 😉 > [@Txfox76](#): > > \*\*\* I’ve been wondering lately is there is a word for the OPPOSITE of Schadenfreude.\*\*\* In the sense you mean it I can’t think of an _opposite_ at the moment. Right now the only word that comes to mind is sad. In the sense I think of Schadenfreude, maybe, lol. Let’s see, howzabout Gluckschmerz?.. which signifies a sense of deep discomfort and sorrow at the good fortunes of others. 🙄 Bella ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 1:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/80 "2011-04-17T01:57:15Z")
> [@Bella](#): > > Well, I know a little German and I’m married to a big one. 😃 Schadenfreude, originating from Schaden (damage, harm) and Freude (joy). Bella As it is used in English, via the American Dictionary: Websters - schadenfreude “malicious joy in the misfortunes of others,” 1922, from Ger., lit. “damage-joy,” from schaden “damage, harm, injury” (see [scathe](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/scathe)) + freude , from O.H.G. frewida “joy,” from fro “happy,” lit. “hopping for joy,” from P.Gmc. \*frawa- and I did say that I checked for antonyms . . . . 🆒 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979.md?page=3) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979.md?page=5)