# I am fed up of being cute! **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 16, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979 "2010-11-16T18:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Fade1](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/fade1/32/1949_2.png) [@Fade1](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Fade1)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/121 "2011-04-29T23:38:31Z")
I’m with the other guys here - Alicia beats Eva, but in both cases it seems to be mostly camera tricks and makeup. Now - cute in public, firecracker as soon as the doors are closed… there’s a combo 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/122 "2011-04-30T01:05:52Z")
Its all in the body language, facial expression and the vibe ladies… Yes Alicia is cute here … > **[Florida Politics | Tampa Bay Times](https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida-politics/)** > > Politics news in the Tampa Bay area and Tallahassee, including local, county and state laws, breaking news and community topics and issues, from the Tampa Bay Times. Look at her now \>\>\>\>\>\>\>\> ![alicia_silverstone_3](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/5/5cb18627bb0d374ea576d5ceb2c9c521a5674b58.jpeg) Not that you should dress this way and crawl around but look at her facial expression. How she holds her body [http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/IMGTHUMB/alicia\_silverstone\_vegetarian\_thumb.jpg](http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/IMGTHUMB/alicia_silverstone_vegetarian_thumb.jpg) ![images](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/1/1a8cc7cf267eb9a2fa2965a0429f2bb64e9cd650.jpeg) ![images](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/7/79a628c3cac2b1ba3b69000c7a6acb098f99c714.jpeg) Now here is sexy Eva [![](http://www.imgbase.net/images/eva_mendes-10.jpg) ](http://www.imgbase.net/images/eva_mendes-10.jpg) And here is Cute Eva ![images](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/0/08b2fa68bd105fd8db8041cfa33050ac37d0f932.jpeg) [http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJucu6yOfZ7RlrvvcZoep2QMgrVnpqB8AYQPZ7fSWxv8P\_WucM8nby1B7S](http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJucu6yOfZ7RlrvvcZoep2QMgrVnpqB8AYQPZ7fSWxv8P_WucM8nby1B7S) ![images](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/c/ca97c05b17f287d7ee96fb2554e3c555a1cd49af.jpeg) ![images](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/9/9c2b9f4231096e3a5b1f3e554f232647122313df.jpeg) The vibe comes from within and you project it out. Both very beautiful women Tisha ---
**Author:** ![arpitphillips](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/arpitphillips/32/420_2.png) [@arpitphillips](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/arpitphillips)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/123 "2011-04-30T02:54:46Z")
I feel being cute is way better than being sexy. you actually appeal to a greater no of people, even kids can relate to you better. except in movies where they depict a kid of 10 hitting on a female in a tight red dress, stilettos and hitting on the kid’s dad, how many of you have seen that in real life? 😛 \<\<---- This is me; My girlfriend tells me “ur hot” (errr..thank you, but wasnt that supposed to be my line?) Most of my classmates and other friends in college say I’m cute and i like that better. I’m fairly large, and once i was sitting cross legged and slouched on a table in the college hall and two random girls told me i looked so tiny and “that is so cute”. they called other friends and even clicked pics (which was also kinda embarrassing but then who cares). 😛 So yeah as of now i feel being cute is better. ---
**Author:** ![MsBunny007](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/msbunny007/32/1484_2.png) [@MsBunny007](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MsBunny007)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/124 "2011-04-30T03:27:15Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > Its all in the body language, facial expression and the vibe ladies… > > Look at her now \>\>\>\>\>\>\>\> > > [http://www.rexwallpapers.com/images/wallpapers/celebs/alicia-silverstone/alicia\_silverstone\_3.jpg](http://www.rexwallpapers.com/images/wallpapers/celebs/alicia-silverstone/alicia_silverstone_3.jpg) > > Not that you should dress this way and crawl around but look at her facial expression. How she holds her body > > Tisha You know what’s funny I wore this very same outfit and acted like this out to dinner tonight. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 7:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/125 "2011-04-30T07:46:24Z")
> [@arpitphillips](#): > > I feel being cute is way better than being sexy. you actually appeal to a greater no of people, even kids can relate to you better. > **except in movies where they depict a kid of 10 hitting on a female i** n a tight red dress, stilettos and hitting on the kid’s dad, how many of you have seen that in real life? 😛 > > \<\<---- This is me; My girlfriend tells me “ur hot” (errr..thank you, but wasnt that supposed to be my line?) > > Most of my classmates and other friends in college say I’m cute and i like that better. I’m fairly large, and once i was sitting cross legged and slouched on a table in the college hall and two random girls told me i looked so tiny and “that is so cute”. they called other friends and even clicked pics (which was also kinda embarrassing but then who cares). 😛 > > So yeah as of now i feel being cute is better. They weren’t 10; but I have had teenagers hit on me in the street. The youngest was 15 and maintained he wouldn’t disappoint. 😮 (And gave a graphic description of various . . . ummm ways he could, ah, achieve that) When I (laughingly) told him he was waaaaaay too young to be hitting on me; he replied: I’m a guy and you’re fine. I wanna get me some cougar action an for me, 20 is a cougar and the rest is a bonus! I was speechless and laughing, then his friend backed him up. Not the only time that has happened. Way before mones (added ones) were in my life. Sorry, but I think the blonde and blue eyes are just boring. Cute, if you like that, but personally, Eva Mendes walks all over the cute thing and makes it redundant. Cute isn’t taken as seriously as sexy or beautiful - as evidenced by the roles they’ve done. It’s not taken as strong, either. I’ll leave cute to those who can manage it - I don’t think I’ve been cute for the last 100 re-incarnations or so. 😃 IMO. I spose living in Oz makes you jaded about the peroxide. So many 4’s and 5’s get called beautiful after a bleach job. One of the many reasons I dye over my blonde hair. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 9:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/126 "2011-04-30T09:25:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Sorry, but I think the blonde and blue eyes are just boring. LOL good thing I have brown eyes then or I would think you were calling me boring. 😃 > [@](#): > > Cute isn’t taken as seriously as sexy or beautiful - I agree with that but only partly. Maybe on first glance but being taken seriously ultimately comes from your actions not how you look. There are very few people who dont take me seriously after they meet me. Sometimes I am cute and sometimes I am sexy and sometimes I am serious and sometimes trivial. It depends on my state of mind and thats my point. Cute and sexy are words to describe a vibe or a feeling something gives you. You can project that vibe no matter what you look like. Learn to project vibes using body language, facial expression, movement and you are in control of that vibe and you can project anything you want. > [@](#): > > They weren’t 10; but I have had teenagers hit on me in the street. The youngest was 15 and maintained he wouldn’t disappoint. 😮 (And gave a graphic description of various . . . ummm ways he could, ah, achieve that) When I (laughingly) told him he was waaaaaay too young to be hitting on me; he replied: I’m a guy and you’re fine. I wanna get me some cougar action an for me, 20 is a cougar and the rest is a bonus! > I was speechless and laughing, then his friend backed him up. Not the only time that has happened. Way before mones (added ones) were in my life. That was brazen. I have had my sons friends hit on me and a few times. When he was in High School and I had to go in for something kids show IOI. I only had one act so brazenly in public though and I ended up having to drag my son off him. We both ended up in the principal’s office after that. 😛 > [@arpitphillips](#): > > \<\<---- This is me; My girlfriend tells me “ur hot” (errr..thank you, but wasnt that supposed to be my line?) You dont want your GF to be turned on by you ? Actually this is a perfect example. The vibe you give off with your GF is different then the one you were giving off sitting in the college hall. You got embarrassed and were probably smiling a lot when those girls were saying you looked cute but if you uncrossed your legs, stood up and squared off your body, used direct eye contact, hooded your eyes ever so slightly, and used a slow smile that cute would have rapidly changed into hot. You would be projecting a whole different feeling. People are not one or the other. They are both. Both those vibes are inside of you, just unleash them. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![arpitphillips](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/arpitphillips/32/420_2.png) [@arpitphillips](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/arpitphillips)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 10:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/127 "2011-04-30T10:51:24Z")
Still laughing at > [@](#): > > he replied: I’m a guy and you’re fine. I wanna get me some cougar action an for me, 20 is a cougar and the rest is a bonus! About > [@](#): > > You dont want your GF to be turned on by you ? Actually this is a perfect example. **The vibe you give off with your GF is different then the one you were giving off sitting in the college hall. You got embarrassed and were probably smiling a lot when those girls were saying you looked cute** but if you uncrossed your legs, stood up and squared off your body, used direct eye contact, hooded your eyes ever so slightly, and used a slow smile that cute would have rapidly changed into hot. You would be projecting a whole different feeling. > > People are not one or the other. They are both. Both those vibes are inside of you, just unleash them. Yeah that happens with me a lot. Mostly people tell me I’m usually look and behave shy/nervous/kiddish, but that I’m a totally different person when I’m with my girlfriend. In fact I do feel that’s quite true. Maybe that’s just how I am. @Tisha, @MsBunny007, @Astrea: Can you guys go through the first post in my journal and guide me on how to handle the situation, not just in terms of pheromones but also otherwise? I would like to know the opinion of woman about it. Thanks! > [@The Experiences of a Guy With No Common Sense](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-experiences-of-a-guy-with-no-common-sense/50014/1): > > Saturday, April 23, 2011: I am from India, 20 years of age, about 180-190 lbs, between 5’11" and 6’ (and since I had been reading some threads about relation between blood group and pheromones, I’m AB+ --there you go you sore losers who don’t know your blood group) The results for my Phero Profiler test are: Androstenol: Level = 4.21 :Medium Androsterone: Level = 3.97 :Low Androstenone: Level = 3.97 :Low the entire test in the attachment. I’ll keep taking the test and updating it. This wa… Oh but I still am in favor of cute over sexy. Well it actually depends on the situation, but cute over sexy any day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/128 "2011-05-09T01:00:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Sorry, but I think the blonde and blue eyes are just boring. Thank you SO kindly. Now I am cutely boring, or boringly cute. Or something. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 7:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/129 "2011-05-09T07:13:58Z")
> [@Boudicca](#): > > Thank you SO kindly. Now I am cutely boring, or boringly cute. Or something. 🙄 **Hey, MY opinion.** Before I came to this country, the most complimentary thing said to me was: Well, you’re not ugly. So, call me jealous (😃 not!) call me bitter (😮 over what?!); but when a whole culture **requires** that you be blonde to be called pretty **AND** blue eyed to be beautiful - regardless of what kind of person an individual is; then you have more than 50% of the population blonde. And out of them, those that don’t have blue eyes either grossly fixated on that or wearing blue contacts - the sheer number of blonde and blue eyed **females** is overwhelming. That’s the culture I grew up in. I don’t tan - another reason to be called less than. So, I think blonde and blue eyed is boring; the whole diversity of mixed races; colors, features here, are an endless joy for me. I see so many different kinds of beautiful, every day is a wonder. **I’ve** even been called beautiful 😮 - and it’s taken 7 years for me to get used to it being said without sarcasm, irony or malicious agenda. I still don’t believe it or trust whoever said it. That probably won’t happen. **So, for all the blondies that chose to take offense or be “hurt”** (are you kidding?!) **at MY opinion - stop whining and get over it!** **You know you’re in the majority and in the west get automatic attention just for the blonde.** Let the rest of us - Italian, Spanish, Yugoslav, Romanian, Turkish be suitably bored. I had to emigrate across the world to be comfortable in my own skin. **Stop being that pretty girl bitching about one tiny zit under her hair.** **OH hey, LOOK!!! I was clear!** ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 10:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/130 "2011-05-09T10:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > So, for all the blondies that chose to take offense at MY opinion - stop whining and get over it! You know you’re in the majority and in the west get automatic attention just for the blonde. Let the rest of us - Italian, Spanish, Yugoslav, Romanian, Turkish be suitably bored. I had to emigrate across the world to be comfortable in my own skin. Stop being that pretty girl bitching about one tiny zit under her hair. A word from our sponsor LOL [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI) I dont think Boudicca is offended by your opinion she is hurt by it. There is a big difference. Your now doing to others exactly what was done to you before you moved. Judging them and making them feel less then. I know you didnt mean it that way when you said it you were just trying to express how much you enjoy the divirsity of people and how your just discovering your own beauty which is wonderful but to make a blanket statement that “blue eyed blondes are just boring” is prejudice. For someone like me who admittingly has high self esteem I see it for what it is but for someone who is feeling low already its just one more blow to the self esteem. One more reason to feel less then. Its ok to prefer the looks of dark haired, dark eyed sultry beauties. I agree pretty, sexy, beautiful comes in all sort of shapes sizes and coloring it just doesnt have to be conveyed by making those who are not of that type of beauty less then. Dont become the very thing you ran from. While I am certainly not offended or whining about anything I can see how the statement could be hurtful to some. I will leave this subject with your own words to think about. > [@Astera](#): > > I know better; those close to you, caring about you will always make you feel beautiful and be concerned if you’re not feelin it. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Taggle](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/taggle/32/1793_2.png) [@Taggle](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Taggle)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 10:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/131 "2011-05-09T10:06:17Z")
I really don’t think looking boring has anything to do with hair or eye color, I’ve seen some really beautiful women who looked totally boring, noone ever inspired them to turn on a spark inside, achieve some charm or even smile. They had been getting positive attention their whole chilhood, and as grown up women everybody except themselves could see that they were no longer special at all… Usually they end up with a guy whose just the same, and I’m NOT jalous:-D ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/132 "2011-05-09T19:49:34Z")
I think many men’s definition of “cute” may differ from that of Mickaelia. Men often call their cars, speedboat and camera gear “sexy,” but never cute. Calling a woman cute is a term of endearment and means you get them way hotter than their new golf clubs or Harley! “You’re so damn cute” in boy-speak translates as “you give me major wood and ah wanna bump uglies.” ---
**Author:** ![Fade1](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/fade1/32/1949_2.png) [@Fade1](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Fade1)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/133 "2011-05-09T20:15:21Z")
Yeah I’m not sure if any girl could be as sexy as a 1960s mustang. Like I said - both cute and sultry have their places. And every girl can pull off both, even if you don’t think you can. ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/134 "2011-05-09T20:22:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Stop being that pretty girl bitching about one tiny zit under her hair. If I were that, I wouldn’t have posted on this thread to begin with. > [@](#): > > I dont think Boudicca is offended by your opinion she is hurt by it. Thank you, Tish. There wasn’t an appropriate emot to add to convey the emotions. My life is undergoing major suckage lately and to be told that my looks - my natural looks, although admittedly I’m old enough now to start adding color to the hair - is “a dime a dozen” doesn’t help decrease the suckage. > [@](#): > > “You’re so damn cute” in boy-speak translates as “you give me major wood and ah wanna bump uglies.” No, you don’t understand. I get “cute” from people several decades older than me, and other women. My own husband of a couple decades considers “You look nice” an acceptable compliment when I’m dolled to the nines for a black-tie affair. > [@](#): > > Yeah I’m not sure if any girl could be as sexy as a 1960s mustang. Oh that helps A LOT. Thank you so much. _heavy sarcasm_ ---
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/135 "2011-05-09T20:36:15Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > I think many men’s definition of “cute” may differ from that of Mickaelia. Men often call their cars, speedboat and camera gear “sexy,” but never cute. Calling a woman cute is a term of endearment and means you get them way hotter than their new golf clubs or Harley! “You’re so damn cute” in boy-speak translates as “you give me major wood and ah wanna bump uglies.” After starting this thread and the responses I got and of course some deep searching I did figure that out. I did manage to love myself more in terms of who I am and my body even if it’s not the same. My confidence have sky rocketed. I have not replied to any posts in this thread but I do read all what has been said ever since I started it and pray that every woman finds that kind of confidence. Not to be complacent about their health and body’s but start by accepting themselves for who they are and what they look like and then the progress will follow. ---
**Author:** ![Fade1](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/fade1/32/1949_2.png) [@Fade1](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Fade1)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/136 "2011-05-09T21:44:42Z")
Never under-estimate the desire of a man to corrupt and ruin something cute and innocent. May sound creepy, but there’s an insight to the darker side of the male mind right there. Cute IS sexy. I think what you need most of all right now though Boudicca, is confidence. Confidence really is attractive. Some say that compliments from others or the love of a good partner etc are a great boost to confidence - but like Mickaelia said, the love of yourself is the best thing you can do. I’m sure you’ve known loads of people who have come out of their shell after figuring out they are beautiful or being convinced of it by another over time. Hope that helped a little more than my sexy car comment 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/137 "2011-05-09T22:36:39Z")
> [@Astrea](#): > > Cute isn’t taken as seriously as sexy or beautiful - as evidenced by the roles they’ve done. It’s not taken as strong, either. I’m cute and a little silly, but also efficient, charming and intelligent. Men can recognize both at the same, we live in the 21st century. Sure, my male coworkers may tease me that I can’t take big steps on the stairway or I talk in a read-to-toddlers voice sometimes or hum cheerful songs when I work, but they also openly tell others I work fast and have leadership skills. Sure, if men see you as cute they want to help you with things. This requires they see themselves as superior in some area, but it does not mean they no longer see the srengths you do have. You can be smart even if you have less upper body strenth for example. ---
**Author:** ![Boudicca](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/boudicca/32/5171_2.png) [@Boudicca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Boudicca)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/138 "2011-05-10T00:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > I think what you need most of all right now though Boudicca, is confidence. Confidence really is attractive. Some say that compliments from others or the love of a good partner etc are a great boost to confidence - but like Mickaelia said, the love of yourself is the best thing you can do. Yup. You nailed it. You’d think by now I’d have that confidence, wouldn’t you? It’s not like I’m fresh outta college. In point of fact, where my work is concerned, I AM confident. It’s my looks where I fall down. And actually if I could even get BACK to cute at this point, I’d be happy. See, here’s the sitch, guys. Boudicca’s gonna spill her guts here, which I don’t usually do, so hang on. I’m considerably older than most people think I am - it’s just good genetics, because my parents also look younger than their age. But about four years ago I suddenly started gaining weight - mostly in my belly, but all over - and nothing I did was stopping it. Busting @$$ in the gym, dieting, counting calories, nothing even slowed it. After about 3 years I started looking like I was 7-8 mo. pregnant. One year ago this very month I changed doctors and the new doctor did a physical and said, “You have an abdominal mass.” That’s when the nightmare began. I spent the entire summer having invasive testing and a laparoscopic surgery that was supposed to remove the mass. But when the doctor got in there, he didn’t recognize ANYTHING. He was an OB-GYN and he called in a general surgeon while I was on the table - and the SURGEON didn’t recognize anything. I mean, they couldn’t even find my intestines and bowel. They closed me up and sent me for more testing. In August, I delivered a 25lb, 4-6liter water balloon in a 3+hour Caesarian. After a 3-year pregnancy. That’s the funny way of saying it, and what I usually tell people if they ask. What actually happened was that I was cut open from a couple inches below my sternum all the way down to my pubic bone to remove a (benign, thank God) ovarian cyst that had grown to incredible proportions, thanks to a previous doctor that just told me I was fat and to exercise more. 🙄😠 Said cyst really was about 25lb, and the equivalent of 2 or 3 2-liter bottles of Coke. I came out of anesthesia, and asked the nurses to place a rolled towel behind my back to support it because it was bothering me. As soon as they started to move me, my entire abdominal wall locked up in a massive cramp that I thought was ripping the stitches out it was so bad, and I immediately began screaming in pain despite myself. It continued to do this for about a week if I was imprudent enough to move in certain ways. I spent the bulk of my hospital stay (except for the last night) in ICU hooked up to more wires, cables, cords, and tubes than I knew they could get on one human body. I had to remain relatively inactive for 6 months due to the high possibility of herniation, since they cut through the connective tissue BETWEEN the ab muscles, not the muscles themselves, and hence that constituted a weak spot. I only got the go-ahead to resume workouts in Feb. I’m still trying hard to get my strength back - I had been lifting entire weight stacks on some of the machines before the cyst was discovered, and now I’m such a wimp. Meanwhile all that faux-baby fat that I put on over 3 years (equivalent of 4 back-to-back real pregnancies) no longer had anything in my belly to support it, so it slumped down into rolls and folds. My body looks like some kid’s Play-Doh sculpture that the kid squeezed in his/her fist, with a nice huge scar down the middle. And of course, just like in real pregnancy, the belly isn’t the only place you gain weight. So I’m fat. Fighting like #&!! to get it off, but it’s a slow process, especially when I’m still so weak. And in chronic pain. Because my back muscles had the exclusive task of lifting and stablizing my torso - no abs or obliques to help. So overuse injury, effectively. I can’t lie on my stomach comfortably yet so I can’t get a full massage or chiropractic adjustments, either. Oh yeah. They took out all the female organs while they were in there, and the surgeon/GYN oncologist wouldn’t put me on HRT, I guess due to the possibility the cyst could grow back if they didn’t get all the tissue (it ruptured when they tried to remove it, so they had to peel the tissue off my guts). And one month after the surgery I hit a major milestone birthday. Talk about feeling old. My facial skin feels rough like sandpaper but it’s greasy. Makeup doesn’t go on smoothly or evenly no matter what I do. My body is dreadfully stiff and in chronic pain, and weak. I’m watching my face and body change from lack of female hormones. I’m having all the classic signs of menopause. So far pulse rate, exercise recovery time, and EKG indicate a healthy cardiovascular system, which is good because a bad one runs in my family, and now that I’m surgically menopausal I’m at risk. In general I feel like my body has betrayed me. I’m tired, I hurt, I’m depressed, I’m discouraged, and I’m cranky as #&!!. I’ve seen pix of me taken in public (I’m a writer) that look absolutely HORRIBLE. I feel like I’m fighting tooth and nail just to maintain a status quo and not start aging like a movie in fast-forward. Somebody tell me how I’m supposed to maintain self-confidence in the face of all that, PLEASE. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![KandeK](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kandek/32/1848_2.png) [@KandeK](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/KandeK)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/139 "2011-05-10T01:53:46Z")
> [@KandeK](#): > > I know exactly what you mean! It’s like looking like Alicia Silverstone when you want to look like Eva Mendes! > > [Florida Politics](http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-politics/sites/tampabay.com.blogs.the-buzz-florida-politics/files/images/typepad-legacy-files/86053.alicia_silverstone_l.jpg) > > [http://www.imgbase.net/images/eva\_mendes-10.jpg](http://www.imgbase.net/images/eva_mendes-10.jpg) Oops. 😮 Well, I quite literally meant I look like Alicia Silverstone. see that expression on her face? That look of surprise? I look like that 80% of the day. My boyfriend calls me “the baby”… because I have that expression, blonde hair, blue eyes, light skin, cute-look 24/7. I wish I just had that natural sexiness oozing. 🆒 I know it’s there, I just gotta figure out how to bring it out! 😃🙂 For a long time I envied girls with the dark hair and dark eyes; thinking they were the epitome of pure sexiness. But, as wrong as it sounds, I have looked at photos of sexy blonde pin-up girls and came to the realization that there are some VERY sexy blonde women and that sexiness is not dependent on hair, skin, or eye color-- but on something more than that. It’s just what you do and what you are, not what colour your hair is. So, I now have a new appreciation. I look at dark hair, dark eye, dark skinned women and instead of envying them, think that they are beautiful for what they are. I am beautiful for what I am. We are just different and no one is sexier or has the capability of being sexier than the other… Unless of course you’re comparing a specific person to another person, because obviously if you put some famous sex-Goddess up against me, she is going to be higher on the sexiness scale, but you get what I mean. 😃😛 So, brunette, blonde, whatever! We can all be sexy or cute! 😉 I just prefer being blonde for now… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Talaya](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/talaya/32/1002_2.png) [@Talaya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Talaya)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979/140 "2011-05-10T02:48:35Z")
I chose also it depends, because that’s what happens to me. I generally get more the “she is cute” by my look, but for non- italian guys my accent is usually really sexy (accent do WONDERS with English and American guys 🙄 ) so I get that also. I agree on what is being said, I want to be cute when I wan to cuddle watching a movie or out for dinner, but when i’m all doll up for partying hard all night, fuck the cuteness! I wanna be sexy! [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979.md?page=6) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-am-fed-up-of-being-cute/189979.md?page=8)