# I need to get out of this friend zone. **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [January 21, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633 "2010-01-21T23:31:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/21 "2010-01-23T01:40:56Z")
> [@blackadam71](#): > > Thank K-train, I do have two ladies in mind and both are in church. One of them have this strange look or stare when I walk by just like the lady in the office like I describe in the thread. Are they checking me out? Or what? This lady sits very near or right behind me at church. She would look straight ahead like she was a statue or something. I think she saw me looking at her checking me out and she freaked out. What to you guys think? As men we tend to read too much into what women do. I learned a long time ago how to turn that function off in my brain and it has served me well šŸ˜ƒ. The lady that turned away when ā€œshe saw you looking at her checking you outā€ may have freaked out because she was looking around and saw you staring straight at her. Sounds like she may have just been uncomfortable with the situation. But then again, the only way to be certain is to **do something** šŸ˜›. As far as the office girl, the only thing you need to give her for valentines day or her bday is a **night out**. Sorry to be so blatant, but eventually youā€™re going to have to sack up and make a move. Like was said earlier by Steve and K-train, and as I mentioned in my previous post, the longer you wait the worse you make it for yourself. I think you should give yourself a time limit with this girl. For example, tell yourself that by next Friday you will ask her out, otherwise stop wasting your time, energy, and money. And if you end up going out with her on valentines day or her bday, **do not get her anything**. The gift can be going to a nice restaurant. Youā€™re already paying for dinner and you will have just started going out socially, so while she may be expecting something more, she shouldnā€™t be getting anything more. Again, sorry if Iā€™m being more blatant than expected, but Iā€™m just trying to help. ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/22 "2010-01-24T04:24:34Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > An important thing to remember, especially when it comes to friend zone situations, is that pheromones can help, but they can only go as far as you are willing to take them. What I mean is, if you are wearing pheromones around her, it may increase her attraction for you, but she seems like she is an introverted/shy person so she probably wonā€™t act on any new feelings she gets. You will have to make a move if you want to see something different. You say you have already asked her out and she declines, and Iā€™m sorry to say it, but she may just not be interested in you in that way. Not trying to burst your bubble or anything, just trying to help you put things into perspective. Again, itā€™s very possible she is into you and wants to take things further with you, but her personality may not allow her to as quickly as you hope. > > And if she gets nervous around you she may have had a bad experience in the past with another man, which could impede the progress you hope to make. Many women that have been burned in the past will take things very slow with their future relationships in an effort to avoid getting hurt again. You are right about that, she has been married before. She been devoice now for seven years, and she been in a couple of relationships. Maybe I have a real soft spot for her. She even admitted herself that she has a wall up. She also been through a lot in her life in the past few years scotties123, so she definitely wants to take things slow but I do have to be proactive to see if I can push this friendship to another level. ---
**Author:** ![mahalo\_silver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8dc957/32.png) [@mahalo\_silver](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mahalo_silver)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/23 "2010-01-24T12:00:17Z")
friend zone impossible. as mystery says " go away for a year and re-enter her life as someone of higher value. u were friend-zoned as u did not display high enough value for her". Re-framing of a guy is difficult for a women once shes put u in the friendship category. best bet is to dissapear and re-enter a year later with a much sleazier frame. this time ull show sexual intent strait off the bat and plow. be non-reactive to her shit tests. as the RSD guys say, ā€œjust plow through all her resistanceā€ā€¦tap her out till she submits, both mentally and physically, annoy her with your come ons till it becomes an easier option for her to just submit to your advancesā€¦all these Latin guys i know work on this theory on the dance floor, the same girl will reject em 10 times and they still go up and annoy em with a big sleazy grin. eventually the girls submit to there agression as they have no choice, its the only way theyll get rid of em. my friend, no joke, at meat market type bars and clubs, willl gradually, slyly lock his arm around the girls neck while talking to em, till shes in a neck holdā€¦haha, aint nuthin she can do but submit eventually šŸ™‚ lol ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/24 "2010-01-25T01:32:23Z")
> [@mahalo\_silver](#): > > friend zone impossible. as mystery says " go away for a year and re-enter her life as someone of higher value. u were friend-zoned as u did not display high enough value for her". Re-framing of a guy is difficult for a women once shes put u in the friendship category. best bet is to dissapear and re-enter a year later with a much sleazier frame. this time ull show sexual intent strait off the bat and plow. be non-reactive to her shit tests. > > as the RSD guys say, ā€œjust plow through all her resistanceā€ā€¦tap her out till she submits, both mentally and physically, annoy her with your come ons till it becomes an easier option for her to just submit to your advancesā€¦all these Latin guys i know work on this theory on the dance floor, the same girl will reject em 10 times and they still go up and annoy em with a big sleazy grin. eventually the girls submit to there agression as they have no choice, its the only way theyll get rid of em. > > my friend, no joke, at meat market type bars and clubs, willl gradually, slyly lock his arm around the girls neck while talking to em, till shes in a neck holdā€¦haha, aint nuthin she can do but submit eventually šŸ™‚ lol I might not can cut out of her life, but I can plow through her resistance.šŸ˜ƒ thanks ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/25 "2010-01-25T02:10:32Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > As men we tend to read too much into what women do. I learned a long time ago how to turn that function off in my brain and it has served me well šŸ˜ƒ. The lady that turned away when ā€œshe saw you looking at her checking you outā€ may have freaked out because she was looking around and saw you staring straight at her. Sounds like she may have just been uncomfortable with the situation. But then again, the only way to be certain is to **do something** šŸ˜›. > > As far as the office girl, the only thing you need to give her for valentines day or her bday is a **night out**. Sorry to be so blatant, but eventually youā€™re going to have to sack up and make a move. Like was said earlier by Steve and K-train, and as I mentioned in my previous post, the longer you wait the worse you make it for yourself. I think you should give yourself a time limit with this girl. For example, tell yourself that by next Friday you will ask her out, otherwise stop wasting your time, energy, and money. And if you end up going out with her on valentines day or her bday, **do not get her anything**. The gift can be going to a nice restaurant. Youā€™re already paying for dinner and you will have just started going out socially, so while she may be expecting something more, she shouldnā€™t be getting anything more. Again, sorry if Iā€™m being more blatant than expected, but Iā€™m just trying to help. The more I think about it the more it makes sense to me. I will not buy her anything for valentines day or for her Bday. Iā€™ll give myself a deadline of this Friday to ask her out on valentines day. This will give her time to think about it. How much time should I give her to reply? ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/26 "2010-01-25T02:30:38Z")
> [@blackadam71](#): > > The more I think about it the more it makes sense to me. I will not buy her anything for valentines day or for her Bday. Iā€™ll give myself a deadline of this Friday to ask her out on valentines day. This will give her time to think about it. How much time should I give her to reply? 10 seconds from when you ask. You can even give her a bit of an ultimatum if she avoids answering or seems hesitant: ā€œIā€™m not playing these games anymore, do you want to go out or notā€. If she says no, then stop flirting with her for good. Maintain a proper work relationship, but keep it only as a work relationship, no flirting or joining her on breaks, or having lunch with her. Again this is something to do if she says no. If you are still interested in her, ignoring her like this will drive her CRAZY. After a while sheā€™ll do whatever she can to get your attention, including going out. But if this situation arises, when I say a while I mean months or more. Patience is a virtue šŸ˜‰. If she says yes, then congrats! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/27 "2010-01-25T02:42:01Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > These are both very good products. You may want to get the 2x version of them because they usually take up to 4 sprays of each (1x) to get noticeable results. > > You should if you want it to go anywhere. Itā€™s not going to happen on itā€™s own. > > If a woman is giving clear signs that she is attracted to you and you do not respond, she will eventually lose interest because she assumes that you arenā€™t interested in her. And before you started giving her attention she had to earn yours. Once you started giving it back, she didnā€™t have to work as much for it. > > If you are still in the office it will always have the work undertone. Until you take this out of the office and into an actual social environment, it will not escalate to what you want it to. > > Too many compliments can hurt you, not help you. I know some people may say this sounds like PUA talk, but it isnā€™t. If you give her too much praise you will come off as more of a beta male than an alpha male, and 90% of women seek an alpha male. > > You are already seeing her all the time in the office and talking to her for hours some days. You donā€™t need to follow her on her smoke break. Just tell her you want to finish up some work you still have left. > > No you arenā€™t, she is making that up to see how you respond. I used to know a girl that did this. Whenever I called her she would be ā€œjust getting out the showerā€ or ā€œin the middle of changingā€. Women often do this because they know that by saying this you are picturing them naked. So that tells you something right there ā€“ she wants you to think of her naked šŸ˜‰. > > Of course she is teasing you šŸ˜›. She wants you to make a move. She is giving you all the signs and you arenā€™t taking them. But I highly recommend you donā€™t do anything at work. It could have some serious repercussions. Donā€™t ask her out, TELL her you are going out. Example: ā€œWeā€™re going to dinner this Friday, Iā€™ll pick you up at 8ā€. Gauge her response. If she says no or rejects the idea without giving a VALID reason, then she is just a tease and you probably wonā€™t go anywhere with it. > > Of course she does, every woman does šŸ™„. Donā€™t do the poem and flower thing. It makes you come off as weak and willing to bend to her will. Most women wonā€™t date a man like that, they will just use them until thereā€™s nothing left for them to get, then theyā€™ll move to the next one. > > Please keep in mind what Iā€™ve wrote is based off my own personal experience with women. I may be young, but Iā€™ve been around and seen some stuff lol. In a nutshell, stop giving her crap, stop complimenting her, stop following her around everywhere, and GO OUT WITH HER šŸ˜ƒ. I so thank you for your insight my friend. Iā€™m soaking up all your wisdom. ---
**Author:** ![K-Train](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/k-train/32/2253_2.png) [@K-Train](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/K-Train)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/28 "2010-01-25T02:43:22Z")
This has a been another report by Dr. Scottie123 šŸ†’ ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/29 "2010-01-25T02:49:38Z")
> [@blackadam71](#): > > I so thank you for your insight my friend. Iā€™m soaking up all your wisdom. Iā€™m glad I could help. Itā€™s more experience talking than wisdom šŸ˜ƒ. > [@K-Train](#): > > This has a been another report by Dr. Scottie123 šŸ†’ Hahaha. I need 2 more years before we can make that official. Then again, _Love_ Dr. Scotties123 has a nice ring to it šŸ˜‰. ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/30 "2010-01-25T03:04:18Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > 10 seconds from when you ask. You can even give her a bit of an ultimatum if she avoids answering or seems hesitant: ā€œIā€™m not playing these games anymore, do you want to go out or notā€. If she says no, then stop flirting with her for good. Maintain a proper work relationship, but keep it only as a work relationship, no flirting or joining her on breaks, or having lunch with her. Again this is something to do if she says no. If you are still interested in her, ignoring her like this will drive her CRAZY. After a while sheā€™ll do whatever she can to get your attention, including going out. But if this situation arises, when I say a while I mean months or more. Patience is a virtue šŸ˜‰. If she says yes, then congrats! šŸ˜ƒ Wow,This is great. Iā€™m beginning to understand. By doing all the things you told me to do it would make me be more valuable in her eyes, right? I have already given her attention and when I cut her off she will give me more attention, right? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/31 "2010-01-25T03:29:29Z")
> [@Steve](#): > > WOW! scotties123 has stolen my thunder, just like a thunder stealer would. Unequivocally the same advice I would give. Perfect šŸ™‚ > > Onto the mones: While both of those are great products to produce social results, build report and keep conversation lines open, I would go about it a bit differently. It already sounds if you both have a great social interaction going with your natural abilities. Like scotties123 has already so eloquently wrote you, my friend, need to break out of the friend zone and show her a more rugged, sexual side. > > Whenever I speak to a woman I find sexual innuendo. I mean everything: she could be talking about cooking pasta and somehow I will get that she is looking to be tied up, blind folded and have ice cubes dripped onto her exposed skin. I will call them out on it and you know what? At the very least I get a good laugh, but I would say 1/3rd of the time I get laid. Women are just as sexual as men are if not more. Her innuendoā€™s are telling you she wants a man with boundaries and who is comfortable with his own sexuality. > > Sheā€™s pretty much thinking right now that you are a doormat. Iā€™m not sure how far along you are in her use and abuse for everything heā€™s got while dangling possible intimacy as a carrot folder, but the further along you are the less likely she will ever sleep with you. So my advice is STOP being a doormat and start being a man. > > Think of it this way: Why would anyone want to go out with a guy who isnā€™t strong enough to say NO to a girl at whatever ridiculous request she has. She wouldnā€™t feel safe if they went on a date and someone tried to hurt her. In her mind you are not strong enough, have no boundaries and therefore cannot protect her and make her feel safe. She is thinking long-term here and as such if she were to have children and you said yes and bent over backwards to any request she made, then most likely your children would not survive and therefore you are not valued as a protector or for replication value. The primary goal of man is to LIVE. We extend our lives through our children. > > Iā€™m suggesting something that makes you come across with dark and mysterious tendencies. IJ and/or A314. Skip all the socials šŸ™‚ > > When a guy seeā€™s a hottie with a guy ā€œHEā€ deems a jerk, heā€™s usually wrong about the guy. We make that jerk fit a persona thatā€™s not true. The other guy is a jerk in our eyes, because heā€™s everything we are not. Heā€™s the protector, heā€™s the provider, he doesnā€™t get jealous, heā€™s alpha and has boundaries. This is where we see him as a jerk though, because he does have boundaries. He is willing to call her a brat and say no. He doesnā€™t do nice things for her to win her favor, which is quite frankly, manipulative, he does nice things when they are deserved. > > Get yourself some IJ, and have enough gumption to move on if thatā€™s what it calls for. You donā€™t have to be mean, but you donā€™t have to be abused either.šŸ˜› I have already order IO and Instant gentleman. Will Instant gentleman help me? I bought the ā€œto goā€ size. Iā€™m going to buy the A314 once I receive my GC so it can cut down on the price. Can some one explain to me a little bit about this product? ---
**Author:** ![K-Train](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/k-train/32/2253_2.png) [@K-Train](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/K-Train)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/32 "2010-01-25T03:38:05Z")
> [@blackadam71](#): > > I have already order IO and Instant gentleman. Will Instant gentleman help me? I bought the ā€œto goā€ size. Iā€™m going to buy the A314 once I receive my GC so it can cut down on the price. Can some one explain to me a little bit about this product? Ahh, A314, my BABY! Itā€™s good stuff man, Iā€™m sure youā€™ll enjoy it. The thing is that A314 isnā€™t as obvious as most pheros, itā€™s effects are quite subtle and it may take a while to really recognize hits but itā€™s awesome for the work environment and even clubs. My advice would be to start with one drop, and try that out for a few days. Then go up to 2, 3 and maybe 4 but 4 drops should be the max. Itā€™s main purpose is to make you seem like a person with high value, THE man. But congruence is a big factor also, so one thing I recommend is maybe putting a drop under your nose to feel the self effects better. I call A314 my anti-friend zone phero because when Iā€™m wearing it I KNOW I canā€™t be friend zoned, and even if I am I know itā€™s only temporary and that I can get out of it easily. However once again, congruence will determine the results you get. You must act the part or else you will fail. šŸ˜‰ A good thing to do would be to combine this with some IH or maybe some CTTM and some [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/).šŸ˜ƒ Oh and check out my journal because Iā€™ve got LOTS of reports on A314. Scotties journal also has some reports on it so check that out too. ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/33 "2010-01-25T03:43:17Z")
> [@K-Train](#): > > Ahh, A314, my BABY! > > Itā€™s good stuff man, Iā€™m sure youā€™ll enjoy it. The thing is that A314 isnā€™t as obvious as most pheros, itā€™s effects are quite subtle and it may take a while to really recognize hits but itā€™s awesome for the work environment and even clubs. > > My advice would be to start with one drop, and try that out for a few days. Then go up to 2, 3 and maybe 4 but 4 drops should be the max. Itā€™s main purpose is to make you seem like a person with high value, THE man. But congruence is a big factor also, so one thing I recommend is maybe putting a drop under your nose to feel the self effects better. > > I call A314 my anti-friend zone phero because when Iā€™m wearing it I KNOW I canā€™t be friend zoned, and even if I am I know itā€™s only temporary and that I can get out of it easily. However once again, congruence will determine the results you get. You must act the part or else you will fail. šŸ˜‰ > > A good thing to do would be to combine this with some IH or maybe some CTTM and some Instant Shine.šŸ˜ƒ > > Oh and check out my journal because Iā€™ve got LOTS of reports on A314. Scotties journal also has some reports on it so check that out too. Great, How about Instant Gentlemen? What dose it do? Are there any reports on this product as well? ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/34 "2010-01-25T04:15:11Z")
> [@blackadam71](#): > > Wow,This is great. Iā€™m beginning to understand. By doing all the things you told me to do it would make me be more valuable in her eyes, right? I have already given her attention and when I cut her off she will give me more attention, right? šŸ˜ƒ You got it šŸ™‚. Letā€™s pretend she declines your offer and you stop flirting with her because of it. While it isnā€™t universal by any means, this is the usual progression: You stop flirting and showing her affection. She thinks you are trying to run some kind of game on her and disregards it for a while. You stay on course and donā€™t show her affection. She starts wondering whatā€™s going on and will most likely ask you things like ā€œwhatā€™s wrong?ā€ and ā€œwhy are you mad at me?ā€. Eventually she may get confrontational about it and say things like ā€œI canā€™t believe you are acting like thisā€, ā€œwhatā€™s your problemā€, and general personal attacks. They do this to get an emotional response out of you. Even if itā€™s a negative emotional response, all they are looking for is some type of emotion from you directed at them. After this mess, she will return the favor and start ignoring you as well. But she wonā€™t be doing it the way you are. You will be maintaining a professional and polite relationship, but she will resort to completely ignoring you. After some time (like I said before, it could very well be months) things will gradually get back to normal with both of you flirting a bit. This is now your last chance to get anything to happen if itā€™s going to. You have demonstrated to her that you are not someone she can walk all over and she will respect you for it, even if she doesnā€™t show it. Make a move. Done. Again, this is **not** universal. It doesnā€™t always go this way. However, it does tend to follow this trend for the most part. But in the meantime, donā€™t just sit around and wait for her (unless you are actually in love with this woman, in which case I suggest you evaluate it and make sure itā€™s not just lust). Meet other women, mingle, improve your social skills. Fine tune yourself. You very well may meet another woman in this time that catches you by surprise and makes you realize that you really deserve someone good and not someone that takes advantage of you. Again, donā€™t limit yourself, mix it up, meet people. Keep in mind you arenā€™t going to ignore her 100%. Itā€™s important (for obvious reasons too) that you need to maintain a good work relationship, otherwise things could get bad. And thereā€™s no reason to be rude. You can be nice without being submissive. You can still have casual conversations with her, but you need to be careful that it doesnā€™t fall back into what it was before. The key is that you arenā€™t giving her the attention that comes with attraction. > [@blackadam71](#): > > Great, How about Instant Gentlemen? What dose it do? Are there any reports on this product as well? A314 would be better for you in this situation. I agree with what K-train said. Start at 1 drop, see how it effects you and those around you. Donā€™t be afraid to up it to 2 or 3 drops, but use 1 drop until you get a handle of it. Youā€™d be surprised how much of a difference 1 or 2 drops makes (not always good, thatā€™s why you need to test it slowly). And like K said, IH would be a good addition to it. If things get further with her and you end up going out, you could consider TUTH. Please remember, Iā€™m not an expert on this stuff, I just speak of what I know (doesnā€™t mean itā€™s always right šŸ˜›). ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/35 "2010-01-27T03:42:01Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > You got it šŸ™‚. Letā€™s pretend she declines your offer and you stop flirting with her because of it. While it isnā€™t universal by any means, this is the usual progression: You stop flirting and showing her affection. She thinks you are trying to run some kind of game on her and disregards it for a while. You stay on course and donā€™t show her affection. She starts wondering whatā€™s going on and will most likely ask you things like ā€œwhatā€™s wrong?ā€ and ā€œwhy are you mad at me?ā€. Eventually she may get confrontational about it and say things like ā€œI canā€™t believe you are acting like thisā€, ā€œwhatā€™s your problemā€, and general personal attacks. They do this to get an emotional response out of you. Even if itā€™s a negative emotional response, all they are looking for is some type of emotion from you directed at them. After this mess, she will return the favor and start ignoring you as well. But she wonā€™t be doing it the way you are. You will be maintaining a professional and polite relationship, but she will resort to completely ignoring you. After some time (like I said before, it could very well be months) things will gradually get back to normal with both of you flirting a bit. This is now your last chance to get anything to happen if itā€™s going to. You have demonstrated to her that you are not someone she can walk all over and she will respect you for it, even if she doesnā€™t show it. Make a move. Done. > > Again, this is **not** universal. It doesnā€™t always go this way. However, it does tend to follow this trend for the most part. But in the meantime, donā€™t just sit around and wait for her (unless you are actually in love with this woman, in which case I suggest you evaluate it and make sure itā€™s not just lust). Meet other women, mingle, improve your social skills. Fine tune yourself. You very well may meet another woman in this time that catches you by surprise and makes you realize that you really deserve someone good and not someone that takes advantage of you. Again, donā€™t limit yourself, mix it up, meet people. > > Keep in mind you arenā€™t going to ignore her 100%. Itā€™s important (for obvious reasons too) that you need to maintain a good work relationship, otherwise things could get bad. And thereā€™s no reason to be rude. You can be nice without being submissive. You can still have casual conversations with her, but you need to be careful that it doesnā€™t fall back into what it was before. The key is that you arenā€™t giving her the attention that comes with attraction. > > A314 would be better for you in this situation. I agree with what K-train said. Start at 1 drop, see how it effects you and those around you. Donā€™t be afraid to up it to 2 or 3 drops, but use 1 drop until you get a handle of it. Youā€™d be surprised how much of a difference 1 or 2 drops makes (not always good, thatā€™s why you need to test it slowly). And like K said, IH would be a good addition to it. If things get further with her and you end up going out, you could consider TUTH. > > Please remember, Iā€™m not an expert on this stuff, I just speak of what I know (doesnā€™t mean itā€™s always right šŸ˜›). Thank you and I will keep you guys posted on the matter. Like I said before I will give myself a deadline of this Friday to ask her out. Today ( which is Tuesday) we have talked and joked around with each other but I didnā€™t flirt with her, which is hard for me to do.šŸ˜‰ My products are on the way and I canā€™t wait to try them out. I wonā€™t see her on Wednesday or Thursday because I have to go to anther department in the agency.ā˜¹ I would try and not to flake out but stick to my guns,and give you guys her response OK? ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/36 "2010-01-30T04:55:10Z")
> [@blackadam71](#): > > Thank you and I will keep you guys posted on the matter. Like I said before I will give myself a deadline of this Friday to ask her out. Today ( which is Tuesday) we have talked and joked around with each other but I didnā€™t flirt with her, which is hard for me to do.šŸ˜‰ My products are on the way and I canā€™t wait to try them out. I wonā€™t see her on Wednesday or Thursday because I have to go to anther department in the agency.ā˜¹ I would try and not to flake out but stick to my guns,and give you guys her response OK? Well you guys its time for the big update. First off let me tell you guys that my products came in which was the TO GO size of IO, IG, and a freebie sample of IJ. I did what is sometimes suggested in the message boards that you need to just try out just one of the mones one at a time to see the responses that you get more clearly. I put on four sprays of IO. one on the chest, two sprays on the neck so I can feel the effects myself, and one on my wrists. then I used my own cologne to cover the scent. However after wearing it for a few minutes I felt more at ease with myself. The mixture of my cologne and IO was weird. I just felt different about myself and the sent smelled great. Iā€™m not sure if my co-workers knew a different but I sure did. Well during my time in the office with my lady friend we were talking to another co-worker together. Now I did not flirt with her this week, and I wasnā€™t at the office that Wednesday and Thursday. but I did notice a few signs while I was with her. OK, before we started talking to our fellow co-worker, she was reading the horoscopes. She read my sign. and my sign read " you work really hard at your goals but you wish to hard, you need to work things out."( What the hell that means I donā€™t know!) But I use that as a window of opportunely to ask her out on valentines day. And she said yes!!! but here is the weird part about all this. When the other worker came to talk to us, we began to joke around with each other. Then as she was talking to the other worker she kept on winking she eyes at me. She never did that to me before. I kept my cool and didnā€™t flirt back at her. When it was time to go home I was siting on a bench outside when she came to me and touched my chest( she caught me off guard, I should of made my move, but there was this crazy old dude talking to me, wouldnā€™t get out of my f\*\*king face!!šŸ˜ ) and she told me good-bye and that she will call me. but she didnā€™t. So what I going to do is wait and see want she going to do. So guys at this point what do you think I should do? blackadam71 ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 5:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/37 "2010-01-30T05:23:53Z")
Congrats and nicely done! You have a date with her, but donā€™t fall back into the old routine. I suggest you still do **not** flirt with her at all. If she touches you, **donā€™t** act on it. If she flirts with you, **donā€™t** act on it. If she winks at you, act like **nothing** happened. The reason for this? It will build up anticipation for when you two go out. You can show her affection on the date, but donā€™t go overboard. The same rules from before apply even on the date. You can flirt, but donā€™t become a door mat again. Too many compliments are bad. Donā€™t try to hard to be ā€œsweetā€ to her or to do something ā€œspecialā€. Just go out, and **enjoy yourself** šŸ™‚. As far as the calling thing, donā€™t call her. You can talk to her next time you see her, or when she calls you. And when you see her, donā€™t bring it up. Donā€™t let it seem like it bothered you, because girls are evil and will use this kind of stuff to drive guys crazy šŸ˜›. ---
**Author:** ![Mtnjim](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mtnjim/32/2010_2.png) [@Mtnjim](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mtnjim)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/38 "2010-02-02T00:16:09Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > Congrats and nicely done! You have a date with her, but donā€™t fall back into the old routine. Hey Scotties123, I see you now have **666** posts!šŸ˜® ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/39 "2010-02-02T00:22:31Z")
> [@Mtnjim](#): > > Hey Scotties123, I see you now have **666** posts!šŸ˜® I was also born on Friday the 13th šŸ˜‰ (really, I was lol). ---
**Author:** ![blackadam71](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blackadam71/32/1032_2.png) [@blackadam71](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blackadam71)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633/40 "2010-02-06T02:25:57Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > Congrats and nicely done! You have a date with her, but donā€™t fall back into the old routine. I suggest you still do **not** flirt with her at all. If she touches you, **donā€™t** act on it. If she flirts with you, **donā€™t** act on it. If she winks at you, act like **nothing** happened. The reason for this? It will build up anticipation for when you two go out. You can show her affection on the date, but donā€™t go overboard. The same rules from before apply even on the date. You can flirt, but donā€™t become a door mat again. Too many compliments are bad. Donā€™t try to hard to be ā€œsweetā€ to her or to do something ā€œspecialā€. Just go out, and **enjoy yourself** šŸ™‚. > > As far as the calling thing, donā€™t call her. You can talk to her next time you see her, or when she calls you. And when you see her, donā€™t bring it up. Donā€™t let it seem like it bothered you, because girls are evil and will use this kind of stuff to drive guys crazy šŸ˜›. OK guys, Here is an update on the matter at hand with my lady friend at work. The week started out kind of good but it ended up kind of badly. what happened was that things were find until Tuesday. My lady friend was behind in her office work.(two weeks worth of office work) At first I offer to help her out a little. I was going to do some paper work at home Tuesday night after school, Wednesday, and Thursday. But something happen. I ended getting sick a school, so I e-mailed her and said that I wasnā€™t going to help her because I was sick. I was sick for two days. During this time she also got sick. When we both got back to work on Friday( today), I had sprayed on 4 sprays of IG and 4 sprays of IO. during that morning we were joking with each other like we normally do. I believe that I stepped on her toes a little bit, Im not sure. but the conversation got heated. At this time I was the most confident I ever been with this chick. She said that I never help her out. At this time she was acting real bratty and mean. Then I said that she should bring that meanness to our date on next Saturday. I told her I didnā€™t want her to get cold feet on me and change her mine about the date. I said that I didnā€™t want any kind of excuses form her. Then she said that she might still have paper work for that week to do on the week end.( next Saturday) She was back pelleting on the matter telling me that I donā€™t know her like that, telling her what to do. She start cussing at me but I told her cussing donā€™t mean nothing to me. The last thing that she told me was that she finally know who she is dealing it. She was so pissed she didnā€™t even say good bye to me today. All during this two weeks I stop given her poems and flirting with her. She always act like she always busy, but I know for a fact that she is not as busy as me. She just mad because I wasnā€™t her door mat any more. And since I had the last word on the matter, she is going to be thinking about me all this weekend šŸ˜›. Do you guys think that I was too mean to her and should apologized to her next week at work? Or wait for her to come to me? I think that she understands that she cant mistake my kindness for weakness anymore. blackadam71 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633.md?page=1) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-get-out-of-this-friend-zone/35633.md?page=3)