# I need to re-gain a woman's trust **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 5, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165 "2011-03-05T23:02:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/1 "2011-03-05T23:02:30Z")
Hi, Few months ago my then-girlfriend and I broke up. I’m 30, she’s 26. Our relationship lasted for 3 years, and for about half of that time we’ve been away from each other. Like, in different countries. Same now. We’ve been living together for about a year just before the breakup, now I moved to other country again (job stuff). After we broke up, there was a mix of friendliness, biterness, grievances, longing, good memories, bad memories… At some points things got too bitter and we both said some things we shouldn’t have said. Some of them in front of other people. Since then (about 3 months ago) there was no contact between us. Well, I did email her every now and then (probably 4 times during 3 months), but she didn’t ever reply. She’s still living where we’ve been living together, I still have some friends there, and sometimes they would tell me that even when she’s fixed on her decision not to contact me anymore, she still misses me, she’s interested how am I etc. Well, few days ago she finally contacted me. Just a short email, claiming at first that she doesn’t care about me at all, but later actually getting into a sentimental mood and admitting that getting apart was more of an “sensible”, intellectual decision than one of the heart. To be totally honest with you, I just want her back. We live in different countries, I’ll be there maybe in two or three months from now (job stuff again). It’s a little town, and it’s very likely we’ll see each other then. During last half year of our relationship, I’ve had a lot of problems with my job situation, therefore with money issues. That caused me a bit of a breakdown. That was the main reason she decided we should break up. She decided I’m an unstable person, both financially and emotionally. Well, I managed to get my sh\*t together since then. I improved and stabilized my professional and financial life, I also managed my emotions rather well. I could say I am a happy and succesful person now, apart from the fact that I lost the woman I love. It was a very intense and beautiful relationship. Always very emotional. I know she still cares about me, I just need to show her that I discarded all my weaknesses, that I’m the guy that she met few years ago and fell in love with. A soft, friendly, warm, caring man. That’s who I always was and that’s how she always saw me. She just changed her mind completely over few months of failure. I want to make the best impression possible when we meet each other next time. I want to appear as a man who will never fail again, stronger than ever, one who can be trusted more than anyone, one who oozes warmth and good feelings, but also a sexy one and cool as well. I want her to want to have contact with me, to talk things over. I want her to feel the magic again, the magic that was always happening when we were happy together. I want her to feel that I am the person that was making her feel that way. What should I use? I’ve done some reading… IG? IO? IS? A314? A mix of those? I don’t expect the 'mones to bring me a miracle, I am working on it myself, I changed my life already, I am working on the lady by contacting her in the way she always liked, by a bit of flattery, a bit of laughter, some good memories… sorry for such a long post 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tlxfinest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@tlxfinest](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tlxfinest)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2011, 11:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/2 "2011-03-05T23:44:39Z")
> [@Marihino](#): > > Hi, > > Few months ago my then-girlfriend and I broke up. I’m 30, she’s 26. Our relationship lasted for 3 years, and for about half of that time we’ve been away from each other. Like, in different countries. Same now. We’ve been living together for about a year just before the breakup, now I moved to other country again (job stuff). > > After we broke up, there was a mix of friendliness, biterness, grievances, longing, good memories, bad memories… At some points things got too bitter and we both said some things we shouldn’t have said. Some of them in front of other people. Since then (about 3 months ago) there was no contact between us. Well, I did email her every now and then (probably 4 times during 3 months), but she didn’t ever reply. She’s still living where we’ve been living together, I still have some friends there, and sometimes they would tell me that even when she’s fixed on her decision not to contact me anymore, she still misses me, she’s interested how am I etc. > > Well, few days ago she finally contacted me. Just a short email, claiming at first that she doesn’t care about me at all, but later actually getting into a sentimental mood and admitting that getting apart was more of an “sensible”, intellectual decision than one of the heart. > > To be totally honest with you, I just want her back. We live in different countries, I’ll be there maybe in two or three months from now (job stuff again). It’s a little town, and it’s very likely we’ll see each other then. > > During last half year of our relationship, I’ve had a lot of problems with my job situation, therefore with money issues. That caused me a bit of a breakdown. That was the main reason she decided we should break up. She decided I’m an unstable person, both financially and emotionally. Well, I managed to get my sh\*t together since then. I improved and stabilized my professional and financial life, I also managed my emotions rather well. I could say I am a happy and succesful person now, apart from the fact that I lost the woman I love. It was a very intense and beautiful relationship. Always very emotional. I know she still cares about me, I just need to show her that I discarded all my weaknesses, that I’m the guy that she met few years ago and fell in love with. A soft, friendly, warm, caring man. That’s who I always was and that’s how she always saw me. She just changed her mind completely over few months of failure. > > I want to make the best impression possible when we meet each other next time. I want to appear as a man who will never fail again, stronger than ever, one who can be trusted more than anyone, one who oozes warmth and good feelings, but also a sexy one and cool as well. I want her to want to have contact with me, to talk things over. I want her to feel the magic again, the magic that was always happening when we were happy together. I want her to feel that I am the person that was making her feel that way. > > What should I use? I’ve done some reading… IG? IO? IS? A314? A mix of those? > > I don’t expect the 'mones to bring me a miracle, I am working on it myself, I changed my life already, I am working on the lady by contacting her in the way she always liked, by a bit of flattery, a bit of laughter, some good memories… > > sorry for such a long post 😉 As far as getting your ex girlfriend back, you have to enable the trust she had for you and to appear as that status of the “man”, A314 would be your best bet. I personally, never used it but have been using IG for a long time. It creates a warm, trust and dependable vibe. Having it buffered with IS would be great. I strongly suggest you to use IH which creates that deep connection. How much to apply and your sweet spots is something you must alter on your own. Apply more of certain one will project the aura vibe she will be feeling. In my best opinion, as for myself, Id go with 2 sprays of IG or A314, 2 sprays of IO and 2-4 sprays of IS. After things are in a good mood, apply IH and IS. But then again, like I said, you must alter it on your own. Good luck!! ---
**Author:** ![PheroJack](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pherojack/32/527_2.png) [@PheroJack](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroJack)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2011, 11:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/3 "2011-03-05T23:58:16Z")
A314 + IH + IS. You will, most likely, not be disappointed 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lamentofking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@lamentofking](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lamentofking)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 4:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/4 "2011-03-06T04:32:47Z")
> [@Marihino](#): > > Hi, > > Few months ago my then-girlfriend and I broke up. I’m 30, she’s 26. Our relationship lasted for 3 years, and for about half of that time we’ve been away from each other. Like, in different countries. Same now. We’ve been living together for about a year just before the breakup, now I moved to other country again (job stuff). > > After we broke up, there was a mix of friendliness, biterness, grievances, longing, good memories, bad memories… At some points things got too bitter and we both said some things we shouldn’t have said. Some of them in front of other people. Since then (about 3 months ago) there was no contact between us. Well, I did email her every now and then (probably 4 times during 3 months), but she didn’t ever reply. She’s still living where we’ve been living together, I still have some friends there, and sometimes they would tell me that even when she’s fixed on her decision not to contact me anymore, she still misses me, she’s interested how am I etc. > > Well, few days ago she finally contacted me. Just a short email, claiming at first that she doesn’t care about me at all, but later actually getting into a sentimental mood and admitting that getting apart was more of an “sensible”, intellectual decision than one of the heart. > > To be totally honest with you, I just want her back. We live in different countries, I’ll be there maybe in two or three months from now (job stuff again). It’s a little town, and it’s very likely we’ll see each other then. > > During last half year of our relationship, I’ve had a lot of problems with my job situation, therefore with money issues. That caused me a bit of a breakdown. That was the main reason she decided we should break up. She decided I’m an unstable person, both financially and emotionally. Well, I managed to get my sh\*t together since then. I improved and stabilized my professional and financial life, I also managed my emotions rather well. I could say I am a happy and succesful person now, apart from the fact that I lost the woman I love. It was a very intense and beautiful relationship. Always very emotional. I know she still cares about me, I just need to show her that I discarded all my weaknesses, that I’m the guy that she met few years ago and fell in love with. A soft, friendly, warm, caring man. That’s who I always was and that’s how she always saw me. She just changed her mind completely over few months of failure. > > I want to make the best impression possible when we meet each other next time. I want to appear as a man who will never fail again, stronger than ever, one who can be trusted more than anyone, one who oozes warmth and good feelings, but also a sexy one and cool as well. I want her to want to have contact with me, to talk things over. I want her to feel the magic again, the magic that was always happening when we were happy together. I want her to feel that I am the person that was making her feel that way. > > What should I use? I’ve done some reading… IG? IO? IS? A314? A mix of those? > > I don’t expect the 'mones to bring me a miracle, I am working on it myself, I changed my life already, I am working on the lady by contacting her in the way she always liked, by a bit of flattery, a bit of laughter, some good memories… > > sorry for such a long post 😉 You’re looking to regain trust . ? IH is your winner . Use with IS to lighten the mood . Want to be sexy . ? [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/) will help make you look more sexually attractive . After reading your post, (I may have read it wrong) the thing that caught my eye though was that she left you when you weren’t at your best . I mean if she can’t stay with you through thick and thin it makes me wonder how strong her love is for you . No disrepect intended . You say you love her . Just be certain she is what you want . If she is then go all out to get her back . ---
**Author:** ![K-Train](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/k-train/32/2253_2.png) [@K-Train](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/K-Train)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 1:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/5 "2011-03-06T13:52:58Z")
Great advice from above but also please remember that you should be willing to cut ties and move on at any time. Don’t fall into the oneitis trap and forget about all the other women out there in the world. Remeber that you’re a great person and that you’re a catch and that if she doesn’t agree then that’s her loss. Ok now that the public service message is done, I’ll go ahead and say run with PheroJack’s suggestion, 2-3 drops A314, IH, and [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/). If you’ve got the money, I’d also suggest investing in some A1 (get the “half-strength” from lovescent). That should help induce the fallout effect and if that happens I think you’ll enjoy the relationship much more.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/6 "2011-03-06T15:07:55Z")
> [@lamentofking](#): > > After reading your post, (I may have read it wrong) the thing that caught my eye though was that she left you when you weren’t at your best . I mean if she can’t stay with you through thick and thin it makes me wonder how strong her love is for you . No disrepect intended . > > You say you love her . Just be certain she is what you want . If she is then go all out to get her back . Well, life was tough pretty much all the time since we met each other. Before that, my life was very stable and enjoyable. I’ve been always working in hotel environments all around Europe, doing all kinds of jobs from room attendant through restaurant manager to chef. I also have a BA in jazz composition and performance, and have been an active musician since my teenage years. After losing a long-term job, I moved to another country, and that’s when I met the girl. We fell for each other heavily and immediately. But very soon she finished her Masters studies and got a high-profile job offer in a very good bioscience institute in Swiss Alps. She moved there. We’ve been trying to spend as much time together as we could - but it was difficult, we’d be together for a month, then away for two, then together for three weeks, then apart for three months, and so on. It was very hard for both of us. After one and a half year, we decided that I should move there as well. So I did. Unfortunately, swiss law was not very kind for foreigners trying to work and live in that country. Being a hotel pro, it wasn’t very hard to find a job in a town that’s a well-know mountain destination, but one also needs a permit from the government, and that was harder. Sometimes I’d get it just for a month, and after that I wasn’t allowed to work without the permit. Sometimes I was having the permit, but it was a gap between summer and winter seasons, when nobody comes there, all the hotels are closed and it was impossible to find a job. Vicious circle. It was hard, but she’s been wonderful and extremely supportive all that time. Then the moment came when I had to leave the country and come back to the UK - after being without a job and without the permit for 3 months, I just wasn’t allowed to stay in Switzerland. That was just more than she could take, she was very disappointed, she didn’t want us to be away from each other again. She didn’t want the future to be uncertain. So, soon after I left, we broke up. She didn’t exactly break up with me, the decision was pretty much mutual and came up over a few conversations. After that, things got a bit ugly, there was some lies involved and other unpleasant stuff. Now, few months later, I know that I still love her and I miss her a lot. From what I hear, she might be feeling in a similar way, but too often she’s like: _“that’s my decision and I’m sticking to it, even if life bites my butt to show me I was wrong”_. That’s just the way it is, it’s her way of defending herself against the unpredictabilities of life. The swiss law concerning foreign workers changed a bit this year. I would be able to come and work without worrying about legal stuff. In fact, I have a good job offer from that area. It would start in July, and I will be attending a “working interview” in June. That’s when I’ll probably see her. I’m hoping for the 'mones to help me a bit in getting that feel-good vibe that was always between us. It was very much apparent even in the toughest of times. I believe we were only able to decide on breaking up because we were away from each other at that moment, and it happened over the phone. If it was direct contact, we’d just laugh it off five minutes later and hug and go for a walk and then to bed. There was always some magic happening when we were close to each other, and I want her to experience this again. In a very obvious way. I don’t know if I’ll have ten minutes or three hours or five days to talk to her. So I kind of need it to hit her in the face 🙂 > [@K-Train](#): > > Great advice from above but also please remember that you should be willing to cut ties and move on at any time. Don’t fall into the oneitis trap and forget about all the other women out there in the world. Remeber that you’re a great person and that you’re a catch and that if she doesn’t agree then that’s her loss. > > Ok now that the public service message is done, I’ll go ahead and say run with PheroJack’s suggestion, 2-3 drops A314, IH, and Instant Shine. If you’ve got the money, I’d also suggest investing in some A1 (get the “half-strength” from lovescent). That should help induce the fallout effect and if that happens I think you’ll enjoy the relationship much more.😉 I was willing to move on pretty much straight away. I’m not forgetting about other ladies 🙂 Both being a chef and being a musician don’t work as lady-repellers 😉 and since I was single I wasn’t afraid to take advantage of this, and all my other charms 😃 To be honest, it never took much effort from me to get very friendly with the ladies. Not all of them, and not even most of them, but fortunately I was always able to easily find ones I really liked to really like me back. I moved on with my life, I went up in my professional paths, I’ve done a few things to secure my future, my financial situation improved a lot, as well as my social status. I just want her to know all that without me having to say a word about it 😉 Everything could be as good as it ever was, and as good as we ever wished, immediately. I want to change her _“that’s my decision and I’m sticking to it”_ to _“that’s my decision, but it might have been too hasty and I’ll be happy to reconsider another one”_. That’s why I was mainly thinking about A314 - to make her trust me instantly, and to make her see me as a stable, dependable guy. For that happy, feel-good vibe, I was thinking about IS and IO and IH. Either one of those or a combination. What is A-1? The link doesn’t seem to be working. edit: oh, I just found some info on A-1 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/7 "2011-03-06T20:35:01Z")
> [@](#): > > That’s why I was mainly thinking about [A314](https://a314.com/product/a314-classic/) - to make her trust me instantly, and to make her see me as a stable, dependable guy. Yeah, not quite. It will definitely help steer feelings in that direction, moreso with a little [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) but it won’t “make” her feel anything for certain and it won’t be “instant” if it does work. It’s an edge, it will gently and subtly nudge feelings in that direction and will work if your own behavior and attitude reflects the same message as your mones but it will take a little time and effort…not near as much as if you tried it mone free but still. ---
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 12:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/8 "2011-03-07T12:42:17Z")
Of course I am willing to put time and effort into all this. That’s what doing - right now just by e-mails and other means of long-distance communication, but there are results. I can get some more when I have a chance to see her and talk to her directly, I’m sure of it. We’ve been away from each other a lot, and sometimes there were some issues arising during such time. But after getting together, it was always so much easier to solve them. It was like _"ok, that was hard and painful, but it’s so good to be together, even if only once a month, that it’s totally worth it_". When I moved in with her, more than one year before we broke up, we both thought and hoped that it’s final. And when I had to move out again, and once more to go to another country, she decided that she can’t take it anymore. She didn’t break up with me because she didn’t want to be with me. We broke up because she didn’t see herself being away from her man again, she didn’t want to miss me and wait for me to visit her for a short moment every two months or so. She didn’t want any uncertainty about her future anymore. But she still loved me, and she admitted it, even if she was trying not to say that too often at that moment. Since then, she broke the contact with me altogether, but lately picked it up. In the meantime, I changed my life enough so there’s no need for anything to be uncertain. Now, there’s also a chance for me to have a good, stable, well-paid, legal job, starting this next summer, in the area where she lives, without having to worry about permits and sh\*t like that. And from our mutual friends I know that I’m still the most important guy in her life, even if she won’t tell me that. I am aware that 'mones won’t do the job for me. But I hope they would help me get it done that tiny bit quicker, or increase the chance of getting it done. If/when I see her, I just want to get that good vibe more obvious. The vibe was always there, and I’m almost sure it will be when we get to see each other. I just want it to be more irresistible, I want her to think with her heart for a change. I want her to feel that it’s better when I’m around than when I’m away. And the closer the better. If that’s, as you put it, an edge, I’m happy with it. That’s what I need. ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 9:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/9 "2011-03-09T09:48:38Z")
Well, she broke up with you because you seemed unstable, financially and emotionally. The two of you also could not live in one country. You are 30. As a woman, those things are major obstacles for me to see a future with a man. You improved your financial stability to an acceptable level, you are moving to her area and she admitted to having some feelings for you. These are good things. You also havent done anything to make her cross you off her list, you haven’t mistreated her, you did not cheat, it was strictly about practical and temporary issues. So you have a good chance. Here are a few tips: Show your financial stability rather than tell her. Let her see you are moving back for a steady job, tell work anecdotes that make it clear the job is good, be well dressed and keep your car and apartment clean. When she realises on her own that you are financially stable, it sticks more and as a bonus you do not look like you are trying to convince her. To show emotional stability, avoid telling her too many problems and avoid being to negative, but also be realistic. Being consistent in the amount of effort you put into the friendship/relationship also greatly contributes to a solid impression. If you call ten times one week, then ignore her the next, she will feel like she cannot count on you. If you date her once or twice a week and call every other day, it looks more stable. You can mix it up a little to avoid boredom, but err on the consistent side as she probably already thinks you are exciting. You are a jazz musician who is attracting women, travelling the world and leading a life of excitement. You are not, say, an accountant who is pretty introverted and who needs to mention female friends and his martial arts hobby to balance out the stable image he projects. When a woman is picking a husband, she realises she will have to sleep with him and only him every day for the rest of her life, and she also realises he alone will be her partner when it comes to gving the resulting child a good life. Neither of those ideas should be unattractive. Women generally want to see in a man both the potential to be a stable, succesful husband who can protect her and a baby against the harshness of life, and to be an exciting, desired lover who can take her on adventures and open her mind. Most guys already show the first, and need to add the second, with you, it is reverse. A314 will help you look financially succesful, IG and IH would help with a emotionally stable impression and help her b honest about her feelings. When you meet her again, flirt with her frequently in a friendly way, but not immediately in a sexual way. When she thinks “He probably wants to get together”, but is not 100% sure, the sexual tension can climb without pushing her to decide right now if you are a suitable guy to sleep with. Flirting too little can make the sexual tension drop. Once you have shown her many instances of your emotional and financial stability, you can make your intentions clear. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 10:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/10 "2011-03-09T10:46:32Z")
Something keeps coming back to me when I read this. What exactly did you do to lose her trust ? You had a bad job situation and financial difficulties ?? > [@](#): > > During last half year of our relationship, I’ve had a lot of problems with my job situation, therefore with money issues. That caused me a bit of a breakdown. That was the main reason she decided we should break up. She decided I’m an unstable person, both financially and emotionally. Well, I managed to get my sh\*t together since then. Now you mentioned you had a “breakdown” which is part of what led to the breakup. I am assuming that breakdown did not include violence. Relationships (ones that work) are give and take. They dont run smoothly along always stable and happy. The future is not “certain” there is always uncertainty in everything. You mention she didnt leave you because she didnt love you but because of the uncertainty. What will happen next time life becomes uncertain (and it will) . I have been married over 20 years and I can guarantee you, you will both have you ups and downs. Times when one or the other becomes emotional , times when your both faced with financial difficulties. Those times are the true test of love. Those are the times when you support each other emotionally financially and spiritually. But she walked away. Now things are looking better for you and suddenly you get a email. I think its just not you who needs to regain her trust but she needs to regain yours. I am not suggesting you dont move forward with a relationship with her but this is something you may want to consider. You want a partner in life who helps support you not one who high tails it and runs when the going gets rough. I suggest A314 and IH pheromonally but I also suggest that if you do decide to get back together this is something you discuss. I would let her know that life is not “Certain” and you cant give her certainty but what you can give her is worth far more. Love and support when life’s uncertainties arise and I think you deserve that in return. That’s what it means to be in a relationship. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/11 "2011-03-09T14:42:35Z")
> [@](#): > > I have been married over 20 years and I can guarantee you, you will both have you ups and downs. Times when one or the other becomes emotional , times when your both faced with financial difficulties. Those times are the true test of love. Those are the times when you support each other emotionally financially and spiritually. I agree with this when one is married, or deeply committed, but a dating relationship is different. When you are getting to know eachother’s character and still in the process of deciding if this guy or girl is right for you, it makes sense to leave when you are seeing an attitude towards work/finance and emotional problems that you cannot accept. For me, before I marry a man, I must know that I’m happy with his attitude towards work and the plan he has made for himself. If he is a motivated guy with realistic goals, that is stable to me and once married I’ll stand by him because I know he can overcome setbacks and my sympathy and support will only help. All the guys I’ve considered a future with has several paths in mind that were feasible. A guy like that can still experience difficulties in his career, this is a normal part of life, but ending up with a guy without a plan that is realistic is not the best prospect when you aren’t yet committed. Maybe I’m very picky, but in that case I’d rather wait for someone more suitable. If I go on a boat, I’m willing to face storms and help with the bilging, but only if I know where it is heading and know I can be on it for life. In the case of the OP, both of these patterns seem to be blurred together in his relationship. They both seem to be partially committed. They lived together sometimes, but the OP left the country for months at a time and did not know if he could remain in the country in the future. He clearly meant well, but he was not in a position to plan to spend his life with her only to hope that it was permanent. The only way she could have stayed with him was to follow him to the UK, which would involve giving up her job without him having a stable one there. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/12 "2011-03-09T22:16:41Z")
> [@](#): > > I agree with this when one is married, or deeply committed, but a dating relationship is different. When you are getting to know eachother’s character and still in the process of deciding if this guy or girl is right for you, it makes sense to leave when you are seeing an attitude towards work/finance and emotional problems that you cannot accept. I would agree if they were newly dating but he mentioned they had a relationship for 3 years. Even with the distance there was contact. If you dont have a good sense of a persons character in that amount of time then you have more problems then just finance and emotion. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/13 "2011-03-10T00:28:44Z")
So I feel like I need to defend E. (the girl) and myself a bit. She was EXTREMELY supportive in the bad times. I was without a job (or ony income, obviously) for months. She supported me in every way possible then. About a month before I left that place, she was trying to help me get a job in _her_ institute. They needed someone for image editing and I know a thing or two about it. From out of 7 candidates, I got shortlisted together with one more person, who eventually got the job. I was being forced by the legal situation to move somewhere else. It’s not like she left me when I was at the bottom. My situation improved instantly after I moved to the UK. I had a nice job from the day one, and I got my emotions together in no time. I’m not a depressive type, when life is bearable, I’m a happy person. My breakdown happened because I wasn’t able to do anything and I couldn’t see the situation improving in any way. And no, there was no violence involved. E. didn’t break up with me when I moved to the UK. It happened 3 or 4 months (hard to tell the exact moment) after I moved, so when I was already much more stable, completely self-dependant etc. She was missing me, but was dissapointed that we’re back to square one, to the situation from 2 or 3 years ago. She was stuck in Switzerland, I’m stuck in the UK. When we moved in together in the spring of 2009 (or I moved there to live with her to be accurate), we both thought and hoped that it’s for good. That we might move somewhere else one day, but we wouldn’t be apart anymore. We were planning on stuff like getting married in a couple of years etc. After I returned where I am now, she couldn’t see it happen anymore. The relationship wasn’t going forward, it was going backwards. Not so long ago we thought we made some progress, we found a nice appartament with a lovely mountain view from the balcony, we furnished it the way we wanted, we called it home and meant it. And now we had to handle being away from each other again, not knowing when we’ll be able to be together again. That’s what she couldn’t handle. I do know her very well and although I am disappointed with her sticking to that decision of giving it up, I must say I totally understand her disappointment as well. I may not agree with the conclusions, but I understand. Butterfly wrote pretty much what E. must have felt and thought. I didn’t lose her trust by lying, cheating or anything like that. I just failed as a partner in everyday life. For our first two years we haven’t been partners. We’ve been lovers seeing each other every now and then. Very much in love, but not living together. I know it can be different, she’s just scared to try, she’s scared to even try and imagine that. For most of my life I didn’t have such problems, and always worked hard not to have them - although I’ve been stupid enough not to prepare myself for worse times and that’s why first half of 2010 was that bad… I never experienced anything like this before, and I didn’t handle it too well emotionally. But at that time she was always on my side, she was still my best friend, my girl, my woman and my lover. It’s when we’ve both been stable (but away) when she was peaceful enough to look at it from just her own point of view and decide that it doesn’t take her anywhere near where she wants to be in her life, that she’s not strong enough to make all that effort and pain of being apart and visiting each other once in every two months or so and not being sure how long it’s gonna be like this. Half a year after the breakup I’ve had enough of meeting new girls and I know I still love E. as much as I ever did. I’m also receiving some serious hints about her feelings. Plus, I find out that there’s a possibility for me (regardless if we’re getting back together) to be able to live and work there. If she doesn’t have the feelings for me she had, I’m not gonna force it. When it comes to mones, I need to break the initial resistance. I’ll probably just meet her somewhere in town and need her to want to talk to me and open up for the new chances a bit. I know her very well and I know that she will be defensive. Which isn’t always a bad thing. But I changed enough for everything we hoped for together to happen, if she only gives it a chance. I’ve already had a career before, just needed to pick it up again. I was lucky to meet the right people to help me with that whilst I helped them with their stuff. I know what I’m doing and I know what I’ll be doing in a year, 5 years and 30 years. Just don’t know where and who will be by my side then. ---
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/14 "2011-03-13T00:14:21Z")
So I do a lot of reading on this forum 🙂 For now, it’s pretty obvious for me, that my first order will have to include A314 and [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/). Most probably Instant Shine as well. But I got a bit carried away in my thinking and became interested in other stuff, too. Like, I can easily imagine what a bit of A1 could do for me. Or P74, with its ability of induce a feeling of mutual history, its _“we’ve known each other for ages and it’s been good”_ vibe. At least that’s what I understood from what I’ve read. Of course, first I’ll test A314 and a couple of Instant Line products, then, when I’m comfortable with them, I’ll try the more _advanced_ ones. Question: do I have a _right_ idea of the P74’s effects? In the meantime… I found a bottle of Alter Ego this morning when tidying my desk drawers 🙂 I completely forgot I have one. I bought one together with Liquid Trust a few months ago, and they sent me 1 bottle of LT and 2 of AE. It was like 3 for 2 offer or something. I used up one of each and totally forgot that there’s another one of AE. I tried it straight away and already had a couple of good hits 🙂 Totally different from what I experienced with the first bottle, I had no clue what to do with it so I was literally soaking myself with it. And then, reapplying like every 2 hours :-o All I remember from that time is some crazy DIHLs and WTF looks. Much more of the latter to be honest. One particular situation - I was at work (second chef in an italian restaurant); yes, I wore some stupid lot of androstenone to work. One of the waitresses comes in, her name is H. That’s the first time I was wearing any pheromones around her. She just started working there like 2 weeks before, but we already really like each other. We always talk a lot, we’re honest to each other, there was also some flirting but we’re not really interested in each other in any sexual or LTR way. She’s 21, beautiful and sweet, but I just don’t feel anything. I don’t know if she finds me attractive, but I know she’s seeing me as a friend and I’m very happy with it. Normally she’s really comfortable around me, we’re sharing stupid sexual jokes all the time and it doesn’t create any tension. For example - I’m putting rubber gloves on, to clean something. She saw that, so she turns her back on me, bends over and spreads her butt cheeks. Or when she sees me bent (while looking for something in the fridge), she grabs my hips and “fucks” me. Not to mention all the verbal jokes, I just don’t remember them. This time it’s very different. I said _“hi, H.”_ and smiled. She gave me a DIHL and just passed by. Few minutes later she shows up again, I ask if she’s OK. She frowns and shrugs, and walks away. Doesn’t say anything. So I didn’t know that you can OD with pheromones, I thought that either they’re not working at all (I mean that particular product) or I was not using enough :-o To be honest, at that moment I probably didn’t remember that I was wearing that. I became a bit bothered with H’s behaviour, so next time she comes in, I stand directly in front of her, grab her arms gently and ask what is wrong with her. Her face becomes beetroot-red and she says _“I don’t like horny Martin”_. It seemed like it took some effort for her to say it, or to say anything for that matter. Right now, after gaining some basic theoretical knowledge from this forum, that situation (and a few more that I don’t remember equally well, so I don’t see any point in writing about them) was a very obvious overdose on androstenone. Back then, I didn’t even associate it with pheromones. I didn’t attract any women, so my conclusion was _“this shit clearly doesn’t work”_. Stupid noob, me 😃 Today, I decided to experiment more properly, with my long-forgotten, new-found bottle of AE. I used 3 drops - one each on my temples and one spread between wrists. Now, I know it’s still not proper testing, but that I’ll do with my AD products when I decide what to order and receive them. Plus, compared to how much of Alter Ego I was using before (2 drops on each temple, 2 on chest, 1 on each side of neck, 1 on each wrist - or something in that fashion), 3 drops is next to nothing 😉 And I don’t know exactly what’s in it and how diluted/concentrated, so I don’t see any point in starting my tests from any particular amount. Well, I’ve had a couple of good hits today. No signs of OD, that’s for sure, and at least one really good hit with a very very nice lady. I’m not sure if I should use this topic to write about this. I plan to start my journal in appropriate section of the forum when I start testing the AD products, and doing it properly. Now I’m just having some newbie fun 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rizingfire](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rizingfire/32/1733_2.png) [@Rizingfire](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rizingfire)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2011, 11:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/15 "2011-03-13T11:02:45Z")
Wow bro, I feel your pain…I had something similar happen but we weren’t in different countries…if you love her man, just be patient and follow the instructions the pros have given you…there is nothing like being with the person you really love… ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/16 "2011-03-13T11:20:11Z")
> [@Marihino](#): > > So I do a lot of reading on this forum 🙂 > For now, it’s pretty obvious for me, that my first order will have to include A314 and Instant Honesty. Most probably Instant Shine as well. > But I got a bit carried away in my thinking and became interested in other stuff, too. Like, I can easily imagine what a bit of A1 could do for me. Or P74, with its ability of induce a feeling of mutual history, its _“we’ve known each other for ages and it’s been good”_ vibe. At least that’s what I understood from what I’ve read. > Of course, first I’ll test A314 and a couple of Instant Line products, then, when I’m comfortable with them, I’ll try the more _advanced_ ones. > > Question: do I have a _right_ idea of the P74’s effects? That is a good selection and I can also say a lot about the effectiveness of A314/IH/[P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/)/A1 to help reconnect with someone. Personally I’m leaning towards the A314/IH/P74 combo but she had previously been exposed to me wearing A314/A1 (plus none in both) and that seemed to lay the foundations for her wanting me back. Finding the right amount of none in the mix is maybe your next challenge? Alter Ego is good but IIRC contains some mones common with A314, have you considered something else or even a small amount of plain none itself. ---
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/17 "2011-03-14T01:19:36Z")
Thanks, Mobocaster. The thing is, Alter Ego is all I have right now. And it has to suffice for a couple of weeks. I bought a car (for cash, didn’t want to go for any instalment plan as I hate being in debt), then unexpectedly I had to be out of work due to illness (_bronchitis_, awful stuff, although the nurse that was injecting me every morning was cute and she liked my butt). So not much budget at the very moment. Fortunately, I’m going back to work tomorrow, so there will be some money to be spent on the pleasures of life. It’s very tempting to start this adventure straight away, but financial stability and safety is a priority right now, so I’m not gonna touch my savings. I’m trying to make some important stuff happen and for last nine months I’ve been succeeding. Now I’ll try to increase the tempo and success/failure ratio with the [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/). I’m sure that AD products will be just perfect for what I need. I really like the company’s policy and the fact that all this great info is so available here. I’ll start my tests in a few weeks, when I can afford it. Until then, I’ll just have some fun with what I already have, but this time I won’t fail lake I did before, when I didn’t have a clue how to use it. I started on saturday, continued on sunday, and so far it’s good fun 🙂 Obvious hits from a lady whom I could easily fall in love with, if I wasn’t in one already. I came back home having a nice piece of paper in my pocket, with a name, mobile number and facebook profile address handwritten on it. And I didn’t ask for any of these 🙂 Of course it’s not like the pheromones did it for me, I did. I am a smooth talker (at least in my language, in english I will be in a couple of years too), I have a sweet smile and I keep my body in good shape. But yeah, it’s just that bit easier… Good fun 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marihino](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/marihino/32/1286_2.png) [@Marihino](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Marihino)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/i-need-to-re-gain-a-womans-trust/49165/18 "2011-03-14T02:01:11Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > (…) I can also say a lot about the effectiveness of A314/IH/P74/A1 to help reconnect with someone. Personally I’m leaning towards the A314/IH/P74 combo but she had previously been exposed to me wearing A314/A1 (plus none in both) and that seemed to lay the foundations for her wanting me back. > > (…) I would love to read about any experiences with those. Especially with the goal of, as you put it, _“laying the foundations for her wanting me back”_. In my particular case, I have good reasons to believe that she does want me back. Or, she realized that she still has feelings for me and misses me, but she chooses not to want me back. Because if she chose otherwise, she’d have to admit (to herself) that she was wrong before. And I know it will be really difficult for this one. I just want her to forget about being conseqent in her _sensible_ choices and decisions and to listen to her heart for a moment. And I need her heart to react as strongly as it ever did when I show up there, rather unexpected. I want all those sweet reunions we had before, all the pain of being apart for such a long time, all hopes for future, all the history we’ve had together and all the future we can have together, to just hit her in the face. Sorry for all the _poetry_, the wine is definitely inspiring 😉 So, have you written any reports on A314/IH/[P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/)/A1 combo? I tried to use the “search” function, but it gives me nothing when looking for titles, and too much unrelevant stuff when looking for posts.