# IH self-effects?I wrote this note to the cutest girl I have ever seen.

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ih-self-effects-i-wrote-this-note-to-the-cutest-girl-i-have-ever-seen/32381>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [September 11, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ih-self-effects-i-wrote-this-note-to-the-cutest-girl-i-have-ever-seen/32381 "2009-09-11T18:32:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![sixsinseven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@sixsinseven](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sixsinseven)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ih-self-effects-i-wrote-this-note-to-the-cutest-girl-i-have-ever-seen/32381/1 "2009-09-11T18:32:35Z")

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I dunno, if the instan honesty helped my pull my thoughts together, but this is what i wrote:

–  
I should have exploited the very premise of you “loving” me. You knew that I did not believe you. I found you to be genuine nonetheless; and shared with you my every honest thought. Now I wonder if I should have consumed your mind with this malicious silence instead. I resisted, for the very reason why I only told you that I liked you. You were one person whom I did not want to deceive.

It was the day I last saw you when I sat on those stairs and stared straight forward as you talked about the dramatic relations between your privately schooled friends. I did not exactly care while you talked about this and that. As you did, I thought about the immeasurable difference between you and me. -For the first time I was completely distracted from you.- I also felt rather hollow after realizing that we were nothing but affectionately superficial with one another.

Driving away that day, I thought about the first time I saw you. You were in the library, oblivious. I watched you without anything to say, and left wondering specifically about how beautiful you actually were. Even now I do not know.

Although I have a better idea of what you are not, I understand that beauty is indeed relative to ones own expectations and if one is without any, little can be achieved.

Because we met unexpectedly, and with the knowledge of you leaving so soon; neither of us expected much.

Regardless, we embraced each other when we could and with out regret.

& on that note, I hope that you continue to dream sweetly,

j